[bgm music to read to]
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFDduXZNYq
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJWQV8XHUQ
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdAEPmNKkb
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1Keqcnltu
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jJFC7O8E0
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUfRqrCdV3
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSU72SBUCJ
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR4u5LEWrL
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIhWMoMZD8
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhkatbXhhC
But...592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTPga0eSI4
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZw4W0adxUX
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVeVeGC2co
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorilTCyFdM
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdETKX3OusN
Is absolutely not pathetic.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53h6nl55zv
You're not garbage."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CnJmgpu5Y
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpQURxsKzj
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNOj7Rz7e1
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYScZlcm7q
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wMrZWUgX8
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIjdKXllue
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjdKpjnkYJ
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsajBM4joG
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7846HEe1m
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLg4ujU0TIl
Your son doesn't want to get married.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSHyx0ryUv
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYupVCM99bC
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRkwZsCVLG
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgfGET1E4Z
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvPLcMDlRB
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVCLl239Xo
I'm scared of failing, so.
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs73ZSPZBEX
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjXXjoONXe
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRixOkdNTEW
Sincerely,592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVv2d3FxsAp
Your son Charlie.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtjlc13VeN
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6vRchzb13
P.S. Screw you sis /j.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbltkUhMKKy
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgUrpiF5q5
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHVK5zAN8x
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDJfvlJfhq
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotF0Vv1s5Y
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
