Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60qIaleeb2
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNsh4uanRO
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQwhrti4L1
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzn2L48C7L0
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdniabKrOr
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtnRhGfKN1
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDooVO5wk00
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANNkpGueDx
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UJhSw36Dc
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4KIL5PibS
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmNmBNTrwh
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQpQ0zw9r2
as long as you stay here with me556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Eh61T2sIm
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSkQsUbJcb
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXHktpWdkg
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVce5UzkLN
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVpfmljknA
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmh0iJKfD1
This has to stop.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfYHn8x42Y
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EtVcUXF9J
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0mdpJo5nH
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2XcIcalEs
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvwprkJp07
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cuvFeZqYc
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemLIp5CttW
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwcdNDfCOc
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHot8itdFxe
"Are you okay?"556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡos3Zzgneov
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPoO6Tw7qT
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBZygwnUTP
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmn0Qi63iS
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT39RUocFu7
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZJ4LZ8Fs9
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFAjLT15Hf
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAfKX3530j
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9a37AMFAy4
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnDCy16ohJ
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfsDSwgfJe
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFWpg3rW4x
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfJSE5vaoO
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MBK85h9nG
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5T7Qd3pPmw
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9KtZIZHpC
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Nd2Pdgnxj
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBythY4FDQ
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXq4uFEP2T
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVogFKFzA5
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGgiyCdHGL
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrUV9XC0z9
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIogMhuNyS
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0ShDBRoM0
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0ch4tttcK
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOJhrxF28y
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJyxXqhkCp
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUyVvvp5TM
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Rql7hx7Lp
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc8JTyOjFX
"Yes, you can."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYn8YaG2OW
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag2ZJU5DAa
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn67GfG2LIT
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmPvmtlpF1
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Tb5m9pv1M
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRz2qVFw6X
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47rrYZlxtK
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4e6ESIs6V
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh5wETG358
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkR6jW0LBx
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUtoMFaE1u
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4t4u8L8wk
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFO7FmW5i2
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRvYdbCgfW
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YsgjyAAvY
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZIYMvKnsY
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIPFBXUJ05
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9F9JoGUyL
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGZWGeMYJi
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7kKYMEIEM
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsXwD2rmkN
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YL65PTE26
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuj2SSTvmR0
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4r1RmGNEq
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinJVXCWJlc
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeh1KZNoVdi
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsxNrVlJHo
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJxwpKV1NS
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3F4PwJlqS
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiotGSz77jp
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMJFgJiLp2
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiFhFyHbLb
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXBUExHxSS
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTzEyrxkMI
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLmU7fqvLM
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzDhl97bNo
"What's wrong?" 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡye8tdehpSt
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdO6U7KVfc
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88tFNXRaft
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbqHDKNjJx
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeZg6P5Ycq
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOW2CopfRR
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KAdz3Q04h
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCYqkC0Fz3
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXg8ZhcxGi
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcktikGixyH
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGrYQL6jGz
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCjXn7NCfU
He gives me a disapproving look.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOI8M1f18oo
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUPk3LQLL5
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhG8M8SWbXD
"Are you anorexic?"556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1MwUbTDU3
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNgdKBVyV6
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFnzrVQLaN
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaykzIOvupX
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l5zs1UVy2
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebC7eAbk5x
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0KvUViK38
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUIHj62gI4
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQQPPHzVcL
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbSOmRaeMK
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDcZn6ddI7
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI83foYvZ5r
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F1m2XtufC
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSl9zuc9foR
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuo8BK9zEvk
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzmdBDbd5H
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpAAVz1Czf
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxMBEZvfOQ
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptP3xZsjbn
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjcUtKdbG5
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghbs8hHYqx
I ignore it.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnKpVcLxIO
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM7Vyja5Dr
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4IrYKfEYF
"I don't want to get hurt again."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJMTUdusvm
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5fn4bVUyd
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2g4ywH64s
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiaQxa9MXw
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQZjabLPkx
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzesdRx2ve9
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsYIreCeBP
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxfY7PZ6C0
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04SGZYeoPZ
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT1IXfdbBC
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaTJRn9Tfa
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NZfjGtfxl
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOLvBCHbzD
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ar4lpvTTx
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1v9BlJDu1
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmS4S6dhQO
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlU73XBv0pO
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwmBOBGNQx
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgre0IA6fe
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULYqG2qu6u
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLyewHb9Qb
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7f0aH7s1Kq
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94uVgJ68fW
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyu4saAtwAD
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpivGFr9Wdt
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqFxJJL3eo
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUESG59MsBa
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AsMT8SOh8
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RSTeMDJxd
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYZLBy6sXo
***556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILE3OvWKnS
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwerpHWCAzi
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHygGYdebh
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjFj7JcV3i
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLDgzCO5Zs
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EIhs6VBi7
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeMWZBWxmy
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UPNXUQSd5
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzekVh9oTIt
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb92h4wbe0S
He smiles at me.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTyjsKExlq
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5AtwLoeA7
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5XGlzL2GK
"Sure, hon."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jXEiQCS94
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqepFsFNFnJ
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWcqEWxVuL
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiplqUEn6r
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmMHYkY73R
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jXuNLoUoN
The very first ones:556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0ogIF9Ufk
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHxy4p9QBC
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnhcvZSNte
Hey! I miss you.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKtjNAWijf
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnbHMv069h
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p0wpLNihB
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthdVnx1EZh
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oxyz3ncBK
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpM1mg5pZyh
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0fqV5ntby
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcAYJfBYGW
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0va3m09tUL
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHP4GOgCyCV
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWKxxz2Lub
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL4MSiFm2K
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcCKIWsa13
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyqTuWk0j3
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDZqKioQfy
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxD6VPCNBv
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJWoHhuAmD
Are you okay?556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkOOgQkC9S
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BXApO6y1p
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxPkOVt8pU
Did I do something to piss you off?556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcpqx7YSoE
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxKIKc1IEN
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ItGzoUi6N
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpWHvdW7PH
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzROucgc3C
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdZHy9Ghpt
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwIk3Ah5zC
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6oabXmxgV
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0o7uuCxI9
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L6274KOgY
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyG35YcK9EW
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuckZUXToBm
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvTEWzmH82
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsSRB3Jbg3
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvofZ7zSioT
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb4nwpAomi
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvM1n4rLYm
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9fcGfOiBi
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKro81E6D1
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7UaTMibzr
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm35IHtvLVD
Two weeks before he came to see me. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevaJKy2AxQ
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLYXysSYY2
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYV4lGxHEn
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWW5GczTjA
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgqgpHCrw7
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptwHkYdSjM
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I wipe my face quickly.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9WLdEAXoo
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"It's okay. I'm fine."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXgWcIdjiF
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKICyRMmQk
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD35MFsWebl
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***556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCAhXHfJyj
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTGoEQc0Tf
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliVArKi6UM
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIF1QoEfjx
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaez2JO9G0
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3SxWmtRtG
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpBBtcItpX
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"You finally read my messages," he states.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTKCQQPWil
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgN7QmqaDP
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXNe9qJO3c
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOkOcS2Q2S
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiacpfHOd6
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7YafLmHWD
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcOXlGWqb4
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48fiY0Vlmk
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRliupfZkl
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhHdRWbwxo
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvQIPMo2F5
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0FAkyXGK5
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjidyXoCDl
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQD64c4NILh
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGoWj1Wpzc
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExZXBOlAFe
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeyG5ueWsh
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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