我和傾姐坐在沙發上，一同蓋在被子下。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDhz3I0PXc
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlS3chr8m0
拉上被子，右手拿出麥提莎，放進口裡。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCICJ55gma
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3iEk66p3d
「咬下——」明白了。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInP9fCJjzo
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdulKwj5SB
目前，我知道了她和蔣少的關係。基本上，蔣家和家裡給予她的壓力，使她過著一個沒有自由的人生。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChKZ1m0TYm
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6olWHQuC6K
難怪，她會向神許願，祈求能夠脫離現有的生活。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cRl9BOfHM
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Go09CDgdE
脫離現有的生活？慢著，那不正是我做過的，最誇張的一件事嗎？705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfL0zsZILB
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkZtb3bWn4
封閉自己的內心，流落孤島，徹底地脫離原本的生活。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxqECERJ3e
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD6fQi1G0r
神是不是故意的？705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgGL7q8cBE
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQjOt1URnY
竟然……安排這種測試給我。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYu6CAk2Sb
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gWHLay5gw
我望望時鐘，時間奇怪了。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ykkfButtn
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxRTVVsyVO
牆上時鐘還沒到達兩點，顯示著一個奇怪的時間。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eoqhTdDOq
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNuAHuOLP3
「雖然你好想幫我，但其實我唔係一個值得幫嘅女仔嚟。」傾姐訴說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7PLjwdRra
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn8GnaJ9zO
「點解咁講？」我問，準備再取下一粒。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByR16fWPmV
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Q3b4Kl4CK
「因為欺凌同學嘅人，唔止得蔣少，我都有份。」她自白。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfuo07OUek
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dJlNVaL9u
「唔止有份，我仲縱容陳菲菲佢地去蝦其他人。」她繼續說，「就好似之前，要逼李可兒除底褲咁。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWlwUGiaLb
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mrAG6Ciah
「我做過嘅壞事，一啲都唔少。」她說，「如果唔係，啲人都唔會咁驚我，我都唔會有傾姐今日嘅地位。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fmAtmk4aH
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLdmHIaNNF
「有一次，中六蔣少啲friend想約女仔出去玩，希望我介紹幾個畀佢地，我都介紹咗。」她黯然說，「雖然……我明知會發生咩事。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiOpJ61otO
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXnCXBj9Hj
「唔好再講喇。」我說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMlnWFFHNh
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8QfgCwS8O
「如果你係想幫我嘅，至少，我想你知道真正嘅陸傾兒係一個咩人。」她認真地說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4cyFPTNJg
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbT5LVPDhm
然後我沒有再阻止她。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlU3spGOcC
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyz2dNUU3b
讓她一直說著自己的壞，說著自己欺負了多少人，威脅了多少人，傷害過多少人。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCgcljQLi4
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOhOnAKBtA
聽著，我聽到了熟悉的聲音。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcG3OOkYkk
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQXr57DBXu
不是我也做過這些事，而是我也說過這些話，一些自責的話。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIUqfJm3a0
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb4zSpskQc
透過用言語來責罰自己，讓自己好過一點。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQKKOUbq08
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1hC9iS99L
除此之外，在寂靜的夜裡，受著海風的吹襲，以虐待自己的方式來受罰；透過惡言惡語，破壞別人對自己的印象，讓別人討厭自己，也是懲罰自己的方式。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCWpaCjpMA
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIrIeexTCJ
如今她正企圖破壞自己的形象，破壞她在我心中的印象。彷彿期望著我拒絕她，同時又期盼著我接受這樣的她。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesWM4fLpY5
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uuTw420vQ
聽著，聽著，聽見了哽咽。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TlPPmlwls
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrm2CPFBcH
「Sorry。」她垂下頭，「你聽完，覺得點……仲想唔想幫我？」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mnDFZaatp
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYbGb79wOv
「定係……」她自我形象低落，幾乎抽泣，「你已經想即刻趕我走？」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRijosR9aAS
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA6Q2RuTFn
「做咩唔講嘢？」她問，終於望向我，「喂……」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNcqHKskNC
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLCxWswYF7
我也正在難過。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolRB0ts7B0
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTT5bVYbFY7
「啜泣……」我哭了，抹抹眼睛，「Sorry.。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiPqTwQ73Y
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbcSW5b0eo
「你做咩喊？」傾姐問。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cLyYJzHP9
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtGmHrgIVg
「因為我好擔心你。」我照直說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBrV9KAqxr
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKP1ZFaRXUh
「點解？」她問。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vFo8KzcH8
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wx5pvZiH6
怕你走上跟我一樣的路。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4bkXiQBLl
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpNbIUxDe2
「我驚你太過自責，之後會做傻事。」我說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQv5sjQ8mZ
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNES2FvrwL8
同是做壞事的人，同是不原諒自己的人。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXmKNAfwjE
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyd21ucTfw
但是困在孤島的人、封閉內心的人，有我一個就夠了。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf0aEJnLMf
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3hYbfrI7K
「我亦都好感動，你肯講畀我知。」我說，收住了淚。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKOHm98T5K
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa73sIlOzKZ
只要說了出來，就不會鎖在心上了。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwIqBxnb2o
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaveF2asRL
「其實我已經做緊傻事。」陸傾兒說，「我上網識男仔，或者可能……都期望緊會發生意外。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeXGVkwZJv
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILUDxlff4H
「如果我畀人非禮、姦咗，出咗醜聞，蔣少一家人可能就唔會再鍾意我，我就可以解脫……」她說，「從此唔再需要理屋企人嘅指示。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZftzwTX9r
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqZFtRLt5A
這是……什麼爛方法？705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPhE2Z1eLh
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUYRpKtSuA
即使要折磨自己，也不是這樣的吧！705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYoHdwMKMb
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfMSLYsH9G
在被子裡的手，握緊了拳。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyj1N3cBH9h
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5WzRpXtvJ
「哩個都係一個方法嚟嘅。」我漠然地說，「只係，有一個條件。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRzXqNtSUU
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlM4DhH4P1
「咩條件？」她問。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDBM0X5eJ1
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFEL8kLTno
「搞你嗰個人，要係我。」我說，「除我之外嘅人，你諗都唔好諗。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthFaommTFG
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6X3Z9bqcG
陸傾兒笑了，哈哈地笑了。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2vSvJqJr8
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Zps0t3PcC
「點解？你同其他人有咩分別？點解要係你先得？」她笑著，笑容漸漸僵硬。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ48ZokD7yT
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoP9wfEmw5
「因為其他男人搞完你，就唔會理你，而我會繼續幫你。」我說，「雖然我未必可以長期係你身邊……」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9Ozz7dGAy
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4KRUmmxzy
但即使我身在遠方，我都一樣會擔心著你，為你的人生而牽掛。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWiVmj8GaF
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzG02htXQsS
「你可以點幫我？」她問，「撇除哩個方法唔計，你有咩方法幫到我？」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2NqrolQVx
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdslRLwV6FJ
「我已經答咗你好多問題，你已經知道咗我好多嘢。」她繼續說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiiZw9mE3d
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivhqTj3C3P
「孫正直，你可以點幫我？點幫陸傾兒？」她問，很想知道。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohqHxQnGfM
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavsuJcTd1f
鬆開了麥提莎，我輕放在地上。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgaNjDLC37
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0nPvGB03c
「我唔係神，冇可能幫你解決所有問題。」我說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG010zilInD
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Xdn057tw
「咁你可以點幫我？」她追問。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmhU0s4X9Z
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQLIXW2Gno
她遇上的困境，不是耍一點小聰明就可以解決的。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CKaZyEewa
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4h4pjhvcd
也不是叫她離家出走、自食其力、無視家人等，就可以過上美好的生活。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wEfA1eBcM
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhe3wses0H
「我都冇咩方法可以幫你。」我說，淚水情不自禁，「但係……」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQOoSTgOjI
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAblV0fye1
「當你凍嘅時候，我會幫你戴一條頸巾。當你想講嘢嘅時候，我會靜靜地咁聽。當你想喊嘅時候，我可以借個膊頭畀你。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHW1KdkSplz
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISMUgL8FVz
「今晚嘅我，只係可以……今晚嘅我只可以……做到咁。」我抽泣地說，「對唔住。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtb1EXjBQgK
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy32S9IXG5e
說完，她聽完。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rG0yhqt41
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbtjKvCyKs
「明白，我明白。」她說，「好多謝你今晚可以陪我，好多謝你，可以為我喊。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4CQVdCzeq
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEGSo3CO1c
「我成世女，都冇人為我喊過。」她誠懇地說，準備離開，「好多謝你，孫正直，我有少少感動。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aQLEBzf4F
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyGQqyk8EE
等等，時間還沒到兩點，仍然是1點35分而已。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQim6lcsXb
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3c0u2X2oh
「你係第一個為陸傾兒喊嘅人。」她看著我說，「你值得我，畀一個獎勵你。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwpBwt1KEn
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6gUmNYxB3
被子從她身上落下，露出了她的頸巾、衣服，和手上的電池。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sS7iGCN2y
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPURr8we2XT
「個鐘粒電，我係你去廁所嗰時拆咗。」她還給我，「唔好意思，因為哩個係唯一阻止時間流逝嘅方法。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcZa5O7bAa
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JDzAD5XEH
「但我依加要走喇。」她說，「實在太夜喇，聽朝仲要早起。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4XGM4iogd
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpdxgfQfEd
「陸傾兒……」我說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSjGZx4nem
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMkrOwPuMQ
「我畀你揀啦，一個獎勵，當最後一回合係我輸咗，而我揀大膽。」她睄一眼空酒瓶。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxQEtSUHde
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhhOPiYCWP
「揀咩都得？」我問。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcj4Fiv25QK
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GR0kCznqv
「你揀之前，我仲想講一樣嘢就係，你雪櫃根本有勁多啤酒，我搵到嘅開瓶器，就係係你雪櫃個蛋格到搵到。」她說，「但你唔想我飲，寧願呃我話冇酒。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcvQPW1VsA
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGWGcD9AaP
「哩個世界點解會有你哩啲咁嘅人？」她泛淚，卻微笑。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08CDLdoqGF
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxPzYgrw4T
而我不懂回答。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBehIRYVrN6
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9DtXz9esQ
我是知道有酒的，昨天就知道了。我也知道時鐘被拆了電池，只是不說破而已。我猜她也知道我知道，才會在默契之下，延長了時間。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN25DJ62Oup
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaBcok5r9h
「陸傾兒，我揀……」我準備說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfjybAipdC
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBf3jV1qW2
「你會唔會想揀錫我一啖？」她先說，站在我的面前。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWY0PJP07t
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlm05riYs6Y
我展露微笑，問，「你覺得我敢唔敢？敢唔敢揀哩樣？同傾姐錫一啖。」705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpBECWROtv
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7I1fH70qJa
「視乎你驚唔驚死。」她說。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsskYnOwpAG
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hlC66Kcpx
「我驚死，我當然驚死。」我說，慢慢翻開被子。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYfPVIbxP6
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIu1F7vreH
「但唔係今晚。」我也選了大膽。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgE2ugEPsAv
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8ffHdGIWo
過後——705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOwi7ZTAQX
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQggGmGDYa
沙發上只留下一條米黃淺啡間條頸巾。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey8EVxgjvc
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnX8yneesh
屁股坐下。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5vQIUltC6
705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeV19sjJFh
還有開了一瓶啤酒的我。705Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iT3O3ohoJ
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