尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15OFx5lpTs
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KGotFOxMp
「妳瘋了嗎？」525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNaLHkVdGG
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XvMw9Z6Kp
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6JHZvlrRN
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggMZqTRypz
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqE2ZNDkPax
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfxreWpBRx
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG63tgQX9z
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQomrDPnTK
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YK5ppbKxE
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG8SxVZfb4
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqjkGSOYNv
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FCYsQQMaR
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZCpFuscOm
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfaMJqaA45
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3BUtCcqf5
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg98rWfTOg4
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK7qZtdoKH
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeo9SA5LMZ
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhir7UnaiLv
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt2q4KAK0u
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaG8LSYm7d
站在樹下的人是英傑。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17dXNsLhdB
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1vkTzoTzE
我跑向他，勾住他的手。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKResvlkCf
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnea0VvwGnG
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqPIjhClcx
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRDhZ04obi
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmhqg37pWj
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66tixMuSRj
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE31BaaVJxK
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYDSk0YJEf
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb2QWxSDR0
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAz3ggaWCK
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxen3bcVIgj
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXWh3ScaJr
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfOSZgwfw7
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Jwyc5nLRK
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrgk3PblfG
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzZ6x4dSQB
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGqloCepXL
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9dgP5RJZe
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfpxIp3j92
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmqbGBFgfu
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pqZj6Bl02
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerk6qiDJpX
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9Gsh3yWdh
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax9SNSPUBz
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwAzxhR4Fr
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUUufS2vTD
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR3yFSQZgH
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHhZjCwN4N
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnokflgKpWi
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNOiKcrmai
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKwRBgbkXI
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplbga9nUhN
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuf8zwoSvR
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7LdetXXfB
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS4jFSC6UU
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdMTXKqCRI
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNRtGTMSog
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNn9vynFUi
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0DzwMn0B4
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzifNXHibn
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLraIlGpIy7
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIdlCLr6Y7
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbznSrrYsq
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZUiw6O5ob
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTc7VCt0O6
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKc8qdxIMfF
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tmc0PaNiq
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBbwY7BIHD
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcvMDvxa73
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgln7m0Fjs
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy5RV06agr
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdMHjq2ryg
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHn0VXs7uU
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8HH0CgYEf
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aCabWzOiX
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtXOh4UpbL
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNNkkgiGVo
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRLIMbrZnP
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzoiUDYWmn
在電視裡面。525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnYmKFw0hV
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKegY2szMyS
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtQqOHuTt1
525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNL4bTnY3YB
待續。
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