在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26IxVSXtzy
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxh3w1ikdX
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO0V7NMUuh
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYw00OJsaB
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLsDv1bLTA
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitPGZleqit
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr32aitE4JT
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsNATOnLt9
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCXqG4Ck7U
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQLdbKTz8L
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmi2Fnz5va
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjE0J6pU1d
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPdgLvTN7n
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbVbWGnBZe
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfR5fhcDz2
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1JkRejJt3
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdl8XbPMbqy
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ssGKRIEgP
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXMt3B8dHg
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80m83WNVWT
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnO4l0ENZW
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQALaAA1c8
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71RNzAkE14
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR45S5ovew
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW523YtdqEs
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlf8JXO5iX9
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVxns6mUhR
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn65zZZLqr
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSR4NXCTYH
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdwTOLsMih
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX84pL0CTv
Annie：我真係好自卑623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSRsKPmko4
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFvVt0CO9U
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCidUVhDNtg
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBUUYjqBMl
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnQukJiDbO
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADoItspFQ8
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfmHQBUDqQ
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEWqUtnNxH
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzb5v3BKcs
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx2V9I5Zyl
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyGN5uQGo2
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhQMN673pZ
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLNOuNLlJO
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxq8r7qd9o
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVXf3oO9fF
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDELwCQW3k
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0TXkQzsW9
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEaqCKaoZy
我：我好想食豬扒飯。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcqRO0lTgh
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2JyLrFN9x
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZojDiZNAID
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqB5iLVZQO
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcobr6ldtMk
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCCsYd63H7
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i2mFIwYOq
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1ssoVxupL
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfHK8szsuI
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLkxIKqEdD
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxTDeY9kh5
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmNnGY9phX
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppYPpufcdo
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImRXfTrM9A
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxANsdhdQEp
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGn5mlXvIc
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShpDEaRz1l
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRcN7qNxoe
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj64Rwg7KLC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CW26Rgk8S
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCb1Rky2BUi
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoYhpy5TUw
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6R5uBfwWn
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdoo4h1pNR
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJSVpWWZFO
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfalF5buBF7
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYB0goAagzQ
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3khVbFksWp
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14kvb7MprA
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8IX9A881Y
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsIq18BVVb
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAtSJdO5gK
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLFpDawMII
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCGM0EMebM
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21usboheqW
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix2PjeG90D
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn3uwaukRW
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgocHEzaFVn
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oSlZnhvJS
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3Vw7uIp9i
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXu8YeFnijn
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i3IDzkngY
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNRgJMGLY8
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡersThKXwwV
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGz01MyE0zk
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXZCSTGlCa
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MgjhKaKBW
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0wu1BU1SL
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkJEv9YyGe
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMCNyWcJFR
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DgeqmD1j1
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zGAb4UjUm
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WTkMGmyDK
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MafjeLipo
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBANEOgzWZs
我：我憑直覺亂估咋623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lNUaeEgJv
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsJwar4GIM
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGibSJClYY
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡue0Xc682Vj
我思索了一會，然後回覆。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpdr3CFfae
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4r9NFYKzE
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kdC1NrmEK
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG8EM1WPLt
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwOZIAdQxl
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPfCsuWGrK
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQP1aAc3h1
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTB9zD51yEY
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfneIPBIa8M
我：你本身都係bi？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kz4NMbhTg
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdEldtvapz
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a8jfXBAnd
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KZ7KRdohn
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFAN66dwcR
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJWMZodEZo
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfKA4cG5oZ
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzeERpKfgK
我：人工閪😏623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEGtis5vUl
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeVtGZiVSn
Annie：😳😳623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnNhNcKQdq
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PLngU9d1a
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M2NJ71oo6
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFJ9PaUl2u
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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