A Kiss To Change It All (Part 25) - Montgomery de la Cruz
Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader; Montgomery de la Cruz x Reader
Warning: Mention of death. Angst at points.
Word count: A little over 2000.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErx2DG1HsD
The news came like a bolt out of the blue. It was unexpected and shocking. Hannah was dead. She took her own life. When Miss Bradley announced what happened on Monday afternoon, the whole room went silent for the rest of the class, none of us, daring to speak. You should have guessed, you should have been there for her. But you didn’t and there was no way you were going to change anything now that she was gone. You felt guilty and you couldn’t help it. « She was so sweet and loving, why did she do that? »
« Sweetheart… »
« Jeff, she killed herself because she had had enough of everything! Lord knows what pushed her to do such a thing! » After hours of silence, you were loudly crying and blaming yourself for something you couldn’t stop because Hannah knew it was meant to be that way.
Your best friend eventually managed to calm you a little bit, ceasing your crying. « Will you be fine? » He asked when you parked your car in front of his house.
« Don’t worry, Jeffereykins, I’m feeling better now. » You kissed his cheek and drove away to your house, thankful that none of your parents would be home at this hour. As you proceeded to open the front door, something caught your attention, a box sitting on the doormat, with just your name is written on it with a black sharpie. ’What’s that?’ You wondered picking it up as you pushed your front door open and entered the house. There were no stamps, no expeditor, nothing. Someone must have put it there directly. Sitting in your desk chair, you carefully cut open the paper wrapping what seems to be an old shoebox. You didn’t know what to expect inside of it, so you backed up while you took the lid off and to your surprise, there was a letter on top of whatever was inside. You instantly recognized Hannah’s beautiful handwriting. ’No no no it can’t be from her...’ But it was.
‘Dear (Y/N),
You must be wondering what is in this box and why you have it.
But before I tell you anything, I wanted to thank you, for the few moments of calmness and happiness you and Jeff gave me while I was still there. The efforts Jeff put in helping Clay to make a move on me. The bits of advice you gave me. The many times you listened to me even when I was doing things wrong.
Everything, really.
You are a beautiful girl, inside and out. Your smile and kindness could warm the coldest hearts, Montgomery is proof that I am not saying nonsense to you.
Now for the part, you want to know. This box has thirteen reasons why my life ended. People that were involved in the slow process of me reaching the decision of taking my own life. You must think that it is wrong and I should not have done this, you are right but there was nothing left of me worth continuing to live. I am sorry for what I did but you will know why I did all of this and you will know that Jeff’s accident could have been avoided.
The only instruction I am going to give you is to pass this box to the first one on the tapes and to keep the letter for you.
Thank you again,
Hannah.’
Tears were once again covering your cheeks like a waterfall, some landing on the light pink paper, smudging the blue ink at some parts. You quickly gathered your thoughts and moved to grab the old cassette player from the attic, you thanked yourself when you decided not to throw it away when Jeff was helping you clean out your bedroom a few years back. ’One day, Jeffereykins, this will make a comeback and you’ll be jealous I own one.’ You wished you had to use it for something else than this.
Sitting on your bed, you pulled the first tape and placed it inside before pressing the play button, Hannah’s voice filling your room, making you jump, caught off guard. “Hey! It’s Hannah. Hannah Baker…” The rest went quickly, you listened to the side after side, tape after tape, swallowing the hard moments Hannah had to get through on her own, with no one to complain to, no one to ease things a little bit. You were about to start listening to the second side of the fifth tape when you heard a knock on your door. “Sweetie, we’re home.”
“Hey, dad.”
“What’s my beautiful daughter up to?”
“Uh… Listening to some history tapes Clay gave me today.”
Your dad chuckled. “Kids these days still use tapes?” You nodded with a soft smile. “Fascinating.” He added. “I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”
“Thanks, dad.” He closed the door and you proceeded to flip the fifth tape to get to Hannah’s tenth reason. Before you pressed once more the play button, you felt your stomach hurt in pain, remembering what Hannah said before your father entered your room. Jessica. She had no idea of what happened. She couldn’t fight back. You weren’t allowed to tell anything to any of the people on the tapes before they listened to them themselves.
You took a deep breath, somehow finding the strength to continue listening to the other side of the fifth tape. The one that quickly made your blood boil in anger. The one that made you jump off your bed and punch the nearest wall out of rage. “Bitch!” You growled. Your phone buzzed on your bed. “Not the right moment Tony, really not!” You grabbed your jacket and stormed out of your room.
“Where are you going?” Your mother was standing behind you and spoke before you couldn’t even open the front door. “(Y/N), where are you going?”
“Sheri needs me, it’s important.”
You didn’t allow her to say anything else and you were out of the house, walking as fast as your legs could. Driving wasn’t an option considering the state you were currently in, so you walked, ran at moments, trying to get to Sheri’s house as soon as you could but before you could cross the street, just two blocks away from her house, you were pulled back on the sidewalk. “What are you doing this late outside?”
“None of your business.” Yanking your arm away from his hold, you tried to push past him but of course, you couldn’t no matter what you did, moving on the left, he did the same, on the right, the same pattern. “Leave me alone, Monty!”
“You’re clearly pissed, so no, I’m not going anywhere.” His calm tone was beyond irritating to your already tensed nerves, he was wasting your time. “What’s going on?”
“I said it’s none of your freaking business, Montgomery. So, move I have somewhere to be!” You didn’t leave him many options, sighing, he took a step towards you and in one movement, you found yourself thrown over his shoulder, wiggling but unable to free yourself from his stronghold. “Put me down, Cruz! I don’t want to go with you!” You kept hitting his back, but he didn’t let off you, he didn’t even flinch.
“Actually, I’m not asking if you want to go with me, princess.” He opened the passenger door and carefully made you sit on the seat. “Don’t you dare go anywhere!” You didn’t. He drove away pretty fast, worried that you might want to get out if he waited some more. “What’s going on?” Silence. “You’re mad about something…” Silence again. You knew he was going to get crazy if you didn’t talk. “Is it because of what Hannah did?”
“I’m with you, so don’t push it too far, Cruz.”
“Damn it, you can get stubborn when you try, (Y/N).”
Lifting an eyebrow up, you shot him a glare. “Learnt from the master of stubbornness, don’t blame me.” With this, you turned your face away from him, looking at the scenery that was fast scrolling before your eyes. Despite being beyond angry, you couldn’t help but remember the long late-night rides he took you on, the ones he took you on when you couldn’t sleep, the ones you went on when he suddenly wanted fast food in the middle of the night, often dragging you out of your bed in nothing but your pajamas and a coat, the ones that were sometimes filled with silence because he wasn’t in the mood for talking but still needed you to be with him, and that were some other times filled with laughter and old songs that the two of you sang on top of your lungs. You have been turned away from your thoughts when you realized the car stopped moving and Montgomery was leaning against the side of the hood, arms crossed over his chest. “Why did you bring us here?”
“Because I know this place makes you feel better.” One point for the heartbreaker. The sound of the water and the fact that there was no one but the two of you always had a soothing effect on you, even tonight when the only thing you wanted to do was to kill Sheri for what she did. “Talk to me, (Y/N).”
You shook your head. “There’s nothing to talk about…”
“So why are you so pissed?”
“Stop asking questions you know you won’t get an answer for.”
He nervously laughed, resting his arms on the opened window of the door. Payback could be a bitch sometimes: this time was tonight. “Gosh, are you still thinking about that?”
Rolling your eyes, you looked away from him, calming the sudden urge to yell at him by staring at the still water. “If you weren’t so vague in your explanations, maybe I could think about something else, Cruz.”
“Drop it, (Y/N), I’m serious.”
Your head snapped back in his direction. “Make me.”
“(Y/N), you won’t get anything good out of this so please, for the sake of everything we had…” He stopped, his voice breaking a little. “Let go of it, I’m begging you.” Montgomery reached the point of begging, he had no other choice, you would get hurt if the truth came out, if you found anything about what pushed him to break up with you. “Will you stop digging?”
“I’ll do but first answer my question.” Shifting on the seat, you were now a few inches away from his face, he tensed at the small distance separating you. “Please, we’ve been closer than this, Cruz.”
He chuckled. “You’re really something different, you know that?”
“Been told so a few times.”
“Shoot your question, (Y/L/N).”
“Have you ever lied to me when we were still together?”
“Never.” It came quick. You had no doubt over this, and right now, you could read the look in his eyes. “I never wanted to lose you, (Y/N)…” He brushed away the hair covering your cheek, resting his warm hand on it. “And I knew that one wrong move, you wouldn’t hesitate to leave so yeah, I was honest with you from the beginning.” Your eyes shifted away from his and became shining with a thick layer of tears that, once you blinked, landed on your cheeks and inevitably on his hand like tiny diamonds. His heart sank. You bite tightly your lower lip to prevent the loud sob from escaping your lips making his heart sink in his chest. What followed was much needed at that moment, he opened the door and his strong body engulfed you in a wave of warmth and safety, a tight hug in which you could almost hear his heartbeat inside his chest, making you forget about the reason why you stormed out of your house in the first place.
“I’ll stop, Monty.” You mumbled as you pulled away from him. “If that’s what you want then I won’t do anything anymore.” It was certainly the hardest decision you took in your whole entire life and giving up on this felt like you were giving up on being happy again. “Even if I did nothing, to begin with.” You sniffled making him smile.
“Good…” He whispered as he pressed a kiss on your forehead. “You good now?”
“Yeah, Monty, I’m good.” You didn’t forget about Sheri but sure you were going to get back at her later as for now, you were enjoying the quiet moment with the one you used to call yours just a few weeks back. Maybe it was the last time you would be with each other like this. Maybe not. At that point, you stopped thinking about the future because so many unexpected events happened when you thought everything was getting back to normal. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, princess.”
You smiled. “Still with this one?”
“Always. You’ll always be my princess, (Y/N/N)”
ns216.73.216.25da2
