在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWRgxS7Lmz
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AUXt0H7gD
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27I23QCE9s
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT0Zhv6rF2
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JfhobSXPd
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjDxOF6EVz
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinnj46kUkU
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XV9Zb32dD
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkE4zO2F9Oh
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U6mgxj5ck
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPoYcm8890
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyV3rNOmqsC
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09dDo4tuFs
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nApsDZRaw
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6G1ODlMLW
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNt4QoZ7Rc
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Sb2DVsxxT
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEwaW3avQ0
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2rOc4Do5N
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKy7L5bQLr
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHw7cxfmOx
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUvAugjTVg
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZv3WHCWrq
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vjrhrBNi8
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZO7NKpMshc
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmTeU71DHV
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xcspjKNfl
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIuOk0Gfrp
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpN31L7hi93
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcoCYPzzRx
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YUqEjipG2
Annie：我真係好自卑522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziroxZFodO
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM2GawXSgD
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3whFgnn3RB
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRiKnRkAHN
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGzGxKmlpJ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0shQuFpXe
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o8Vf95RSB
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GcAdcJfeo
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zZKGSIzTo
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cjsNNQsLu
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79P0DpkfZy
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NQMmdOplj
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZkjt4Da6r
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkWsgN5NL9
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGrNoIeWDA
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrk67NcrheQ
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4JxZE9ow0
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSN667jc5rZ
我：我好想食豬扒飯。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjfubklt4n
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGVqWzsVyq
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9IWRIILtw
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLb6oqPwRV
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXWrxBOkX6
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEdX4WqqDm
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG62BK2Vbxx
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCjAkDqvhl
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacbuBOK75w
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gXCwb8OMk
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqVQYR2f3q
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxI8GPW5sn
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAI0w6cTfm
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxavWOzPthg
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5edexJyRhF
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSlvq8MgDC
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvaKIsJ9zn
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlN9psQ7AS
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhRi1eMjFJ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidpsytQuBe
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjld4Uwf6R1
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SihmUAfkx
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SgZWX6rhM
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJoNWgEs6k
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEuqzNkLAJ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt6MU8njtB
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8krM28t6OX
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhakO0GOFY
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH47B0dEDa
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEuKkh9ajF
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXi8kBtxMW
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyssTsvdxy
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKko3Mzo4T
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNnA1EpOvU
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6U1NchXVvd
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhxzfRLKPA
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8Q0QlyzfQ
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cK00ObZJh
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOdrjJRjHZ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RUGCR4Zx7
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjdZOt2Xco
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhon8Bz9z6
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpSQHHlKbp
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnPVOZQVhy
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB5pxodwv1
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZANkYNiOy6
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsghnyhSm7A
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUxOyEE9II
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70ccxwhOYS
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfcNvNrVvh
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrXWS0zaKS
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxysxKQoIMq
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtITAgrCGG
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1SoDTkDeV
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXWKAPOCr2
我：我憑直覺亂估咋522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5f1pLQIzSR
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5lSZwXUaO
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wBrfmxCgF
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaxR5aS9ld
我思索了一會，然後回覆。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJZR0cGcNt
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiVw7hjZRu
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfSvZOJd4I
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JXHbRTtWM
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOq6XBWy8zZ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFgxVP7Ss4
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe3pumjbMa
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTBt9CoV3r
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZQnjUl1Ml
我：你本身都係bi？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OQWfZ3ulC
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MerY6Z62B
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UzAFd8tUc
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7vKQccgTq
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R7cUWa3Gt
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GGX9Ovfrx
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIupj6PoZw
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa1W98DWwq
我：人工閪😏522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbgnkDIXzQ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJTdy7cQdj
Annie：😳😳522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtptdWYwmSN
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzkewsAyuc
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmLeyvQifU
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH73KEDM3kf
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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