在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOmGtnu1Yg
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUt2euQ6DuW
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLhMokwU35
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh8XYIuBed
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSJWo8y1Eb
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1EOyVAisy
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsa98wRQ5er
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3liSjGrvy
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dzk5wwbDC
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuhT0zz1fR
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G2YhUsiyW
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyg7KeJ0xP
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UYitjOUbM
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N7rAH1EiP
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogFlJHfuGi
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgtylX8U1c
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIMkZG7fjg
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡON5PnMBSA3
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwpBLgKYaG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaCUs0W52S
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWJEeFxAD4
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5ebIKrtYe
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN1sh7NSdY
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd10ehXZy5v
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtyqcHN4Cz
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDPyE4Ra7v
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPJ7h7ZuJf
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zvNlClDSx
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQkhUI42oz
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbtco62f8n
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH75aVWZc62
Annie：我真係好自卑624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV70Dr7IYX
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHccPORhDE
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDHNuZnAji
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ARgN6wD8H
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCAK7Ijb4T
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhjY2IW52d
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUuKXYUqvo
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIXMFz7ydy
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JJh2lhHkG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAwiUZbxZM
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKHziwUc8x
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPirH5MmIvZ
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAso6zTTzt
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3gpwLyry1
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnrtXOdPoP
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVk9nkpTkI
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgp9NnXUg2
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwARVYbz3M9
我：我好想食豬扒飯。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbSubvp7HH
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbnEmA1jqq
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UehMU5hVK
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2LgD9wXxF
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5wp0PWcc4
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0MH4mFayR
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpdVCDKi4q
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2rcCEZbSX
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj6qxlDfWh
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnFCBIIXkX
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTO2SwtJpoL
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcJZYDgAIR
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7g1fbInfm
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTj43XwweZW
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NvgjfqrzI
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFi5OTiKjM
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6OEzEA1YW
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5DhI3osKZ
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBvphN21zi
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQKGEHh2Yz
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiHCYF3NJ3
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHcgsPPa3N
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QfY2EkJyG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusLF0qzwuP
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUt3WSl8xu
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PxpdBWfh7
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoORwy6izc
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwRmKLrVsU
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN2DAJO6hH
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHWAQYn3yz
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb440JzoUuQ
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTjibmZUlp
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHd3dsFuyg
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OoxfiffnI
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkpV9YWosN
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeG8QExUU6F
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQTbiAs40H
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqmk5INTN1
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxEf0qnUhK
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTLd3RKkOJ
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHnxyygBbt
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvMn0sL4Kg
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFOa5FGWsc
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlPzy2fGkB
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurdxkJR3nq
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y5iTWPeVM
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYfEAKct0E
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFiC8I1nwe
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbIPy12pub
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNCfVQR4V4
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiNT80zg1B
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIXB9EYHVZ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fgiCtT23h
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTiNZV5waI
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTOw6HJOU2
我：我憑直覺亂估咋624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHIL6OTc8v
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsOrYc7dG7
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkgSyOkS3w
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXmaQaObFG
我思索了一會，然後回覆。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEkkOYXw2p
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7gZlgdwSu
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiliW8IgNj
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9h477JqlH
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNy4MIHk9V
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVhl2KakZM
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJWLdatNBE
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QHrSG079v
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Y3VLll596
我：你本身都係bi？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJlFo3j24f
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tdZypxOgV
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSiYifPXeq
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlmr7DQWOC
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnYg9Xnh9S
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c1VO9Zguw
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yzVBXIPOP
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJn77grnpM
我：人工閪😏624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHC0BQL1ipZ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEBfFr74dr
Annie：😳😳624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9RzSM96cg
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTgATsEAy6
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz17t0AhNwB
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA70bNJH2KU
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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