尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGajjhTXbxT
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6CtDGj4Va
「妳瘋了嗎？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkCbf1pMit
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy7lUva0GH
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi0KVqaZYv
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KZWE96uBr
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBorkbNVpQ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YwkRdpUxL
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovs67Rsenj
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ftz8rsBiE
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxD0q3mmu4j
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNpNR6ofxi
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XZD0wFJpo
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNsCbC18sh
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef2PeiiNZH
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwosQGRj176
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwXuwDwSba
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKutJnXB2I
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpb6N4aoU70
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDN3RaQdQc
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrX3UaTrxr
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfnayznTx1
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLdfwWdNVH
站在樹下的人是英傑。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHBLKywZnL
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYFGJaSD5x
我跑向他，勾住他的手。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWSNM0Z4Vg
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYFYR9LbCA
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSLJeBHudj
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyFkSoCBAQ
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zr4BrmU6j
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaiXAW0WlV
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7doVws185w
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufEszRVbLV
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMSiWPbfjY
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zJS6wQem8
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKem6tXf4Eq
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWiQbTtYTO
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmZ2kzT2xn
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxjQOuXc0G
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcVCOWPqix
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPzrfSqHpp
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZxiw2dbZy
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaK55Vc6d9B
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzCwrtqUhb
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH4leMx7uz
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOK3M8VqrP
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNgqNNhEty
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz3t2N7LfK
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHWahFMTQ0
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QurBSI4WT
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uCo8X45oW
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWp8XSHWVeU
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEecuRc7LX
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNheIVDgza
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAQjcLc8Vr
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawhuRff0Ky
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2Xmf0YwNI
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bHFKhPhLN
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgklcGR5af4
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Q2agC8vDx
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLIeSpacVM
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL2qUsY5hS
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUiawbzTUz
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADxNpa02d4
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WVK4Hlkuk
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMAlTQEnFL
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjktgrpky15
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQZ22lLplf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfLgLXG9oN
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwVuwNpT9Q
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqNjaKrLh0
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHso448eFf
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6C9Ob6pz44
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDy6qs6blL
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyb4kint04
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPv2aAkIlGM
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbc2UeDL8w
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkjk0plc9H
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q6VRd7RMP
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUD3koqIKg
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSsmLQZzQ0
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMN39DxWEs
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtmt6tQxza
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoTfkXwRF8
在電視裡面。539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV7iMdEby0
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEvy13A2sY
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowdSDj28ro
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50OEUSgu0w
待續。
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