在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9K0Tk6xDg
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4ErgQwJqb
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHKkvXO1wG
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpudoY9KE0
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QILsl7iH5
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKpgtnr8fH
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDLmKvfrxr
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3gjGPPR5X
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHjKePPRiq
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bgUHxFfJr
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxqvA3Ic38
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSufWB39Gd
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITZ2BRP9bl
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6nGhXUelB
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIxzDbPLZP
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TC99IKcbj
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3MjCRlGRU
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8WfEXorv4
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVigjklrl7
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLHxPwoQAL
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Oa0lNIm2G
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6k43wVjMRF
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx1kBG2MOu
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw6YC3YPj4
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuHiEnpGnH
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu9f11ZhAj
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZdmbHNaem
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLVYdwZdTr
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32t8qn1F0G
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmC0VhzAQY4
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMSvziVZKm
Annie：我真係好自卑574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfsw9UB4s2
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX6BmoZBW9
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEl46XfLkP
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysvchp5FVd
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWBwtJYXY6
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaiKYA7jza
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxa9FCYCo6n
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6kbgww6gD
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDR6qNcKYea
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD5ewcO9lH
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrqOHqottt
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3DQz269ZQ
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhlFG7Pm3D
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl94snLBhmh
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggnwpBxkCw
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFyquL4eAV
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfyrtMn1OL
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiyfr8hwYE
我：我好想食豬扒飯。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8uETfRLSS
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRLkS4Iscq
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYQfV8g1HY
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrITg93JgmF
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zHjXrZQ1V
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEU1y3gaK1g
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ok6spPqG9
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe5ekGR1cR
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDtMlcUZTb
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgUXnq5z9g
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77YudhJtGe
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qVzhdiBhP
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWiF8Qjbag
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nSq3JIcO2
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAxVJHnHgl
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuQc2aiSKt
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjf50Nl5qcM
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ni7aJJnSe
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08aFkzEIMx
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjx5WcNUJJ
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwb5PkTlsqZ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcnUQFofWO
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzZFZjjAAs
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGgZo98rIC
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTmnUM0ZLq
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eAlQj0AOw
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTJH0rouBL
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJaIbS3f9t
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2WK0eWatt
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZGNUZdEiB
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UblznQluA
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoQIs3yqXq
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEchm9RmYj
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxe9IFLSMpC
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchGbPBc0uX
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp4F6sq6t1
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8phUvhOTu
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yni5ym9id
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZet8X43dHS
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJsr8sYQq1
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThaJSqZq1f
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5setkq6UsT
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB86ZWdaPu
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhukmAak6RW
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQeQdYrv1J
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7o9VXwOI1
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2pJRaYDPO
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rhSfTv7aD
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2f3wyGXvK
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvdHQ0D0GO
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpfKETwDTD
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKAZBN8PMf
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGZkaQhKaM
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50iLTtM9x8
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhXSHdoqw6
我：我憑直覺亂估咋574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzxOBuRNGF
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GsuKXdcB4
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQMJTEmuph
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQm0AyYpVxE
我思索了一會，然後回覆。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomUmIGI2kQ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKt1G1eLnE
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbDncMHya4
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiNXxntM5g
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPXc9hsnrH
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhUx17veLV
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5fossORyd
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqAvQ9blh1
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHlHQlgpGY
我：你本身都係bi？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpDiXNxi0e
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Gh60ttwS1
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8eqhVtxIq
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtgKffh8JY
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPi0TeTSNb
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRECBIoyOHy
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqs3GKl0DB5
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRj40sbRx9
我：人工閪😏574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtkZmMjnDK
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29ZVVXxFWi
Annie：😳😳574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhAuos527b
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxCOt40Vf1
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5xHRm89jC
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OKtd0UrG5
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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