[bgm music to read to]
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgGUfc6kFv
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKLKsp9FLb
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGSm8c1ZvY
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2cSI7JFQZ
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBDDrav0ND
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzzE69qDyQ
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA66G2cmdTK
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaWeZEO662
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwDO2srGdH
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0QryAHJKW
But...489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00aoqFJ5Pr
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUAYONNquU
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUXsxg8H0t
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuNtcMNptq
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LAQKmLybZ
Is absolutely not pathetic.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ewBmQoHHZ
You're not garbage."489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNiMBZsseD
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4LiLSMGEK
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvAMHZA6Xi
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXL6pXZ00ok
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2QmnbpMLU
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQTpEatbd6
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0xyaQ4RQL
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueUacGej9d
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8mzotKqL1
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpyJ1fGgB7
Your son doesn't want to get married.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbc1VIB2Xv
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprpp5CRpKK
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvKQtgX5RJ
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MrmfVg4jq
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchGQxZAWNc
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZwrzdLrw1
I'm scared of failing, so.
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitS4hJn8gS
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIgdVyfr1l
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiQXA4ZpJP
Sincerely,489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EMTBMvXXD
Your son Charlie.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwSrX6loap
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ5sxxBK36
P.S. Screw you sis /j.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG67aBfnFya
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBf7CGw125
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXffaiwCht
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUMDZZa2nB
489Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLElOpm44PB
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
