819Please respect copyright.PENANAAKGjI3Wvfq
819Please respect copyright.PENANA1Dey64XYZj
從前,一個養過貓的朋友告訴過我,動物都有一種天性,就是:不作死就會死。819Please respect copyright.PENANAOYymQ1NgPN
819Please respect copyright.PENANAMdW5fE70N2
起初我對他這句話一笑置之,始終我又無養寵物,關我撚事。那個時候我所領會到的反而是另一件事,就是人類真是好撚煩的動物,為求存在感,可以捉住其他人,不管對方意願如何,都不厭其煩地說同一番話一次,一次,又一次,真係煩撚過閪。819Please respect copyright.PENANAznN7uK0cp4
819Please respect copyright.PENANA8g3qmjYKDj
不過事後,我卻發現那個人所說的話是有點道理的,更驚訝是這不局限於貓,其他有智慧的動物,甚至是人,都會有這個特性。819Please respect copyright.PENANAqtmbJAkbSI
819Please respect copyright.PENANAOq6uNuYpti
最先讓我發現這一點,是在一個叫胡紹權的男人身上。雖然他是隻半人半獸的生物,也扑過小紅……819Please respect copyright.PENANAI4HBlYWAXE
819Please respect copyright.PENANAjIpuu9JtSM
說起這件事,我再次感覺到自己真的已經原諒了他,要原諒一個人確實是不容易,最大原因是因為即使你已經原諒了一個人,也忘記了,又或是根本不知道自己是怎樣原諒他。819Please respect copyright.PENANA5mZxjrwL20
819Please respect copyright.PENANAfj6QBHSeBR
屌那媽,離題鳥。819Please respect copyright.PENANAblWRibWtx1
819Please respect copyright.PENANADDiRV72Iet
說回阿權的事跡。話說是這樣的,公司有老鼠其實不是什麼祕密,也非什麼怪事,始終M記是一間餐廳,所以幾乎每間分店都會有,間中跑出一兩隻是很正常的事,為免牠們跑出店面,我們都會放三四個誘捕器而非用毒藥,要是吃了毒藥又臨時死不去,出到店面才反肚的話,可是會令我非常頭痕(雖然揹鑊的通常都是店長或一些小經理,但作為他們上頭既本人都要寫大一堆report)。819Please respect copyright.PENANAVZGfeTxmEi
819Please respect copyright.PENANAoGVh2paFvO
老鼠出現的問題是不會完結的,因為牠們總是源源不絕,而且無孔不入,可幸誘捕器總能好好發揮作用,一波又一波的老鼠家族通常一來到都好快會冚家剷。819Please respect copyright.PENANAKYP8TxWxwV
819Please respect copyright.PENANAML51uLGFY2
但這只限於「通常」的情況下,因為有某些分店的鼠患是好鳩犀利的,可幸在我管的區裡就只有一間。819Please respect copyright.PENANAmepTedf112
819Please respect copyright.PENANAHksCp3JtuP
老鼠的問題在這家分店一直沒有好轉,這與那裡員工的衛生程度有著好大關係,但這並非最大的問題,它的工作效率與服務態度等等都有著缺陷性的低落。819Please respect copyright.PENANAdSZN0mAIuc
819Please respect copyright.PENANAxZnAcxJ5OO
低迷是源自那店店長——Eric上位後才開始的。819Please respect copyright.PENANARkkxxCfXSs
819Please respect copyright.PENANADCWz3P3ks7
Eric是個約三十幾歲的風流自走炮(花花公子),全間店都是小妹妹又或者靚女,唔係青春就大波,唔係大波就長腿,總之個撚個都好鳩正。819Please respect copyright.PENANAmJxjqXCyqH
819Please respect copyright.PENANAFYESurDItb
所以保守估計,當中至少有五成員工都與他有著非一般的關係。就感覺上,我認為他請人回來是為了扑,而不是工作。819Please respect copyright.PENANA6VRstA96D6
819Please respect copyright.PENANAuuJJm8EvfC
雖然我可以耍些小手段讓他收皮,但我沒有這樣的打算,根本沒有必要為這個蛋散出太多力。819Please respect copyright.PENANAkbH9xr3PKl
819Please respect copyright.PENANATNGvib9XWd
所以我心生一計去解決這個問題。819Please respect copyright.PENANAor8LjKisQV
819Please respect copyright.PENANAHRgmtTjax2
首先派我手下的粗口星人阿權每幾日屌佢鑊金(想起來,其實阿權都幾做得野,又識補位,是個不錯的副手。),然後我就得閒去同佢傾下計。819Please respect copyright.PENANAhcvlfGT75T
819Please respect copyright.PENANAkd1Q6XU2tv
一個唱紅面,一個唱白面,好快eric的情況就有好轉,手下的娘子兵發揮正常功能,也沒有串咀與黑面,實在可喜可賀。819Please respect copyright.PENANAsC9DuN0JIU
819Please respect copyright.PENANAPA7XDodniQ
但低迷時期所積下來的老鼠大軍還是沒有解決,為了解決這最後的問題,我找個朋友訂造了一組「有入無出摩天輪式誘捕器」,它的最大特式是夠大,夠舒服。819Please respect copyright.PENANAyK5MWqD4P0
819Please respect copyright.PENANAsmiwNseLtC
用法就是放入食之不盡的食物,讓籠裡像天國一樣,加上多個古怪的機關,使老鼠樂而忘返,引誘更多同類落搭。819Please respect copyright.PENANAAkWijxKDfk
819Please respect copyright.PENANAc0Yt2nin3q
引入這個裝置後,果然非常有效,第一日已經捉到五大隻老鼠。819Please respect copyright.PENANATfTZj85Nx1
819Please respect copyright.PENANAPU0YZjnQRa
而問題就在這個時候出現了。819Please respect copyright.PENANAAJ5rlCdVxV
819Please respect copyright.PENANApE4PhpLXgx
當晚我和阿權親自去檢查捕鼠的戰果,一拿出籠,店裡全女班的員工一見到裡面幾隻又大又肥的老鼠,無一不被嚇得尖叫。819Please respect copyright.PENANAdVTKIjPfhY
819Please respect copyright.PENANAeXt5NJSvOJ
阿權聽到囡囡們的慘叫聲好像痴左線一樣,開始拎住個籠周圍嚇她們,隨後更玩到過鳩哂火,想捉隻出來向囡囡們展示自己的勇氣認叻。819Please respect copyright.PENANA8AZwXJzPps
819Please respect copyright.PENANALnfCJHADBe
拎出黎唔係問題,只係佢拎住隻老鼠變撚到好似凱撒大帝咁,係咁將手上面隻野左舞右舞,之後重問班囡囡:819Please respect copyright.PENANA3ORBcHzNtB
819Please respect copyright.PENANAutykj9ReJd
「你地知唔知啊,以前我地窮起上黎捱餓果時啊,真係唔理得咁多,乜鳩野都好,有得食就食架喇!所以我以前連老鼠都食過啊。」819Please respect copyright.PENANAAH0hO6gQgK
819Please respect copyright.PENANAA0xWDyyjgf
其中一個長腿妹即刻有少少驚又閪住面咁話:819Please respect copyright.PENANACluhx5WF9Y
819Please respect copyright.PENANAPCvCqEJwjT
「我點知你係咪講真啊。」819Please respect copyright.PENANAEpD6GW9Kzw
819Please respect copyright.PENANAugSyG3za7t
聽到依句,我就知下一秒會發生什麼事,唉屌,今次仆街鳥……819Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7DDUa39Ec
819Please respect copyright.PENANAXm9yl0wEMK
果然下一秒,我就聽到「炸~~~」一聲!之後就傳出令人心寒的「吱!」一聲長嗚,隨後是一眾女人的尖叫聲。819Please respect copyright.PENANAd8DxRa4B9n
819Please respect copyright.PENANA3utDnYU7bC
屌佢老母個甩毛閪,條撚樣眼都唔眨就將隻老鼠掉鳩左落炸爐……當我走到過去想屌柒佢既時候,我聞到有陣重臭過爛屎既腐臭味。819Please respect copyright.PENANA7044tQh7nr
819Please respect copyright.PENANAckiS6Cj6s0
再望望阿權,佢望住炸爐入面浮面的綠色泡,已經青都面埋,睇黎已經知道自己玩大左。819Please respect copyright.PENANAZlgXe8VWxa
819Please respect copyright.PENANANOz0CbDW2H
算喇,唔鳩緊要,我本來都無諗過即場屌佢,至少佢假假地都係我條靚,係依度算係一人之下,萬人之上。819Please respect copyright.PENANADGSUCmTc1z
819Please respect copyright.PENANAUZW21shd8P
點知下一秒,我屌爆佢都母個閪!條友竟然比d屎味嚇到戇鳩鳩,亂左方寸,唔鳩小心整撚跌左個老鼠籠。819Please respect copyright.PENANAEC8fDULeuY
819Please respect copyright.PENANAKRdbjhEMUU
「嘭!」之後,就是我的一聲怒吼:819Please respect copyright.PENANArIwOgjk6We
819Please respect copyright.PENANAA3rtsLu3FG
「胡紹權!我屌你老母,玩玩玩,玩乜撚野啊?」819Please respect copyright.PENANAZwOd6jRxiI
819Please respect copyright.PENANA3TsTaNGCAC
屌你老母!但屌黎都無用,個籠一落地,四隻老鼠即刻快過支箭閃人,已經追唔鳩返。好彩當時已經關店,否則真係大撚鳩柒閪鑊。819Please respect copyright.PENANALkQw4vTnSn
819Please respect copyright.PENANAFsgZUrBsUO
由於之前講過,在場我最大,而阿權又係我既人,所以我屌完佢一句之後,再無人敢亂講野,然後換左缸油,求其消個毒就當無事發生過。819Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4FhOzw7z9
819Please respect copyright.PENANAruFbwowCSM
就這樣,屌完阿權一鑊金我在他身上真正明白到,乜野叫做「唔作死就會死」,然後才發現到,原來這樣的事每日都在自己身邊不斷重演著。819Please respect copyright.PENANAwElzgbGjzB
819Please respect copyright.PENANA34OkeJkVjA
但我萬萬沒想到,去到今日,終於輪到自己親自奶野……819Please respect copyright.PENANAXoKqqheXdb
819Please respect copyright.PENANAvAm0GyvU6z
819Please respect copyright.PENANAqE50xza6FQ
回到現在,回答完賣菜佬的問題:「In fact, I can't call this is a business. Because I am a M記 Manager.」819Please respect copyright.PENANA7Sw3rVis0n
819Please respect copyright.PENANAVoN7fvlybr
我感覺到一刻自己的心好像被抽乾一樣,下一秒心臟即時極速跳動,全身的毛管都如同人浪一樣從腳至頭,下至上豎起。819Please respect copyright.PENANAlFqk8KKikt
819Please respect copyright.PENANACbN3ddok49
斜眼瞄到阿花那青綠色的咀臉,我即時將焦點抽開,然後又發現坐在對面的三人又呆著地望鳩住我。819Please respect copyright.PENANApr93B2DA9Z
819Please respect copyright.PENANAhwu9n9y9uT
也許我真的做了無法挽回的事呢……哈哈。819Please respect copyright.PENANATbGReQ0tbC
819Please respect copyright.PENANAog23mWTZys
若有人嚴刑逼供問我為什麼要這樣做的話,我大概也不能真心說出個理由,因為我就是單純想這樣做,單純想攪屎棍啊……819Please respect copyright.PENANA0TxDcX7f1V
819Please respect copyright.PENANAAwpXxzn6AA
不過,深入思考一下,也許這與我坐呆了,被冷落久了有關。人無聊起來的時候,往往都會做出一些爆炸性的事來獲得存在感。而我也是個人,所以難免會這樣……819Please respect copyright.PENANAR8VZbJzPjy
819Please respect copyright.PENANACEqm1gX7cL
但這樣屎忽痕一下,可能會撤底地害死我……又或是已經害死了。819Please respect copyright.PENANAcbfuibAICt
819Please respect copyright.PENANAct0V5i6z1G
下一秒,那個本來一臉冷酷的銀行佬臉色忽然變得唔對路,然後用名牌手拍抹抹額上的汗,有點緊張地問:819Please respect copyright.PENANAdnX3HvvhzQ
819Please respect copyright.PENANAj8LgMVRpZf
「你怎樣可以證明自己真的在M記工作?(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAbYSo3nUuxG
819Please respect copyright.PENANATkduDT4rI6
這個問法和語氣都非常不自然,讓我有點錯覺,以為剛剛自誇是美園電腦創辦人,冒充「鏢雞」一樣。819Please respect copyright.PENANAwOsnXMgY7I
819Please respect copyright.PENANAijuS1tEdng
簡單點來說,銀行佬的語氣是對一個衝大頭的人專有的質問。819Please respect copyright.PENANAUWFfNr1TdW
819Please respect copyright.PENANAYbGKWzg7J5
但我可只是如實回答,而且自報是個M記的經理,叫我該怎樣證明,該怎樣回答這個問題?819Please respect copyright.PENANAJYHAb3S6CI
819Please respect copyright.PENANAnrUWi0i0gE
唔通要我由做兼職整包開始講起?我唔認為佢會有興趣知道。819Please respect copyright.PENANAEU9VI9T01g
819Please respect copyright.PENANAC6OJGBlyzw
想不到緊接著這句話,一把老邁沉實的聲音卻忽然開口,似是叫住那銀行佬一樣:819Please respect copyright.PENANAnLqv13ZnPV
819Please respect copyright.PENANAA7Qdsp0Fzv
「貝克。(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAYVkjKD9RMw
819Please respect copyright.PENANAtLRAqxbguv
聲音主人是跨國大企業「大貓重工」的超級高層,也是我所在這圍枱五個人裡面輩份最高,握權最大,說話最有力量的一個,先前大段時間,全枱的話題都一直圍著他作中心旋轉。819Please respect copyright.PENANAoqrAbzE8D9
819Please respect copyright.PENANAvigsdLdEhi
然後他又繼續保持著絕不含糊的語氣,緩緩說道:819Please respect copyright.PENANARX6AwVJYsd
819Please respect copyright.PENANAoXvQ65vFZN
「你這樣質問我們的朋友,實在有點失禮了。Mr Bob,請原諒貝克的失禮,他只是有點不知所措才會說這樣的話來。(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAiZjUTurFMg
819Please respect copyright.PENANAbXW6iuhMI1
喂,我有會錯意嗎?他這是在為我解圍嗎?一個跨國企業,座擁幾十億身家的超級富豪為我解圍嗎?819Please respect copyright.PENANAZucEqI6xhl
819Please respect copyright.PENANAXQMl8gLwDs
讓我開始有懷疑,剛剛錯口介紹自己是超人或是蝙蝠俠了嗎?還是M記的經理原來擁有著與超人同樣的地位?819Please respect copyright.PENANAwbVwFW7YN6
819Please respect copyright.PENANAjfEOZl5foF
不論是哪個答案都好,都是痴撚鳩線,讓人一頭霧水。819Please respect copyright.PENANAWlYEX4U1ju
819Please respect copyright.PENANAkUi1uSRTo2
聽完大貓的一番話,沒有人敢開口說話,然後大貓又唱一口手上的酒,滿臉皺紋的他皺一皺眉,帶點善意的語氣問阿花:819Please respect copyright.PENANApihS2czrx2
819Please respect copyright.PENANA21mHONi1Jr
「有點唐突,Mrs Chu啊,為什麼你不好好介紹這位貴重的朋友,讓我們都差點冷落他了。(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANATsXDVJxWzY
819Please respect copyright.PENANA9GhLqa7kIl
我覺得自己應該被抬舉到一個不知名的程度了,又或是……我行走江湖多年的直覺好像帶來了另一個答案。819Please respect copyright.PENANAFk3DCWDj01
819Please respect copyright.PENANAIpoopVTGVL
一個人忽然客客氣氣,離不開只有兩個原因,一是示弱,二是保持鎮定。819Please respect copyright.PENANAE0zVPPDPZi
819Please respect copyright.PENANAMyLYO0J7vE
兩個情況都大多在講數時會見到。819Please respect copyright.PENANAiqDKeQmkjt
819Please respect copyright.PENANA9iAnBk6cTg
前者就是當其中一方被鏈住春袋的時候,反應離不開,不是發神經,就是表現得好客氣。819Please respect copyright.PENANA3RjXr0HqSC
819Please respect copyright.PENANAsJLKyJ3vTO
後者就是其中一方被另一方無意拋疾時,往往都會變得稍微客氣一點,保持鎮定觀望大勢,以冷靜應對。819Please respect copyright.PENANA0GLLYGnTDU
819Please respect copyright.PENANAi1cEeiD3Z9
大貓應該就是後者了。819Please respect copyright.PENANAqSEbRCmKnc
819Please respect copyright.PENANAhDXsFEWnei
阿花被這樣一問,也能保持鎮定,大方微笑地回答,不愧是個在大陸黃業打滾了十幾廿年的老江湖:819Please respect copyright.PENANAMTtPUEvxQF
819Please respect copyright.PENANACWbGDb8DMw
「啊,抱歉,Bob不太常與我談討工作上的事情,而且我也不清楚他是否願意表明自己的身份呢。(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAxqBoajFvTH
819Please respect copyright.PENANA0naKk3S5US
這是經過思考所得出的客觀,而且合理的答案。819Please respect copyright.PENANAbZXMvQoH3y
819Please respect copyright.PENANAsCpUNMmB7c
大貓點點頭,扶一扶自己的金絲眼鏡,將焦點轉到我身上,繼續保持著善意詢問:819Please respect copyright.PENANAlwzOPxYZRJ
819Please respect copyright.PENANA6gcJJfZOzp
「來了位難得的朋友,實在使我久違地有點興奮呢。Mr Bob,可以讓我先問一個問題嗎?(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAZtdFBbpyMh
819Please respect copyright.PENANAqpHkGNpVtP
估計沒有錯,他明顯企圖試探我的底細,當然我也沒有拒絕的理由,必先搞清楚是什麼原因讓他不得不保持謹慎。819Please respect copyright.PENANA59ljpAwsVH
819Please respect copyright.PENANAg0TXekqJTR
「Oh…Why not?」我隱悔微笑,大方地答允。819Please respect copyright.PENANAjR9kIT6Ixd
819Please respect copyright.PENANA6jZHkO4tjX
然後,他單刀直入地試探我的個人立場以及意願:「你今天是以個人身份來的嗎?(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAaXJOaAWvuv
819Please respect copyright.PENANAwVXjYynrqT
這樣問,很大原因是他希望得知我有沒有代表什麼組織來到今天的聚會,看來答案已經呼之欲出。819Please respect copyright.PENANAAUpAo3EXdX
819Please respect copyright.PENANANSvyBs5MuE
M記就是他們所避忌的。819Please respect copyright.PENANA7kdJdpWo6U
819Please respect copyright.PENANAuqGBBZecbv
這是個必須慎重回答的問題,假如我表示自己是以個人身份出席,即可解讀成阿花將我這個重要人物邀請來,而我就變成了M記的暫時代理人。819Please respect copyright.PENANAKBXFRgcISj
819Please respect copyright.PENANAnkUSj1F4sU
在這個場合亂認代理人,可不會發生什麼好事,否認才是正確的答案:819Please respect copyright.PENANAAsa0r4Bfnh
819Please respect copyright.PENANATFgjOotkP0
「Ah, no, I'm just as Mrs Chu's companion to attend tonight's dinner .」819Please respect copyright.PENANA8xqMqzoNBK
819Please respect copyright.PENANAGgg6DKrQt4
當然大貓也沒有因此鬆一口氣,為下一步更探的鑽探做好準備:819Please respect copyright.PENANAdcjVHIt7r6
819Please respect copyright.PENANA5k648WSksN
「噢,那就真的太可惜了。若給貴公司知道Mr Bob你來到了今晚的聚會,大概會做成什麼不便吧?(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAEuSIYkVP3R
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「No problem.」我爽快地回答。819Please respect copyright.PENANAhstShmHd0Z
大貓這隻老狐狸即是低調地笑一下,應該認為我是M記派來的斥候。他自覺得已經掌握到一定程度的情報,就稍微安心下來,就說兩句客套話:819Please respect copyright.PENANA29fImIsRa1
819Please respect copyright.PENANADUhjlI6xp2
「多年來我都對貴公司所知不多……今天卻難得與你見面,實在難免勾起了一點好奇心呢。(英語)」819Please respect copyright.PENANAHZX6Wzm9qp
819Please respect copyright.PENANAoxkDchm2np
為免被進一步質問更多自己不知道的問題,也考慮到他們對M記好像保持著尊重又害怕的謹慎態度,我開始摸索到自己掌握著多大的權力,就決定大膽斬斷他的發問權:819Please respect copyright.PENANAqlu1VnmpgK
819Please respect copyright.PENANAoYEEecAKR8
「I will like to join your conversation, but you should also know about my belongs enterprises, so I can not say more about this.」819Please respect copyright.PENANAvF3frd7tch
819Please respect copyright.PENANAoYdc9MolxG
說話當中,我盡量保持善意,留個好印象給他們,讓等等可以有機會隨意插話。819Please respect copyright.PENANAbVQsuuryK6
819Please respect copyright.PENANAl322Wf1RP9
我開始感受到M記就似是為我套上一身肌肉一樣,令我有本錢在今晚為所欲為,而且得到大大的尊重。819Please respect copyright.PENANAud5ZEfwqlc
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可能阿花也注定到這一點,就在此時發言:819Please respect copyright.PENANA8EnbwbDne3
819Please respect copyright.PENANAGZz5a2CfqL
「也對,我們可不是來這裡談公事的,讓我們繼續放鬆放鬆,但抱歉,我們先失陪一會兒。」819Please respect copyright.PENANAcy7GzT1PtR
819Please respect copyright.PENANAE5U2bAuV1A
從阿花的眼神,我知道她腦裡面已經盤算著大輪利用我M記經理身份找優勢的計劃,大貓點一點頭,我與她隨即離席。819Please respect copyright.PENANAm0n7SalwcW
819Please respect copyright.PENANAqMRsfCvHvS
離開大廳的時候,我微微回頭,才發現原來不只是我們所在的一枱,旁邊幾枱的人們眼光,都有意無意注視在我身上。819Please respect copyright.PENANAM5MCNTjlHt
819Please respect copyright.PENANADId5Oyra4G
看來M記應該有些不可告人的驚人祕密,但拜此所賜,令我這個M記區域經理都可以係共濟會有頭有面……實在係痴撚線!819Please respect copyright.PENANAu31vIjUf3l
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819Please respect copyright.PENANAMdkLyfGobO
頂你個肺!捱左咁多年,總算捱出頭喇!今次我實有風駛盡利,惦鳩硬喇!!
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819Please respect copyright.PENANAm64tTEsII2