Kat676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZXN3TnvRC
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1Y6tTIdjc
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1n9tWVGGR
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rpXP4m07f
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhw9p9MFG1
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCnyYJ1mV7
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkU5406K1K
Is that it?676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWgH5KVwPi
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1Buff5EHm
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqxY2apRy6
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pdSO53NHm
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyF4P3xTIvi
I need to be strong. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtTQwD6VJa
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2zPyp2nUD
I need to be independent. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwy6e05B7DS
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTnGNpsjH7
I need to make better choices. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvgbmKldmy
I need to... not be here. Crap.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VKvFImhD2
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtG8R5hWRl
But also powerful and wanted. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMT9Jpna6N
Ugh... I am so confused. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9WSQcxx6q
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3oLCzJ6Sq
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOKWhGcfAb
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QPkj4uW7M
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQ3u9R9jRu
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrxLDsv10W
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGovxr4I1xE
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71CuM7kV8N
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Tkz2Mg8F0
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYTYNH18UY
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhe0QWwvkfn
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxArD5ld6rj
I am so weak. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTPpITIiia
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWX6ro0eV0
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ285sXrwSzZ
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNPeAdWITM
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0opTUp5MOv
"You are so not funny." I mumble.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh96kUDsHmB
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ISQBWGnrH
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAwNqifiqA
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf52pf71LVp
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoXlRvDe2N
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxibcSJnOy
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2FivO6g6j
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXpAnssZQ1
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuf74UPpRQ
Oh no. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WqjAfUJFu
What did I do? 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zBfL9Ke9R
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP52zW8TqwK
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JU7wco6aA
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTuu1LepQ3
I remember crying at some point.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbZyWJPnzR
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxaSm9aFgG
I remember drinking more than I should have.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkfK7D4Fhu
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToCHaaCSso
I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFoKe5bhYW
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2MST3Xy29
I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxWNdnV0SB
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35SFsIqGnq
And I remember... Uh oh. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvhzKYUnZR
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsJyCRBYWr
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fz7iX5LHh
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecIvLLA45E
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa7PEt68fe
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rp7EJcUUy
Crap. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdFBOdci4Y
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2S5KHxcRS
How did this happen?676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi08kpdsxvk
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKZ6AXMa1S
Is he... laughing at me? 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE3Uvc7mne
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZoet404PX
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTlSTlP7pR
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CaANJvFpZ
My curiosity wins, just barely. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrYh2zekg0
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBn5yVyzqNH
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccexSjixFs
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBySijiqno
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwh9aYyNIu
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0MQUjjXsN
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I0rqeOvDG
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hvUayhCI5
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsOjUhteXa
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2vlCSAZNX
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iqHWQaty2
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJX3YkGnIZ
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7vxw6x8Pm
I remember licking his defined chest.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJnuUplOtj
676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFhH9QKZla
I remember... 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgPrzAqWAW
he was naked!676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUFsA5gkYV
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViGkKHAMaU
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVX9jrX3V4
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4T6jhvxq9
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILSsDAYY7D
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhdGTCi88c
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpMqgzG2dc
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡponAcf8JYz
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSFZlMkUqH
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqtdZQA1oV
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oourMs5Qw
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qozirlKFP
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymtLBdCa40
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRF3bk4Gq7
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFr7aTjsIRB
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUF86UbL4lj
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IPAQKvfgU
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsZkvQb6yF
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKweoQc8AK
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVGRyniKl3
Oops.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2oWlMluK4
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDetM9V4rE
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtDnDmGOlw
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOGb31HKzJ
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwxgs5dGT9
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoN9i6srna
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iTPZERogz
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVzXqqK2uc
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUP15SOkJ9
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sLUCsbbcW
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeAPCupQv1
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sHVuvukKj
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOc2CxNJQZ
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSG4l0mt5eR
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYIsGekoqh
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJPQOWgvw2
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzXKKvNXGa
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kbpKkkKEJ
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9Xq02nTzz
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpEBfcPrba
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 676Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGF7dXiAfE
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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