事情要回到幾個月前。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnf2HmFck7
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Qjl4F0hZE
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nxRW4P85k
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeqgkyyUbc
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnleZvZeIHl
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoJlHmE0qr
「幹嘛道歉？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVean2YUfDR
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyrXKnDOQc
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9vjadEvef
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWK839UtA5s
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikdx0rcDd1
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2gklE8SHb
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUXrkUZLMU
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiipoe4dTyT
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTqgIgNxHW
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEarIWHAMpd
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DkN6fPLiH
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQj2p5TeaT
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmZo6me4LD
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iKaSZR19M
「不是。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqoZk6mbyY
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVBzHtM6Lc
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKg8DdN21u
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnevn90i1N
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGxzsbaYo2
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXfxvAjn47
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwlKQmVrpX
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQhmuAIg5W
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoqfYtZiyF
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZPD7YkmFq
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZtXMPgHPE
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPOSCZpMo0
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSExRAJnhsy
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzDXC1M1V5
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwN5SXUIDi
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8O7Rsa2K6
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhVPqIB5dc
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhgLydmVXA
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlO0eipPWZH
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytjbN2YNHL
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRufvGVjgV
「我信任妳。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu4T7kdjbT
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTog7z4tf1v
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEhYOJxRbo
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheFIcUwRnV
「妳應該不是。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoRDO5lGOs
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJwS9GVizx
「這麼有信心？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRrvIGhbjx
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVuSdtyete
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhB9DvXYJZh
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHSZECB8F8
「嗯？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4WO4zUcZs
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56Zo7lTa6p
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5E4jFFJZ0
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7Nwi3eUdB
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmJmjFM3qU
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIF0BJP6ru
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWiuTpzPv1
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H9zI3msBc
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLCY1vzzcQ
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca2xBBulUv
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mMNF1B5Cw
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu2aSzcjrN
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNP3iC05DZI
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF6s9n06L7
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76HWYY5yhB
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlBHEN6hTf
「哈哈哈。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMpVFNxuqd
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6cAWhz91g
「哈哈。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSpLsfFe7d
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGSZx8bySy
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzsINBhOLr
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDY1LC4InM
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwluKzpTNU
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrsysrtNMv
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLcdVCccrx
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv26IYWO4f5
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4X0OFw9bf
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrnfFbU1Jw
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiWKb64Ikr
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MyBzkwfiv
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmGcn834V3
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O0IavKQ4Z
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGRB1lSlpU
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakzF7sCgsR
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCn2nMF8r75
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhySwAH1fuy
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoFu4BbnwN
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHmdMuOnxH
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9iUmLk3yS
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJdIWHCoHv
接著，換左腳。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLm2Hpr5ISi
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkT26Kygpe5
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiSnPdtE3e
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsEvCxvKuC
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfv9wei4s6
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllP98qbBtE
「頭抬起來。」我說。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oopympbNc
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1OGpVnvRc
命令的語氣。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM7rWkWtY7
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOVNdKtaNB
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fvidAOuP4
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6CYNc7ZAY
待續。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlm1wwVIyHZ
