事情要回到幾個月前。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzsWbkHBSO
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2ABe1n7NJ
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X8t1o3iJa
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0ot3KUV7T
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTxuLCYLkg
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca6FzxXxrq
「幹嘛道歉？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGqx5Rw1OF
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7dMOD7TKY
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoQmhOqLts
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXdbKljqgb
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddiPPMmRAP
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYkQHkjYi3
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ1GShvwsz
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jEuINyZSw
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwt6NllVKl
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVDOc4CcX8
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWrrR7vtAW
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwpeXjOT9k
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIrPYDBt3r
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2HQ2XdwXg
「不是。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2geP2KiyU
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3Qo0U8Hl3
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnm7ngWzwj
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKFOQJr7Jf
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMbudMN4n7
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9hNyOE2CX
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16l8Z3i9EZ
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hfAggXMh6
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnscSwvyyHI
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4ikSeBi0k
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSr4cNBB53U
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PG5geZcRp
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIqP3U69sg
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUE6e2b8e7P
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI2y7l2cZr
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3GLkiKC4U
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94TJSZnm0N
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYSWil4LnF
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG12e6Vt7Tn
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJyrHvZbAr
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCJ9meq7E7
「我信任妳。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYt5fUwX7r
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUe1csRWMW
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSe5KFNUPRB
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE9OH2LNNW
「妳應該不是。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3866DglAe
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsSRFXMNZu
「這麼有信心？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq5FGIUT6I
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdHvKTtXLz
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMfon9LCO4
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8rN52hkUR
「嗯？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrraV2ErXK
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbDJkIJoeT
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5J2BsQY9qN
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK44hgHYCqA
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcytYdtIRXA
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHXt2hrrii
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4L9V8KDzTS
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwQReD5xK9
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcI2jDFoye
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA7SMQ4yeA
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQG1tFAlTZT
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveWZdIWtqf
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAlGlt5QkG
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyeR3RSeAq
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRyJIdAR0I
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyk7F9MSmDD
「哈哈哈。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPopitxKht
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYHvN6cP8j
「哈哈。」413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyBdHX3iYf
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJfC8wsAZI
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNN279eCISF
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEuoMesPHX
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoL3bmLNQ6X
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhSJ3auJ7R
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGlZ9ssmHA
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZI2ZWUaC8
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGcwFCacvL
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9dqpY4td0
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwOKH9kI20
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAIDMkxPW8
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqQj7UP8We
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zDw2uUjAH
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7xy5ii8MZ
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1saNoEotTl
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkzsqz26db
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QZ9WJPcMO
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGPBwmVHD8
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN9cqQXe9L
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3J95qvu3HI
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfWIPRk7nF
接著，換左腳。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYSomfusIL
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFLnIHxk9C
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12rz9LbpfP
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF8Zgxxuad
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqL6peThpw
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRH78Ru9zK
「頭抬起來。」我說。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CLQyWeUhj
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcR3Zav8kDq
命令的語氣。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLGYr5RuUx
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SuungeT8y
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1zfKGtM3F
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM1zpNirYg
待續。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzpZrfaYUC
