在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF90oNZfS7K
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNQPeyoWrq
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR9ge6pvcb
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GUJgbAoDx
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6cKa5z2km
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq1svkFfmw
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnVhuwXlqS
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNizCjPG5Vy
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8cj6ZCRXB
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJSTz01KMN
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡph4ebClAFt
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZliOQTSoq
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ866sBUcQRr
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcaZAnug0k
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn2sKs74hZ
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqvNEQ8IAS
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iLPan41Ls
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnO5DcKBgpp
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRO0CDGPkoW
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLvdg1aTFC
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKsOvd6e4X
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjhSbndjuX
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoHJTVGsHR
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtv0dis2myp
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRa0lvN0Q1
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxKAY8Z0Qk
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcab3O7BfZ
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCSP0VpvBI
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPodwAkv9t
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxqCYayvP5
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFZ63Pyjkl
Annie：我真係好自卑523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaAntvyBLU
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2GrHu4nEg
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA16f7yraC
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNma3rQAZcn
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWqaC6Bhjr
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurHomuMQpZ
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡic5Z3ABVSr
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndol3NWpBS
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmVZAdulrS
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfJYwqNyyw
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLu5JZjHaiE
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoV1ukUJZsG
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpyyEQxxlA
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfuHPfPwJP
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbS77NZTPR
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaZ2nQjjtE
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp6QbCjsDN
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75Ey1gf8t2
我：我好想食豬扒飯。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgB91eTZNF2
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C7Ty4rbmS
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡij4O9EOCOk
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDr3CBbwvT
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukEueTaFCM
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfvlTh4owD
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTSRyj7tUW
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKvzbtKNTy
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihoSq9obS3
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogSFYJtNEv
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOkkHBuiwO
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYsiWdD6qs
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT75cCuHfJ
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFCCcURjmu
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8orZrR4dl
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMywmLDm38
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyd9hl4jkU
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80FUoWFo82
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXBNrOWa09
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLU5aIGMmh
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2G7tVdWFo
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGgi7sa8Hw
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5AyEUFIut
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNB7m2T2CB5
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSQ3BTptty
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCAF6g1fcl
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjF6qi6VfS
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaXgC9IJV7
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaG32pR71cq
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWPxNv75N8
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmFJQlkxgP
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZxRc4tPvO
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN5fX3erfG
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1qpuo13X5
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6A3TbZ6Kc
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC1gceiSMn
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNF4wX3CDp
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53yF3dAUWl
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ymqmwj9ru
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtS2XCMfADu
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd2jxVN7x6
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEIeK1zwKf
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRD6WOvtMWa
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aWY6A4YX6
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGJ1zPwLSK
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltUwwxoFpc
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaujGb6qsLh
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSATOnV5Cs
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGwLt19r1G
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIRWIorN8h
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YmhW9Urlf
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLGePGpdOS
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eScHBbVLI
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePAgdMn3Yo
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVT7xp7bJs
我：我憑直覺亂估咋523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAC2MAqK7Q
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjsFziRQRL
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4V8eFRSLn
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsiqQcy8ZO
我思索了一會，然後回覆。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqae36BhqYS
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklFG1mlTNx
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaevmVuOtT
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7s0DZByBS
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPWUoG8ioJ
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKVnImVmUy
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCCuk7cayZ
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcgp4ddoX6
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOwpwgKwUc
我：你本身都係bi？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkrgF4BWAd
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07qehgGf2z
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tPPDd4PUx
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9Hm0N8YTG
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0M0i6c4ms
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21EHBMJFx8
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweqJl9rZrQ
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7laCBnnnc
我：人工閪😏523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhMCfsWOvu
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIpckYsEGg
Annie：😳😳523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3aOBm5prr
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UErhNhSJ8
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8Tk2ZSd5a
523Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz2Udm6W9f
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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