896Please respect copyright.PENANAL9N3pTEAoF
三十分鐘前,我在一個有半個游泳池咁大的浴缸洗完澡,那裡水深約半米,我可以放鬆自己,浮在浴缸,看著雪白色的大理石天花板思考人生。896Please respect copyright.PENANAzLLffLadV9
896Please respect copyright.PENANAWhx7ARnota
講到要思考人生,其實又有什麼要思考呢?或者我應該想想自己四十多年的人生都在幹什麼?前日如夢一般的驚魂夜?盧卡斯的傷勢?阿花想要我幹什麼?靚妹女僕為什麼會懂法文?還是說,畢加索為何能夠用短短一小時將潦倒的我塑造成一個成功人士?896Please respect copyright.PENANAgw1doKUs5v
896Please respect copyright.PENANArAkcY7fd8D
應該因為他是一個好撚勁的髮形師吧?896Please respect copyright.PENANAZp6OwEcax9
896Please respect copyright.PENANABG9bgO4LN6
被他理過髮後,我覺得只有這種人才有資格被稱為髮形師,幾百蚊剪一個頭的頂多也只能稱為飛髮佬,而收四十蚊提供十分鐘快剪服務,即是我對上十幾次所幫襯剪髮連鎖店裡的,大概應該稱之為剪草員。896Please respect copyright.PENANADlA7P12ZkY
896Please respect copyright.PENANAqdEHmtWOZX
我打開I Phone,用前置鏡頭看看自己的衰樣,其實個樣已經一D都唔鳩衰,我甚至懷疑畫面中的人是誰,看來陳錦波還未能接受自己的全新形象,你話我自戀都係咁話,我而家真係好好好好好撚有型。896Please respect copyright.PENANAqQQy3nF5nt
896Please respect copyright.PENANAdhjhgZfduE
人靠衣裝,佛靠金裝,未必盡是對的,現在我只轉了個髮型,已經成個人唔同哂,我不能想像再穿上訂造西裝的自己有幾成功,有幾有型,幾鳩咁威,幾鳩咁靚仔。896Please respect copyright.PENANA6hWwC7jAif
896Please respect copyright.PENANACxmXZriADt
可能是我多心有幻覺,或是真有其事,洗完澡後靚妹女僕幫我梳頭時,我感覺到她的表現多了一份尊重,整整二十分鐘吹頭的過程當中,她沒有再用那有禮中帶點輕佻的語氣跟我說話,眼神也不再像之前,整個過程中,她是專注,認真,以及嚴謹的。896Please respect copyright.PENANA0mM31D3KtE
896Please respect copyright.PENANAab91M7ABmF
當然有可能是為了專心一致地梳好我的頭,所以才會有這樣的表現,但我依然覺得她的態度確實有著明顯的改變,不管真實答案是怎樣,這樣想會使我心情好D,所以咪鳩同我拗喇,我鐘意點諗就點諗,完全唔鳩關你,唔鳩關靚妹女僕或是任何一個人事。896Please respect copyright.PENANAEpgAYu7ex2
896Please respect copyright.PENANAPXKDlpLaPE
她用了二十分鐘梳好我的頭,正面看看我,確認自己的工作已一絲不苟地完成後,就粒聲唔出執拾梳頭用的工具。896Please respect copyright.PENANASdkMb4UTD1
896Please respect copyright.PENANAjwAmDSOdBn
雖然她沒有下一步的指示或要求,但我想都想到接下來要做的就只有一件事,就是等那個身家過億的超級富豪來臨,親自向我發出下一步的命令。896Please respect copyright.PENANAOwbjlOeXGO
896Please respect copyright.PENANAxeFJwYUv6o
所以我沒有問靚妹女僕什麼,安守本份地坐在床上。896Please respect copyright.PENANAt4SLO4CQ2D
896Please respect copyright.PENANA9XteNS3n9o
坦白說,對於自己這個舉動,我是驚訝的。896Please respect copyright.PENANAyswy57yMcT
896Please respect copyright.PENANAhxmoAuxtzD
感覺上髮型換了,就好像連靈魂都換了一樣,換作舊陳錦波,應該會向靚妹問一大餐,又或是搏機會率,向她要求找個大波妹全套揼骨連出火。896Please respect copyright.PENANA3DzrjpKCja
896Please respect copyright.PENANA5jv78mMSFM
但我沒有這樣做。896Please respect copyright.PENANAtEEeWEwFOA
896Please respect copyright.PENANAwyLQ3C4tKs
講真,我認為自己現在就好像林肯,華盛頓或是孫中山等等名人一樣。896Please respect copyright.PENANAOCSXdX5nP8
896Please respect copyright.PENANAxLPyNjXzgv
你話佢地會唔會問人:「可唔可以幫我出火?」又或者「幾錢一Q?」一定唔會囉!896Please respect copyright.PENANAsCaza5zLgD
896Please respect copyright.PENANA3SOC0H0h5i
嗯……啊……其實都可能會既……896Please respect copyright.PENANA50LKotWerS
896Please respect copyright.PENANAIMM243oEjA
屌,是但啦,總之我唔撚會咁做,新陳錦波係絕對(暫時)唔鳩會咁做,OK?896Please respect copyright.PENANAy7uLGjCm2U
896Please respect copyright.PENANAsXrN4D03M4
896Please respect copyright.PENANANE0aGaXY1z
大約十分鐘後,一絲一掛的靚妹一臉羞澀地下床,執拾被掉到地上的女僕裝快速地穿好,故作冷淡卻帶著含情脈脈地回頭望我一眼,然後快速離開房間。896Please respect copyright.PENANAFRtggToe2h
896Please respect copyright.PENANAndJlZ1A6WE
而我就穿好浴袍,走到房間角落的小雪櫃前,看著裡面的飲品,有啤酒,汽水,礦泉水……我二話不說就取走最有品味的有汽礦泉水,這附合我現在的身份。896Please respect copyright.PENANAZJa6UdMYkF
896Please respect copyright.PENANAERjc75sOCg
回到梳化,我扭開樽蓋,一記爽快的「滋~」一聲隨即響起,我一邊品嘗著不太喝得慣的有汽礦泉水,一邊將焦點回到電視。896Please respect copyright.PENANAH7CwzXmbh5
896Please respect copyright.PENANAIfjir1iean
它正播著一套不知名的美劇,看來並不有趣,而且師奶成份甚重,看兩眼我就拿起遙控開始轉台。896Please respect copyright.PENANAzwKpq9P8qO
896Please respect copyright.PENANAzrSSfrSmVy
香港得果兩個台,而事實上真係播緊節目既就只有一個,但依個台通常都係播埋D黃X藍扮女人的所謂綜藝,結局永遠BBQ的劇集,是是但但的新聞,成為富豪富婆舞台的慈善節目……所以簡單D黎講,睇得入眼既節目就只有零個!896Please respect copyright.PENANAH1RLwlu3Dh
896Please respect copyright.PENANA6FeZgAQ0CX
可能美國佬無遠見,完全唔注重電視台太多會出現「不健康競爭」,所以美國有好多個電視台。896Please respect copyright.PENANAKA2SynDgy7
896Please respect copyright.PENANAE097AZP7ff
我不停轉台,最後其中一個台所播的新聞吸引了我的眼球,是今日下午我所牽涉,又或是因我而起那場遊行的最新情況。896Please respect copyright.PENANAyYgXQ2mxU3
896Please respect copyright.PENANAsJa1dzfCoM
按報導,之所以有大群亞洲人群起遊行,目的是要求芝加哥市長關注市內3K黨以及其他鬼佬對亞洲人的歧視所引起的種種事件。896Please respect copyright.PENANAgMGKKGPh71
896Please respect copyright.PENANA7MVJP5cpRJ
其實我不明白他們為何要在成吉思汗殺了兩個3K黨後才出來遊行,要遊行其實早就可以行動吧?896Please respect copyright.PENANALil455pLKw
896Please respect copyright.PENANASgSIm55dtJ
難道因為終於有人走出來替他們伸張「正義」,所以膽都壯一點嗎?896Please respect copyright.PENANAUK8lHJbIxQ
896Please respect copyright.PENANA3egjlDUBjH
看來他們的膽真的壯大了,甚至乎壯得太大,因為他們已經開始在市中心與一批武裝警察發生衝突。896Please respect copyright.PENANAUDPmXPDjNv
896Please respect copyright.PENANAvLonPRhtDT
起初他們並沒有燒車呔之類的行動,但拋石頭,用木棍反擊還是少不免。896Please respect copyright.PENANAlP5As64HmC
896Please respect copyright.PENANANLh8n61clE
在前線有一排人,閱人無數的我眼力不錯,兩眼就知道他們是韓國仔與越南仔的混合戰線,他們非常狼死,對武裝警察的盾用拳,用腳,用棍進行瘋狂攻擊。896Please respect copyright.PENANATdVdlBQSA2
896Please respect copyright.PENANAbmbExsKoYI
其後武裝警察開始推前戰線,驅趕示威人群,一班越南仔立即發難,開始推倒警車又燒車呔,以及打爆店鋪玻璃打劫,雙方武力隨即升級,引起混亂。896Please respect copyright.PENANAawxWRvzk1a
896Please respect copyright.PENANAeTZpNqhe5a
「嘩,好暴力,好唔文明囉!」896Please respect copyright.PENANAnmp4UAn9al
896Please respect copyright.PENANAMRJJ5PIJW5
「一打人就比理由警察開槍清場架喇!」896Please respect copyright.PENANARtkQO4B6YP
896Please respect copyright.PENANAxUoBnsxXsE
如果我是個土生土長,天真可愛的香港人,應該就會說出以上的話。可惜今次令各位失望了,實在對唔鳩柒閪撚住,因為理性和平對我來說根本是一督屎!896Please respect copyright.PENANAZWB2l5DKL3
896Please respect copyright.PENANA2m2zdmZmM1
我以前是個江湖中人,讀書唔多,道理我勉強都聽得明,但文明理性依D野對我黎講真係戇鳩鳩。896Please respect copyright.PENANAHBSfLeP4fy
896Please respect copyright.PENANA0AOXzSBBgc
以前出黎行古惑的時候,有無人會舉高雙手同人講數?896Please respect copyright.PENANAh8bke3e08A
896Please respect copyright.PENANAFj7xX0Fm5P
即係我舉高雙手,然後同隔黎社團喪鷹講:896Please respect copyright.PENANAox55lO7yQ6
896Please respect copyright.PENANAV5nx4AlI1t
「梁生,其實我想話你琴日搵人黎踩我場真係一個唔好既決定,你知唔知我地既損失真係好大架?希望你唔好再擴充你既地盤,令我地難做啦。」896Please respect copyright.PENANAaxJPKPKbZP
896Please respect copyright.PENANApM0SUz3bbL
然後佢就會話:「你既意見,我地已經收到喇,但其實我地社團就依件事已經作出左兩個星期既內部資詢,衡量過後,我地社團應該有能力應乎今次既發展。所以今次既計劃已經得到我地社團佔八成以上既票數支持,絕對係合情,合理同埋合法既。相反你而家非法入侵我既私人地方搵我,依件事就完全唔合理喇,我希望你可以用合法既方式黎表代自己既訴求。」896Please respect copyright.PENANAgam3DxnaeL
896Please respect copyright.PENANAuf39K5Vwyg
然後我又將一封請願信交予喪鷹:「可能我係進入左你既私人地方,但我咁做,都係為左尋求一次對話既機會,而且我無對你進行任何暴力行動,所以希望你可以接受我地社團既訴求,依封係我地既請願信。」896Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2iDtVCKac
896Please respect copyright.PENANAykeQlKiIck
「好,我接受你既信件,就你地既訴求,我地社團會進行新一輪既討論,並且盡快回覆。」896Please respect copyright.PENANAqD3ZMyvmvz
896Please respect copyright.PENANAdpbYhJEum1
喪鷹接過我的請願信後,我們兩人就此握手,期待事情下一步有更好的發展。896Please respect copyright.PENANAMcL1rpwTBC
896Please respect copyright.PENANAmACQTr77Ty
如果你覺得講數係咁撚樣既話?我真係無野好講,話你戇鳩驚你嬲,咪話阿叔唔教精你,講數唔係咁撚樣既!896Please respect copyright.PENANAwSKuBhJKLH
896Please respect copyright.PENANAVHveAwHex4
896Please respect copyright.PENANADLtGKxuZa8
講數應該係咁撚樣架!戇鳩仔!896Please respect copyright.PENANAWpariThJNG
896Please respect copyright.PENANAC6HU9IBVaj
雄哥帶著約十個人,手持武器,格硬殺入喪鷹竇口,雄哥走到喪鷹面前,一腳踢開擋在前面的凳,第一句就屌柒喪鷹老母:896Please respect copyright.PENANAIgNckqBcFz
896Please respect copyright.PENANAfhugSTz61N
「喪鷹!我屌你老母啊!搞鳩我個場!?」896Please respect copyright.PENANAIwiY0jHtTK
896Please respect copyright.PENANAV6sVbV5HIf
聽罷喪鷹冷笑一聲,聲大夾惡而且胸有成竹地回應:「係啊!咁又點撚樣啊!?我唔只搞你一個場,遲D我搞鳩你成個區添啊!閤家產!」896Please respect copyright.PENANAFbQ7T4o3nj
896Please respect copyright.PENANA9WV5DZZEd1
雄哥接過我交上的大哥大,再中氣十足地威脅道:「好啊!咁睇下你搞惦我個場,定我搞惦你條女先!?」896Please respect copyright.PENANAkGSlUJjpOO
896Please respect copyright.PENANAkfcAXnOFfM
喪鷹原本皺著的左邊眉頭隨即抽動幾下,故作鎮定地怒吼:「乜撚野女?你拋鳩我啊!?」896Please respect copyright.PENANAgXZYMWAdp5
896Please respect copyright.PENANA5wTrWAUsI3
同時間,雄哥已撥通大哥大,將其掉向喪鷹,看起來已穩操勝券地說:896Please respect copyright.PENANAsXvawrOtq2
896Please respect copyright.PENANALeEz2Tfeex
「你自己聽下咪知囉!到時睇下邊個先係閤家產?」896Please respect copyright.PENANA0EXaCyQVMS
896Please respect copyright.PENANA81enfD0Umd
接過電話,喪鷹臉色由黑轉紅,紅轉青,掛線後激動得連聲音都在抖顫,勉強低聲下氣地向雄哥說:896Please respect copyright.PENANAZyOgrXsDpH
896Please respect copyright.PENANA4obTRp6hgx
「阿雄……唔好玩咁大啊……禍不及妻兒……」896Please respect copyright.PENANAeIkt0Rpfal
896Please respect copyright.PENANAL5aytXf4qS
乘著氣氛,雄哥當然食住上,攞到盡,立即大大聲怒屌:896Please respect copyright.PENANAf7KM69kiOs
896Please respect copyright.PENANAXIjd67GJIA
「我屌你老母啊,你老婆就係人?我琴日比你斬到爆哂缸果幾個兄弟就唔撚係人!?」896Please respect copyright.PENANAzuhbppBIe0
896Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZVHrBLjpV
就這樣,喪鷹的氣勢已跌到谷底,如同待宰羔羊,等待雄哥發落:「等等…雄哥……萬事有商量……我地可以再傾下……」896Please respect copyright.PENANAbvBoQQVNXT
896Please respect copyright.PENANAtxI0sgaGCQ
事實就係咁撚樣,依件事絕對係真人真事,事後喪鷹唔敢再搞雄哥,無幾耐重比人拉左落馬,聽人講結局重死得好慘。896Please respect copyright.PENANAWdUM0IjpaG
896Please respect copyright.PENANAKTXh5T6dUh
896Please respect copyright.PENANAfZckc2fulF
所以你同我講,話和平?理性?你估雄哥真係走去交完請願信會點?你覺得喪鷹事後真係會開會?然後比個完滿既答覆雄哥,話:896Please respect copyright.PENANAM726UfyESh
896Please respect copyright.PENANAA5RASiCW25
「雄先生,經過新一輪既討論,我地發現今次既擴張確實有唔少地方準備不足,對貴社團造成唔少不便,所以我方將會終止今次既計劃,對貴社團造成影響,實在萬份抱歉。」896Please respect copyright.PENANAVKDI6Gn18E
896Please respect copyright.PENANAIB5oaM9Ezm
屌你老母都戇鳩鳩,你唔係真係咁天真,覺得喪鷹會咁撚樣講啊?發你個春夢啦!戇鳩閪!896Please respect copyright.PENANAhsFRglxdZN
896Please respect copyright.PENANA4dfsxmt0DY
896Please respect copyright.PENANAISnCrNoINt
當時雄哥同我講過一段說話,到依家我依然一字一句記得清清楚楚:896Please respect copyright.PENANAlog8ZWenA4
896Please respect copyright.PENANADJSFLTog9M
「阿波,我話鳩過你知!我做左咁閪多年人,發覺其實世界就只有一個道理,一條規則!一句講哂:「人就係唔撚見棺材,就唔閪會流眼淚!」所以同人講數,就一定要帶埋個棺材去!無論邊閪個都好,只要一見鳩到個棺材,佢地就自自然然會同你講道理嫁喇!」896Please respect copyright.PENANAP0fuf3tJhb
896Please respect copyright.PENANADBwdlXcdCn
雖然我開始做M記之後,就開始睇書,思想慢慢與世界接軌,但雄哥這套道理,即使到現在,對我來說還是有鐵一般道理的。896Please respect copyright.PENANANcsJO9N7iC
896Please respect copyright.PENANAeEhYIado8S
回想起在香港,高鐵,國民教育,王維基開不了台,還有每年七一,我們都會遊行,但成功爭取的又有多少次?896Please respect copyright.PENANAXK1O5VAHNb
896Please respect copyright.PENANACtZ03GIgFS
在這方面,相信民建聯絕對比我們多。896Please respect copyright.PENANAODwdzRg5Qp
896Please respect copyright.PENANAvJX9dyvRaf
為什麼會這樣?因為我們人不夠多?不夠誠意?道理不在我們這一邊?當然不是。896Please respect copyright.PENANAusVrvBhM9L
896Please respect copyright.PENANAPXFapA0Pvs
因為我們太鳩有文明鳥!896Please respect copyright.PENANASWt9ziCJEa
896Please respect copyright.PENANAIZZ9B8sV27
我們文明到相信大家有能力,可以在不帶棺材的情況下達成目的。896Please respect copyright.PENANApGqxTzHkUQ
896Please respect copyright.PENANAIghlksTL9u
可是你不帶棺材是你的事,在你相信對方都會以禮相待的時候,其實對方正一步一步哄騙你乖乖躺進棺材裡。896Please respect copyright.PENANAHCjmACgGdw
896Please respect copyright.PENANAbhNXJafTIM
當你意識到這一切的時候,希望跳出去打佢一鑊金的時候,已經太遲了,你再沒有這個機會,因為棺都已經封了,而且埋在五十米下的地底。896Please respect copyright.PENANAAmtoyOW4FJ
896Please respect copyright.PENANAL3H2vZl6bp
到時候,你可以做的就只有一件事,就是一邊回想自己從前戇鳩鳩失去過多少次良機,一邊乖乖地等死。896Please respect copyright.PENANAnx3nxP6DbF
896Please respect copyright.PENANAMKQla5cBVA
又或者你會相信對方最後會良心發現將你拯救,但我只能說戇鳩到最後一刻,也許是一種福氣。896Please respect copyright.PENANAiL1v6kD42g
896Please respect copyright.PENANApCyff5A1bd
896Please respect copyright.PENANA0NFSXbi6hZ
所以我認同韓國仔與越南仔的做法,看著眾勇士如何展示自己的威武,被胡椒噴霧顏射當食生菜,並且猛力瘋狂反擊,甚至令我懷疑那支是胡椒噴霧還是忌廉。896Please respect copyright.PENANAUhKyml15Bn
896Please respect copyright.PENANAeTNbQ9PURe
示威群後排的華人邊走避邊食花生,雖然我也在食花生,不過不同的是,我正安坐在一所超級豪宅裡,喝著高貴的有汽礦泉水食花生。896Please respect copyright.PENANAWvZIBUHGo7
896Please respect copyright.PENANAtpBA7HDwMp
鏡頭一轉,見到已是以剛剛前線最狼死的越南仔為首,一班人被制服拘捕的畫面。896Please respect copyright.PENANAmetrn5sKuQ
896Please respect copyright.PENANAfby6SWBXu4
主播接著講解,市長在騷亂過後快速反應,就一班亞洲人的要求發出公開聲明,表示會盡快進行改善,承諾徹查3K黨的暴力事件,即時頒令芝加哥警察部重點執法,以及計劃向某個亞洲移民援助機構加大撥款,得到滿意的回覆,在市中心的亞洲人群就開始散去。896Please respect copyright.PENANAoSklcLJrTP
896Please respect copyright.PENANAEWq86VP0zc
雖然在香港的話我並不會相信這個承諾,但這裡是美國,可信度應該是可接受水平的。896Please respect copyright.PENANA5zftoo5WMA
896Please respect copyright.PENANAEc0stsV6rO
而且承諾沒有兌現的話,對市長應該也有著某程度上的壓力。896Please respect copyright.PENANAcnmFFDZknT
896Please respect copyright.PENANAGgVIWIn5dn
若果近期出現亞洲人被害,又不好好執法的事件的話,亞洲人肯定會站出來,到時人將會更多,行動亦會升級。896Please respect copyright.PENANASUKgpuj9vK
896Please respect copyright.PENANAwLxGeAzBoX
市長的職位凍過水之餘,他在政治界的地位名聲都會受到損害。896Please respect copyright.PENANAozhItrq1PK
896Please respect copyright.PENANAMKDyezRY9r
看到這裡,主播已開始報下一段新聞,而客房的門也打開了,望過去,果然億萬富豪阿花已經來到,她面無表情地望著我,打量著我,看來對於我的新形象,她也感到有點驚奇吧。896Please respect copyright.PENANARtNMxIAXUH
896Please respect copyright.PENANAwiFXxzuAH6
896Please respect copyright.PENANAJxGJAyfsgb
好,我已經準備好鳥!看看偉人——新陳錦波接下來會遇到什麼新挑戰吧!
896Please respect copyright.PENANA56vImYE0sL
896Please respect copyright.PENANAFDRFyN1GCD