[bgm music to read to]
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdAViIeYRd
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWKdvDK5Hh
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuMcN6tGlT
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfnZEoxuN2
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY18pKw644w
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPiG9ikVlO
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIJCMgMV6G
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPRVaz0YKI
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFTe3kKZLS
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguHBI9jlyX
But...656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaDGqA6jG0
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekz4QT17Vf
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhyRA29E36
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3TkthAOuq
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQyhYEEcD0
Is absolutely not pathetic.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUUIbMRXkQ
You're not garbage."656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4y5bEv3X7
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbkF0KVwTS
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYaFpKybXn
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiETgfq1I3
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8LRd9m8eW
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK7NyaQc1D
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpUJTkF8eX
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWH9u7vFpt
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlvWyojuoQ
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxw20Pgxzj
Your son doesn't want to get married.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAp4H1RcSH
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC9Kb3BfMo
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx6MwHYzmV
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUF90jSeNe
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74IiyDB3jD
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsZjGo178k
I'm scared of failing, so.
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PsS2R8jgu
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MiGbIduoE
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhs1Gr4pZ4e
Sincerely,656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oMSFHelUi
Your son Charlie.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8zuROdMJ6
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs7ExW1EiO
P.S. Screw you sis /j.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoDtjIzo7f
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaXsRFbhws
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNJyQM4olF
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkS7STFWXtd
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PdkA20cJ6
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
