在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。574Please respect copyright.PENANAt9K0Tk6xDg
574Please respect copyright.PENANAc4ErgQwJqb
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:574Please respect copyright.PENANAxHKkvXO1wG
574Please respect copyright.PENANAwpudoY9KE0
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?574Please respect copyright.PENANA3QILsl7iH5
574Please respect copyright.PENANAPKpgtnr8fH
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANAEDLmKvfrxr
574Please respect copyright.PENANAK3gjGPPR5X
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。574Please respect copyright.PENANAfHjKePPRiq
574Please respect copyright.PENANA8bgUHxFfJr
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。574Please respect copyright.PENANAmxqvA3Ic38
574Please respect copyright.PENANAQSufWB39Gd
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!574Please respect copyright.PENANAITZ2BRP9bl
574Please respect copyright.PENANAD6nGhXUelB
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。574Please respect copyright.PENANAKIxzDbPLZP
574Please respect copyright.PENANA0TC99IKcbj
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。574Please respect copyright.PENANAn3MjCRlGRU
574Please respect copyright.PENANAW8WfEXorv4
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。574Please respect copyright.PENANAeVigjklrl7
574Please respect copyright.PENANABLHxPwoQAL
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。574Please respect copyright.PENANA6Oa0lNIm2G
574Please respect copyright.PENANA6k43wVjMRF
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。574Please respect copyright.PENANAIx1kBG2MOu
574Please respect copyright.PENANANw6YC3YPj4
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANAZuHiEnpGnH
574Please respect copyright.PENANAAu9f11ZhAj
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣574Please respect copyright.PENANAlZdmbHNaem
574Please respect copyright.PENANAsLVYdwZdTr
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?574Please respect copyright.PENANA32t8qn1F0G
574Please respect copyright.PENANAmC0VhzAQY4
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我574Please respect copyright.PENANAIMSvziVZKm
Annie:我真係好自卑574Please respect copyright.PENANALfsw9UB4s2
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有574Please respect copyright.PENANANX6BmoZBW9
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。574Please respect copyright.PENANAJEl46XfLkP
574Please respect copyright.PENANAysvchp5FVd
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。574Please respect copyright.PENANAhWBwtJYXY6
574Please respect copyright.PENANAiaiKYA7jza
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。574Please respect copyright.PENANAxa9FCYCo6n
574Please respect copyright.PENANAw6kbgww6gD
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。574Please respect copyright.PENANADR6qNcKYea
574Please respect copyright.PENANAMD5ewcO9lH
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。574Please respect copyright.PENANAWrqOHqottt
574Please respect copyright.PENANAH3DQz269ZQ
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。574Please respect copyright.PENANAPhlFG7Pm3D
574Please respect copyright.PENANAl94snLBhmh
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?574Please respect copyright.PENANAggnwpBxkCw
574Please respect copyright.PENANAnFyquL4eAV
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。574Please respect copyright.PENANAgfyrtMn1OL
574Please respect copyright.PENANAPiyfr8hwYE
我:我好想食豬扒飯。574Please respect copyright.PENANAh8uETfRLSS
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANApRLkS4Iscq
574Please respect copyright.PENANArYQfV8g1HY
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!574Please respect copyright.PENANArITg93JgmF
574Please respect copyright.PENANA6zHjXrZQ1V
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。574Please respect copyright.PENANAEU1y3gaK1g
574Please respect copyright.PENANA4ok6spPqG9
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANAJe5ekGR1cR
574Please respect copyright.PENANAtDtMlcUZTb
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑574Please respect copyright.PENANAKgUXnq5z9g
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒574Please respect copyright.PENANA77YudhJtGe
574Please respect copyright.PENANA1qVzhdiBhP
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。574Please respect copyright.PENANALWiF8Qjbag
574Please respect copyright.PENANA6nSq3JIcO2
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。574Please respect copyright.PENANAkAxVJHnHgl
574Please respect copyright.PENANAvuQc2aiSKt
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。574Please respect copyright.PENANAjf50Nl5qcM
574Please respect copyright.PENANA3Ni7aJJnSe
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。574Please respect copyright.PENANA08aFkzEIMx
574Please respect copyright.PENANAnjx5WcNUJJ
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。574Please respect copyright.PENANAwb5PkTlsqZ
574Please respect copyright.PENANARcnUQFofWO
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。574Please respect copyright.PENANAUzZFZjjAAs
574Please respect copyright.PENANAPGgZo98rIC
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?574Please respect copyright.PENANAcTmnUM0ZLq
574Please respect copyright.PENANA3eAlQj0AOw
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。574Please respect copyright.PENANAlTJH0rouBL
574Please respect copyright.PENANAJJaIbS3f9t
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。574Please respect copyright.PENANAG2WK0eWatt
574Please respect copyright.PENANAwZGNUZdEiB
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。574Please respect copyright.PENANA1UblznQluA
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺574Please respect copyright.PENANACoQIs3yqXq
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走574Please respect copyright.PENANAwEchm9RmYj
574Please respect copyright.PENANAxe9IFLSMpC
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANAchGbPBc0uX
574Please respect copyright.PENANARp4F6sq6t1
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大574Please respect copyright.PENANAi8phUvhOTu
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身574Please respect copyright.PENANA0yni5ym9id
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J574Please respect copyright.PENANAZet8X43dHS
574Please respect copyright.PENANASJsr8sYQq1
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANAThaJSqZq1f
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANA5setkq6UsT
574Please respect copyright.PENANAlB86ZWdaPu
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。574Please respect copyright.PENANAhukmAak6RW
574Please respect copyright.PENANAFQeQdYrv1J
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。574Please respect copyright.PENANAx7o9VXwOI1
574Please respect copyright.PENANAw2pJRaYDPO
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。574Please respect copyright.PENANA7rhSfTv7aD
574Please respect copyright.PENANAw2f3wyGXvK
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?574Please respect copyright.PENANAUvdHQ0D0GO
574Please respect copyright.PENANANpfKETwDTD
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANAGKAZBN8PMf
574Please respect copyright.PENANAAGZkaQhKaM
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANA50iLTtM9x8
574Please respect copyright.PENANAvhXSHdoqw6
我:我憑直覺亂估咋574Please respect copyright.PENANAGzxOBuRNGF
574Please respect copyright.PENANA9GsuKXdcB4
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?574Please respect copyright.PENANAaQMJTEmuph
574Please respect copyright.PENANAQm0AyYpVxE
我思索了一會,然後回覆。574Please respect copyright.PENANAomUmIGI2kQ
574Please respect copyright.PENANAFKt1G1eLnE
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。574Please respect copyright.PENANAKbDncMHya4
574Please respect copyright.PENANAQiNXxntM5g
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。574Please respect copyright.PENANAxPXc9hsnrH
574Please respect copyright.PENANAMhUx17veLV
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy574Please respect copyright.PENANAV5fossORyd
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度574Please respect copyright.PENANAtqAvQ9blh1
574Please respect copyright.PENANAZHlHQlgpGY
我:你本身都係bi?574Please respect copyright.PENANARpDiXNxi0e
574Please respect copyright.PENANA8Gh60ttwS1
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑574Please respect copyright.PENANAA8eqhVtxIq
574Please respect copyright.PENANAdtgKffh8JY
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水574Please respect copyright.PENANADPi0TeTSNb
574Please respect copyright.PENANARECBIoyOHy
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?574Please respect copyright.PENANAqs3GKl0DB5
574Please respect copyright.PENANApRj40sbRx9
我:人工閪😏574Please respect copyright.PENANAWtkZmMjnDK
574Please respect copyright.PENANA29ZVVXxFWi
Annie:😳😳574Please respect copyright.PENANADhAuos527b
574Please respect copyright.PENANANxCOt40Vf1
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊574Please respect copyright.PENANAT5xHRm89jC
574Please respect copyright.PENANA9OKtd0UrG5
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?