尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eO3OE0y5e
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RNpGSNkcc
「妳瘋了嗎？」495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrK6JWDuu8
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsK5uvLtiB9
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnp9ShNT8u
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmSG7kIFsp
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqI4qO0B2b
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5A9e7qOM4P
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFViIdJ618
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLSLFhgniU
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UCNmblTmZ
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UdnMdMiqc
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauGM3oXNNL
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqoaFOmCFZ
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkspZmblE4G
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMOtanssZB
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOB1IcHosV
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSoQdLnqh0
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1kVcn1TIn
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhRT6rVgX5
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbzFOcr7qI
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqo8b65K05x
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kbwvAfFfi
站在樹下的人是英傑。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHSfkSAcF6
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzg35eUQZXT
我跑向他，勾住他的手。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHhdpY3ZO8
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2olkVY3Px
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSH6ROUAoL
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6xOKJL2R6
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RVyG8kA7n
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3654KWXT4
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VvqYPGRSo
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAGFGfUpHF
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0XUPDrdbK
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcVXG7Pber
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2BWUMcI4Z
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJUBeVmugU
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAfeQi6FHK
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIZS64EVQv
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvDnowwwqC
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6EQz83Wti
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdFKuKuh3N
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlkRD9gQac
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1md36kQqCJ
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNbpJSYYx1
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPiY3AP1pD
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j2EuZkjqY
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLMyOxKuXk
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzDvZW9qwu
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LfRGgD8UC
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo38iRFyjQ
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYEbeEqKvS
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdKSHqhzkZ
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7hkV6mDlo
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pqahOD55U
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCjhbmvr95
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIF1S1p9m4
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP20MATGZC
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE64eit36UR
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQ23mkx6iQ
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEohZVWLIau
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeC1SHLHLW
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdjQjc4CfU
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pGgMrdL8H
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtW1GG1a4w
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRUSsjdD6I
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtqlmntOfe
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2BMfZf3Sh
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNnYsjFp8v
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAdg5LgO9c
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB78jWpQlEK
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7UiroWtz1
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1rZJrqj30
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfF6N8C1P3
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lsxjgq29T
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lBzfFXyBJ
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfYTDy9XTR
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujNeKLzP0o
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfswFhb9NJ9
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB7F6CCkA6
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN8ASUK6bN
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyJrRH7mfp
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWkh0p4YNN
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaMOGPQLaw
在電視裡面。495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9qCUCHbpd
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92AuBhvZLq
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgai3iOQe1l
495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwPHjfwY80
待續。
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