尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0Nl4ylWdl
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSA5BfsuFh
「妳瘋了嗎？」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiV0EsDzuqh
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4VL5TeFBL
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV8Ir4111P
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RVqgNrO82
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EiU2jvLHM
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFKwbidZdV
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci6Yz0DZqV
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OxZe7JsTw
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaQnBU5AXN
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrrtqv2Y9i
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJkJrQGDue
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ry2j8I5za
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3FpcN97AQ
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQoEv9AAy4
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoTsOvQH39
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb0k5CTOXi
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5F2smwNOmM
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEO3h4VqzZc
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ231ka4sSJS
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIKfMb7qyo
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0bTUz9qNc
站在樹下的人是英傑。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97GbEacIGt
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tYUsffQXh
我跑向他，勾住他的手。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXbjkE5661
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYX6kjGkZE
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61VE7Rm2g3
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8Z75NaHjp
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gqCtINaXo
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXX89ajfRk
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa80tmD8Ks
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vvyUUE3y4
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCek9yrnhmu
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPnzIuO49W
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz1x6L0Dvq
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kMu6fI6cp
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi88VLZVSlr
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqkxkIRd5y
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvh2Hkr5zN
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPTXYqTHef
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi76xvZp97f
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDNHAL7wXj
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfry2P34I3w
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpl7cKBlEI
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YDHKNHnGM
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdEcTsN3Bt
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIGodDwrwB
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbIISItIwd
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9YQMExNrR
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrRTZanXq5
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyX1quhAMT
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEDwZnwoot
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0A2U9uhkPJ
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwqbUMJhR4
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwp2LOZ25F0
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pRM0cfiY3
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh34vchQfRL
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiCq9IhHm8
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQI9U5DbXG
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwON3ubyHm
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy76LBx3GY
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADvydVxHay
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEJwVFqVN4
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuV2cLpx0s
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0OW7RPcH2
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkONvfiq5n
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY24sEJFWV
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZnuI8t97e
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNhoQQYH7z
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdP4GPvL2oe
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8Z9ufwo2J
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8jSDMsi8B
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphDllha6zP
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0hYYDGBCG
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYJTkW2e7h
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWQBLBAF01
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmij2rb11xl
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuM1MEEGpM
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0GnJpg0cW
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5T2i5vitNh
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx13oAqNcL5
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5gihs2EWT
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI25cdObABW
在電視裡面。569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUY44uAWAL
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqYvM4vuxa
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMwf14ZasC
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqMQoRckmR
待續。
ns216.73.216.213da2
