日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKfiWqsAbs
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8r61njD7V
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCGLmzLwNG
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpcwa5Q9Iv
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyRcyDDva7
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoOJYON0p6
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG86L3ak3iI
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXOLJlPWZW
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8XQQcgAa1
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXww6Cguia
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbuARwA0W9
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafrVC0OFgk
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkb18s4RdJ
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjU8D5IoPsr
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPlt3fVexB
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr18FYENCDO
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVLyK6dB6c
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNUZ26HYH1
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsz5JlRhmk
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxs1a4YnAF
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DzlYlOExo
「我哪知道。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02geIcA6hk
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFU49Ia2mPx
「……說的也是。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutxPWex1Rk
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutoMT6Qx8Y
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszivdULNTj
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gTyGggukV
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyDnJuUzqV
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9STD8fDZJ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbRmTjPi7w
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SSpCULLZE
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkb2nvmd0M
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxswZaDZIv5
無法灑脫。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YZYUVPzC4
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1pEgmhM4F
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP9d4fR4fX
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpED40sHKN
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82ZF9M8PaX
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0mnc778xz
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBxtnZJip1
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QCzMQkoqv
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydKJdL3myF
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtEVkllJvR
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVxcW9U1vb
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7mEDY9Xgr
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4CebugcW9
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKnyTjlr09
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnL04w6RNPR
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUnj7dKsBJ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOMH4c4BjW
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiRygvn3VB
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELyg7jexGM
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4lGSITKW3
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUUS625GW1
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsBiuNgyTp
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9kHyR8ShP
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR70op66P1
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmR9jibPco
「嗯。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IoFBUMNOR
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQNUry0f3Z
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f6zF1nZC3
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy18MeNaom7
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQuugSnlF5
我還不明白。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA5CJBLRZb
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CZzfeqq6i
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOuY7zPLwC
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLJeJxYUlw
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KjYYBBChz
「……沒有。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYejVAvtmM3
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloD9yZvJfo
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ1Sl5S7Pq
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLohI3ZxWEp
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvNrIzBOxf
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUksNRYw4I
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0xd3q0XVg
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Q8hfR7XXT
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi3xFtaaFd
「妳沒必要忘記。」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjknPwDcU7
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIDsZxDTlV
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaVggmHlIm
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqGeHyudSj
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKmGmf4Nds
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ateKeCDhm
後來。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8160Lh4Jf
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIBVeYjmlm
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMErzz9kar
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfg0Wc5FXE
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UISHWpsT5
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85oSx3OGV2
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIfGepnaEW
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cJ0g5LVpY
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2ZHT6M5dV
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3QmM0e4lX
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdQP4c0tBa
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb2KSKehrt
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkcvMYYiTG
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4WPCiS56L
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR39kGIHb57
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeu6wrJx8V
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKKTSjo9y0
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD4AFO4H7a
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gwclmqudz
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaWwY2PtRK
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTZ9TgJX6W
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULx7AfIxWD
完。
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