但現實是這樣又如何?1062Please respect copyright.PENANA202aeWukve
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAEuTZhd0tEr
沒法理解,沒法接受。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA6MyBuY6Qgr
1062Please respect copyright.PENANArXYnvLLksX
童桐變了,已經不再是我小時候認識的那個她。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAD20dIMpBr4
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAVFmIjkCCcs
但現實對我來說,過於…難以理解。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAmSboM7iFse
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAQFXBPFJYqR
她甚至連一個苦衷也不編,一個謊也不撒。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAMTR0qeVcj8
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAaMmN1PH3Um
要該高興嗎,還是要哭?我曾經視她如宗教一樣的存在,現在卻。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5l1sqxlUz
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAy91EU20mLW
現在卻。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA7VkBgrzu8M
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAIUgMBwMw6t
感覺最近情緒上的衝擊,我已沒法作出正確的反應,腦海被攪成一團糊糨。我掩著臉搖著頭,恍如因射箭而滿是厚繭的雙手,能為我提供一個避風港。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAM1n7sfZNj3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAMP0EIhzOjL
因為我的避風巷已經毀了。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAzn1yV0KQ60
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA5McfoF4BOm
因為我的童年…1062Please respect copyright.PENANA9nvbOHkDwB
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAOT1LyrKIK8
…真真正正的,結束了。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAZhOhrK8Bpy
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAkBj8JZp7IM
「呀遊,我地都有唔想俾任何人見到既一面…我相信你都有。」童桐說,「但即使係咁…我都會接受,呀遊,因為由所有面向組成既…先係完整既你。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANASYgZm90Vce
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA3Dqrypk5m2
甚麼是好人,甚麼是壞人?1062Please respect copyright.PENANAOOSD7G1fWq
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAY28gGYaEJY
壞人在自己的故事中,也是一個英雄。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAzbWlGvdR0J
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAts8cOUTFFJ
捐錢幫助窮人的慈善家,也有人視之為資本主義中的剝削者。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAwiS1Gbv5jq
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAnVozIKaQ6t
不用說到這樣宏大,我媽也不是沒被人說過HR死全家,我爸把釣到的魚放上網和人分享也被動保主義者說血腥屠夫。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAdRSOgkYIjO
1062Please respect copyright.PENANABQDaA23Qe5
但對我來說,二人都是父母,是家人。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAWpFoEa3Fkx
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAwOsjmnL4dn
不同人對於不同人來說,可以同時是好人,同時亦是壞人。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA4xMBeVKDgu
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAlqBIbMoPTK
…但當距離親近如我和童桐這樣,所有面向便互相嵌鑲成一個完整的存在,並非一個單獨面向。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAbMLbjVoIfO
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAW6RHBcfr4A
愛慕她的好。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAOIzgcYN5zh
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA7x9KGQv5aP
便要接受她的壞。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAYoiq7vjZEf
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAMTsGr5E0Gb
我竟然天真的曾經以為童桐只有好的那一面,如甚麼完美的聖女。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAWJQJWx3pil
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAC76AYA4laf
現在殘酷而赤裸裸的事實放在眼前,至於接受與否便是我們的課題了。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAexskuGaxVP
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAAcbLcE8JuL
即使我和童桐身上都穿著衣服,但卻比起過往十多年來任何時候還要更加赤裸,更加坦誠相見。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAPtlCCbGKrh
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAcOZzGuUu0M
「你肯定?」我冷冷地說。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAxcWdwYXF9E
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAMDJcBdqLnb
她還不知道我幹了甚麼。1062Please respect copyright.PENANACxVVPwHlQ3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANANThmstjjhd
她還不知道我曾經打算幹甚麼。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAnhkPWERMnw
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA8nZBd2b8kF
「…嗯。」她說,「我,我又有咩資格話你?無論你做過咩都好…」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAo0qaFIFvUG
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA8Hz9ZJi6GY
童桐雙眼發光,好像在淹水中捉到了救生圈一樣。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAx6yoe7FNMi
1062Please respect copyright.PENANArFyyvVMzaR
「所以你覺得如果我都有一個黑暗面,一個黑化版既呀遊,我就同你一樣自私,同你一樣有唔見得光既一面,所以我地就平起平座,我就應該接受你,然後可以如以前一樣?」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAZrL5WsXr6u
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAJz2ZpYL94s
「…唔係咁…」卻被我看穿了。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAtm08ZD4oeO
1062Please respect copyright.PENANABO3snKwfHa
「定係我咁講正合你意,咁樣你內心會舒服D,因為自甘墜落既人唔止你一個?」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAAveSlDwzQA
1062Please respect copyright.PENANALg6G1Pmzq5
「唔係咁,唔係咁唔係咁,呀遊,唔好咁講,求下你…」童桐哭著說。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA7ff0Rygd0W
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAoOmRZzaqkb
「…童桐,我地永遠都唔可能好似以前一樣。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANA0xqL3v2kL5
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAxDkwRQAsVE
然後,我推開了她。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA5dTQ0I319X
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA84mMjP3Q81
史無前例地,我推開了正準近我,打算向我撒嬌的童桐。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA3fQX7Rv2Xb
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAUCCjS5gacX
「……」她露出寂寞的眼神。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAk32pBALb6u
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAQtpzf9ALUJ
「你講得岩,我都有另一面,我都有做過D唔想俾你知既事。」我低頭說,「但…我好亂,我唔知,我唔知點樣面對你,同你一樣。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANA7EXU4JcHfV
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAaRLkkBjyaL
「邊個會無?我鐘意你,即使你有咩秘密都好我都一定會…」童桐說。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA6Dzw1pmtqA
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAuOwOTSiPhY
「我係你就唔會咁講。」我苦笑。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAco2MGucAqm
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA0nXUsFRdTn
「係…?」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAJioym6oHOa
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAaczQEO7Xac
「我個時都咁講過,我話無論你做過咩,有咩秘密我都會接受到…然後我個心就碎左。」我輕撫自己的胸口。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAp0DJj1JVZ3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAhshqt7E1lp
愈是鐘愛於幻象,現實就更加殘酷。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3p0jn5Kq8
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAKuaMMVoiJJ
夢中愈是甘甜,現實便愈見苦澀。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAmIC5bvyqvX
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAKG9OPifPVy
「我唔信,呀遊你唔同我,你係個好人…」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAqyAe2Fks2X
1062Please respect copyright.PENANADFEKSFDtqt
「我先唔係。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANA9IybRreSbY
1062Please respect copyright.PENANANd6Sg0xeAV
我早就不是甚麼好人。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAFJl4DeZjw8
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAMHcNUA0mtR
從明明連人家名字還沒記住便去追求人家,胡亂表白開始,到之後的事。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA8bbvjC98tH
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAjmUsK4eNdS
我才不是「除了射箭甚麼也不會」的人。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAdRMHZtjYNB
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAC7TdodX5XC
「咁你講出黎。」她說,「我寧願你親口講,都唔想某日自己發現。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANArl4lGKffVQ
1062Please respect copyright.PENANApo3tDdtBzo
「……」1062Please respect copyright.PENANA7c4z62a99k
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAqvDl1IQG4H
是我害得植嵐晨自殺。1062Please respect copyright.PENANALBhRXzO4ib
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAd371oz1ifG
那天我差點按下了清理瀏覽記錄而間接害死他。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAjjKzQPDxBF
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAsgXJUKL5Ww
為了勝利我打算吃禁藥。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAyGC5hER4BV
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAACUiFsYynr
我和妍妍有了肉體關係,但沒打算負責任。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAIWOdSzgP4V
1062Please respect copyright.PENANATySKBNE8hy
當天第一次妍妍出現在水上樂園是,其實是PTGF。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAcn2x0Rkjr8
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAT92oNfenEv
中學時那連串的表白行為,其中一些我可是明知有男朋友也照去馬。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAq0utQ0YHRL
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAkWcUcfGTjQ
……那年我打算過自殺,甚至已經完成了氦氣袋的試作型。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAHtEwRszJBu
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAmpbkGIPFMD
「呀遊,我地大家今晚都互相坦白喇…然後睇下點樣互相接受到對方,好唔好?我唔想無左你呢個青梅竹馬,無論做唔做到情侶都好。」童桐說。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA1HDpNAgkXJ
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA5vVbaZ5odi
「我諗…今晚我地都攰。」我說,「我求其煮個公仔麵就返過去。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAzfkwgRW0lG
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAeB6xlcOsPj
「呀遊…」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAV7WVjGYBU3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAFmC1sCv1ag
「我會講。」我說,「只係…唔係今晚,我要,童桐,對唔住,我…做唔到…我好攰,我好撚亂呀,你明唔明呀。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAKv8OMAHuzh
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAGJLP3dHIZo
我試圖以過去的眼光看待她。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA8HzP6ukVRd
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAEKmaGyF0F3
做不到。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAAqt4TNwLRD
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAIeldpVikZT
我試圖向她坦白自己做過的一切。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAzJ088SimVr
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAlyFTrWAqC6
做不到。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAxteYIXrjZm
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAYO9DJhQiBH
既然我知道了她的真面目後這樣激動,這樣看待她,反過來…其實也一樣吧。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAhBjvhe5RIo
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAuiDGkxoqd7
只是現在是我在暗,她在明,她才這樣向我告解一樣。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA8Nrb2mNT6r
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1ZZBN1UA4
下午離開Beta那兒之前,他幫我設定了一個倒數計時,現在距離核彈爆炸只剩下167小時。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAK0DtsN3Ugh
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAlAQYfmweq0
我沒有高童桐一等,更別說是道德高地。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAAHkkaCmCT8
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAhhnyuIUyIV
所以我也沒法狠狠罵她一頓,然後說要帶她回正途,連這樣子我也做不到,這才是現在一切膠著,一切如陷五里霧中的原因。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAcGOmM0CtqS
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAE8ubfYMZy9
既,沒法坦白。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAVS9qqXKHo8
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAF02psEHAlX
又,沒法斥責。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAXIIJQWyIhy
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAW5dg8VmBqk
既,沒法接受。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAsSLkJ6OUUq
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAdKWJxi1qWX
也,沒法忘記。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA8yCHPoPPf3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA3Fv86EhVct
而且…也沒法理解。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAkSmoJaQdur
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAY8eqcgvSGn
明明妍妍叫我不用在意她,去處理和童桐之間的事,結果卻變成了這樣子。1062Please respect copyright.PENANALotlAFVjZJ
1062Please respect copyright.PENANArJmODrTYXv
反倒有點對不起她了呢,我這爛人。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAZm8ZLG7Eli
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAIUoKlsuSPM
我轉身胡亂地擦去眼淚,以免自己在童桐面前出醜。但這時背上傳來陣陣的溫暖,陣陣的柔軟,童桐從後抱住我,把頭靠到我背脊上,用耳朵貼住我的肌肉聆聽著我的心跳。1062Please respect copyright.PENANARGVGHIHPpv
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA3b5pFteC38
「只要你係我身邊,你要嬲我幾耐都無所謂。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAugzgJ8QGDX
1062Please respect copyright.PENANANpmOQPYJFY
「……」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAbInTtosVJl
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAI2KMZcBjjG
「因為我地都應承過大家,嬲幾耐都好,最後都會搵返對方,唔準絕交,唔準永遠唔彩對方落去架嘛。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANARz1gJgwMlz
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAVFAgn7x8lN
她能聽到我的脈動,反之亦然。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAH5jIRQFaDR
1062Please respect copyright.PENANARGuKAYvkdi
我雖然沒法直接聽到,但我感受著童桐的每一下呼吸,每一下心跳,胸膛的每一起伏。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAbUD0Ep9l52
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAYSB6g7vL6A
「只要你無事就好,我個晚真係好驚。」童桐說。1062Please respect copyright.PENANANlcqPITkBx
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA04kA12lnGq
「嗯,我都睇到係你救左我。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANACjyB1bVhYj
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAVFvGBHbtsg
「但即係係咁…即使你會討厭我,即使你個下已經知道左我係Dora,我唔知點面對你…我都唔想你有事。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANAJQfaiXxHTh
1062Please respect copyright.PENANASd4aFmE5nh
曾經她只求唯有我別討厭她。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAfvsB6XY130
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAvdB3F4NsF8
曾經她即使全世界討厭她也不怕,因為有我在她身邊。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAl6ISRjDRhG
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA5nGbYyKglc
…現在即使連我也討厭她,她也只想我安全健康。1062Please respect copyright.PENANA5ONyQpvMUJ
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA4A4DVvLLKF
你叫我怎樣對你生氣,童桐。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2j6HicLqd
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAfWgzWt03jV
「我…好多謝你,童桐。」我說,的確是她救了我。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAej90ABcaWG
1062Please respect copyright.PENANABX3IVJnjjV
「…到你覺得可以講既時候,就同我講。」童桐說,「我地只要互相坦白,然後互相再接受,互相理解對方,一定可以捱過呢一關。」1062Please respect copyright.PENANATmZec7RhB2
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA6HfnUh7xt4
咦?1062Please respect copyright.PENANAkyJ2pCGu3n
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAKIK1wpZ8LI
腦中如一道清泉流過…我覺得這就是我和童桐最大的差異之處。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAa1wwDjpUJT
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8iXanggOe
「接受與否」,是我的想法。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAQOGi7RS4p0
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA6CM3MJVW8l
「如何接受」,是童桐的想法。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAUqzm5ecLFD
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3Vc3JKX4M
那天晚上我和童桐沒有得出任何答案,甚至說沒有任何進展。1062Please respect copyright.PENANABp9kxiWksv
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA81Dr8COJrJ
她甚至沒有提出我希望中的苦衷,使我可以諒解的苦衷,只能得出「性格使然」的絕望答案。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAs9cvrSWLc3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAoRCKPiKWQS
老實說,場面比我想像中平靜,至少我們沒有向對方咆哮或痛哭。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAHAcY3GWhs3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAAFdcHECvka
但是…無力感漸漸佔據了空氣,佔據了心底,連情緒該發洩向何處也沒有著力點。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAPzGO1SmSFb
1062Please respect copyright.PENANATSyFi9oWDv
我寧願和她痛痛快快吵一架,也不想這樣子…1062Please respect copyright.PENANAlzD4gBvi70
1062Please respect copyright.PENANANNyg67HnhF
…我真的不想。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAXHiuMKI4aA
1062Please respect copyright.PENANALHkSW6BuWx
至於和她坦白的話,我覺得不是時候,所以也沒有說出口。我需要時間去沉澱,去思考,去好好盤算接下來的做法。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAGnJbVfgqjK
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAXETrw9nb5t
活了在幻象中廿多年的我,被狠狠地摔到現實中。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAMYiLeePph3
1062Please respect copyright.PENANA6PPdxdruU7
現在我要學習在現實中活下去。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAtqKV5nOjTz
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAkF1ya8HTBo
第二天早上,距離核彈發射還有153小時。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAYpjLcMtr54
1062Please respect copyright.PENANAIBQClCg5jK
童桐的窗簾現在到了早上醒來…也再沒有打開了。1062Please respect copyright.PENANAjpwhcRkxPG
1062Please respect copyright.PENANArIqziyyzvB
那兒,只有一片茫然和我心中懷念。