Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsRh9vbbnO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHdDMQT6tT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTdgXPdY72
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjb6yIFv6D
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUWoyZHZF2
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaWoGlhAVC
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJelagQD9TE
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78g2Q142Jl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAxHPhHYCZ
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MxJPnEeqi
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVH1DvM1JHm
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2OSFLJclf
as long as you stay here with me593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tMfhesfVd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7YOFxKCHF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BXgkYCPQH
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSXt8ZNVxM
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOedVmSlNJ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd7VcS7yJK
This has to stop.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHeFNKQvtk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9CPCddTnx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExbMjNBe5Z
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMKUr5Yh9G
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrVYfcuj8c
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcI0wpqOlVk
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDK5TtAt6T
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhofH85mvga
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQqwuvfLqi
"Are you okay?"593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZZcZBvr5J
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWQrPWRDzU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7rOFFC5wR
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJYtqKT8V6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXqK7ESzZi
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtV6AYQF9C
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpS7ML7UgP
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFjWoXcgAY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG8zJYB9o0
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QcYf1DsrO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOnLbkJC74
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnBTEq3jxA
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4SXAhRgaS
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzwRkxhgzs
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMhFdE3dUB
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDOjLmSS3Q
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt739tM1Ft6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qdTf8Yryt
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzp5TTlMMNg
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLCFQDCnae
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrchC2JlZBV
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvZ6KSDFvI
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbShpkjVKR
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTqcINjkQC
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXKFFFodLu
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGl8gzBJcH
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdlf23hoGs
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHaIJChXUU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmESxWyo55
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFPbYhxmsD
"Yes, you can."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhJaAemQCJ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDSsNCjYMd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocYeZs7bQd
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2LhZyiUsj
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUTKqVrXHS
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIAnTArYtB
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kK07nUneO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMBKzRG2yU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l8i0HVR5E
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHFvSUHJ35
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxjVMMVnjd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk3ads3eWN
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshbxjhYju9
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0fMtcQUSy
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVy2X1BU9y
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiIYSRmBOE
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw5buiMGb7
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zktNpmVYr
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjC1i6H173
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcmAxeutZj
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGAC809Gtw
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMkKWa6zEL
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2HADTzcNd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vkzXT61iJ
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrtkkcCZPT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBKw0piRRm
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgW88qNxPxa
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfesKHEqlf
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IAor7cWDk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7DlFtp1kI
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG8K2vDQXI
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJLqPeg7i4
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hHnLKNOBw
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CAPjtog6c
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wa2T8V6M3
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5r4pRJUupe
"What's wrong?" 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkocEMY3Kl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSwrXgVDw5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3jGZwIVA1
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyXWA0qZn1
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnZM1NjGuV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc5JgcympV
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0nUZoGtkP
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAEkHCn6SO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjrkJ2bJQ6
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1G4gZqcSqZ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMs1qS2pkD
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuctal82it
He gives me a disapproving look.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixzWlJlDsL
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQllV0qXop0
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQg9YaVc1x
"Are you anorexic?"593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Yg0J2UBTC
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZVLxLpasM
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3BMWr5iXc
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GUE8ahZL4
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldIp6202nV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFni6meJpi
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPCrzOYcWL
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsmLVq8JLQ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg88VRGNx6T
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpp1O3Uv2wA
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3C37YtSUT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCuNBHEJwg
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZC2kI9h5P
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiihvqyTcmU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs01utIL8Gj
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgJOloggvM
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxH4bomhTI
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbSekABBXM
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwevvinM3L
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcErbrOIsnf
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEprcccdLy
I ignore it.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNENk6qzH0
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAoJurKcwt
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYOz7ds6YR
"I don't want to get hurt again."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxYivc9kED
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9zwo8TYVk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8KCSitpsF
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9B0bVjrYJr
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MXOc6Ab6v
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDWqMFsK6K
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzxeVDvr7q
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7MJU8ZKv8
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYL0Sk4fuB
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKERBHukCoa
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlV4XeZKyx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZGfjS02c1
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTMRldZbYf
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPtE3vZbgK
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2C4fcKT1c
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3SZbaefhk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2IbtZU8zx
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbwytM5We4
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kbfjw4hKb
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjIoYPGWqC
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SgjK0G9rG
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BegvILS96
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBQ436EZLc
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUtW9TgAOM
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQucS5JYlMy
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguCAYt0Au3
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDUsvLELuG
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKalZiNI6I
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx94Un2VtT3
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94Xe0PHRyB
***593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xw0WIvTXJ
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmO7iBdYI5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFaauhBBXf
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8W3jgLvLCl
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMLWwpCw7o
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKa1VDLLIV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsalc8AE5Z
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxB8zOwGQO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKewWQv8UDJ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOf2epUOeuM
He smiles at me.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO2RxhGsGl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCFNzN4t1w
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAutqVepe4E
"Sure, hon."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlD2m2CbqYY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TPcoAQtgW
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Um0Wtm4b7
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00Eo1t7G94
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAQTZaaOrL
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWM5xUgBLn
The very first ones:593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavzLY8ROL6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbBhDAtm86
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MtQYKTDwu
Hey! I miss you.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXm2Qcgjzy
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVJ7p4iay8
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxlPwFXSgE
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIdHzSjVlB
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5r9DdCZ0Ba
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbptzB65Mwx
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34eDmZp8HP
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4Wkd66wVF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvMZY2oXoC
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmyYTweI7V
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3weLCT0keX
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8stFIK8Gu
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmD6pnjBQWR
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLa21x452r
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcbihygPCI
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJTh7aQCy1
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFYjJjSuCN
Are you okay?593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkugK5lLDsI
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzEJrYTQXw
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdTrSIA2K4
Did I do something to piss you off?593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9adfdtIzJ9
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zn85YDAZ5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKFCwlwc41
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ99FcSzUw
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bRk4314Ut
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UKBQLak0s
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmWrjdrmjd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxiehhwq6N
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0aVxVaKWX
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7T6QaJ7lc
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmqxk4A2RD
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C5vjDTlsp
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqRUhSCM7M
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJbb5VOhUb
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iK0Adc3gc
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rmvt2tfga
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRne2AGtIo
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzxMUQeFeP
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfN89x8EId
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2Tr3elA2Z
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M0QtcMapE
Two weeks before he came to see me. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8e6k4tuig
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMzzwdL5uk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItqncCEJJn
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6PoWvftRq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLw3BCY1m2p
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhseRlDIzfG
"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDDQrUftXL
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxLblUqkEO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58NTI4f2Qu
I wipe my face quickly.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbLCdixmJd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tg8cNkmnj
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7vzD0wDoG
"It's okay. I'm fine."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9BQpNIqEF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGObNShUAZO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cZgVmE8AE
"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6aif7VOOm
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvprql0lhze
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTjYWzsclW
"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9rHozTmaa
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTiM5KD8sn
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAnsippl6U
***593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesmMNtwVbM
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE8voqdP4b
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7WQz4quD5
I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKufcOT8rF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGsSJKaZ5y
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSKKxREn9I
Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47cfQpzASK
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6nqOQUADr
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYX4Pzj2s7
I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSinqgEGp9
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyuOaIR8zN
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1KM9WgEi3
I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgP7Axa23o
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC4sA6pxIB
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9d2nsh8fF
"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQYBpuE0cd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTT7vBRq7L
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMasRBsNu2I
I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L6J67Ha3H
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FuOgNn0zD
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlxDblg284
"You finally read my messages," he states.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScCGdRaAuP
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2y2LxoAZH
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70JbDIZjda
"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2wZCYiiyW
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iCzzQuHt8
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzucT9ymkcV
I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQp9uDEdLQ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwUqupQKU6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4IPhwAfOc
If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5TpJIIPjJ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZEaphqFv0
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDPToHxBRO
He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4qqctgZDh
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4ypfI3V1Q
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mHx7HbTmH
"When did you start having feelings for me?"593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoYdIo4rfv
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUA8QE9WrTq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9wpdVbfBk
He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVZ9fee6EY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2eLBkd1AT
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIXvQmLher
"That night that we had dinner together, right here."593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmG0kKgzLA
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyE6StSnqF7
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKcz4nZHpJ
Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUMHLhQDor
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Z2oqohp82
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAMXfCZOxT
He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcH8RQGtwl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBDH8bNhDh
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tuVUEFfQr
I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWB2RVrWMoY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGlJyY09nZ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguvjwkoRJO
"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbfNzvhchr
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAzJBeRRW1
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaI4MJubfH
"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYD8PmDDnN
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGhky7ySRy
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNa87lUUGt
So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhzfDDI8sO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3tIe0UF1T
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfoX0DHkBW
I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5k6BtUfk9q
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHy8JTw8ct
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9NM6EqlNA
If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxXQlMPd7u
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm1wUqGZIz
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3blIEdV8qQ
I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnF9OPSBaO5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcS6iZqbsS
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvjSdoaDB2
A/N593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvP2IzqW7QX
Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
ns3.149.234.255da2
