《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMy3ODWmIBW
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ5Om0XiFh
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問我為什麼？406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI21HWKTLl
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原因很簡單。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4lpqOYyAE
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因為我是個單身狗。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrcRW2KtCT
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMUipprbxu
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjzsi4fHpm
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwQq7RISnt

從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4fezZL1Ur
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkknJh7vRz
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1DAmYolOh

「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrshCB4KnU
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVd50X4e6k
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTUY07pnFA

「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdF2u5RpIpC
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「你上次也是這麼說。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRBzRQPvL1
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFdCP6E7Iv

「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk10U6K3AL1
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNfLkbAtJf
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQG05bfYw7
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFY7rkQwbYx
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXp4ahyuxg

「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh8DAQIZSV
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP4xYnwnQe

「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZwcHeXJSM
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpru72i7LT
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YaZAaBbv6

我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJBwscuoUx
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2rBLENjHS
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQiLAkXHXJ

什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYlR10Oaui
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aVtg0HeM1
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcxqLkDRkx
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dNiHlnufo
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5z9SdSjIBG
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsRGNy8f0j
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1x1nVectl

恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dF6rmVQ2d
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxYwiaKnfE

至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiugqlTkihy
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYtFb5tM7h

賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGi6B6WJYz
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRyjeDZYKP

永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweHMwR0FsS
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6C9966udli

我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9DM0dVmyR
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7dT94o2T0

「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBE2qCboPU
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksWPlf5WKx

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTi7XIL4Y5l
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUH7wO7oSr
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fTCZNRSTb

這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKt4R14kIQ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7dCwFsPT0

「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRaDZSFHQL
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5dHeJOQot

「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwyRWpYUUQ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8f9wZUlIRZ

這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW15jR3OB0
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZladFHQRb1
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaELIL3B1g0

有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIiCvHvLlk
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像是現在。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0seHK9cOt
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWGHdjmb0Z
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukh9pM5yxp

你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99Zde1h3BL
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9ScZHVbcU

體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZWkukkdg1
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijpbumJU5a

「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP5GaD9SLp
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPD0Yw4kvu
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDhbYMLqqT

至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PufLo4NRq
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkXnioXJya
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivrGKo01CU

「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdaOW8iz6c

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX5VOi69zg
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxHAZ3eQAw
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd476Nxo5WQ

「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyO4pa6Wckj
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eOJePBtbJ

「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRrF9DpcCP
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQ5pKhXBD9
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCVGapa94s
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwroZpv5KUq

「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6SPfCNn53
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「你本來說歐威爾。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt52mnnnQIv
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「那、那是一時口誤……」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0fBHmzxLD
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoj1gkYATU
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHz6ENO9Kme

「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtgroJdudP
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEzlFLDg8C

「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrC00CvGBo
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LjGwq70JK
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYSWOMiAan

「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJ0cf9ISqF
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEO7knY5fnc

簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDorHgu5w6
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV4YbNBovM
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3u0rfe6Rgw

「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaSbXYGGte
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyauHp6QTzm
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6TrgGBbVi

「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmb5PcNwGgk
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsnRwvh5jB

「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEvwHkNsX2
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOOpCL4Tl6

「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzO8I7sFnWi
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRPJFY1L2G
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她根本就沒在聽啊！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcqtQGmX2Z
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGWAdOF9WQ

「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFwbLCwiur
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvXbmXWMxP

他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEeIlBGlEA
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrfZjfgCsl

「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuWslzTFg6
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MzDVSQKij

「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBeKrwECi6
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHH8DEiuOr

「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0vPmUmLAE
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpJ5GF6JSf
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKjKfJHftn

所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KZdARchMT
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRF02yX5ZP

「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWc45JKj3E5
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「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkguwqmTORP
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「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayRBKefTF7
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuITZ6YGhn2

她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK57tyO55FT
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兩次。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZDbmJ3ZTF
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYDy2lBlaQ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM05tVtQUgz

「三岐同學真壞。」

406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlkJzvSKlI

「好糟糕喔。」

406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj94WIuSwHK

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqd8DdGb0d
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說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtkLwFXjYi
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsL6vMyNC7D

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs1PpZ1gVh
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9KXfXBPVR

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSh0pF1DDe
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R6Y5piv0j

「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm0fj7Z9sr
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLyzhlAAhT

「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPjr5fjHyJ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyJKL4A1sJ

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQWVJRqrWX
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「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYKchK47rq
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ834wBKOfmk

「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSpCRlsdKJ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyBbO8RHyT

「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUahAh3ijya
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「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4fW1bEYjz
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ikBQ3XoDB

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoNFzPZgAP
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO2SjZgYRL

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kiG7KBddi
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3zkRSGIcu

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhP5vmnnKa
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcJuJLzBYB

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5GpApKhOk
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP7Am64wgE

「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0HUTHmIY3
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL25h3UpFQG

「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLONFgN0cD
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcxyWHCXKw

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38tTJjpSTV
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZP4BmdMEq
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    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiGOuH88N0
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSvdL2HNop
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  當日結果：406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTmU7AN0kC

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxRZ1awYbK
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCo7cIE8VJ
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbBeGGz1nO
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57RPUvLxFM
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柳困依然單身。

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第一章 體育課！

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第一章體育課！