尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDQsVDVNCf
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfrE8Az1su
「妳瘋了嗎？」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiOcqtU2qT
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1pp0Ao2pd
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAFWkiRdqo
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHLCjk7xLt
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOhfS7XQRK
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoMBkHGoRd
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUIFvSps59
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOwnRto7bx
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMc1VEvt4K
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rKPb4uAhQ
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ul9GLE8VF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VvPagLFCV
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoFy2S0OBS
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxxvLL7oLw
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSdH6Mi4pu
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVa5ZikITS
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhoHApwR6r
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmGGtH9EvF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiWF7LAli0
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSypM6Cv9O
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fuWBRHr87
站在樹下的人是英傑。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQgymyBfpp
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3v3Ng9UayI
我跑向他，勾住他的手。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcLQf5iMiz
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8JRUyTWPt
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHgPEzIIK7
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhiulFevDu
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryW5OKMsHb
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1De2w83MNk
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNJRXejdfR
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJApUZjdLQD
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUdQjcGo5I
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UQBaxFWXl
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwW99wTQjs
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdJ5z70Fl0
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjUAzk7mJo
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWdiNkYv1d
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUIjZHAx0S
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9UzSdgH6J
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL0tlVta6T
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjosaS3TGKn
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKiE4mMl4H
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKUxDMIhUt
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTES7Xakydi
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqN2LBFl7Y
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNB3IgIXxe
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp2CdRPpBe
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zO46SvFK1
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZN27TVlyig
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNG5Ks279C
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oscMWgsG6
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQT9z62wd3
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQUFBRK7pD
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq59215vY0c
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg1cyv836n
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mjZU83mNP
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrTna42jJ8
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLszkVje3Q5
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLbQ02OPKF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CVQTk06ZJ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3xXlBVORI
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTuSDszWqK
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUe9nY5gqJ9
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QfIgNaouD
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbLOc3rJ4T
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCGCYLsv3Z
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gJ8VOReB7
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf9vD5MK1X
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn3Knzy0og
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUffJPbPKfv
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcYhOw55Fh
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnuuJC52S9
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Yigmzm2Es
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0avwgHvRX9
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUO9MCxYRN
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDUAez2cOg
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMeS55ndUL
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmmMsPOofF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqny3VA6hk0
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdvaQXwrwF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYSJGRBoRY
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKX7KUIHjO6
在電視裡面。537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFrCY0mmq3
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeyXiKLfzO
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wvVesnvt9
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhihxxN9aPc
待續。
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