事情要回到幾個月前。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3iRug82Aq
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnt1QSsEW4G
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCgjEo0W0q
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDN0fWa9zu8
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOfDufdzLy
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BREocvhLk
「幹嘛道歉？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtSe8ewa5c
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JPuPTvd5G
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbw4mq29EeY
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOKwupEAIq
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMeQCBB4LG
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGUo5WOztt
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXhLmscaXl
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjz3RfpmZf2
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFq3qtOCVG
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l7qqulQLg
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdqrc0OQCo
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1R2T3ZM5r
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpPnduQ2dy
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeHSif0mlX
「不是。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAH2AkEnYTN
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLs7lU5CIX
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMObLB4cO8e
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ohdlPJFje
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQegh0mC7eU
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMMArBXgH0
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEot1ytdYsu
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjllMCDfVoj
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SMvGClayr
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd1NOycpI7
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXkNVtfi7o
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4GHXZr5nU
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OaG7Y10GY
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECtYh5boKL
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvI2s6G44t
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KS2TH62ml
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fqUhK4D20
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1k6XqUA3C
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6INfRVtTw
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTyqm8ohMN
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qxjnVvN3s
「我信任妳。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqN0P6ujoG
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45Aw10QK7U
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1EGfRtYg2
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3kcPW4D4Z
「妳應該不是。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvkVPIPysL
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHRHHJfrkY
「這麼有信心？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq37mqMgb3
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRtPzTdxaJ
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLwyI6Q9bM
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwSozQ932l
「嗯？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXdjJ5G8TE
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj46hdaIOQ
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozLORKIoDG
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPk1gZFKJQ
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJAzJmjK2O
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fbMlLBRzd
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uhDDv6wyg
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJtPU04C7U
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgQYukkJVA
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5v0R8B5VCq
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UwlDRGUrX
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFhwMVVRYC
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr501hxgcV
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnTal9Oeny
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe8WXGz0Pd
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmGeenPHsE
「哈哈哈。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmR0GX1ZIk
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3dl5pdWOh
「哈哈。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSRiUHwSAD
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJBbz5Ai2K
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cQJ7uunGJ
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpdlbJtP0H
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iv44ck6mU
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4NZgEvSWq
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVHimb3Emb
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb9ykFUKV0
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjoGOFdzUI
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAys3QCPAJl
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytF9fgUmeT
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbZ5U1r7kq
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd3kJGmSH3
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEWD5a0w7t
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YQSc7vV1V
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEFEXEzZ2r
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQ4t2dxgn5
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN2k2lVhyn
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHDcu5fjuS
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6RUHNtGvW
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6N8KiMBdtN
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s6SZd7f6J
接著，換左腳。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihwV1MkHIK
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81tkZ7kOnc
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUGgrO87Pg
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRMQ4D28Je
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP22ivGl3c1
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV0BZXgCap
「頭抬起來。」我說。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlLFVksMRA
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbEOaOWdFV
命令的語氣。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTC5qphphgJ
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DkyWeqwFX
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VMSD3Rqe5
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFyHrrMlfP
待續。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89wpbvIH9b
