日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEElmLVbMsT
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NKiBj6Ey3
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsuRwgVBZd
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCv5orkvlA
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiSMVUlFYs
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1hqiAtmR4
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHjSXqFZxO
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbDiwfCqBy
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApZQfTk6rx
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTEAlP7Sz0
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jHxymlPoQ
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvpEBQkJiE
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0307Ks4XE0
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKuxpeVgLx
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUy0jFB5QcL
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FXqyjPb2u
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaAmgR5OHX
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUDAhvZHF2
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CR2nQ1osY
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoxALAFqwU
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qccEca8dh
「我哪知道。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqUjCNRq9g
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrl13V1ZZyL
「……說的也是。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq75czOQqQz
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48so17mKmV
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u8x8JyHrM
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZYQw2uxuz
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQOYXq7m6V
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN82TljDhZ1
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpJEOvPABx
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpqDXAQLsr
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvrVoopl5P
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepFfhcQNHH
無法灑脫。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW8d7mgc1H
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5dugIt2S3
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRlwumhpmH
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNH9pN58YQ
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDqfkqTqMi
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmrw3UHgNO
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOxvyaJPl9
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnwJhKdIF9
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxlEe3GA4r
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHFuWTCYsL
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAcDmzt7iF
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP1wBZOXD3
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡET4ttsbpfi
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxwEUGzWi7
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xMguNNtRc
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa35LiQOhcX
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iXnk3HhBC
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHMUhrJVod
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqjkuqRaNS
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwYk2dbwYp
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PVMBeAJyE
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld4nDDrpbi
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKwiUuTMav
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFNeewj1tc
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltgOGkqRoe
「嗯。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkYU9lbuTx
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwGQYMOI3V
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj2MUdQUap
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiAst3fOZb
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTOioDChSZ
我還不明白。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUImKmhtBZ
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPQQn0HATA
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum2N7PxJff
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2R6zb3SLe
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Z1HiSSqT6
「……沒有。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE5pZ7brVJ
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47OnkYo6Qi
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqULzrTD0x9
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GbpclMWls
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkFGHggYdc
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfll5t6jBa
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc19hIXu3U4
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpxQw5nSj8
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYRck6eMmR
「妳沒必要忘記。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyE6LgZm3V3
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12bJHICOoA
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCn6y4ynPNe
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQj6gTuhXa
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGezFGv1rV
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4BkPfrM2z
後來。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIwkJp1XWT
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5bGkSCRcv
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlJYGe7u3N
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKSUkC2n2r
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn0sNhnVGZ
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtflfh9AHuQ
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH6w2fL24f
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4JGtkMS3r
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZ28L3FNky
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJarM1UHuJt
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3ugiq9xlh
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60CNO3ptX8
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaViubrFtz
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtnC07FmGd
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueLSGoomxM
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5BCuWACns
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQc0kqBo4m
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTfvZ3WBtc
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThRHvKONru
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgtcTSYQUS
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qbSbOo8KA
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgRRDcrGUw
完。
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