事情要回到幾個月前。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWGX8xvg8q
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebKVBqE2Ds
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpID1hfsV4
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgOj4W6aGO
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ14Xf6IB9e
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT17v21dsd8
「幹嘛道歉？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk91C197Vb
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48mspuVzIh
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8mdgHgLCs
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCkOPpxUuQ
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6HpitOoeE
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyRsQoUuSk
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpNcItbhwk
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mpAoIvJS8
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvzLgXl40H
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RzXF6H4yL
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy8Gabnx8E
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaR19DhaThB
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxynLFSyiY9
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf7mbj3uJS
「不是。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxAXOJOYjX
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8bb1QWOMF
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrDXG8SK9V
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuje8ICoPA
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzvkbWFqq6
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKyhhORjRC
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHa4GEDjNii
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECszvxh77k
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUsLJ0Zn0J
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyQ9L93qKT
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCnazL0CCR
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvmxAT8HKG
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKngNoUzz9t
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBubhRxzaO
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WDjWGGpLa
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2G9I6Bksg
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GSG3igsWs
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTNcevbE5D
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiz76Xouge
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS74jRoqa1
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl54Oa93BIo
「我信任妳。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyv39FxOpyq
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpj2ODD38D
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyq5gXtZ8h2
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfedGhaBcit
「妳應該不是。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9i4q0m1U8H
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3mu43LTDZ
「這麼有信心？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvwUgOOj1e
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQagSTSgNq
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrSIRTM9sx
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv1MrJNjSI
「嗯？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVpoK3WyL8
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ufqL4eXOs
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwkHKgHnri
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu81Ib8DT1g
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2euligQDy
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwG4SGhEZKi
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxxi16z4Sg
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrAzOaoBbs
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmsYpLViMG
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdY7uIyOisr
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccpVvdHShd
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaZhtEd8f0
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWS2BZT9j8
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj2FRoyvwZ
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3GYOiIiOH
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEheLP4kBco
「哈哈哈。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSUkAbKQX6
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV0SthaW6a
「哈哈。」447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFisPSg0gHi
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQCYEfax4s
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WGXwLWBJ2
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEL5tVhzAz6
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLOLvNoe5E
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgRggfG8HL
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8cpIZpqUK
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEohwNLl7Q
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FfWALsNRP
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKBTc8ELav
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPl1v5vsfP
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNIi41rp1H
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceQXzkHfc6
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNAfHBD6g8
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRs9ey9M5j
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJUBsn7oU4
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ly7wC79m5
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUy5DWecnr5
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjpm5kFsg9
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONG8vVHiYV
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFu7mflzgHy
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8j5EwI9zPJ
接著，換左腳。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqWQzlfAj9
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaA14XIaPtj
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3sbIttl7e
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O5DpX4Xct
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkQhdOfMpW
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwdHpOdUQy
「頭抬起來。」我說。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bFGBBgAY6
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSow4c4tzmy
命令的語氣。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2ZMOveumc
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfvSvZ2pF9
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSb7FqVtVxe
447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSm1tF7Lbf
待續。447Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqE7TpBZ4w
