日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3sf7OUiD0
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUocP7ba2E2
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZpCZZOb3n
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEr6EGjO1mf
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8E2jR5v9O
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWv3fM8o3eg
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsK0sBjjgp
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnaqf6Ba8W
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRRkHuGpdU
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oHN29srjv
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKd9nSk0hl
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAxKbcVxi7
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG57zwBOsl
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E1kjcrK3c
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZLD65IM9V
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNU8EdCSCH
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJk4bnztpGH
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA97WLlNBZt
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpES0GHRWn
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhkJ6qtiFl
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZqnCZKKdX
「我哪知道。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYFIvJ5ukf
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVO01lU0GcF
「……說的也是。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgAcGW65mj
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQkgi8paAB
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZcyTconyc
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBcg7fousy
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ7ZT8RhtD
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIn0tRSmLDS
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7RuBnkDb9
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwv5NTF8RL
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPow0uTQlkI
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPikDijD9Tt
無法灑脫。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMztbJBVEiR
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48oU2HAtLs
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GuvoTiK0r
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPJRF4zGfu
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡad4p3l3iS3
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzGKsSY6ev
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMitB2q2rb
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsFWLe30X4
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDmTa0l5YY
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwmPpLJlUJ
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqxDVtBM0H
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMmU5TDNoP
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8xHJGXSLw
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGJrSUU6He
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNI6a3uA0a
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvPvSVGJu3
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQvALNyfmy
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeywZnDChZ
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE5Oh5pD6Z
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuYF7CFNuE
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIugkaRZTXS
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbsSQnXSrG
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqecveVExUB
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWDDFmQ7T3
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTB2NV7qhs5
「嗯。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNVj35YT6g
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WKuQgys2o
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIQs91o1V4
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K2FuhvPLx
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVJzbqRnZW
我還不明白。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2Nnls7koc
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBPiVAIifs
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZ8oaDjLRD
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPpSydaxLF
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0dmTNESH2
「……沒有。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTHmNzsoYO
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZ8ZsFNfXX
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvJ73NsBtR
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeEXm4wpoF
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6l0bBdRkdW
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqY4DYk0wK
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4DRArzcbr
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkoaI7XCwT
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQUCadAnpv
「妳沒必要忘記。」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2lf1qX6TL
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpG6BJPwHyu
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRomthYJLoi
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy5jcSnTEQ
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjLYnkF6qq
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocTwtQtNvD
後來。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbKfFYhhso
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbobRGkkyPf
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq5hYrgBnV
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCJanQoEsm
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xv59tFWgK
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiV59X3tWdF
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwLx36ccoG
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0um7RbDAD
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwAa5px67k
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrvx1G3FmC
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZEK72PTmt
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOsk5eT0rF
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wclC5ort8
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7IuhIu2As
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFCcge7U4y
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsbzGa3fO2
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAsaeJ7XVt
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5bAXY8iVl
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsRUKlD4Nd
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9WAZdlvg3
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBc5ncrK7j
570Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPJDl1Ev4g
完。
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