事情要回到幾個月前。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ng53wCFyE
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjtB893cbU
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6eEXUB5c9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IY59pLsCn
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GjiOkn9FD
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuYe1qg3w4
「幹嘛道歉？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2qx8EMnGU
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6K4NlP2Fm
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKV3qogThH
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZvLkdTKw9
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHbWGnRhIj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElGNH1j9p2
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwopDWvou9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmg1K4fSoec
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4e8QwY2BU
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDUyYVgiPx
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfe5A8cWd7
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNSvHg2s9M
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVd3VnlIhQ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sji4erPdN
「不是。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8TR7feq0H
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39gbGkaa67
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XcGKcYylr
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LrmxAE75v
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExZeOYDrT4
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWVDqujNR1
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAqAViUv8L
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT03zsXrax
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxZ2ovujKM
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi0s1jb2zh
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4GlCYGEUE
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA6WYrDiW6
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCNQO8Usai
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TZudBDL0C
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4YAEfvedD
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cCeZl0dQg
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB0yQQrAr9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUIwOuF1Kv
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DiRIX5UEc
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfszQ8UvM9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSN05L93lNJ
「我信任妳。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY4VFxQF3Z
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysopTZgcUi
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmVZMr27f9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq9YusH9zA
「妳應該不是。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2th0So3Aa
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfIuWreKuS
「這麼有信心？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxWh5OFKk2
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqONvQvKidq
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFW4EDNE8Ko
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPrUMTd378
「嗯？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8AQkRAiRH
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZwnmBBunz
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvygoWzXz5
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7CS4oVhY5
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIVIFAxz9Y
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnO7d2lpQLw
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCGAKJMXE3
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZA8UNnaBr
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3mHKWqhdR
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtGNNlkpm2
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdv4hkig2X
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7okTCXszw
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqHZiZz102
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQoWepXk3f
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkDbRNrSUo
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71vcMYer2p
「哈哈哈。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3wMR6oAQd
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2owWkJomSK
「哈哈。」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFPdoACirQ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmX7kpDa1DX
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim9PjIO1eW
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pI0fBr6dt
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiQIxZOCNs
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr4GqF15ZJ
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Jx7jMTd9I
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZirA3hV72x
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9gHYJJLBv
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYXfG6Nu8k
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VJBek2ls7
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZyru5o2YA
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB4ZNDF4Mh
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfSJyQiV5s
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSgHk7WqKc
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GihBisSOO
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTANWbyc7V
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnWvD7tyxE
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tfptV4ygj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfcvCKCutv
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jmDpFjZgQ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOx4MaRfOZ
接著，換左腳。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sY37Mt9ox
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJWYljIrAF
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpqwlvAZIp
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9LqYX8ZI3
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Axh7msdR1
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4D3tinIK0H
「頭抬起來。」我說。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu7JfafLKK
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrPGQaO1HL
命令的語氣。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi96k5vyOi8
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnj4qI05Hj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr72Gc2H9g
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmMHNy6sXz
待續。412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRR0aTi44WG
