在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。523Please respect copyright.PENANAF90oNZfS7K
523Please respect copyright.PENANAZNQPeyoWrq
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:523Please respect copyright.PENANALR9ge6pvcb
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6GUJgbAoDx
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?523Please respect copyright.PENANAY6cKa5z2km
523Please respect copyright.PENANACq1svkFfmw
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAGnVhuwXlqS
523Please respect copyright.PENANANizCjPG5Vy
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。523Please respect copyright.PENANAI8cj6ZCRXB
523Please respect copyright.PENANAlJSTz01KMN
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。523Please respect copyright.PENANAph4ebClAFt
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMZliOQTSoq
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!523Please respect copyright.PENANA866sBUcQRr
523Please respect copyright.PENANANcaZAnug0k
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。523Please respect copyright.PENANAmn2sKs74hZ
523Please respect copyright.PENANAfqvNEQ8IAS
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。523Please respect copyright.PENANA1iLPan41Ls
523Please respect copyright.PENANAnO5DcKBgpp
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。523Please respect copyright.PENANARO0CDGPkoW
523Please respect copyright.PENANAjLvdg1aTFC
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。523Please respect copyright.PENANAOKsOvd6e4X
523Please respect copyright.PENANAAjhSbndjuX
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。523Please respect copyright.PENANAUoHJTVGsHR
523Please respect copyright.PENANAtv0dis2myp
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAkRa0lvN0Q1
523Please respect copyright.PENANAzxKAY8Z0Qk
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣523Please respect copyright.PENANAXcab3O7BfZ
523Please respect copyright.PENANApCSP0VpvBI
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?523Please respect copyright.PENANAJPodwAkv9t
523Please respect copyright.PENANAqxqCYayvP5
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我523Please respect copyright.PENANAEFZ63Pyjkl
Annie:我真係好自卑523Please respect copyright.PENANAnaAntvyBLU
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有523Please respect copyright.PENANAD2GrHu4nEg
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。523Please respect copyright.PENANARA16f7yraC
523Please respect copyright.PENANANma3rQAZcn
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。523Please respect copyright.PENANAdWqaC6Bhjr
523Please respect copyright.PENANAurHomuMQpZ
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。523Please respect copyright.PENANAic5Z3ABVSr
523Please respect copyright.PENANAndol3NWpBS
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。523Please respect copyright.PENANAnmVZAdulrS
523Please respect copyright.PENANAjfJYwqNyyw
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。523Please respect copyright.PENANALu5JZjHaiE
523Please respect copyright.PENANAoV1ukUJZsG
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。523Please respect copyright.PENANAmpyyEQxxlA
523Please respect copyright.PENANAJfuHPfPwJP
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?523Please respect copyright.PENANABbS77NZTPR
523Please respect copyright.PENANAkaZ2nQjjtE
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。523Please respect copyright.PENANAIp6QbCjsDN
523Please respect copyright.PENANA75Ey1gf8t2
我:我好想食豬扒飯。523Please respect copyright.PENANAgB91eTZNF2
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANA3C7Ty4rbmS
523Please respect copyright.PENANAij4O9EOCOk
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!523Please respect copyright.PENANAIDr3CBbwvT
523Please respect copyright.PENANAukEueTaFCM
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。523Please respect copyright.PENANAgfvlTh4owD
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMTSRyj7tUW
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAWKvzbtKNTy
523Please respect copyright.PENANAihoSq9obS3
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑523Please respect copyright.PENANAogSFYJtNEv
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒523Please respect copyright.PENANASOkkHBuiwO
523Please respect copyright.PENANAZYsiWdD6qs
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。523Please respect copyright.PENANAlT75cCuHfJ
523Please respect copyright.PENANAXFCCcURjmu
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。523Please respect copyright.PENANAV8orZrR4dl
523Please respect copyright.PENANATMywmLDm38
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。523Please respect copyright.PENANAzyd9hl4jkU
523Please respect copyright.PENANA80FUoWFo82
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。523Please respect copyright.PENANAPXBNrOWa09
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMLU5aIGMmh
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。523Please respect copyright.PENANAL2G7tVdWFo
523Please respect copyright.PENANAhGgi7sa8Hw
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。523Please respect copyright.PENANAe5AyEUFIut
523Please respect copyright.PENANANB7m2T2CB5
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?523Please respect copyright.PENANAYSQ3BTptty
523Please respect copyright.PENANABCAF6g1fcl
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。523Please respect copyright.PENANADjF6qi6VfS
523Please respect copyright.PENANAeaXgC9IJV7
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。523Please respect copyright.PENANAaG32pR71cq
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMWPxNv75N8
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。523Please respect copyright.PENANAfmFJQlkxgP
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺523Please respect copyright.PENANALZxRc4tPvO
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走523Please respect copyright.PENANAEN5fX3erfG
523Please respect copyright.PENANAh1qpuo13X5
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAp6A3TbZ6Kc
523Please respect copyright.PENANADC1gceiSMn
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大523Please respect copyright.PENANASNF4wX3CDp
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身523Please respect copyright.PENANA53yF3dAUWl
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J523Please respect copyright.PENANA7Ymqmwj9ru
523Please respect copyright.PENANAtS2XCMfADu
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAnd2jxVN7x6
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAgEIeK1zwKf
523Please respect copyright.PENANARD6WOvtMWa
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。523Please respect copyright.PENANA6aWY6A4YX6
523Please respect copyright.PENANAFGJ1zPwLSK
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。523Please respect copyright.PENANAltUwwxoFpc
523Please respect copyright.PENANAaujGb6qsLh
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。523Please respect copyright.PENANALSATOnV5Cs
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMGwLt19r1G
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?523Please respect copyright.PENANAMIRWIorN8h
523Please respect copyright.PENANA1YmhW9Urlf
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAnLGePGpdOS
523Please respect copyright.PENANA7eScHBbVLI
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAePAgdMn3Yo
523Please respect copyright.PENANACVT7xp7bJs
我:我憑直覺亂估咋523Please respect copyright.PENANARAC2MAqK7Q
523Please respect copyright.PENANAOjsFziRQRL
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?523Please respect copyright.PENANAe4V8eFRSLn
523Please respect copyright.PENANAjsiqQcy8ZO
我思索了一會,然後回覆。523Please respect copyright.PENANAqae36BhqYS
523Please respect copyright.PENANAklFG1mlTNx
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。523Please respect copyright.PENANAyaevmVuOtT
523Please respect copyright.PENANAI7s0DZByBS
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。523Please respect copyright.PENANAUPWUoG8ioJ
523Please respect copyright.PENANAvKVnImVmUy
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy523Please respect copyright.PENANATCCuk7cayZ
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度523Please respect copyright.PENANAmcgp4ddoX6
523Please respect copyright.PENANAXOwpwgKwUc
我:你本身都係bi?523Please respect copyright.PENANALkrgF4BWAd
523Please respect copyright.PENANA07qehgGf2z
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑523Please respect copyright.PENANA1tPPDd4PUx
523Please respect copyright.PENANAq9Hm0N8YTG
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水523Please respect copyright.PENANAi0M0i6c4ms
523Please respect copyright.PENANA21EHBMJFx8
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?523Please respect copyright.PENANAweqJl9rZrQ
523Please respect copyright.PENANAu7laCBnnnc
我:人工閪😏523Please respect copyright.PENANARhMCfsWOvu
523Please respect copyright.PENANAjIpckYsEGg
Annie:😳😳523Please respect copyright.PENANAU3aOBm5prr
523Please respect copyright.PENANA1UErhNhSJ8
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊523Please respect copyright.PENANAc8Tk2ZSd5a
523Please respect copyright.PENANAoz2Udm6W9f
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?