Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgb2oo3znw
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcOdA3jhWx
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPx2XUhYjnA
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDv5N3tR9pC
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdckqdkcdZU
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtR0eWWD06a
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRozH6k0W9Y
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG3bY3bZhI
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnlQazq1x9
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89gxUz0n3N
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rzpQdLSzq
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJM6MOQZrb
as long as you stay here with me602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflMJSJPjbv
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPKjxzEf1O
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXPfyrI43r
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHWcsY9iFk
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNTqHzPIR5
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYuLpPJlQy
This has to stop.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfFxbMeOI6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNEbFMJEur
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhnjRMs0iY
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEVlYvCbYn
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzREXcIOjVH
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoA7IyLoUUS
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44FZ7VRSoD
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpJS0qjnw7
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLk27PMdpMt
"Are you okay?"602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxSTKGyxC5
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn92CnXowPW
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKhiAlGIuu
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHvUDbiIFF
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbggTOCJQXx
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZjsX0jLM5
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XrOC3O346
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYk6hq6pJg
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9IAtScz0G
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNyQLC9e9A
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhNwdIbeaF
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel4Eh8JB8x
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RXveE5ltg
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PQKL1DHBq
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfLCpEQtCH
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VTwhJx1ly
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5LCI2Ikwx
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9k3hLHq8i
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOVUMybZ8N
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vsSgAIRbY
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpCcfbRZea
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrrV2CDImN
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIZ8jJe7FZ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAfH0CY0t1
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjhhFO3n7w
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRw7C28oEJ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfalEUaYEAT
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeOyNAqAz7
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFDSTmEwBu
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlB9lpZ1XY
"Yes, you can."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMIYJWVH65
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90pivuVa6b
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h6QNuGm5y
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fiy7KvopW
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQVQWO8Q8L
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08mYNEjTOB
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxBgIP5JdV
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4otNJxX2Gh
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3HCfAehF2
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMkP8iWs94
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2gJISZXZ3
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBul048mrVC
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBCLbLTON9
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLtThW2puE
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2AiPG8dNM
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4Zfwbqlw9
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76l7N4yYYU
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWY4LKGQpY
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5G8SFscl8
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ359TDmrPp6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeoTy2TrVu
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvz5jdkPk5x
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwXGXSdFuP
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7j2eyRvJbK
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneN3bnBRPY
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk2TEDx7IK
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQY5gHsTkf
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgl8oN7TYX
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHPigRghkq
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLwfNq7VX8
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYu0G1MnJn
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGhjBnGeyn
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNFRa56pcZ
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjCZ3fbRK3
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNM92vWPEEr
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5S4DSFBEqZ
"What's wrong?" 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnr11QOQtu
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQJ4bhWIb8
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplpLTs6jux
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVWsY8HZm4
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDQ1kROTkJ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zScQPAQl4
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVb5CWQGEKs
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzHTDK2wIz
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy6le5cfAw
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGv4PhJEufN
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPuL5E1TSL
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgheogwkEVa
He gives me a disapproving look.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YMF6JFSJ0
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRO1DkijMn
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPKhz7LIVc
"Are you anorexic?"602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYhvhsbJ7F
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzON4zvcGSN
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0gwaB7jU4
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2iPPDEIwu
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDjtabdsZe
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5N1a4yKyZ
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4XaWcInUV
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALm70K1bP9
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6BXNp5AWR
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDmJxWDWSj
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8t0UeTbeq
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV9mX00E5O
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmpdGRF9LB
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfXvLOEE4F
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuqZdqHwB7
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEttVv22Zq
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkfUNTzLO6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjTQgh8mpg
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdmhUiMigC
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzGbAHvOVv
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjA53mSB8rG
I ignore it.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4c2pbQZjIr
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE96QIOQ5tZ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMDpe5WQy0
"I don't want to get hurt again."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdv69Y85hO
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6kvSXQ4Km
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4Vfs0HdtI
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4CsC1ZIon
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzgmhS5Jtr
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFYKxg3bXJ
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5Ky5bGUTS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3QBML5ebQ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEDfkY2iwd
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLgx3dLMax
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDoJ02ZOdL
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QaHKZp15x
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2ake7xkqS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBwshl5RIH
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNPqMvqCP0
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2OJY5Mejz
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1wOHmnmfs
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X2NDO85Lk
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5g32PMImF
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zCcZoDGuX
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx7D3Ixpho
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXTu71cnGT
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjGPHqRbYQ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrqOFzREbS
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzJUq50DrN
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmty9biw9w4
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3THsJdnMZ
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdxVW4pV8F
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIJxtFdEAl
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRaA1wMllI
***602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiL0wXW7tB
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZUo95J4ju
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtROzTaRPuK
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOmAgGVvhi
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjyn6npi9K
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtya8TnywA
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrKZqWcO7p
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpP0v84KCt4
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOtq1H0HNq
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft3joVv9oj
He smiles at me.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LG4E1mzFt
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak8hXv9Dvm
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctuFcGMWX6
"Sure, hon."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlcYgJ6PA7
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm4CeBAKMS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuloBPhNcxH
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVgNLHRjib
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9nNZily0U
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQUn55ZQnf
The very first ones:602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUmTxjRnwS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjKZZOp0Nk
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBQH1wUxGf
Hey! I miss you.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguUdLGS5GH
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOBuEy6l4O
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4Pn0uT2z5
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiGKh3YtDt
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKTj2pzfVx
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8BDpnddYX
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjI1d9UsuKm
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4rBS8yG3n
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB1a1kAEjD
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhcsabxAlt
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FZlodB6Go
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHmjFaAJ6M
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisd5WvVLsv
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79cnf30Gcu
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9ZxeaSMgO
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDDZLXN9eu
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4KKgSytlr
Are you okay?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZAq3kO1KH
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBMIhANBMQ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcboB8t1eCR
Did I do something to piss you off?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifQqbHtRlH
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrprXM5YBV
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ199dQ88I4W
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOv5FkN7k0G
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkmGb92YAR
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9un1erfWa
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWEZ3PR2yr
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9LtlHPHMo
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCA3C5EJaY
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SVbgoriEk
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwqLF2Z8L6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOnFCnreT5
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3GkBXLBLd
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgHN3MMzn9
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSdXrAKVYh
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3Vg42kR6u
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG59j6rD1dr
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDncoYitj6
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRaEhwPZj1
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlwDG3zcUd
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaygjvN2dYe
Two weeks before he came to see me. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eA0EMRo7E
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1LHzT9KZU
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiwKEWoOkH
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsgn7abUCB
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzc6zcrCuZ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y5oPDm5qK
"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKrGCpcej0
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMB4uoc8zU
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52tHZ22Top
I wipe my face quickly.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumVFL5v87I
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTU8fCGAWv
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcZFiGvXUm
"It's okay. I'm fine."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNAAzH6kts
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq9j43kPpG
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY2tkr47pm
"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqO4tgxvLH
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38jIqVUwfR
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba1z2wcSd9
"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJtxhlM5dx
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5POptnwgm
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRZEoY0n0y
***602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhSj9U9NZj
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLpZYdCYFV
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCXI7DPgr4
I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYASrgA6x6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOoTATWWK9
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwmWf9PIkh
Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwi5F5VaVR
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXZaiUvHSI
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf74gftukjc
I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i0VQBp50y
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaChmG0LUu3
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBl2xYvWvkl
I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Fij6yz0L7
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCuM3FkzWb
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTB1ve3EMS
"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l0WlPf9UX
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtGpL3EsFS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEDW9h98xV
I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTpF5Pf2CP
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iYryHRxyA
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVd6dm5EV9z
"You finally read my messages," he states.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nqGsfSfpE
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G8ckjL2B6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHcchuwJG8
"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCzYwXtQPg
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBjsAe2xFN
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc1VaWaCgM
I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MWw3OWfBS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLmoOaDdMk
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRIjlnY4Y4
If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrcA4XFzrj
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVnLtLW92X
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XcsoE5Xyn
He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxTC04Yedw
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjl104mNWD3
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3FxjH2QUL
"When did you start having feelings for me?"602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINyfcTj4dK
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpte6jXRNhA
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgicRWBvcZv
He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgf2cgjUw2P
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjI2iop9DlR
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0Gkuwva9l
"That night that we had dinner together, right here."602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUd47M5iu9
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNQ6kY8pVH
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QI38sbhAC
Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa5Simr9ld
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamzeJQckQ6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZqLm4pbCM
He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sjwhNdiXO
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz59nXIv1O
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBH9N6LRBSZ
I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX036pSrxS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWYwXisxFf
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dEeLKdWN7
"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93j7ogRrZ1
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGa1KQbtIeL
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtUxGXfgzL
"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwooZcJAZKP
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w2miBg4iJ
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLZQiMdniC
So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRBGYKkKI6
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURCDUL4WjK
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRlaitJg5p
I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiVQvqrVm2
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgTvJE138h
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLwqSeMZOS
If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTzjj0IOCS
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehyXvXhteD
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERfUKiwVUj
I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpg19EUZDj
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Kfdz8M7ZL
602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mripfSPzE
A/N602Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WlUwieEK5
Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
ns216.73.216.11da2
