Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWh37XcmQC5
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GQXi4bpmA
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3hksscZDR
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbda85eLt8
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqup0vGGGtL
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzBeGkHbg7
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdYsPkfC7V
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7Gqe91NZ7
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52q8GUHGgr
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMoavIWXL7
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJr5T9eVLw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43ANxhHi27
as long as you stay here with me558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcSCeNUSy0
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdZGZA6ffD
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIRGYF4QwK
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJeV7hGfVM
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWAYWmjmvb
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMi8u2m9l1
This has to stop.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzal09iqFh
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDHCE2R2sG
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxUgu3BhgH
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKBxR8DMeB
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9PORsKfZF
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaHqKaEYiY
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkqB1585V3
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHHK1jkfKa
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBIrJlY65R
"Are you okay?"558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx1yvg0INy
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf5KpK72hI
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAzXzKWcBG
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYWF0wds4U
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghCBbU4aug
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSLbfCcypf
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYvME5RUt5
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzkLv8p3Ij
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrp605KYeuA
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3qMrHOXM9
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFYCWZXQLp
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3N37l8NhX
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAXbeGDDPW
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiaQNQ2D11
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8jEi7nWOQ
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84ro3XwiUk
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEd5d7h5HP
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwocOYUkGlc
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDMt1vXHx1
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLAB3KTCqZ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4W7HHgFp6a
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZP9hur5c8
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEfoOlf2mB
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTygZgz6Z0
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GLFkC4Yi9
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6ytQkBt3z
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9S3xZ6YOd
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1iUAvY4GZ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmTtJZmtfZ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFnXL2WLBB
"Yes, you can."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06Lqvz0pLC
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0P2OZ9nDU
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRTpLuISDH
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGFyyWHu0k
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtn0GvQ6mk
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TsOJInMxS
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDzTwjezwU
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqkKlrha0J
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLWdobOcJX
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3NZ3EZHkQ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoAbnc0PrF
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqWjvgaZaN
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvxR6wQeAT
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EyXPqXgFl
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYyjFW9iL0
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFLXqKK65T
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIfszSVbQF
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK40fVcR2tq
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SC7E193Ub
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gR2d9QZb1
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9lpsO1GwH
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Y8z4Vx1VN
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd9taUVCur
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa795EW16i
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyVDuG8Iye
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FExdGmsCM
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDF7G71XJx
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1LqtlUETC
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKl054ZBGF
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25cuMB9l3E
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPgaca3evn
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzxpP2xzOt
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdNY5JGC7Z
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ249MDV8g7h
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4abLPVNjAf
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9y80Er3EJG
"What's wrong?" 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXNbnf11p7
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCX8htnWyLZ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBo2U7yy83
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FN6NJCHCw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitAt00duot
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcK5qohOymi
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZkeKztRKI
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9tizhXgpJ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq6w6Gv5ez
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyFEuTKX68
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7mhLBzmUJ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EPk99pzXp
He gives me a disapproving look.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQAIYzBFcI
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUugLgIMBVw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDJKyjXLd3
"Are you anorexic?"558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2UuDjOb8C
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuQi0FT3rs
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5oMVqHIO2
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5KQq2MKNn
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRVSjEIx5w
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSesqJ5Ooii
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlepIk20SRw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5KZuqIhOT
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz52Q51gxdE
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWRZ1ytiUZ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpa5xbcP5pt
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQBTRe5ehz
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9JMhn4lI6
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI9iOChb0x
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaoU8vIwWD
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxSJPqmxm5
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrLVnt9F2g
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwejsFmBscd
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNxPey9wV7
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT10DGG6j8W
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAjVP3UXnJ
I ignore it.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UrT8EhNMb
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZBOFUfQME
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmp7UZi65n5
"I don't want to get hurt again."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW7X7XlSrp
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvd4ZnV2JZz
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51dligIFaf
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPkEFAOcIy
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRt9IdMdHg
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz1hvF5F4M
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6Cxns0vf1
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQFgN8x9T9
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyFJSJU5xC
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXhfzQAEaj
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCG81XOkn6
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79SD3G86sK
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmHCuVfMXS
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCXS3hFMBE
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoJZRmKZdI
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxlwKz8pBL
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18Cc4HdzsO
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFzdc6vvLk
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTOWqTFPGd
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGDbf6F5Bv
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu1qtLigUA
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTs6uNYMgnh
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixAxrm1Cp5
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLZFMCUVhZ
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7a2n1GxpZ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeltkE82uK
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ086bMyGeHk
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVjXv6bt0F
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq2JT1MCKg
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbqGvUlSam
***558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmW2wSnHBE
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIeA7cViPD
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGj2W3YdHzv
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHU7TCr8lUJ
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRePvrqRIRV
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwZrAZcWJK
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDRUQpddN4
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhvUMHpCXL
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2z8zLa8ToW
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNAoBnOVXq
He smiles at me.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hObbFcuUh
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbB8LzbYyc
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS0SzKI6Vr
"Sure, hon."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYf5vpB8CB
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4QSC0qQKD
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1uiLxYxUs
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas3nPLy7LT
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9Pak2pcK0
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABU0nC9Dva
The very first ones:558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpJSDlISJQ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk1Ods7kvb
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP8M662HZV
Hey! I miss you.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniBif51NcT
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq88HWqqej
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoUhCE0ZEq
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe93sA5iIm2
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmp1xP54PV
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6xvuD1VEH
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EzJxyYzgT
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCisXnNs3tV
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04NJMwR1cC
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1J4hv8iMX
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxSUBqm24V
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTnOS9Uzog
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm9H6YaIU6
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRQL1bobOH
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Sv0jZ4rr0
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQax4IPWAEr
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezXySK2Dpz
Are you okay?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSRMa1Pk8i
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iWh5WhIuz
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmCeU6XXcq
Did I do something to piss you off?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFXdGtoVTO
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OQs8WbDKH
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGBG2cdlFD
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wJVHePaXJ
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fkcyrzbdt
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPeDZCKjsO
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCdADxtnWv
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzWxENfllo
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lfzkuK9zm
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rEzTjbExW
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SXt8tXY3r
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCjSZZOXK9
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdaPf8CfY7
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwANlNnFDKb
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YzNu31LTI
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuAc1srYYi
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4qL6h1fk9
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo79axCmCI
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul99zR4WhI
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5TkVMMU5P
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQumbGGR0xK
Two weeks before he came to see me. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhghE6vRakx
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawXUPmdkrY
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBIicnDQ4W
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eUVTbqHqg
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWIRTNRKIE
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I wipe my face quickly.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CKDXCVdjN
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"It's okay. I'm fine."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBb8pq8IjZ
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuNWRvGXQA
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGkvOUROJe
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***558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qNsXEl1bD
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbJAG8ioSZ
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYTF1cgDMa
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3Lw04FlaE
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0SnEP6OTT
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedEhKUTdM2
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLyUJqJRg2
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"You finally read my messages," he states.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U1NBkbype
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4w5uk5afv
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGU7qAx0x9T
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSbCwxbDqw
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99EMscv0wU
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoH6yTfXrL0
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lArOpkzvM
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr6lQmcYoO
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqYiFYanTk
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPa3WQLsVD
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbZqfb6oa7
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWTgfxtCCq
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQcstYMMai
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12NaFG8q0v
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwON84laALI
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT86xqAyfcH
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDLzDZ0mUI
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A/N558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56PiputaOe
Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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