x
午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobUvtc24ew
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKAxeLOvja
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa5ZgdQQYC
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBViwP3XU5
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ESrvD7erx
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcRyJZtbDr
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvXPJNASXQ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM8cgRgFwQ
為何記住？我解釋不了。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjMWITWxWl
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRC5rTwRUe
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJviK7epHv
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGxEsNRi3h
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81GCR8Zldl
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCFsBAKWog
其中一個是他。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HNT7owgSK
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ROIwU4ggo
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpzTXypDo0
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eoV3zS0L1
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6HLB26FVj
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF8ESm4dET
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXyOSQU4KG
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2u329m31oD
「你遺下銀包。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM28RDn536m
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVj6Lmezwd
「謝謝。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt8IDG12PW
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV24TrywaOc
「不用客氣……」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqKYUoJlMA
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKiMhic3P3
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iousdoycH
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCuyvWVPoT
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUy83lD94P
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQajpUhc7iM
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8v9bUMu9PQ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4OfaG1A1l
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgHppRrYcf
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjosR8YEYdx
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwipwuDVaXB
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7hpbkqMrc
「我是文班許家偉。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijkS9vey2b
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNz9dNfM1N
「我是理班李浩榮。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA9hMmBt6S
其實我早已知道許家偉。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdF0AoBV4c
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5cVV0y8VX
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMFRXPkDTv
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9Ya8T2lJd
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6t0B1uPHQT
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPvJau6N1w
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyodjLVvnb
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhXKXmg6am
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0STpZxeuMY
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW24jvhHsM
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIdRwjg7yi
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BdgQL6cTC
不服氣。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0b9PAj6iMS
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdJhCI0LVN
繼續觀察他。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwceqY2hKPr
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJL4tn4AUiq
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFwNqfgCG4
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsGz10UW0n
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtehV1dLM8
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtUDPwvswO
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6I49ESnT9
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZNFucngoR
我急步追趕許家偉。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QHJ7AOKZE
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxWFuOHjOW
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjnBHvG2UV
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQ8q9PYujy
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37NNSl9tQK
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbUGpGMfdJ
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2xb4tCWiB
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrw08unoknE
「你遺下了銀包。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78IKx7TbJo
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dqVTRw4yc
「謝謝。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJIkFowfju
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSGR1pGP6N
「不用客氣……」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjiqgACvEP
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4OQLfru2q
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQxKSBdDEZ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHJe2rHSPd
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WAS6sZhXD
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqtqdaOfH5
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRH0OWLrWkL
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QsE8rXxUf
我望入他雙眼。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3otQmGjxWk
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtOmnoLiaU
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rL3BoDWWb
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kxZonuJVf
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuynYW8Y2CK
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rSDBsrc6H
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FFPijtJeU
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAk4OZHy9n
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU87dnvBIf
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FUhfjYqUL
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg6RsizxCi
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGS26rqd5V
「我是文班許家偉。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutFj20NG0o
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZNQbtVCv6
「我是理班李浩榮。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE98rkP2lPt
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdttYeKXYe
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1YAPGf04G
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNo1m9YGVrb
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zbE9c6RQh
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrPiNpKHYf
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48ASYejAVH
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2CcqQdW5F
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB93YCf6qO
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV65xyEFcT
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1XfQnzaZ4
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScLPnDFFzk
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h4poVyjBQ
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgqXR5uhEh
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2zEWxCgSO
但我沒有阻止他。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwnxeJUuG6
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTE7MLj6qM
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWycTjiss6
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbTitk11uD
我慫恿他繼續說下去。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrwCAVKtF9
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjGhVVzsWh
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3DMTHKBqo
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EkZJ6W0uh
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkebOZ9tC6R
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhql3DlGGH
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJRIpMrvhJ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QdumuamG3
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDfvP7Lljo
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObcoCNgyYq
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpac68N6YT
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZdr4Kkcko
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJRGZjWoA0
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3JTUevbc8
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauUmCwUlPX
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgmos8uOAj
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rlf884EK8
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ucoiu4WXg
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zjEef4dT8
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNZOm7PaK2
但我掛念他。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjof0Ubua1y
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IuB2pNIr5
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTBhHmcP19
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lUmndjAlW
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqg8fhWCie
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4swISKRLF
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylogiMcQxl
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSgNUlJUI6
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz3tavp3vL
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJnYw0TqB1
不要說。不要聽。不要見。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKU2POuNiS
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHJvzHkj4j
希望時間會沖淡一切。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQDe0sYx8I
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rcieqmBK9
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNViMFR2nN
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5DJu2jORq
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWah9HoCkfr
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8waXSBY9K
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeMxrs5sIq
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqF3ah8s0T
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4GfrHRKcO
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDYRXPzjUD
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqdZ5TBIWW
「我也不明白。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1jlLatHmZ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBe3votOk6C
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKfMwRKqyY
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw60xd1BnoG
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSk3mCikRK
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkn33WrBni
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqnhtWltj3
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4DH5Aqu8z
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaHnEZIc8s
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTC0yWIpySA
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg6rU4ON47
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomD0Mpq0uZ
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRgqQOvbCb
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ94dlwwyGr
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWMbodwSF7
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ1KvIIAnH
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lAg9nyyWN
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZsKwBgpqU
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJSgka5caU
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcoa6V5pIZ
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBi3PU30Fuq
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoBOLduqOy
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwJB9a7vSS
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlSXyUXSH4
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkactBd5Nrz
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4X3tjqbkP
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yjvFa6JZN
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXVuX2SfNY
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtashfMn8e
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXjJLv4Q9R
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5NZZCmbUT
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ258ua3WBFI
為何要走到這一步？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qqIZ1Urrg
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG26eRuzwoT
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmzPWq9fTx
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvp578CDeM
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAp8LgKKHL
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8j2auVQh4
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjs2jMIIWmw
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDjLDNeDBS
「別倔強。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC7GGyGtzL
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99SgLaGRFa
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRM0UulWDEl
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0MgxutArb
「我想你放棄。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uXGGUT1qS
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6weVr90c5D
「原因？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvEhUOUMbo
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytXngr6rB5
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9jxmQsEox
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8kZ7IWsVC
「我知道。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDZTzh89KO
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpkEpvcGX8
「何解還要繼續下去？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvyMmoVlzr
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81LCkd5CxJ
「感情易放難收。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUSNrTYh3y
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHrqRNvAJ2
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoso1vpaxB
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TKAvl8Vtg
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxc1d2ITiKS
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡio0YljVeJZ
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFB2NlJG9R
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglNuQ5UCMF
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VQ5ZM4a5H
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lrCTcVwzR
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0YaSCc0Wn
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqg2GZw6OG
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRsJ7k8dgE
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDa1wnfOWv
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrZXXsWaed
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqE1KPzwiV
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfPnFydsw9
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSmcNs2a81
小醉。半醉。大醉。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTniE9QppCL
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15xeEvNHHn
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpVHnkv9qu
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5okshDoUd
「直接講我愛他。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcL746CRva
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbpbttbouQ
「如果他拒絕？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2NgFGPAtp
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUU0K5ExRM
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqYZ0S10gt
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbNahHwwxx
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOULPz7Ovq
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrgoXA9scF
「我當然是高興！」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSzlCez5lL
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEctY24gjci
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVsdYyqsjm
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3EKDSar1L
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYG7x9hIn1
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRQLGbqJtk
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgH9Xdrrs7w
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPntlmCJGP3
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bTRA4zBVZ
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZEQzAtZCp
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89zgvEfOQE
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MsgKMuMGm
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm1soyXOXd
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYfOwDpb1O
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAkaloW5KM
「你仍然單身？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTkwKZ4FmC
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzBG3vBy2g
「是的。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtruy7omIl
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIqgCwWy79
「要我當媒嗎？」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdQU7We7EQ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyO5L03UNBF
「不了。難為情。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubRhXC6G0p
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCLbu24Nd1
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6A9JaleVa
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBP1B7ihK5a
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHzlPiqXyz
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOsJ7SPJjs
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF82cHRT3wu
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPvpaQls4s
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTNhl6iAo7
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFYrxv1N3E
回家吧。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WkGPXnr3i
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9PfBNZjGl
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomrQo2dXlR
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsIe40ii8z
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDTWnmvmB1
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRygfP5n7TJ
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbWaes7v55
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUNluY1vQE
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERrWuIYU8O
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhakKqOp7Tk
大概是一見鍾情吧。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIXWyfbeGJ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljuzaruG3E
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA8unDCjoy
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4kosfjF00
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX6JOcVS8e
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkiXmWpzuW
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcgGe39wIj
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iffWD37gw
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFm387xY08
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsdOm6tOlD
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwyd9hiV6J
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZtB9mKzcQ
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jJhNKTwvd
百感交集……595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6k2unDB4G
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WVi6PKunO
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aWvqIGN00
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTKVTONX1A
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjmaEvYulF
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBuJfyw1no
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcs2pFgCXx
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPOouprjhN
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRaQED4i93
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UjX0z3TpQ
「認得。你是文班的。」595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dDgth4OWh
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxYjzAUJHW
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPZvKYknBc
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTUiWWCJpd
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeos7OtToA
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbsztkFZ3K
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawmmuDgMDe
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKNTM7ABFS
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbOOYaC1Ag
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPADkVps0va
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LvKiFhR62
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QsHXnyh9V
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tliWV1uX1
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzD2S8sxKA
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxmAsYkVsx
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1ejoRKgG5
我哭笑不得。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tZS9RFqpg
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBbQsmPJ02
無意跟他繼續對話。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO93HdlJDO
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhuGuR7BlE
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOn3fR173j
595Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡng8QoIGiS1
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
