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根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVKKAcbwpF
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FhIRGRMqh
蠻有意思的名字。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZuuWfDr1u
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwJbgRgT9b
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEOzV9ucGI
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznIrude1aR
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5W6eqcjUBx
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FZ5AkAs0D
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTxH7GJZHT
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2WkHYmXxp
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7xPIKOiya
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MHdjHmmMj
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAr1NqK31LY
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWxgXIFMgL
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59jRcoLqzP
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNdteEjHhA
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXujt6IhofW
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyrKqci7NF
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxxUHRb6nu
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQmPSHyONV
「她有透露去處嗎？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9UDUeWp56
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5R9M55OG8K
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlaPLmA1Tl
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVPXBhSfh9
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnABR4197P
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBzeybovHJ
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7cdz2AXXl
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG04vmNfyvz
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6BVUMOsLy
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2r54HwJhgn
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRKF7Twuaj
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5n57AHki5
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte4WOw6PoG
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVvP1qeAhE
我只得坦白交代。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlvX25yke4
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowKcFVYhwn
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwxi8qVtg6
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScPzZVXYDe
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UWqQb2nHW
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJwR5zA6pu
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDYiMkgnpF
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL4MMftjEa
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyLrJHCuWY
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjyQq5nJzG
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsl0cLrfTz1
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJT49Mm4JW2
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zKvTBzY0n
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqL8oiXn8Pv
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlq4XcTBJZM
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvnblMRuHF
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z7JXkLLma
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75tjRwcnxf
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS2ubACdA1
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvoQL9azjb
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomlOWzoNUJ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOPpDND1zS
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHQyuqzniJ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cgFLZnswC
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uHz2hwQoy
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Uee8NtIaR
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uxZXvMlzz
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUxNBsAu0n
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYTQ4vuJE6
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmRm9DAWYO
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbXmtbeaIB
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKcU6GXNE6
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQTZQF1s7p
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sZE0R2Swc
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd10UXAFUSM
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVRzDFsuJV
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG3uzZOvGK
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡph3olJ3ScR
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrULFpkVnMD
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQlg2CjFdI
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyC3O3lKJTL
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsxggkMQlJ
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjraML1nFWV
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORR6uqAcYe
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zFIz0HhIv
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwiy0iCzr0
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjttZWHG2x
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJO8gOw2SC
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroRHEidOsi
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJaQJ2hask
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCy8CYkGwOs
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL30kxZmQGU
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTenBS3NsTt
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gsqniomcL
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO6GopAB7b
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQ0GKhcecN
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHaF1C1SFs
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOvKloS5re
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF01nwP9Sfc
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxpkTuqZ9i
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXxDuLmnUK
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyukbzs8i3p
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoC4O7IDt6
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87uFKin2at
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXhaxws0Kb
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDauA16GmDm
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nKo0nQ5g4
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfIgZajkxD
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvw3Hk0Drp
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIK6josihg
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlD7NiyhwRv
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntvjubkZRh
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwh4jU0x2Oj
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjhHpJqp3E
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
