在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。522Please respect copyright.PENANAGWRgxS7Lmz
522Please respect copyright.PENANA2AUXt0H7gD
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:522Please respect copyright.PENANA27I23QCE9s
522Please respect copyright.PENANAzT0Zhv6rF2
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?522Please respect copyright.PENANA0JfhobSXPd
522Please respect copyright.PENANAPjDxOF6EVz
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAinnj46kUkU
522Please respect copyright.PENANA2XV9Zb32dD
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。522Please respect copyright.PENANAkE4zO2F9Oh
522Please respect copyright.PENANA4U6mgxj5ck
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。522Please respect copyright.PENANAUPoYcm8890
522Please respect copyright.PENANAyV3rNOmqsC
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!522Please respect copyright.PENANA09dDo4tuFs
522Please respect copyright.PENANA6nApsDZRaw
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。522Please respect copyright.PENANAz6G1ODlMLW
522Please respect copyright.PENANATNt4QoZ7Rc
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。522Please respect copyright.PENANA5Sb2DVsxxT
522Please respect copyright.PENANAMEwaW3avQ0
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。522Please respect copyright.PENANAS2rOc4Do5N
522Please respect copyright.PENANAcKy7L5bQLr
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。522Please respect copyright.PENANAmHw7cxfmOx
522Please respect copyright.PENANAnUvAugjTVg
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。522Please respect copyright.PENANATZv3WHCWrq
522Please respect copyright.PENANA4vjrhrBNi8
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAZO7NKpMshc
522Please respect copyright.PENANABmTeU71DHV
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣522Please respect copyright.PENANA9xcspjKNfl
522Please respect copyright.PENANAhIuOk0Gfrp
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?522Please respect copyright.PENANApN31L7hi93
522Please respect copyright.PENANAGcoCYPzzRx
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我522Please respect copyright.PENANA6YUqEjipG2
Annie:我真係好自卑522Please respect copyright.PENANAziroxZFodO
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有522Please respect copyright.PENANAmM2GawXSgD
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。522Please respect copyright.PENANA3whFgnn3RB
522Please respect copyright.PENANAuRiKnRkAHN
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。522Please respect copyright.PENANACGzGxKmlpJ
522Please respect copyright.PENANAx0shQuFpXe
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。522Please respect copyright.PENANA4o8Vf95RSB
522Please respect copyright.PENANA0GcAdcJfeo
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。522Please respect copyright.PENANA0zZKGSIzTo
522Please respect copyright.PENANA1cjsNNQsLu
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。522Please respect copyright.PENANA79P0DpkfZy
522Please respect copyright.PENANA3NQMmdOplj
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。522Please respect copyright.PENANAsZkjt4Da6r
522Please respect copyright.PENANAhkWsgN5NL9
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?522Please respect copyright.PENANAwGrNoIeWDA
522Please respect copyright.PENANArk67NcrheQ
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。522Please respect copyright.PENANAA4JxZE9ow0
522Please respect copyright.PENANASN667jc5rZ
我:我好想食豬扒飯。522Please respect copyright.PENANAMjfubklt4n
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANArGVqWzsVyq
522Please respect copyright.PENANAR9IWRIILtw
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!522Please respect copyright.PENANAjLb6oqPwRV
522Please respect copyright.PENANATXWrxBOkX6
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。522Please respect copyright.PENANAJEdX4WqqDm
522Please respect copyright.PENANAG62BK2Vbxx
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAnCjAkDqvhl
522Please respect copyright.PENANAacbuBOK75w
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑522Please respect copyright.PENANA7gXCwb8OMk
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒522Please respect copyright.PENANABqVQYR2f3q
522Please respect copyright.PENANAbxI8GPW5sn
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。522Please respect copyright.PENANApAI0w6cTfm
522Please respect copyright.PENANAxavWOzPthg
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。522Please respect copyright.PENANA5edexJyRhF
522Please respect copyright.PENANAsSlvq8MgDC
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。522Please respect copyright.PENANAuvaKIsJ9zn
522Please respect copyright.PENANAMlN9psQ7AS
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。522Please respect copyright.PENANAGhRi1eMjFJ
522Please respect copyright.PENANAidpsytQuBe
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。522Please respect copyright.PENANAjld4Uwf6R1
522Please respect copyright.PENANA7SihmUAfkx
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。522Please respect copyright.PENANA0SgZWX6rhM
522Please respect copyright.PENANAgJoNWgEs6k
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?522Please respect copyright.PENANAAEuqzNkLAJ
522Please respect copyright.PENANAOt6MU8njtB
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。522Please respect copyright.PENANA8krM28t6OX
522Please respect copyright.PENANAxhakO0GOFY
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。522Please respect copyright.PENANArH47B0dEDa
522Please respect copyright.PENANAzEuKkh9ajF
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。522Please respect copyright.PENANANXi8kBtxMW
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺522Please respect copyright.PENANAEyssTsvdxy
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走522Please respect copyright.PENANAQKko3Mzo4T
522Please respect copyright.PENANAXNnA1EpOvU
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANA6U1NchXVvd
522Please respect copyright.PENANAqhxzfRLKPA
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大522Please respect copyright.PENANAR8Q0QlyzfQ
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身522Please respect copyright.PENANA9cK00ObZJh
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J522Please respect copyright.PENANAjOdrjJRjHZ
522Please respect copyright.PENANA2RUGCR4Zx7
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAPjdZOt2Xco
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAmhon8Bz9z6
522Please respect copyright.PENANABpSQHHlKbp
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。522Please respect copyright.PENANAYnPVOZQVhy
522Please respect copyright.PENANARB5pxodwv1
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。522Please respect copyright.PENANAZANkYNiOy6
522Please respect copyright.PENANAsghnyhSm7A
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。522Please respect copyright.PENANAuUxOyEE9II
522Please respect copyright.PENANA70ccxwhOYS
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?522Please respect copyright.PENANAlfcNvNrVvh
522Please respect copyright.PENANAwrXWS0zaKS
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAxysxKQoIMq
522Please respect copyright.PENANAUtITAgrCGG
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAu1SoDTkDeV
522Please respect copyright.PENANAEXWKAPOCr2
我:我憑直覺亂估咋522Please respect copyright.PENANA5f1pLQIzSR
522Please respect copyright.PENANAl5lSZwXUaO
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?522Please respect copyright.PENANA1wBrfmxCgF
522Please respect copyright.PENANAwaxR5aS9ld
我思索了一會,然後回覆。522Please respect copyright.PENANAHJZR0cGcNt
522Please respect copyright.PENANAZiVw7hjZRu
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。522Please respect copyright.PENANAXfSvZOJd4I
522Please respect copyright.PENANA5JXHbRTtWM
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。522Please respect copyright.PENANAOq6XBWy8zZ
522Please respect copyright.PENANAJFgxVP7Ss4
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy522Please respect copyright.PENANAJe3pumjbMa
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度522Please respect copyright.PENANAqTBt9CoV3r
522Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZQnjUl1Ml
我:你本身都係bi?522Please respect copyright.PENANA1OQWfZ3ulC
522Please respect copyright.PENANA7MerY6Z62B
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑522Please respect copyright.PENANA6UzAFd8tUc
522Please respect copyright.PENANAo7vKQccgTq
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水522Please respect copyright.PENANA3R7cUWa3Gt
522Please respect copyright.PENANA2GGX9Ovfrx
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?522Please respect copyright.PENANAtIupj6PoZw
522Please respect copyright.PENANARa1W98DWwq
我:人工閪😏522Please respect copyright.PENANAhbgnkDIXzQ
522Please respect copyright.PENANAIJTdy7cQdj
Annie:😳😳522Please respect copyright.PENANAtptdWYwmSN
522Please respect copyright.PENANAtzkewsAyuc
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊522Please respect copyright.PENANAFmLeyvQifU
522Please respect copyright.PENANAH73KEDM3kf
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?