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「這一句話，我會記上一輩子。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU00iEnb11
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh1kw9sjVQ
二十年前，我拋下這麼一句話，頭也不回，離開那個家。
某位於港島區的咖啡店內。淺啡木紋地磚和同調木紋膠板桌椅，配襯白色牆身和米黃色燈膽，輔以多個小盆栽和青色咕𠱸作點綴，簡潔得來帶有滿滿的溫馨。完全符合阿妹理想中「家」的形象。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEWv8GBBwG
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1AMcCpQtd
我們齊齊長大於日本文化盛行的年代，對日系風格情有獨鍾實屬在所難免。惟鍾愛歸鍾愛，我不禁在心裡吐糟眼前的芝士蛋糕：虛假的芝士味道和香氣，甜得發膩的化學甜，有如焦土的乾癟質地。怎麼可以如此難吃？538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7k6dQvoGq
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGa2Y5J1eql
「不喜歡？」阿妹冷道，沒望我一眼，逕自品嚐她的芝士蛋糕和朱古力咖啡。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXtrLHxJPJ
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ThTepNEZi
「嗯。」我放下叉子，放棄價值五十元的蛋糕，暗嘆浪費。我寧可花同樣價錢，去茶餐廳吃鹹魚雞粒炒飯。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx97IhIjkW
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfk7c3j2bp
「這是區內最有名氣的芝士蛋糕。」阿妹對我的口味不以為然。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCIm1T5kgf
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqbeyT9k0x
「以『難吃』見稱嗎？」我冷嘲，惹得鄰桌的情侣竊笑。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBB2VB5PHu
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6aVNzT5nj
阿妹面色玄青，無視我，低頭享用她的下午茶。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJr2GNIJdI
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAt16FKZv0
我沒趣地拿出手提電話消磨時間，目光時而在通訊軟件上遊走，時而偷瞄對座的阿妹。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV2zX2nvyg
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhcmAM7G5x
我倆之間，是一張深度六百毫米的枱，也是二十年的空白。見面之前，我記憶中的阿妹是個廿三歲大學畢業生，純真無邪，略懂打扮；碰面當刻，舊印象驟然消失，獨一無二的阿妹變成充斥中環的普通辦公室女郎。微卷深啡長髮，濃妝豔抹，粉綠色及膝連身裙，純白色短袖小外套，三吋高跟鞋。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EpweSTSPi
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdB0LQ3o7QQ
曾幾何時，我深信自己會跟阿妹一樣，成為打扮斯文的辦公室女郎。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRfkDdFo82
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3iqQKwt5W
我的思緒飄到遙遠的平行世界去，直至阿妹放下叉子：「走吧。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7qEqkl0Ax
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6rPglA0yi
截下的士，我們直驅醫院去。車廂中，又是令人窒息的沉默。我從倒後鏡瞥望阿妹。她托著下巴，似是對著窗外景物發呆，亦似是從玻璃車廂的模糊倒影觀察我。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI01T082cj
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJQRH06TGu
「待會兒，態度必須要溫和。」阿妹的口吻帶有「命令」的味道。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCKOLV4nvh
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL89eMtBL5G
「盡量。」我是個直腸直肚的人。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZxqpABJGW
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KSCvvrPmA
「難道你沒能大發慈悲，讓媽咪『離開』得安詳？」她略略加強語氣。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPsZuC0viR
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwdsEeK0E4
「所以我沒有拒絕，而是答『盡量』！」我強抑怒火：「你不是不知道她的嘴巴就是不饒人！難道我要盲目啞忍所有過份要求？」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7BV7MNhwS
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBNhQN08AG
「那天以後，她性格大變，嘴巴再也硬不起來。」阿妹神色放軟。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWVqSjFL1W
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl7NQqr3K8
我沒駁斥，任由沉默張牙舞爪。
進入私人病房前，阿妹從手袋拿出一個小紙袋，塞到我手裡：「給媽咪的小禮物，佯稱是你買的。」沒待我答允，她已推門內進，不讓我有拒絕的機會。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFjaym4dNU
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBiSJxHbIf
病床上的媽咪，戴著頸箍，缺了左腿，全身插滿連接儀器的喉管。床頭櫃有熱水壼和膠杯，櫃側有一灰色的膠椅，椅上有她最鍾愛的墨綠色的毛衣。出乎意料，毛衣多年以來仍忠實地守候在她身邊，活像她幻想出來的完美女兒。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6xRNxmUCE
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dAfO9uhTo
「送你的。」根據阿妹的指示，我奉上紙袋。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVxQcMKrB9
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKpcxPxAgx
媽咪的頭動不了，眼皮使力地開開合合，眼珠子艱難地轉動著，幾經辛苦才成功對焦，看見我。眼淚暴瀉，雙唇微顫，千言萬語卻離不開齒間。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOj0ipIvvw
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnu1vzzbVy4
「喚媽咪吧。」阿妹怒目相向，恨我的狠。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7CDSXfno3
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLa8e1WQS4K
縱先前對媽咪的病情略知一二，惟在此情此境，我竟反應不來，原地愣住。喜怒憂懼愛憎欲，好比混在一起的彩砂，沒能再分開。粒粒彩砂本來顏色鮮明，在此刻偏偏成了惹人眼花撩亂的雜訊，佔據每吋視線，令我看不清楚自己的心意。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHC5MEtn93
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeRnkiQuWl
「媽……咪……」我耗盡力氣，千辛萬苦才擠出兩粒字。不情不願，因為找不到自己的位置；心甘情願，因為這是最後的聚頭，該盡力讓事情有個不差勁的結局，算是清還她的養育之恩。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY46aa5dorr
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TzW4o37xn
阿妹招招手，要我湊近媽咪，讓她看清楚多年不見的女兒。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zGy2NvAAr
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7lFniiw9I
一絲抗拒掠過。我沒打算捕捉它，隨它消逝。我的手腳開始沒那麼生硬，乖乖依從阿妹的指令，走近床邊。阿妹要我給媽咪奉水，我照辦如儀。阿妹要我為媽咪披上毛衣，好，沒問題……不知底蘊的人看見「母慈女孝」的畫面，定會誤會我仨關係良好，感情深厚。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHr0IJfCk6c
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKPBBiYHx2
整個探訪過程，媽咪沒能吐出片言隻字：她的喉嚨受惡菌感染，非但沒能進食固體食物，甚至失去語言能力。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkxIad5tr5
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWSmoHiJ0l
不得不承認，我賤格。表面和藹謙恭，底裡毒如蛇蠍。我幻想，如果二十年前的媽咪已失去語言能力，我會否仍生活在這個家，是個千依百順的好女兒？538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvg6PwYtpX
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJclgDrys3
兩小時後，媽咪倦極入睡。阿妹要我先離開病房，在門外等候她。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1V2ACX9ikU
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzXpIkD66D
甫踏出房門，我與阿姨碰個正著。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ipOgKsyPU
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF6Vp5xbal
死八婆！若非她當年在旁煽風點火，我和家人的關係未必會破裂收場。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR47bFryk3
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfjDVZVj0R
「我就是知道你會來。」阿姨擺出料事如神的姿態，以冷峻目光掃視我全身：「很缺錢吧？」講完莫名其妙的一句後，她掏出一張支票予我。「你的報酬。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLDVXc4DIR
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmMQxXEIM6
我沒有立即接下，思疑她在打甚麼鬼主意。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUAkwAITr2
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjkPQJnPI5
湊巧，阿妹從病房出來，看見我和阿姨在門口僵持，立即上前解釋事情因由：「我沒有告訴她關於支票的事。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmHDXS4jin
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDjBktHt8f
「你的意思……她不是為錢而來？」阿姨拿著支票的手緩緩垂下。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTHvyh9ZeO
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2eGW3mJ9k
「嗯。」受壓於阿姨的強勢，適才不慍不火的阿妹怯怯點頭。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHll7seIGd
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDUMNXZHYl
「那麼……」阿姨猶豫了半晌，最終還是決定將猜忌放進問題裡。「你為何而來？」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArTQa5Ufba
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkY7jTYYbQS
「出於對老人家的憐憫和惻隱。」我胡謅，強裝正氣凜然。其實我未曾細想自己為何而來。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNZQ4OFYrw
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOX2cQKFOA
「很好。可以省掉。」阿姨有意無意地將支票在我面前晃來晃去。逗狗似的。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTFVcK19ui
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv4X8LkuNp
「如果沒有別的要事，我先離開。」我選擇了忍耐。
醫院外的大路上，人不多，三三兩兩的。探病的、求醫的、久病初癒的、迴光反照的。我屬於哪種？該是「半死不活的」：情況沒有差得要死，卻怎也活得不好。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGg7twWelv
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaYLTTKnCl
缺錢？工作不順利？與丈夫婚姻不和諧？與子女有代溝？統統不是。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW4ScJ7Uzw
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXdWWoTwfl
僅是純粹的不快樂，若有所失。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbxUfbJifu
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVH0XQJpVm
每當我感到幸福時，記憶就會成為粘粘的漿糊，將我黏在內心的缺口上。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvka5QjW995
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA2S8BBQUe
「等……我……」阿妹的聲音從後傳來。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8wkpNTgbL
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7hC2P3Jy4
我佯裝聽不見，加快腳步，務求撇下腳踏三吋高跟鞋的她。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwTVpbwnmC
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYemLm42nC
「家姐！」豈料阿妹不顧儀態，高呼大叫，吸引途人們的目光。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ss3z4u798
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCRFfKfKCs
我的雙腳不自已停下來。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCf0muvxpTJ
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftqDu7LiZ9
不消十秒，氣喘如牛的阿妹跑到我身邊來：「謀……殺……嗎？」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5e7ozW8wN
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SoNPeXxIf
我鐵著臉，沒意欲跟她開玩笑。「那張支票，是誰的主意？」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGtiWvaL80
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAMpQ5MTgG
「媽咪。」阿妹不敢正視我雙眼：「她覺得你會拒絕到來。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelJFeCSTDL
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIojCL5ZooV
「你們仍舊認為我是嫌棄家境窮困而離開嗎？」我本不欲重提舊話，奈何我忍不住要再次辯解。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX90Cbh2iG
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGlZJY8MSJ
「我們想不到其他原因。」阿妹的答案隱含委屈。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cKl2UBzJP
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAwHOEeyA8
「我從不認為我們家境窮困。」我氣得開步走。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgpO9BfQ01
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0zFDXmOvD
阿妹連忙拉住我的衣袖，轉換話題：「有興趣跟我和阿姨吃晚餐嗎？我們會與你討論遺產事宜。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDOt1bccYm
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmExYqOkqt
「沒有。」我乾脆利落地拒絕。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Yd2fxIeNu
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklEjy5cJTS
「僅僅一頓便飯而已。」阿妹屢敗屢試。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AXpFv4nuF
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wtKxyrzcH
「不了。」我稍稍施力甩開她的手。「你倆把錢分掉吧。無需通知我。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIW0PGNpQm
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNG9x2ZSg5A
「我會轉告阿姨。」世故的阿妹知道我在顧忌誰。「但你可以和我一起晚餐嗎？只是我跟你！」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLc1yXUAFmJ
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFReWzguxYQ
我意識到這是她最後一次的邀約，再也講不出拒絕的說話，迷迷糊糊地與她並肩而行，行到醫院附近的咖啡店。她為我點了抹茶蛋糕和朱古力砂冰，聽聞是鎮店之寶。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHBjiJ6Sxx
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr2W0aDXAe
我嚐了一口。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOwfUN3pMj
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB9VpG7Kek
甜得要命。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSLvrQ5EjM
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsmjh4Hn1M
「你是否不再喜歡吃甜品？」阿妹從我的難受表情找到端倪。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQ3QbdnnLg
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWPUBiqHSH
我傻傻點頭，驀然記起自己曾經是個無甜不歡的傢伙，對咖啡店的精緻甜品更是愛不釋手。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGwySTv3Kw
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEq5fPwmBXR
「我對你的印象停留在二十年前。」阿妹眼裡盡是懷緬。「溫柔的、膽小的、笨笨的家姐。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwvx6eJWTU
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68qZl0TbEU
「我自問從不是溫柔的傢伙，純粹是害怕開罪別人而假裝溫柔；我不是膽小的，至少我比你更有離家出走的勇氣；我不是笨笨的，起碼我有能力比你更先離開。」我努力提起叉子，再嚐一口蛋糕。很難吃。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH92g58XdP
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECIVYfIXwK
「難怪你要走。」阿妹噗嗤假笑，表情苦澀得複雜。「我們自以為了解你、明白你，不明白何以你最後竟捨棄我們……」她那握叉的手重覆戳向蛋糕，直至它成漿成糊。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kbrZK82jQ
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy83kjOj8xz
「其實我也不了解你們。至少，我沒有想過你們會利誘我來探望媽咪。」我苦笑搖頭：「我理解他們何以會不明所以。」由始至終，我在意的人只有阿妹。「你呢？你比他們更了解我的處境！別以為我不知道你當時同樣想走！」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOgjaO93yX
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEX2QwgxrLM
「你終於承認當時是知道我的想法！」被我戳到痛處，阿妹失儀地將叉子擲在碟上。金屬叉子碰瓷碟，有如我的話碰她的心，發出響亮而清脆的碰擊聲。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLbdAjUfvV
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgaROPxjsH
「為何你不帶我走？我日盼夜盼，盼望你會聯絡我，帶我走。在意識到你不會帶我走時，我又開始催眠自己，說你遇到意外，說你被壞朋友騙了，說你尚未安頓下來……我不知道該要怎麼辦！538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZnaSFFsQn
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcHzu7L3yL
我有很多很多問號！538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8si1vJthN
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7wjKQKhOC
我不明白你的想法！我不清楚自己在你心目中的位置！我不明白為何我要為你編作解釋！我不明白為何我信任的人會拋棄我！我不肯定自己能否負擔起整個家！明明是我倆的共同責任，為何我要獨自承受？」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPptIHxdqOG
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OsXy8VNET
「因為你是壓垮我的最後一根稻草。」思緒千迴百轉，最終我決定長話短說，淡然將描述她揮金如土的萬字怨言吞回肚子去。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgxVUZc3qe
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcIV3f3Ycj
霎時間，阿妹答不上話，直視我雙眸，似是觀察我的表情，希望能夠從中找出一絲歉疚，亦似是在乞求我大開金口，施捨半句道歉話。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡti9FzlgjDr
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRru3YlOYIW
可惜，我沒打算繼續在她的生命裡留下甚麼。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTkcreo1Vx
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOORJrUHsKj
「算了吧。」為打圓場，阿妹選擇口不對心：「反正我們以後不會見面，不需要執著彼此。」若果她真的能夠放下執著，適才就沒能細數她的痛苦點滴。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpUiHifTsM
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUG5m5t78hL
「是的。」我釋懷一笑，放下叉，不再勉強自己清掉碟上的蛋糕。
用餐過後，我和阿妹公式化地道別，從此分道揚鑣。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡux6BzjSlej
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1aMzi7470
我看看手錶，晚上十時許。路人不多，疏疏落落的。黃光路燈斜照著路人們，照出多個長腿叔叔。故事中的長腿叔叔是個擁有美滿人生的紳士，現實中的我們卻是破碎殘缺的獨立個體。東一塊，西一塊，難以湊成一個家。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNYuUqqq0R
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpryoVzhSG
需要感到遺憾嗎？無需要。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LIaj5qqLR
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX1M0sNzHQ
曾有感到遺憾嗎？曾有。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTG27m04PO
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHU0CLqxpm8
會繼續感到遺憾嗎？不會。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUj051lha1
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg74wyCXr3r
我慢步走向鐵路站。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79QIMSCGRP
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPghPi65bdT
慢慢的，慢慢的，有如二十年歲月一樣慢。漫長的二十年裡，我一步一步走過來，無數次踏在內心的缺口上。自以為腳掌會感受到缺口的虛空與不平，自以為低頭就會看見缺口的廣闊與無邊，自以為缺口會永遠存在。殊不知缺口已在不知不覺間被時間撫平。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPq4pNjLSr
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkDtzUKXNe
剛才我不是故意將不快記憶輕描淡寫，而是無論我怎麼努力去回想，所有細節都經已模糊不堪。最清晰的，只有我當年留下的那句話。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QCao5I4Is
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtD3seq6W7
「這一句話，我會記上一輩子。」538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lIwsAB5ii
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m66eQDusv
簡單的十一個字，濃縮了多年的壓抑和不滿，是負面情緒的頂點。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcUsbHpERG
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOykVDlU1W
說話離開了唇角，繃緊的情緒失去支撐物，慢慢紓緩下來。由最無關痛癢的，至最為要緊的，一點一滴隨年月悄悄消逝。我忘記了誰講出讓我記上一輩子的說話，忘記了對話的內容，忘記了對話的前因……取而代之的，是能夠被握在手心的現在和能夠被觀望的將來。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE3evW6RD5
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliyTiv8BqD
我倏忽停下腳步，換個方向，走到便利店，買了罐冰凍啤酒。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPLMqXmowM
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqsoCzhukS
為何仍清楚記得那份恨意？538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBh9ns8HB8A
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkg7qCAYP2
我知道答案。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyztfPvKjj
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9jgRdddtk
答案像啤酒。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAMBD84Xle
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpbLo06t2x
啤酒不是必需品，但我習慣在心情欠佳時喝啤酒。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2oha3W5cD
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BJ3LycnGi
那份恨意不是必須存在，但我習慣了它的存在，習慣用它去概括描述我離家出走前的人生。久而久之，那份恨意就成了那段日子的代名詞。那段日子只有恨意，沒有願望，沒有七情，沒有喜好，遑論快樂。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPJaheGKd7
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRATUDmenMr
我將啤酒一飲而盡。空空如也的啤酒罐精準地落入垃圾桶裡。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkZFeEH7w1
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWCPEnI9p7
若果我可以同樣將記恨習慣拋入垃圾桶，該多好！538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZecoBttJ09
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6SOILNH6i
不要緊。給我二十一天，戒掉壞習慣。538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJqQWQorMr
538Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevuOKRKcWV
我保證，往後滴酒不沾，吋恨不記。
