Ben783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0yogDVhul
783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡev6K6l3UQL
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WjSiGOqsS
783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBgV1J60Gg
Of course I see her.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT44SwcfHOJ
I always see her.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb54wShnNf
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bKK2JIbFZ
Damn it.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCp8ud5X15f
I need to stop looking at her. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJPpkF4DEJ
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeduuvqBPOk
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpo2jcdvQl
Damn it.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRaAryvdA9
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6VSKaEik8
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O08PnQSuf
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggKNSKC3iJ
But I fucked it up. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00O8bCB7DX
783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxEw2klNvD
Of course I fucked it up.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIj08b8JgJ
783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLXKpkeWpd
Because I'm a fucking idiot.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfzyXTn6Mw
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDu8ty3CYt
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDpI4RuiRU
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDstvOd82y
Can lips be sexy?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd47Hm5mcMh
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4eXoYxRvs
I need her. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAaBjIHMbg
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSG7d5hF4dZ
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjuM1AJLMj
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wPKfFjy6F
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5a3ITmAu0
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbzarLyCLI
Even her.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYExRnPwtZI
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRKxh7Ji2I
I feel something strange as I lay down...783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzWubLQvQ2
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aiQ1F6U5y
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUsWwi4O5x
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1u1yUkahl
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMkJDsJIJp
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡID4ESX1IZy
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmBnSi789m
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfk7aAf57D
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNN1z6Dxw1Y
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHp1PS6ElPK
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MehwJ1OUx
It's not. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ27jLbuyHv
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93PMxEuGCY
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjSeLfIpxr
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDEkbyw3gB
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdes7olSOH
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahpDkt4rGL
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNyraBnASE
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SlW11qlSF
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanuGe1jUw0
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurKh6h0DPQ
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15wyBrAOwx
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgRhFYyJBB
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1ViFoDEPW
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNAkjzlzhy
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3hFmUG6tR
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxKbdUD1Zk
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhu560kH0L
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltRv8OlKdW
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mg6NAFSjj
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMEqpIuaQP
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTMGXruqLI
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8teBYd1fG
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5Bs04U8zc
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyU3U4CZ6u
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zhhKF120a
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPukYN4FXM
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD83239vddl
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dBgUPORYi
I missed everything about her.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGH8ASwxX1E
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RDI06SGNM
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdgUc5WaZN
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznXxa2xG1i
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUoebhihNi
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm7tKcFDSC
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSf6jbX0x9
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zJjbevNgy
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzaj3p8DxI
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzSxO5Er1e
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYTUemvLxK
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xphj7Vnny
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Xze30x1dL
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydEe30sdoG
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdlBgzF0lK
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkugbjdjA8p
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfOccLIC8F
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXobjcKzeCi
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQnIrUVubQ
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdOtu5v59o
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzLKMBfFcu
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxfdXiUVm1
Shit. This is bad. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1n2FDzS7M
Faking it is going to be so hard. 783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9HRTuhk0j
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."783Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlxRWovbMW
I am so fucked.
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