818Please respect copyright.PENANAVyQeIBPUIm
818Please respect copyright.PENANA4EbBGytXor
從前,一個養過貓的朋友告訴過我,動物都有一種天性,就是:不作死就會死。818Please respect copyright.PENANAI5JnT5JY8U
818Please respect copyright.PENANAao2bTzRd5H
起初我對他這句話一笑置之,始終我又無養寵物,關我撚事。那個時候我所領會到的反而是另一件事,就是人類真是好撚煩的動物,為求存在感,可以捉住其他人,不管對方意願如何,都不厭其煩地說同一番話一次,一次,又一次,真係煩撚過閪。818Please respect copyright.PENANAP9WpjLcnR0
818Please respect copyright.PENANAc6PXIrYqdZ
不過事後,我卻發現那個人所說的話是有點道理的,更驚訝是這不局限於貓,其他有智慧的動物,甚至是人,都會有這個特性。818Please respect copyright.PENANArtnvT3FRix
818Please respect copyright.PENANAwp9fyZTGgy
最先讓我發現這一點,是在一個叫胡紹權的男人身上。雖然他是隻半人半獸的生物,也扑過小紅……818Please respect copyright.PENANABuO6GovQYF
818Please respect copyright.PENANAU54XgWoKwz
說起這件事,我再次感覺到自己真的已經原諒了他,要原諒一個人確實是不容易,最大原因是因為即使你已經原諒了一個人,也忘記了,又或是根本不知道自己是怎樣原諒他。818Please respect copyright.PENANAZklKNhIsIU
818Please respect copyright.PENANA1NndXpNvsV
屌那媽,離題鳥。818Please respect copyright.PENANA63TFgFiKGb
818Please respect copyright.PENANA7fzNuxIIDv
說回阿權的事跡。話說是這樣的,公司有老鼠其實不是什麼祕密,也非什麼怪事,始終M記是一間餐廳,所以幾乎每間分店都會有,間中跑出一兩隻是很正常的事,為免牠們跑出店面,我們都會放三四個誘捕器而非用毒藥,要是吃了毒藥又臨時死不去,出到店面才反肚的話,可是會令我非常頭痕(雖然揹鑊的通常都是店長或一些小經理,但作為他們上頭既本人都要寫大一堆report)。818Please respect copyright.PENANAhh6JqpDVAu
818Please respect copyright.PENANALHOaMkxMfA
老鼠出現的問題是不會完結的,因為牠們總是源源不絕,而且無孔不入,可幸誘捕器總能好好發揮作用,一波又一波的老鼠家族通常一來到都好快會冚家剷。818Please respect copyright.PENANAGcneWFhgOv
818Please respect copyright.PENANApvzkzrHwQ3
但這只限於「通常」的情況下,因為有某些分店的鼠患是好鳩犀利的,可幸在我管的區裡就只有一間。818Please respect copyright.PENANAw7ey0kBrQ5
818Please respect copyright.PENANAMiLLkCOZku
老鼠的問題在這家分店一直沒有好轉,這與那裡員工的衛生程度有著好大關係,但這並非最大的問題,它的工作效率與服務態度等等都有著缺陷性的低落。818Please respect copyright.PENANAH8FS13GfeL
818Please respect copyright.PENANAhHuTSN7Xh0
低迷是源自那店店長——Eric上位後才開始的。818Please respect copyright.PENANApcmq5qiwtM
818Please respect copyright.PENANA2ho1qzxhlp
Eric是個約三十幾歲的風流自走炮(花花公子),全間店都是小妹妹又或者靚女,唔係青春就大波,唔係大波就長腿,總之個撚個都好鳩正。818Please respect copyright.PENANAG1yvd7nMOj
818Please respect copyright.PENANA5t3F3UbjL2
所以保守估計,當中至少有五成員工都與他有著非一般的關係。就感覺上,我認為他請人回來是為了扑,而不是工作。818Please respect copyright.PENANAGeLtha3WM7
818Please respect copyright.PENANApB2Aj2d71J
雖然我可以耍些小手段讓他收皮,但我沒有這樣的打算,根本沒有必要為這個蛋散出太多力。818Please respect copyright.PENANAIlC3AR5lNI
818Please respect copyright.PENANA67NZnQLwgD
所以我心生一計去解決這個問題。818Please respect copyright.PENANAEtoCpVAMx9
818Please respect copyright.PENANAF2jHGGwBg9
首先派我手下的粗口星人阿權每幾日屌佢鑊金(想起來,其實阿權都幾做得野,又識補位,是個不錯的副手。),然後我就得閒去同佢傾下計。818Please respect copyright.PENANA2opDkHzYxW
818Please respect copyright.PENANAISXAyA2n8j
一個唱紅面,一個唱白面,好快eric的情況就有好轉,手下的娘子兵發揮正常功能,也沒有串咀與黑面,實在可喜可賀。818Please respect copyright.PENANAxvr77bLcRH
818Please respect copyright.PENANAVwIET0iin1
但低迷時期所積下來的老鼠大軍還是沒有解決,為了解決這最後的問題,我找個朋友訂造了一組「有入無出摩天輪式誘捕器」,它的最大特式是夠大,夠舒服。818Please respect copyright.PENANA0NED7QecUE
818Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZDI74wBtZ
用法就是放入食之不盡的食物,讓籠裡像天國一樣,加上多個古怪的機關,使老鼠樂而忘返,引誘更多同類落搭。818Please respect copyright.PENANAnd15iaNLZG
818Please respect copyright.PENANAjF5TVJ2Z6D
引入這個裝置後,果然非常有效,第一日已經捉到五大隻老鼠。818Please respect copyright.PENANA1Syx220axN
818Please respect copyright.PENANArpAn03bx1y
而問題就在這個時候出現了。818Please respect copyright.PENANAOj3bqJzbjl
818Please respect copyright.PENANA1ePaYWIkEs
當晚我和阿權親自去檢查捕鼠的戰果,一拿出籠,店裡全女班的員工一見到裡面幾隻又大又肥的老鼠,無一不被嚇得尖叫。818Please respect copyright.PENANAJkE0i5Grib
818Please respect copyright.PENANARJhDfo0clk
阿權聽到囡囡們的慘叫聲好像痴左線一樣,開始拎住個籠周圍嚇她們,隨後更玩到過鳩哂火,想捉隻出來向囡囡們展示自己的勇氣認叻。818Please respect copyright.PENANAJh7bh08W3j
818Please respect copyright.PENANAK6mH0MIYuM
拎出黎唔係問題,只係佢拎住隻老鼠變撚到好似凱撒大帝咁,係咁將手上面隻野左舞右舞,之後重問班囡囡:818Please respect copyright.PENANAqNDo1WK0va
818Please respect copyright.PENANAyhYibiTXQ3
「你地知唔知啊,以前我地窮起上黎捱餓果時啊,真係唔理得咁多,乜鳩野都好,有得食就食架喇!所以我以前連老鼠都食過啊。」818Please respect copyright.PENANAmfMgphGhn6
818Please respect copyright.PENANAG62fdukh1V
其中一個長腿妹即刻有少少驚又閪住面咁話:818Please respect copyright.PENANA7vsbe3DHIn
818Please respect copyright.PENANAxohpHCCFPo
「我點知你係咪講真啊。」818Please respect copyright.PENANAZt7ox2MCVu
818Please respect copyright.PENANA5u5CwGbvTW
聽到依句,我就知下一秒會發生什麼事,唉屌,今次仆街鳥……818Please respect copyright.PENANAujs0f0IW7k
818Please respect copyright.PENANAsMQCKTpT6A
果然下一秒,我就聽到「炸~~~」一聲!之後就傳出令人心寒的「吱!」一聲長嗚,隨後是一眾女人的尖叫聲。818Please respect copyright.PENANAKidtlrtLxE
818Please respect copyright.PENANAgrvwz0yoBM
屌佢老母個甩毛閪,條撚樣眼都唔眨就將隻老鼠掉鳩左落炸爐……當我走到過去想屌柒佢既時候,我聞到有陣重臭過爛屎既腐臭味。818Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ac9OKBEmB
818Please respect copyright.PENANAenWm407I3L
再望望阿權,佢望住炸爐入面浮面的綠色泡,已經青都面埋,睇黎已經知道自己玩大左。818Please respect copyright.PENANAMdCesmExJ0
818Please respect copyright.PENANAUHkj8f0LDI
算喇,唔鳩緊要,我本來都無諗過即場屌佢,至少佢假假地都係我條靚,係依度算係一人之下,萬人之上。818Please respect copyright.PENANA0Z8PYKwBAb
818Please respect copyright.PENANAPKEDOTqrew
點知下一秒,我屌爆佢都母個閪!條友竟然比d屎味嚇到戇鳩鳩,亂左方寸,唔鳩小心整撚跌左個老鼠籠。818Please respect copyright.PENANAvjkWcFCEh2
818Please respect copyright.PENANASSLel7nATn
「嘭!」之後,就是我的一聲怒吼:818Please respect copyright.PENANAZSgaiSgmZ8
818Please respect copyright.PENANA0OLwldx1oM
「胡紹權!我屌你老母,玩玩玩,玩乜撚野啊?」818Please respect copyright.PENANAgCdqb3UTi1
818Please respect copyright.PENANAfVapXAs74o
屌你老母!但屌黎都無用,個籠一落地,四隻老鼠即刻快過支箭閃人,已經追唔鳩返。好彩當時已經關店,否則真係大撚鳩柒閪鑊。818Please respect copyright.PENANAokU6dLuKLL
818Please respect copyright.PENANAm7xbHwgiKz
由於之前講過,在場我最大,而阿權又係我既人,所以我屌完佢一句之後,再無人敢亂講野,然後換左缸油,求其消個毒就當無事發生過。818Please respect copyright.PENANAw0VXZ2gtQk
818Please respect copyright.PENANALWVRKmocxh
就這樣,屌完阿權一鑊金我在他身上真正明白到,乜野叫做「唔作死就會死」,然後才發現到,原來這樣的事每日都在自己身邊不斷重演著。818Please respect copyright.PENANAWs1XCLOnqD
818Please respect copyright.PENANAxZebonwQRY
但我萬萬沒想到,去到今日,終於輪到自己親自奶野……818Please respect copyright.PENANAa0MmosMSMP
818Please respect copyright.PENANAeYf2vdkQvm
818Please respect copyright.PENANA7aIUCin3qO
回到現在,回答完賣菜佬的問題:「In fact, I can't call this is a business. Because I am a M記 Manager.」818Please respect copyright.PENANAasF1iQCjOU
818Please respect copyright.PENANAJXyAYVgqDh
我感覺到一刻自己的心好像被抽乾一樣,下一秒心臟即時極速跳動,全身的毛管都如同人浪一樣從腳至頭,下至上豎起。818Please respect copyright.PENANAlqlCxc8sy1
818Please respect copyright.PENANA2Yn9Ndnduk
斜眼瞄到阿花那青綠色的咀臉,我即時將焦點抽開,然後又發現坐在對面的三人又呆著地望鳩住我。818Please respect copyright.PENANAtbezeGX1to
818Please respect copyright.PENANAtc2Zwmksf0
也許我真的做了無法挽回的事呢……哈哈。818Please respect copyright.PENANAqtjt8cpBSc
818Please respect copyright.PENANAOvtrA5SRMn
若有人嚴刑逼供問我為什麼要這樣做的話,我大概也不能真心說出個理由,因為我就是單純想這樣做,單純想攪屎棍啊……818Please respect copyright.PENANAHiV1loSGeo
818Please respect copyright.PENANANebHhzMO5q
不過,深入思考一下,也許這與我坐呆了,被冷落久了有關。人無聊起來的時候,往往都會做出一些爆炸性的事來獲得存在感。而我也是個人,所以難免會這樣……818Please respect copyright.PENANAqWw0FusRkR
818Please respect copyright.PENANAnqot2EQKo9
但這樣屎忽痕一下,可能會撤底地害死我……又或是已經害死了。818Please respect copyright.PENANApwUZ4CxPgJ
818Please respect copyright.PENANAYHAxbwDI4Y
下一秒,那個本來一臉冷酷的銀行佬臉色忽然變得唔對路,然後用名牌手拍抹抹額上的汗,有點緊張地問:818Please respect copyright.PENANA8KEuFOvTl9
818Please respect copyright.PENANANWRfHMNRMF
「你怎樣可以證明自己真的在M記工作?(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANAc1hga4vtxK
818Please respect copyright.PENANA0edVWUNi4Q
這個問法和語氣都非常不自然,讓我有點錯覺,以為剛剛自誇是美園電腦創辦人,冒充「鏢雞」一樣。818Please respect copyright.PENANALQzm9SkiU4
818Please respect copyright.PENANAemhIGTe3xH
簡單點來說,銀行佬的語氣是對一個衝大頭的人專有的質問。818Please respect copyright.PENANAbhvAVyMuKA
818Please respect copyright.PENANAKcNUjcSvQN
但我可只是如實回答,而且自報是個M記的經理,叫我該怎樣證明,該怎樣回答這個問題?818Please respect copyright.PENANAHJLahuhyoy
818Please respect copyright.PENANA0BhCYTGZbo
唔通要我由做兼職整包開始講起?我唔認為佢會有興趣知道。818Please respect copyright.PENANA6O6sGmWTkk
818Please respect copyright.PENANA26ypOsfD6s
想不到緊接著這句話,一把老邁沉實的聲音卻忽然開口,似是叫住那銀行佬一樣:818Please respect copyright.PENANAweF7z48PY1
818Please respect copyright.PENANAoQyiCCiQjA
「貝克。(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANAG9b97aU2JW
818Please respect copyright.PENANA0uzapTjIvi
聲音主人是跨國大企業「大貓重工」的超級高層,也是我所在這圍枱五個人裡面輩份最高,握權最大,說話最有力量的一個,先前大段時間,全枱的話題都一直圍著他作中心旋轉。818Please respect copyright.PENANANghhVsHDR6
818Please respect copyright.PENANA6YLsrWw8iz
然後他又繼續保持著絕不含糊的語氣,緩緩說道:818Please respect copyright.PENANAkyyIqY09Uq
818Please respect copyright.PENANAGeSvdOh4ek
「你這樣質問我們的朋友,實在有點失禮了。Mr Bob,請原諒貝克的失禮,他只是有點不知所措才會說這樣的話來。(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANALcEkbw0Fcp
818Please respect copyright.PENANAvB5dL27M9A
喂,我有會錯意嗎?他這是在為我解圍嗎?一個跨國企業,座擁幾十億身家的超級富豪為我解圍嗎?818Please respect copyright.PENANAr3eVKczjhf
818Please respect copyright.PENANALSWsptEbYr
讓我開始有懷疑,剛剛錯口介紹自己是超人或是蝙蝠俠了嗎?還是M記的經理原來擁有著與超人同樣的地位?818Please respect copyright.PENANAQlZ9TAIgMs
818Please respect copyright.PENANAGh65mBB3eq
不論是哪個答案都好,都是痴撚鳩線,讓人一頭霧水。818Please respect copyright.PENANAgfuFd69F0l
818Please respect copyright.PENANAMafKCiDDL9
聽完大貓的一番話,沒有人敢開口說話,然後大貓又唱一口手上的酒,滿臉皺紋的他皺一皺眉,帶點善意的語氣問阿花:818Please respect copyright.PENANAiOOiwdUj8W
818Please respect copyright.PENANAjWo4spN86q
「有點唐突,Mrs Chu啊,為什麼你不好好介紹這位貴重的朋友,讓我們都差點冷落他了。(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANACbDgUt2e0g
818Please respect copyright.PENANAdg757pz8FH
我覺得自己應該被抬舉到一個不知名的程度了,又或是……我行走江湖多年的直覺好像帶來了另一個答案。818Please respect copyright.PENANAtflWmOG1sM
818Please respect copyright.PENANAJOBJG1hn0j
一個人忽然客客氣氣,離不開只有兩個原因,一是示弱,二是保持鎮定。818Please respect copyright.PENANAftQuZUw0Vg
818Please respect copyright.PENANA9NGgB8wei4
兩個情況都大多在講數時會見到。818Please respect copyright.PENANAdWvLujmTsX
818Please respect copyright.PENANA54uVNr3cDY
前者就是當其中一方被鏈住春袋的時候,反應離不開,不是發神經,就是表現得好客氣。818Please respect copyright.PENANA3Nn7nqwIWV
818Please respect copyright.PENANADPp2MKoi9A
後者就是其中一方被另一方無意拋疾時,往往都會變得稍微客氣一點,保持鎮定觀望大勢,以冷靜應對。818Please respect copyright.PENANADWzd9PR9BD
818Please respect copyright.PENANA593nxgegZk
大貓應該就是後者了。818Please respect copyright.PENANAbthyPjFphf
818Please respect copyright.PENANAwhSxlcrK5q
阿花被這樣一問,也能保持鎮定,大方微笑地回答,不愧是個在大陸黃業打滾了十幾廿年的老江湖:818Please respect copyright.PENANAjiCzC51w4v
818Please respect copyright.PENANAcDoWs9yreN
「啊,抱歉,Bob不太常與我談討工作上的事情,而且我也不清楚他是否願意表明自己的身份呢。(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANAJxADNZx7MX
818Please respect copyright.PENANAXLM4DDAhuM
這是經過思考所得出的客觀,而且合理的答案。818Please respect copyright.PENANA6leRMgVrHG
818Please respect copyright.PENANAURMOvWhnps
大貓點點頭,扶一扶自己的金絲眼鏡,將焦點轉到我身上,繼續保持著善意詢問:818Please respect copyright.PENANArp1aZtVESF
818Please respect copyright.PENANAVcdQquBaYW
「來了位難得的朋友,實在使我久違地有點興奮呢。Mr Bob,可以讓我先問一個問題嗎?(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANA3kisPPPX08
818Please respect copyright.PENANAfmdY3Y1ha2
估計沒有錯,他明顯企圖試探我的底細,當然我也沒有拒絕的理由,必先搞清楚是什麼原因讓他不得不保持謹慎。818Please respect copyright.PENANAMmvxai7irB
818Please respect copyright.PENANAIkxbulKtHr
「Oh…Why not?」我隱悔微笑,大方地答允。818Please respect copyright.PENANAMmPvJhH3kI
818Please respect copyright.PENANAxvmnl5b9FZ
然後,他單刀直入地試探我的個人立場以及意願:「你今天是以個人身份來的嗎?(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANAXRdH6HMbRz
818Please respect copyright.PENANA3Z9OGeGhMl
這樣問,很大原因是他希望得知我有沒有代表什麼組織來到今天的聚會,看來答案已經呼之欲出。818Please respect copyright.PENANAnxx3PUTwiZ
818Please respect copyright.PENANAhQFrzQYQbZ
M記就是他們所避忌的。818Please respect copyright.PENANA2Cm7rasRdi
818Please respect copyright.PENANAamanC0Vz7z
這是個必須慎重回答的問題,假如我表示自己是以個人身份出席,即可解讀成阿花將我這個重要人物邀請來,而我就變成了M記的暫時代理人。818Please respect copyright.PENANAP0PYAryCxN
818Please respect copyright.PENANAaRyAzLmfh0
在這個場合亂認代理人,可不會發生什麼好事,否認才是正確的答案:818Please respect copyright.PENANAKq3gfwjCXx
818Please respect copyright.PENANASleTsTtnYO
「Ah, no, I'm just as Mrs Chu's companion to attend tonight's dinner .」818Please respect copyright.PENANAHybndxbxvz
818Please respect copyright.PENANAn3TfSTEPQN
當然大貓也沒有因此鬆一口氣,為下一步更探的鑽探做好準備:818Please respect copyright.PENANAJrNPTUHaWt
818Please respect copyright.PENANA0Clg4LLKZG
「噢,那就真的太可惜了。若給貴公司知道Mr Bob你來到了今晚的聚會,大概會做成什麼不便吧?(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANAlUMjyPJQRH
818Please respect copyright.PENANAA71urvFuFi
「No problem.」我爽快地回答。818Please respect copyright.PENANAg2VVFlUys3
大貓這隻老狐狸即是低調地笑一下,應該認為我是M記派來的斥候。他自覺得已經掌握到一定程度的情報,就稍微安心下來,就說兩句客套話:818Please respect copyright.PENANAyBiCY2OeQG
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「多年來我都對貴公司所知不多……今天卻難得與你見面,實在難免勾起了一點好奇心呢。(英語)」818Please respect copyright.PENANARRDYD0uik2
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為免被進一步質問更多自己不知道的問題,也考慮到他們對M記好像保持著尊重又害怕的謹慎態度,我開始摸索到自己掌握著多大的權力,就決定大膽斬斷他的發問權:818Please respect copyright.PENANAsF1kCrj0wT
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「I will like to join your conversation, but you should also know about my belongs enterprises, so I can not say more about this.」818Please respect copyright.PENANAozql5TQRxf
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說話當中,我盡量保持善意,留個好印象給他們,讓等等可以有機會隨意插話。818Please respect copyright.PENANA2nBxroTWqe
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我開始感受到M記就似是為我套上一身肌肉一樣,令我有本錢在今晚為所欲為,而且得到大大的尊重。818Please respect copyright.PENANAGm9DyRWeyq
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可能阿花也注定到這一點,就在此時發言:818Please respect copyright.PENANAf3mKmHCELk
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「也對,我們可不是來這裡談公事的,讓我們繼續放鬆放鬆,但抱歉,我們先失陪一會兒。」818Please respect copyright.PENANAjjtObGsKee
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從阿花的眼神,我知道她腦裡面已經盤算著大輪利用我M記經理身份找優勢的計劃,大貓點一點頭,我與她隨即離席。818Please respect copyright.PENANAgediKlJfzK
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離開大廳的時候,我微微回頭,才發現原來不只是我們所在的一枱,旁邊幾枱的人們眼光,都有意無意注視在我身上。818Please respect copyright.PENANAdOy908VJHC
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看來M記應該有些不可告人的驚人祕密,但拜此所賜,令我這個M記區域經理都可以係共濟會有頭有面……實在係痴撚線!818Please respect copyright.PENANAG4zU7HS8z7
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頂你個肺!捱左咁多年,總算捱出頭喇!今次我實有風駛盡利,惦鳩硬喇!!
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