Kat637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7OtleDYxc
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7VAC7SSoC
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs1E9TqDKh
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsStQ7k4ZH
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fiwteLOhG
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WnpzJhLfq
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVHKTS2etx
Is that it?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoWcAjtA6R
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYxdxdyOaI
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3ZxfHR5Pd
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3XiCoGzCu
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlUfTWZ6R2
I need to be strong. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqNnfFowim
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJE5r5ZVK6
I need to be independent. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejS5jwBXFa
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiXBd0Y8sL
I need to make better choices. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeWbf93eBu
I need to... not be here. Crap.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM3OhJuxno
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuernYTXS9
But also powerful and wanted. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIckZAvFuzd
Ugh... I am so confused. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKb4UPEB1K
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6R1OsAlyt
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ962VgbkxmB
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ087MxAkzvb
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdgCtnyk7o
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun1z40V350
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU69ESKdYO
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh989gyyye3
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DVXORjGE1
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZ5byo8xB2
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK6XiUpk8C
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcyFvyCL7Y
I am so weak. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnACn3chPu
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkC3pgKiN9
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYILUXGPsr
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazlWR9W6FV
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvWEVxBC9E
"You are so not funny." I mumble.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj786UadBt
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtLXm9OPzm
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDdZ5nxjW9
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyE7pyeDLf
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwur0FoRS7y
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9kScP1LSi
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgZakbYp20
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWIz33cRTO
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhNduk4IHG
Oh no. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tfMpqpBV3
What did I do? 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjdXYbhhiO
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlARZt3d31z
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFc1geyIUK9
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTAtSQGuEn
I remember crying at some point.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsc4mya5WoJ
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I remember drinking more than I should have.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXaMYkS3bA
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KTWj6qIDa
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqDis86vSl
I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGJ9Fs6VCL
637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6W4DqQdZF
And I remember... Uh oh. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ194EhPVckp
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUQFCu1qwD
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJIJTcINQm
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqUJkYyeot
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxyb9nsG98
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcQeZJMm7m
Crap. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONYcKZuztp
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AaqMbYnPS
How did this happen?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx3MlyoQ4S
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJLLyGAMTJ
Is he... laughing at me? 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlGThNCOUy
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxNkK8WHT5
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBALVKCwOvg
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYLLlAgvxe
My curiosity wins, just barely. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB4v1KmdYT
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAo4W58waW7
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEDjyPSnX3
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4J8fI2tNq
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaLoapxh10
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcE8Z6TnlCD
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaWhtK5qJm
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCWo6xRSg3
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnx1LkfxIx
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKanD7t51c
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfGey2saLU
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFGdJrOOf4
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrshrxkJSU
I remember licking his defined chest.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqStUOZNfJ
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I remember... 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NnwZw4oJN
he was naked!637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrT7gozchz7
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuXP6Joqzg
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGfeqO9CjN
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3EOl5aBd1
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAqxFU1Cio
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR1hW3zAcV
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAPGGtzUoq
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qdBGa6I7p
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxK2rmugrt
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImUc3kuR7Y
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb5CcaEoVb
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ85b1H4ixR
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw9yb1m6h5
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlZILjnb10
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHjtFXv3Nd
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrL9YaVohvI
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBQayEOUDM
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8H5qZm0qB
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQd2naWk0G
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVUm9WcFAg
Oops.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhGCGOyMKo
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9dyIIiIkj
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkT30cbFfEg
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfiGHKvGrZ
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnhndUbjvT
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28ckiPaqUO
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCHMJzdJ5D
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCdz2cxEz7
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TVWZP2Px9
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHyZV4wrh3
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizB9HrjJCH
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFiW29o67C
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJz8lAlrQk9
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyKDRvfwXi
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PD9M7rKvH
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb31cpDP19s
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeJfpnrHC9
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngkuelFpLi
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayuQ4MWZzP
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoH4tb5okHW
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibt4nxoipE
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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