「咁你呢，又點呀？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUj0bMrihp
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgM1t2WaFE6
阿樂問。這段時間，他和青青接觸得不多，他們的吃飯時間，各有各。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfZymd1eOb
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOBtxaVRqw
「托賴，幾好吖。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8B6nRnIbv
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZuCmE9Qi8
「你咁樣叫幾好？咪玩啦。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR38jZQQryV
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiYUHIjEvM
即使不夠光，但阿樂還是看得出青青的憔悴，突然又說：「上磅睇吓。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW0h7Y6zcY
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy57UDibL4x
阿樂想確認是不是他的錯覺——他覺得青青越來越瘦。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JyViTI1NY
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6sj6AucnL
然後搬出體重磅，叫她站上去，電子屏幕顯示37.1kg，身高只得米五多一點的她其實不特別瘦，只是脂肪輕。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2EqWyuWgR
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7nbWuZuh1
「搞咩啊，宜家仲要係夜晚，啫係已經重咗……761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrP21yZzEzK
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8so6m3JQF
我煮啲飯唔好食咩？你遲啲返到屋企，你阿媽會唔會以為我哋唔俾飽飯你食㗎？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3EKr3zb3c
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQseE52rNe
阿樂卻知道她的臉一點點地削下去，原本包得很的圓臉已經消減，和她Instagram的舊相差很遠。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MWCaYLbII
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Vdm78uMdi
「好食吖，已經慢慢食多咗㗎啦！未到啫未到啫。」她說。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i86qFK4ZO
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMMinvx07g
失戀之後，青青的身體差了很多。晚上失眠只在被窩裏漆黑地消耗入睡的耐心，入睡之後卻不斷醒來，有時被雨聲吵醒，有時是發夢嚇醒，有時就是不知何故就醒，每天都只能睡一會兒。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKJH1GdvUS
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcah2msoZFs
白天的胃口不是特別好，總感覺整個人都很暈。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoyVhwn1a3
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuElZSypyB
她有吃飯，但也就是為了活命吃的，有時感覺不到餓就隨便吃兩口，即使阿樂煮得很好。晚上又會忽然有心癮暴食，吃完之後又覺得愧疚。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhL0FAOkFk
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡic4X77Jvna
她的憔悴體現在臉上，眼皮的膠原蛋白流失，眼窩就變深，令她的雙眼皮有點老氣。黑眼圈也明顯，連上眼皮都像塗了大地色系眼影一樣。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIErXbNxv4
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNMngKW4Ha
月經來了一個多星期後，下體又少量出血，不知何故；頭髮大把大把的掉，面臨少年脫髮危機；胃在反覆的飽和餓之間，經常隱隱作痛。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4VzJOp2uc
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1BV0B0fv4
每天都不想做任何事。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKFQKngAjO
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJexUfnXWn
如果看數字，她確實跌磅了，上年的八月她比現在重五公斤。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFUOijv9YD
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBeavE5TnR
明明，她是她家人、朋友的寶，為什麼要這樣自我折磨呢？看來脫落的不只是曲折的頭髮，看來還有智商和理智……761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lGbeUuQMa
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtahYlMxDg
明明，她很清楚，就算她橫屍街頭，已離棄她的人都不會在意，最多像看新聞那樣心裏閃過一刻的惻然，假裝悲情地歎一口氣，然後遺忘她的存在、過自己的快活日子。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysz0K0JuEN
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkup3DlAgW
阿樂向青青投向懷疑的眼神，她再強調：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROWlvKmXsP
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZaM4kQAAZ
「放心啦，邊睇得出。而且，我已經有食返多啲嘢啦。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR572zpxtxl
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIXfXdkpBY
「係咪酸嘢易入口啲？聽日煲番茄湯？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p8RBf80QE
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlL80uRoEz
「好——」她的聲音戛然而止，又說：「我諗緊聽日出唔出街。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKs6JeY9iYc
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NV5GTLdzl
最近的好多事，她都不想和好朋友說，因為其實也只是小事吧；而且，她的驕傲不允許她說太多真心的脆弱。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnH8AWhFIP
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLC886q8Oa
此刻的環境，如阿樂剖白心聲那樣，感染了她，突然覺得晚上就應該大肆地分享，好的壞的也是。阿樂和她只相識了兩個月，她感覺可以在他面前不用握緊無謂的自尊。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgmEK14RhV
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMUeWI5grT
何況，他們如此親厚。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8S2MmgrTm
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaS828wyRi
阿樂問：「去邊？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeXK4XRbAE
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOdhA4lYgX
青青站起，去房拿出電話，決定給阿樂看她的WhatsApp對話。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7s23uCqXKu
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8KBdD3DT3
她的一個中學同學Sean，從朋友處知道她失戀，然後開始頻繁地找她聊天，講一些曖昧的話。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9uasmTvaW
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R97VuYMOe
青青直接問：「你想媾我？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWb0S8vgPK
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOARJHXR6q
Sean回答：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNkEeUZPVm
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv3baSf2Vj
「係。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsgS1vZQ5Z
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuaiS9ArBE
以前中學嗰陣我已經鍾意你，諗住DSE完就同你表白。但你嗰時已經有男朋友。所以，我都係冇講到出口，淨係Grad Din嗰陣揾咗你影相。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQoVv8rQR8
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwFLMB3o14
隔了兩小時，Sean見青青未有回覆，又道：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrfpfOq9rr
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdeQZyKxw7
「不如我哋聽日出嚟食餐飯？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpg1HmDtVBK
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoIwj0BP4H
阿樂看完後，說：「佢都幾積極吖，去吓囉。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGPqIaB4di
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5ygAZVVDL
他完全沒有吃醋、難過。他認清，情感一時的高温驅使他對青青有意，但短短十幾天的時間已足以冷卻。反而，如今她聽他講心事，他也想做一樣的事。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OEfteGNgb
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonHntNeAlD
「唔知啊……好突然啊好似。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgLReYNTJv
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HPpojQ62J
除了通識分組同一班、初中曾經同過班，青青和Sean根本沒有太多接觸，她都不知道他喜歡她什麼。不，應該說，她都不太認識Sean，她只知他成績不錯、朋友不少；長相若不是查看了Instagram，可能也陌生得記不起來。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQchPmHEJ5
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgQCPQ73Ml
「想試咪去囉。」阿樂鼓勵。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkKPoo8jPE
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkxKXlifko
「想試啊，但係，又唔敢。」青青停頓數秒，又講：「都係算啦，唔會得㗎啦。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5ziuIeLIB
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtYGeUBiFY
她突然直覺和Sean不會後續了，她突然覺得毫無心思，在這寧靜的空間裏，分辨自己的念頭。她回覆Sean：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSYKS5Zzu2
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcagCZm1VoH
「Sorry，我唔想。多謝你。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaYkZoVz9h
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalamX6sLEJ
阿樂邊看青青看電話，邊調侃她：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgv6VjtxkU
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeU2t9AQl2e
「咁我咪好好彩，話哂你都肯試。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dBA3aTeTq
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9T6tmn6D53
「係呀係呀。」她也笑。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmQ8KXInlJ
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIT5pB5DTBP
阿樂質疑：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQR5Ut6UM4
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz3VRNIojH
「點解唔敢呀？唔係叫我狗衝㗎咩，要勇敢㗎嘛？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzKXLVV80f
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MyNOaifQZ
青青思考，然後緩緩地道：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YVckq9E08
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZX4A8ik3q
「我好驚啊因為。我太垃圾啦。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UcwHnxMRc
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevPC7oIRIz
啫係，我成日都覺得，無論幾鍾意都好，最後都係會走咁。我頂唔順呀，我份人好撚老土㗎！拍拖要拍到八十歲，一生一世㗎嘛。但可能，真係太天真，宜家又仲咁後生。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSyhVRbBRp
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7SsvYtoZ7
我好唔鍾意呢一個過程——好唔容易先至全心全意認定一個人，由冷漠去到開始熱情、開始信任對方，然後佢就走咗去。其實係咪我問題？係唔係好易接受㗎？761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNP8nmm4Hls
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyJoJPai6r
因為佢，好似一啲都冇唔捨得我啊。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzc12lUXCn
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQKgjmL4tm
青青緊盯前方的電視，阿樂見狀，突然醒起什麼似的，開啟電視，又放了一隻DVD進去。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98aYpZchEI
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlc1VGLglf
畫面出現一個火爐，火在熊熊燃燒。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIpQlutgQ6
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9sOriN7xH
「搞咩啊？」青青不解。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6RF8D0W1z
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhP3CYe6Kd
「之前買咗呢隻碟，播住睇，感覺個人會温暖啲。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUNv9UiUj6
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm3edBN746
「宜家夏天喎Ching！」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8SNmAQbDU
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8H7ynVfuG6
「你個心咁凍，啱㗎啦。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5h4nnK5z1H
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuuZSR5HhY
阿樂微笑，青青覺得很奇異。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRzsrM25dw
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9CJhoHVb9
電視上的火光在搖動，映在了他們的眼裏，也透着橙紅色的活潑。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS64tUaOaoJ
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA7XV7WD3Z
「OK啦。」她的心沒有變暖，但確實覺得很有趣，竟有人花錢買這種碟看。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClLqnV5mga
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6gT2ZUZ5x
「因為咁，所以唔信人？」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXbmpDV2xq
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT6FIAm7Ns
阿樂回到剛才的話題，青青正色：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgTI6WVMxX
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4QxxYMDsG
「係啊，好似覺得，無論對方幾愛，到最後都係會走。佢夠話愛我一生一世啦，夠話以後淨係愛我一個啦……起初唔信㗎我，後來我信，之後佢就飛咗我啦。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdf2WuNTPW
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHftHCbYYvE
頂……我成個怨婦咁。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JFDCYcUPP
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9ON8vyvCK
青青自嘲。乾癟癟地「哈」了一下。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOPDGZa09b
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz4h60yGMb
她發現自己有些恐懼。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfJlvAT0oq
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwTEL1SSAc
到底，曾經甜蜜如Matt的愛意，最後也化煙。明明是Matt追求青青、首先表達愛意，亦在戀愛中對她極好，令信心不足的她從懷疑到沉淪。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcQbi3FNS5
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLtV0ugYke
明明是他先到來入侵她的生活。仿佛，二人為新居添置不同的傢俬和私人物品一樣，眼見室內環境已經非常完善；但他宣佈要走，隨即撤離其私人物品，卻留下共同購買的傢俬，供她睹物思人、念記舊時歡喜；她卻因這居室過分和暖而心無怨懟，無法盡興地發洩情緒，獨得傷心在無眠夜裏壓着她。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNcAkzHox3
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIMPoUg0mP
最後，Matt離開。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54eYUsa6gE
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57FwQiUdpD
她可笑地見證了這一段關係的興落，從築起到繁華，最終傾頹。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUappjYjdFD
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EnWhySNLW
她始知，原來，愛情是這樣的一回事。愛，兩個人，開心，然後不開心。某些Happy ending，唯有期望將來會有。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpCn7AQjhm
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UBXuE79es
阿樂破了她的處，沒有令她長大，那不過是幾個姿勢、幾番高潮、幾潭愛液，處女膜破裂，只是暫時的生理性疼痛。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuvD175ZAT
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bChYSbpEN
但是，Matt的光臨與離任，真令她成為大人——不是好人、不是壞人，僅僅是一個「大人」，她開始明白許多道理，那些她有過的天真的熱愛，都冷硬起來，被摔到地上粉碎得無法拼湊，像攤開手就忘情飛揚的骨灰。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5Nmye1Stk
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yBjfxhpTE
是Matt教青青：愛情世界是殘酷的。曾經她想像過的一生一世，其實只是童話般的幻想……761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMX8ssrrfB
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdTBHJJN1Q
而他們，已過了讀童話的心境了，因只想窺探幸福快樂之後的日子。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKGgp4zemg
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZno5mWajNN
阿樂只好拍拍青青的肩。761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYVCvYFGqf
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWa2qtQ3Qp7
此時，阿樂又冷不防地說了一句：761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaGE5IoSBp
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRy3by5wJ2
「佢嗰句『Love you forever』，可能係Made in China。」761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4ywW131ic
761Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSLGDALWhV
青青被此話篤中笑點，覺得很抵死。
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