Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63yYUELYyw
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgwU79rgyB
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjbVZWTTRG
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzNWrdvQ6z
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP587gMZMUc
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRch41QUZvC
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LvUYSL3Mu
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUT1Sx1xVu
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEWxaYTUle
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBWzonciXr
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc2t7KP6OA
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsnlDakOA4
as long as you stay here with me629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdP1mFTcZF
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrhixwtKqm
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM0pL77JlY
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1ZyJDvvfV
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YDbBEzzP0
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllJ6uRw8vC
This has to stop.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCWvso47tc
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCDavELG2K
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbQ6qQAjH9
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXq1ewaazj
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0sMbsdJ8N
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22vX5pausW
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkePm5i15n
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEpsyF91Lz
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XuBEl8F66
"Are you okay?"629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxE6ZHslkR
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqi1cxKeab
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeUaYvXSlz
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIC4yhDyX4F
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbLopJ6le9
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qaqcQsZFD
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKW2EXl9hA
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG48vJvYA75
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfByk3MDa8
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGh6AaxO5xS
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWhb5YlyLM
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgODpRo60XK
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zfTPhjkgb
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CnGp0x0ZF
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCLJs1lQf9
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3jEnTlm77
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFsRtJM27B
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh8l4OEPFB
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHvgtHXTAC
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA7MKh3puT
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTW7Z3Af0S
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFniTMAehV
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcsEVEc7Mq
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4BPlGxXri
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT3AyP1Np6
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22J2truX0Z
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPITmJPODR
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFrcc6vnfX
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2gKJ6F2Pc
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwjmhyWTf9
"Yes, you can."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a4xEXBiQm
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXArtAuqH7
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKaRIvO6E8
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGzXhkyBEs
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5des2UOdL
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYS2Dqhjht
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c3eXbEnMl
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAZ1PPFGtH
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PthDWsaea
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSPNQZeLsg
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ObRE0zcL4
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs9gAIuWZx
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb1ybiqbbM
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZEW3O4fBe
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8KiVIlbZa
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBnR4LZXZw
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7h5Jl8s01
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm2h4867pe
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGyy3hrH9Q
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZufdg91yl
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2nSPJBXaP
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1WY7S3mRj
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYALnLRzTp
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMb4q4JmCP
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16ygeX97Ft
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xuTJJoS0V
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44G3wWvXcD
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe24FQSqamO
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2TCmnmo5x
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcok29OtL2m
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrLJTtGAlR
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHBCx905Th
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AEIqEt22V
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRGZ38CBml
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPoeZZpIOq
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkc86uQnDip
"What's wrong?" 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1fyrfIhmY
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClcCg2E3ys
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LNLjXnli1
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI35CnlVMfm
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IUeuDRxjZ
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZByOCcmV5
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMT0lwsmv3
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjc6HK3Wxh
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYsc49RgQt
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3or5n7i7MO
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs5YDfrJdx
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DsBIlNcs9
He gives me a disapproving look.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBWO1GfloA
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDNaTU62ZM
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yPyxzl0Cr
"Are you anorexic?"629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRkGHjB1Fx
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mkqqxCADf
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVv39ioyOG
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC6mEqawyE
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4g3RZKAXX
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJMr3x1zLD
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXUjW61P7p
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PDcRT54Zk
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhGSbpb2CW
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iZwXRIXVD
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKK3Id7fuQ
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRwt24Vwh1
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUdN8KlE2T
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GmHluKWCd
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3QnuBKep1
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjR2mkOHAH
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNACJNqD2jy
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWFRhw1y4G
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ6qidONzh
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yf6pxS2gE
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrxTie4Cu6
I ignore it.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRrqyuKr2e
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoCjZsJ1ZU
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9nczms5EC
"I don't want to get hurt again."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpg50SiInP
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0wkDsIfum
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT1vL3P60k
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggHahmyu2x
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUvl7oHJ5Q
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ua6HI0R6W
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXankLPlmR
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoy9gxDCS6
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDPr9H4RG6
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzaZn6JniE
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxLYi8axu3
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Bj3E5O8Hg
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLPJuAyg13
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2okCpNXLaf
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXTjtQoJ4O
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDsAYsmHmn
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb48d6Z6Nu
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtKg5wRKCe
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5swHkQI3of
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFJTXLQ2DF
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjUHWuG6YI
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TfGCfo0c2
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhPQc9Ydo8
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7SU6XM1xp
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsySCLGQtr
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dsifawaER
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDEwerfJ04
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxARdLjgPn
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2jsaO566L
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIUTOiACVn
***629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm8Add8h3q
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6V2vxBVLs
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGO2HP94LhM
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3O8tamFwtq
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKp4wKgbCz
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Iwywg8FAC
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKM8quFfpiy
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF16dwE12Fh
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDPPcf2wRw
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL1zAeuLbP
He smiles at me.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNE7q8SLYsh
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRmackxkSC
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKzveG41jH
"Sure, hon."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvf5Xy7FYZ
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qptCVQlOZ
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaKhH5w93F
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5LpgqpM4K
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy0fujesha
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFBVPQgws8
The very first ones:629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB8M7rIAJq
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91BEObELFu
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5SlLyxGa9
Hey! I miss you.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzoIRshSwl
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmq2IDvQFHy
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDTA7OY4rP
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9PWCEw6SD
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDIKWrJ9w1
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB9YpF5ZBH
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMTIblLkoR
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51pIbpYDn7
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuFxNdeopi
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIjoKJuGen
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iKWA3SLM2
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6d43QumXI
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrEVsqVbyB
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtGw5WUSaJ
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzRNfLYGjn
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRC4fUISFs4
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcuQGb0U3U
Are you okay?629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOPdjd5JlL
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgfqCAqkTs
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY92n6qKQmI
Did I do something to piss you off?629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4BVx2OPgz
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Jg7whmH1v
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGh7zdiaoVm
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5JjXQPhLP
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSvB2ldpnX
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22lKyN1yD1
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8EBOkGfyW
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QI39u8K9w
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRD3U3v70F2
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlewGihS3RX
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7V2luCuY2
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLt7erjkhB
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabL1yDIiZM
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPg9xOsd4r
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0Eh5ybvei
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkAfyXBh3V
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5u1LsUI6q
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiT7PGSitcy
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtVFiCMpRQ
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwKGup7hdU
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Two weeks before he came to see me. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoSvYerPIY
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Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxq72XFwOw
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwB2X3Y7oS
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I wipe my face quickly.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ49Bh4RXd
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"It's okay. I'm fine."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwpzoGTZEL
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ53oDgHdH
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMKWo3sm4f
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***629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdILEFCdM7r
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EeX4PHm52
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7opGgoiDr
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6CwQJlDBr
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7VdVLZUmS
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xkiXRR1B4
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNoyIpCzpR
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"You finally read my messages," he states.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiyM7oH9P5
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PXmfaaws0
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNxYsrcH8m
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDKjsiIM2R
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzzKHc41gt
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DKTA1JMuA
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20kIzuIS64
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLAqyQksD2
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdJjXMEdxb
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyrhyLmF2F
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uV9JBGAF8
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qvNtWBsB3
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX9jpLzuG3
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUe2eC41km
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW2RSFWYkD
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKloG9uruqX
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSshk1u0Ns
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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