在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5bXuPHLeN
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtQKTW3Zrm
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhSmNYXv10
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvP3dDR8S7X
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjXUqvTljB
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzaGyApaiV
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr91kdIFN9V
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDw7KHzDj0
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhV0OW9yiL
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvtdOYi8gy
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1Zin0dAVU
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJ9FNFvlJ9
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Q0bg9j78v
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSSQnqyQ34
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr9lZM0wT7
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFF2a2WZWP
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIRCz8CRkC
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqX9aiJRMb
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDvxDbGMZK
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYikZnxoZ2S
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPBTBK7XFh
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeCHvlu9ao
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt8YmpEsK5
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBN5Q901Ghk
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0V6fxUWnF
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxQsDRX7fs
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YVhBHxvOO
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77o8ub3qVo
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR0G9sV7Oi
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAohIF2JPj
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhF7ZgzZbs
Annie：我真係好自卑529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG025VHVvUe
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEFa4cZxs3
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBg6pa2AfL
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdinOuyWhuy
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oKutMwc8E
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89L18sV3l1
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XwRXMRLjU
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZptDLHluK
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5as38ZP2M
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHhat7gvyK
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75hq2kml3D
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrXsysp2yy
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8igwvPqmAR
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrpG99siAu
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXUwNcksMx
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzNBEh7if5
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsDBtJG4BH
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHcB6Wu8gw
我：我好想食豬扒飯。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7brSplrqy6
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIaAyvw1RB
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFLW1P9g3q
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOII3joBeF
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlq9ovIUb4f
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0A91kEGepK
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsCgf8t98M
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpdVj93gHa
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxa0vnUi1H
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGuQmHNRsV
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFF7XjUXXf
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswTjwG72U2
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0Lja8Me9G
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnMhSHEpvt
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKubnzFyFiO
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpEwXvHaIY
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW0hSpZYF1
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiE1NwVDXnO
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUe8jsoAe8
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN7XaMpgcm
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AmMFZBssz
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH1kn0c3R2
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICLtYsIkTL
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyEbwiJaDB
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYB9iset8X
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF97YYTyQGi
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWN51pTfGXn
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmCThcI4fF
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtR1oY9EYqa
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmJmEcDlV3
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qQKAKSRZW
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI95KllTVTH
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6kuI4Yx9U
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0WfNBl8ib
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bGVFxRQW9
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRzPKyjMyK
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CQXWDgmLG
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnz4c3LUah
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhDN7qBoIu
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxZrLxXElq
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPzxIGqdzU
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvazSh9KaTY
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFgZuj0isS
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaFNtXDwmo
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxFRnRHYMD
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cHEuxRNrG
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8ExhZRBSC
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD19ArIbyKg
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nx7oD3I2D
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOFQzVLCeg
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB7tZHcZxD
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8QXzNf7Qm
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJq7LFCe9w
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEoBmaudmc
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtsWFHRxxY
我：我憑直覺亂估咋529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mOyHmN0BH
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21GXKZtNec
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUCSOc2KN2
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6U5v1LrdCM
我思索了一會，然後回覆。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uG2ek2OIK
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkjhq9gwxe
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0O3M96684
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq4W3X6qKf
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgASyhbb2T
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2B0PWEKZwF
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyNf9fRbpQ
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzyJJ1xhE9
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6fAAx7xlH
我：你本身都係bi？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJsU6Jlj9P
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6yfQhYYZx
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6B5B3IEZH
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrm8nM0y5J
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwnXWJLoaS
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjhvM3ALvM
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwfJme9ZvX
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREGq54hYgr
我：人工閪😏529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dLFZcqSag
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYbxqwvX9O
Annie：😳😳529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O4glxP9P9
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsp9BYX0VY
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBxKTAWrri
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxSJzFzd7J
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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