日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lnW3YgMU4
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWCFnrPPZ0
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w4Onr0Lhu
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3gs093WUX
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwDDxfWKuZ
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchHRNkgyCb
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFCMuEGCrD
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCbwzACYsU
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOC2b7DJGxt
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xdQ9UYFMC
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijSrAd2JRs
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPefhHsHRI2
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU7BQYrgcr
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNssH0DJovr
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCGxO5LHWs
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZF5e3uE58
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1jBPgRov3
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBe4teCOp2
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChpT7IP8X9
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGYBPxl3Yn
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYk39H7oy1
「我哪知道。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHE8hruP6Y
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFQYTkzzFa
「……說的也是。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAG6qGon4zo
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarRYO83eBj
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIj3mXNfDm
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9judyAM18
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B9LIrr0DX
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYgjGWx0eI
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvuiilU7FY
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KFahAKSfQ
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhmuOKjM1U
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdSfyrDiIN
無法灑脫。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22QLa3CEi8
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjORDxQH7B
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5J0xxdWTFb
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT7pBLIvD5
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ851LMNur
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo6sUyPJS4
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXXneT3V6X
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjZPhYwJ3j
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6weAez7p9
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNz81qez8OK
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvndI5ALj4
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZQPGpP1Xw
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWf0w5GD8xC
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxWp1INQKU
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEl1pVEUaJ
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9dAjkEFbe
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn97n027Ln
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtf6bYdUfH
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzhU61Nv2V
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4WFSgQfgN
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QZDBbddCX
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMvWvG34sh
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UW7KomXGD
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwf9sbEcLTU
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJFGLkySBP
「嗯。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPjyA7r9WA
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE49PWvRdQh
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjC3C10fJ7
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24D4rj9gQb
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUuVwp0nQG
我還不明白。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iaEokovNY
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqn6191IsI
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmesBOdvUH
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RfTsLXCFI
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmqO3IyFWY
「……沒有。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96oxftm0rN
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsENzoRxdj
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hliJVtLV1
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR900DInGq0
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnz6FH0ybb
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHqh2KvS94
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqLd0Zii1T
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgCPZVX64S
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6LTEgR9cO
「妳沒必要忘記。」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgDgbAYDDC
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKOlwEvkyP
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3PxMGs5s8
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdijS4ookTH
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZsS1GKAf2
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU2CHNHKdw
後來。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCIUvngooV
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzm3bzr1F9
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyxMCNuUaD
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FEUXjsRLd
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEu9gFUQpi0
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOGw84hldB
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oPQmRm74B
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s4O0QZySI
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM26pqzYfyT
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtOkt5Pm9e
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4e3AvDT6J
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYsdm6hBur
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjU2c5o1YF
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzu1M3nSDi
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo6b5vgr8U
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgcKMj9MGb
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7NFV5s21y
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeR7n78RbQ
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvNMYYajwP
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCp3xNjk6F3
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlQAbzb8mM
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGf5HcCDyuc
完。
ns18.117.132.49da2
