
我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。484Please respect copyright.PENANAcKZEFkV2uc
484Please respect copyright.PENANAe1ZYfcGqs8
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。484Please respect copyright.PENANAKEQNTkNKjQ
484Please respect copyright.PENANAPCRPM15mB6
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。484Please respect copyright.PENANAqwk3qjGZS0
484Please respect copyright.PENANAvAYpsHhRG8
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。484Please respect copyright.PENANAHSz92S7QfE
484Please respect copyright.PENANAkhTy8I1sah
壓力似乎一併消散。484Please respect copyright.PENANAFkcYRMCKuQ
484Please respect copyright.PENANAEnKjdS4oWj
茶盡。我再續杯。484Please respect copyright.PENANAVMSgv0mvGI
484Please respect copyright.PENANAypORKwEZwm
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。484Please respect copyright.PENANABsP3Zs3D41
484Please respect copyright.PENANAhUzpuPmy8H
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。484Please respect copyright.PENANAZMj7JUcWWV
484Please respect copyright.PENANAkILazYPmeg
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。484Please respect copyright.PENANAesRCG418Si
484Please respect copyright.PENANAJO9VDsqILW
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。484Please respect copyright.PENANAI34RPKBvxB
484Please respect copyright.PENANAn5EphE9EMJ
夢醒一場空。484Please respect copyright.PENANAMUb7fifG8j
484Please respect copyright.PENANALnbBL2ivJL
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。484Please respect copyright.PENANAhE9yLzZd9Z
484Please respect copyright.PENANAwPNZfeiV9c
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……484Please respect copyright.PENANAr9VREGTt8r
484Please respect copyright.PENANAytICC2ezFv
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。484Please respect copyright.PENANAtORdOrfjPO
484Please respect copyright.PENANAzjapz9RDUj
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。484Please respect copyright.PENANAgI20SiKgSw
484Please respect copyright.PENANAmoev9g5WF2
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。484Please respect copyright.PENANABOwZG8JGeY
484Please respect copyright.PENANA8AAAEixFcR
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。484Please respect copyright.PENANAAXXBcJUilH
484Please respect copyright.PENANAnSVRgqgVKe
我沾沾自喜。484Please respect copyright.PENANApOMPovuS9a
484Please respect copyright.PENANAseVSt4dtT9
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。484Please respect copyright.PENANAkndKH7N6HY
484Please respect copyright.PENANAtgxFqelVA4
但我沒有向同學們坦白。484Please respect copyright.PENANA3XfkBIbrRG
484Please respect copyright.PENANATuzLrktv7W
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。484Please respect copyright.PENANAER6Mtuxtc5
484Please respect copyright.PENANAoPEBP48g4w
努力,努力,努力。484Please respect copyright.PENANA7PMgO2h5T6
484Please respect copyright.PENANA6HcN3oz4ST
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。484Please respect copyright.PENANAr3W9AaZHwI
484Please respect copyright.PENANA21okTRrZLJ
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。484Please respect copyright.PENANAD3vRGLTlBC
484Please respect copyright.PENANAeSKtI0pn4Q
以為。484Please respect copyright.PENANA80jQG1uIMU
484Please respect copyright.PENANAwrFCmxvcmg
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。484Please respect copyright.PENANA7wr7R72NE8
484Please respect copyright.PENANA7wsZyo0vXS
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。484Please respect copyright.PENANAsEKg9Lp7nv
484Please respect copyright.PENANAV0Pm0RbvUV
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!484Please respect copyright.PENANAsMncZQmAnT
484Please respect copyright.PENANA2pvVmTkJ3m
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。484Please respect copyright.PENANA02R9aFRqeK
484Please respect copyright.PENANASO03wq9ZX8
我的作品感動了我。484Please respect copyright.PENANADDqrfuMzLK
484Please respect copyright.PENANAHXc1fjbIAI
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。484Please respect copyright.PENANAFjqv6WnyF0
484Please respect copyright.PENANA13EtAb0eUj
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。484Please respect copyright.PENANAVlJq2TpZ1T
484Please respect copyright.PENANANdMJaEfA4Z
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。484Please respect copyright.PENANAeXJKBvwSMm
484Please respect copyright.PENANA1CmDKdNbku
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……484Please respect copyright.PENANA3UWspuf8GF
484Please respect copyright.PENANAvDMFeIrJd2
熱茶又涼了。484Please respect copyright.PENANA0x8F4RmH50
484Please respect copyright.PENANAx742X9eif3
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。484Please respect copyright.PENANAPIW4bJ5ywV
484Please respect copyright.PENANAMnOIb3GrgE
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。484Please respect copyright.PENANAc3TyKGh08w
484Please respect copyright.PENANA4RoI2iBI1B
我的作品只感動了我。484Please respect copyright.PENANAifl7Kez1Qe
484Please respect copyright.PENANAp6QAFSBnUM
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。484Please respect copyright.PENANAa6vCvZVwnn