在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。623Please respect copyright.PENANA26IxVSXtzy
623Please respect copyright.PENANAAxh3w1ikdX
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:623Please respect copyright.PENANAqO0V7NMUuh
623Please respect copyright.PENANAYYw00OJsaB
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?623Please respect copyright.PENANABLsDv1bLTA
623Please respect copyright.PENANAitPGZleqit
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANAr32aitE4JT
623Please respect copyright.PENANAJsNATOnLt9
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。623Please respect copyright.PENANAbCXqG4Ck7U
623Please respect copyright.PENANAxQLdbKTz8L
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。623Please respect copyright.PENANAHmi2Fnz5va
623Please respect copyright.PENANASjE0J6pU1d
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!623Please respect copyright.PENANAlPdgLvTN7n
623Please respect copyright.PENANAwbVbWGnBZe
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。623Please respect copyright.PENANAlfR5fhcDz2
623Please respect copyright.PENANAv1JkRejJt3
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。623Please respect copyright.PENANAdl8XbPMbqy
623Please respect copyright.PENANA2ssGKRIEgP
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。623Please respect copyright.PENANAAXMt3B8dHg
623Please respect copyright.PENANA80m83WNVWT
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。623Please respect copyright.PENANASnO4l0ENZW
623Please respect copyright.PENANAnQALaAA1c8
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。623Please respect copyright.PENANA71RNzAkE14
623Please respect copyright.PENANAdR45S5ovew
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANAW523YtdqEs
623Please respect copyright.PENANAlf8JXO5iX9
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣623Please respect copyright.PENANAJVxns6mUhR
623Please respect copyright.PENANArn65zZZLqr
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?623Please respect copyright.PENANAXSR4NXCTYH
623Please respect copyright.PENANASdwTOLsMih
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我623Please respect copyright.PENANALX84pL0CTv
Annie:我真係好自卑623Please respect copyright.PENANAhSRsKPmko4
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有623Please respect copyright.PENANApFvVt0CO9U
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。623Please respect copyright.PENANACidUVhDNtg
623Please respect copyright.PENANASBUUYjqBMl
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。623Please respect copyright.PENANAnnQukJiDbO
623Please respect copyright.PENANAADoItspFQ8
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。623Please respect copyright.PENANAZfmHQBUDqQ
623Please respect copyright.PENANACEWqUtnNxH
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。623Please respect copyright.PENANAQzb5v3BKcs
623Please respect copyright.PENANAJx2V9I5Zyl
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。623Please respect copyright.PENANAFyGN5uQGo2
623Please respect copyright.PENANAIhQMN673pZ
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。623Please respect copyright.PENANAiLNOuNLlJO
623Please respect copyright.PENANAoxq8r7qd9o
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?623Please respect copyright.PENANAwVXf3oO9fF
623Please respect copyright.PENANAuDELwCQW3k
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。623Please respect copyright.PENANAp0TXkQzsW9
623Please respect copyright.PENANAHEaqCKaoZy
我:我好想食豬扒飯。623Please respect copyright.PENANAVcqRO0lTgh
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANAD2JyLrFN9x
623Please respect copyright.PENANAZojDiZNAID
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!623Please respect copyright.PENANAWqB5iLVZQO
623Please respect copyright.PENANAcobr6ldtMk
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。623Please respect copyright.PENANAPCCsYd63H7
623Please respect copyright.PENANA7i2mFIwYOq
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANAa1ssoVxupL
623Please respect copyright.PENANATfHK8szsuI
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑623Please respect copyright.PENANAgLkxIKqEdD
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒623Please respect copyright.PENANAvxTDeY9kh5
623Please respect copyright.PENANABmNnGY9phX
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。623Please respect copyright.PENANAppYPpufcdo
623Please respect copyright.PENANAImRXfTrM9A
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。623Please respect copyright.PENANAxANsdhdQEp
623Please respect copyright.PENANArGn5mlXvIc
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。623Please respect copyright.PENANAShpDEaRz1l
623Please respect copyright.PENANAgRcN7qNxoe
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。623Please respect copyright.PENANAj64Rwg7KLC
623Please respect copyright.PENANA0CW26Rgk8S
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。623Please respect copyright.PENANACb1Rky2BUi
623Please respect copyright.PENANAWoYhpy5TUw
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。623Please respect copyright.PENANAx6R5uBfwWn
623Please respect copyright.PENANAKdoo4h1pNR
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?623Please respect copyright.PENANArJSVpWWZFO
623Please respect copyright.PENANAfalF5buBF7
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。623Please respect copyright.PENANAYB0goAagzQ
623Please respect copyright.PENANA3khVbFksWp
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。623Please respect copyright.PENANA14kvb7MprA
623Please respect copyright.PENANAV8IX9A881Y
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。623Please respect copyright.PENANAUsIq18BVVb
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺623Please respect copyright.PENANAYAtSJdO5gK
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走623Please respect copyright.PENANAGLFpDawMII
623Please respect copyright.PENANAJCGM0EMebM
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANA21usboheqW
623Please respect copyright.PENANAix2PjeG90D
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大623Please respect copyright.PENANATn3uwaukRW
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身623Please respect copyright.PENANAgocHEzaFVn
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J623Please respect copyright.PENANA1oSlZnhvJS
623Please respect copyright.PENANAW3Vw7uIp9i
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANAXu8YeFnijn
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANA6i3IDzkngY
623Please respect copyright.PENANADNRgJMGLY8
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。623Please respect copyright.PENANAersThKXwwV
623Please respect copyright.PENANAGz01MyE0zk
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。623Please respect copyright.PENANAjXZCSTGlCa
623Please respect copyright.PENANA6MgjhKaKBW
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。623Please respect copyright.PENANAp0wu1BU1SL
623Please respect copyright.PENANABkJEv9YyGe
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?623Please respect copyright.PENANAeMCNyWcJFR
623Please respect copyright.PENANA6DgeqmD1j1
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANA0zGAb4UjUm
623Please respect copyright.PENANA4WTkMGmyDK
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANA6MafjeLipo
623Please respect copyright.PENANABANEOgzWZs
我:我憑直覺亂估咋623Please respect copyright.PENANA9lNUaeEgJv
623Please respect copyright.PENANALsJwar4GIM
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?623Please respect copyright.PENANAlGibSJClYY
623Please respect copyright.PENANAue0Xc682Vj
我思索了一會,然後回覆。623Please respect copyright.PENANAkpdr3CFfae
623Please respect copyright.PENANAs4r9NFYKzE
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。623Please respect copyright.PENANA5kdC1NrmEK
623Please respect copyright.PENANAOG8EM1WPLt
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。623Please respect copyright.PENANAKwOZIAdQxl
623Please respect copyright.PENANAxPfCsuWGrK
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy623Please respect copyright.PENANAWQP1aAc3h1
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度623Please respect copyright.PENANATB9zD51yEY
623Please respect copyright.PENANAfneIPBIa8M
我:你本身都係bi?623Please respect copyright.PENANA5kz4NMbhTg
623Please respect copyright.PENANAhdEldtvapz
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑623Please respect copyright.PENANA7a8jfXBAnd
623Please respect copyright.PENANA2KZ7KRdohn
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水623Please respect copyright.PENANAuFAN66dwcR
623Please respect copyright.PENANAIJWMZodEZo
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?623Please respect copyright.PENANASfKA4cG5oZ
623Please respect copyright.PENANAZzeERpKfgK
我:人工閪😏623Please respect copyright.PENANAtEGtis5vUl
623Please respect copyright.PENANAxeVtGZiVSn
Annie:😳😳623Please respect copyright.PENANACnNhNcKQdq
623Please respect copyright.PENANA7PLngU9d1a
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊623Please respect copyright.PENANA8M2NJ71oo6
623Please respect copyright.PENANAWFJ9PaUl2u
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?