[bgm music to read to]
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0DI7OoE6K
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGgRiwKRpI
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Dg5i6nics
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxc07bXYfs
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64JUDPMkR6
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIzJPxYe5a
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIhC9tpvgU
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0jm2RQiPU
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjc4hsvSbJu
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjBLtlTBfZ
But...654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbrnpDZHcf
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltFMvJAMhd
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRg0NqDXUR9
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWZuModXVd
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9bEK1kL4S
Is absolutely not pathetic.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMClT0ZMRVI
You're not garbage."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAl9bhvKwW
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1fg7cxkMb
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hAzchnEuA
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNJqFDWNrB
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdugm3pqKnq
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWijqxBY74h
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSDx0KxFKl
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsuOKIaRXA
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvST8M9CSto
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFEabGqVuT
Your son doesn't want to get married.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLA6IC3b5O
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZKsfJEZBO
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg99nrs1jge
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78WJyseMAd
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUDWLMMo6N
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQabtfaV95K
I'm scared of failing, so.
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFRUGsVUsd
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5Hq8i7MTb
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QicMLAQlw
Sincerely,654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmIOwRE8Q0
Your son Charlie.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSyrHnXdF0
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpry7L2twve
P.S. Screw you sis /j.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQk88aiRVW
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFyK9lPegM
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHLhHFotgT
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmGw0lvzfG
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPiFNvcHXs
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
