保母車照例送她回家,在熟悉的巷口停下。星野莉奈道了謝,自己拎著包包下車,朝家的門口走去。12Please respect copyright.PENANAxn7K2h5oqX
12Please respect copyright.PENANAztJdkiKmr9
夜裡的風很輕,路燈把影子拉得很長。她聽見鞋跟在路面上輕輕敲出的聲響,一聲一聲,孤獨得像在空白的紙上打字。12Please respect copyright.PENANAB9MXd8nLB6
12Please respect copyright.PENANAtg3yXUaTSc
進了家門,星野莉奈換上室內拖鞋,動作輕得幾乎聽不見聲音。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuaTNQof6HJ
12Please respect copyright.PENANAEsXUsKPJBD
包包放在玄關的小桌上,她頓了頓,還是小心地擺正,把背帶理順。12Please respect copyright.PENANAs7hyIRglec
12Please respect copyright.PENANAsrYNZF3gHF
外套掛好,扣子一顆一顆扣上。收拾得,像在收拾自己。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuo9hTyQIrf
12Please respect copyright.PENANAzoHdOZyyXt
她取出放在外套口袋裡的手機,走到客廳,放在長桌上,靜靜坐下。12Please respect copyright.PENANA7cMgyWWjqO
客廳很安靜,只有冰箱運轉的低鳴聲在耳邊繞。12Please respect copyright.PENANAkFcjezyeMN
12Please respect copyright.PENANA5j5Po0wceK
星野莉奈抱著膝蓋,坐在沙發的一角,手指輕輕摳著自己衣服上的線頭。12Please respect copyright.PENANAiK2IrZFT6Y
12Please respect copyright.PENANANGPKvI5t3o
過了很久,她才伸手拿起手機。12Please respect copyright.PENANA7N6V6FKnGE
12Please respect copyright.PENANA89UkquRzFH
打開通訊軟體,滑到最上方那個置頂的對話框。12Please respect copyright.PENANAqknv5Z6WeA
12Please respect copyright.PENANAGlf1dcIP9k
上一次的訊息還停留在五天前,在他們要去球賽前,只有一行簡短的「你在球場上的樣子真的超帥」。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuSCPupqILr
12Please respect copyright.PENANA2gr8617CZ4
只有已讀標記,沒有新的回覆。12Please respect copyright.PENANAEfpHyeqyna
12Please respect copyright.PENANAkT649weaNt
她盯著那個對話框看了很久很久。指尖滑動到輸入欄,敲了幾個字,又慢慢刪掉。12Please respect copyright.PENANAQtkdJrT5AY
12Please respect copyright.PENANAdwHfIyRufb
想說什麼呢?12Please respect copyright.PENANAYMyQWp2cfn
說「你看起來很好」嗎?12Please respect copyright.PENANAKmffOtJiJd
太多餘了——他會看到,但也不一定會回。12Please respect copyright.PENANAghlS2FU1Zh
12Please respect copyright.PENANAxLIUHJhe1R
說「我今天也有努力喔」?12Please respect copyright.PENANA20H04OsPGb
會不會像是在邀功?要期待人家回什麼?12Please respect copyright.PENANAW2gq8VBViG
12Please respect copyright.PENANAt5zreSLooB
還是問「你的比賽怎麼樣」?12Please respect copyright.PENANALQJF6MFSy9
「你有沒有揍那個前鋒了」?12Please respect copyright.PENANAYEJ9tJnNmM
12Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6pajxs5b4
可是他可能沒空詳細說他們的賽況;也沒有理由真的去揍那個前鋒。12Please respect copyright.PENANA6Dcl8bFhe3
12Please respect copyright.PENANABDqgsOLOjL
那——要不要乾脆只傳一個表情符號?12Please respect copyright.PENANAXTvTbEOksf
一個不會被誤會、也不會太明顯的微笑?12Please respect copyright.PENANA56KVjeM2uI
12Please respect copyright.PENANA7jJjN1V5tq
還是——12Please respect copyright.PENANAZyMqUPjB2E
什麼都不說,只顯示上線狀態,讓他知道,她還在這裡。12Please respect copyright.PENANA9itT5SxWb4
12Please respect copyright.PENANA2L3NP1Hca7
還在這裡,一個人。12Please respect copyright.PENANAEvX5DKsF18
12Please respect copyright.PENANAguGY8MO4Ml
手機螢幕因為長時間沒有操作,自動暗了下來。12Please respect copyright.PENANAOnFEVd1GRt
12Please respect copyright.PENANApaYwmqm8x3
星野莉奈沒有再打開。12Please respect copyright.PENANArVZbWYQj0O
她把手機翻面扣在桌上,怕再看到什麼,又怕什麼都沒有。12Please respect copyright.PENANAqAfYrvPSHY
12Please respect copyright.PENANAe8ttXAqofy
然後,她慢慢縮回沙發的角落,把自己抱得更小。12Please respect copyright.PENANAaA9q1iaQ9N
外面的風輕輕吹過陽台的門縫,帶來一點夜裡的冷意。12Please respect copyright.PENANAV1KvYbGDMl
12Please respect copyright.PENANAGde8eGoLN6
她靠著沙發背,閉上眼睛。12Please respect copyright.PENANA0eGDEJFnCE
12Please respect copyright.PENANAx91VMJ9HW6
沒有哭。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuGVkqw4X9N
12Please respect copyright.PENANAc4Id93FcVq
也沒有期待誰會來敲門。12Please respect copyright.PENANAqIUMRlianP
只是靜靜地,和自己待在這個空蕩蕩的客廳裡。12Please respect copyright.PENANAXBV751afgx
12Please respect copyright.PENANAmBSVhuXpWO
就像很多個夜晚一樣。12Please respect copyright.PENANAdNMNea5pEI
12Please respect copyright.PENANA68XGtX1iDA
她一直都是這樣走過來的。12Please respect copyright.PENANArvKR4P0JWk
12Please respect copyright.PENANAsQ9NlhHbXN
這次也可以。12Please respect copyright.PENANAy1RK7P3MVK
12Please respect copyright.PENANAiSql6be7ct
「莉奈?」12Please respect copyright.PENANAD5UVHj8vG4
12Please respect copyright.PENANA4vEaVCiCkC
星野莉奈把眼睛睜開,看見媽媽穿著家居服,手上拿著溫熱的巧克力牛奶和提拉米蘇切片蛋糕,還有一小盒切好的水果,輕手輕腳地走下樓來。12Please respect copyright.PENANAkOuZxSuuot
12Please respect copyright.PENANAlhAQMjZcMX
「聽到聲音了,才放心。」12Please respect copyright.PENANABTd77YaJ6s
12Please respect copyright.PENANAMkhdN4GBpk
她邊說邊靠近,像是怕驚動什麼一樣,動作溫柔又輕。12Please respect copyright.PENANAE894kj2MCX
12Please respect copyright.PENANAQmLUb7n8hS
「今天回來時順路看到,就買了一點。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAvMJhr3kJYw
12Please respect copyright.PENANAUJPwlOXy8F
媽媽輕描淡寫地笑著,把東西放在茶几上。12Please respect copyright.PENANA6nFC2HtAxE
12Please respect copyright.PENANAoZ4TZ4nDPG
「我可是藏得很辛苦,才沒被妳爸爸偷拿去吃呢。」12Please respect copyright.PENANACrOEpmhqzU
12Please respect copyright.PENANAGB9RRGHa0v
星野莉奈點點頭,沒說話。12Please respect copyright.PENANAtdXvMIjb5R
12Please respect copyright.PENANAlr0IHeetfO
「趁熱熱的喝,比較好喝。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAiNCL7oycyV
12Please respect copyright.PENANA3WzuNMM8Jm
星野莉奈視線停在那杯巧克力牛奶上,杯緣冒著微微熱氣。旁邊提拉米蘇蛋糕的高脂肪乳酪,上面還填蓋一層層奶油——12Please respect copyright.PENANA4HoUdO5Aop
12Please respect copyright.PENANAAA6ugpmYaF
「不急著變得更好,今天先吃飽就好。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAFGHP9J4sYU
12Please respect copyright.PENANAjJS1pQ4JWJ
媽媽笑了笑,拍拍她的手背。12Please respect copyright.PENANAF27cMxVk7t
12Please respect copyright.PENANA1srZ2mtSjz
星野莉奈抬起頭,視線越過媽媽的肩膀,落在牆上的那張照片——12Please respect copyright.PENANALkA4440i6e
此刻照片裡的她,正穿著家居服站在自己面前,笑容跟牆上照片模特兒一模一樣——眼神一樣溫柔堅定,聲音一樣輕。12Please respect copyright.PENANACSOXeNiDYM
12Please respect copyright.PENANAxn6s0w4bEZ
她鼻尖微微發酸,輕輕點頭。12Please respect copyright.PENANApcN5qL4lh2
12Please respect copyright.PENANAZAtZOzYBZr
星野莉奈一直都知道,自己崇拜的那個人——不是因為她站在鎂光燈下,而是因為每一個像現在這樣的時刻。12Please respect copyright.PENANARYeJzIZF2k
12Please respect copyright.PENANAadj7smoDhQ
媽媽在她對面的單人沙發坐下,輕輕舒了一口氣,像累了很久,終於可以休息一下。12Please respect copyright.PENANAsI7qLddNFW
12Please respect copyright.PENANA4dCIVWc4uU
過了好一會兒,她才開口,語氣又輕又帶著一點笑意:12Please respect copyright.PENANA8xwL45WFhN
12Please respect copyright.PENANApohIAhRBs2
「還在想小冴啊?」12Please respect copyright.PENANATrdHyfqrKk
12Please respect copyright.PENANAXuQcGmOfya
言語裡帶著寵溺,就像提到什麼頑皮又惹人喜歡的小動物。12Please respect copyright.PENANApSH6rJbswc
12Please respect copyright.PENANArCWUFizLPx
星野莉奈怔了一下,眼眶瞬間酸了。低下頭,小小地吸了一口氣,沒回話。12Please respect copyright.PENANA5SEQqQngxp
12Please respect copyright.PENANA2rfnO3kNCc
媽媽沒有逼問,只是歪著頭,笑得更溫柔了些,是心疼,又笑她太傻、太認真。12Please respect copyright.PENANA9YBAhjJTDb
12Please respect copyright.PENANAtWQZXgDKxF
「那孩子啊,從小就不太會說話,悶悶的;嘴巴硬得要命,心卻軟得不得了。明明什麼都放在心上,偏偏開口的時候,說出來的都是會惹人誤會的話。」12Please respect copyright.PENANARqslD3gd8w
12Please respect copyright.PENANAywjZLgxvRQ
她笑了一下,沒什麼無奈,彷彿在說自家孩子,再麻煩都覺得可愛。12Please respect copyright.PENANAui6gKmKlB5
12Please respect copyright.PENANAwCgFTlrHAF
「傻得很可愛。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAfVyQ3lUTYt
12Please respect copyright.PENANA0MbpUliGU8
媽媽靠進沙發椅背,像在說一個輕輕的故事。12Please respect copyright.PENANAeeEegVHPA3
12Please respect copyright.PENANAzV145piZwf
「偏偏妳就看得出來,他其實一直有在注意身邊的事——只是他不習慣出聲,不習慣被綁住。就像那天我看他來家裡,鞋子擺得整整齊齊的,手上東西也沒忘記拿,話雖然不多,但我說一句,他都聽得進去。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAUgoDySXbEi
12Please respect copyright.PENANAyYMNhIrfqa
星野莉奈咬著唇,肩膀微微顫了一下。12Please respect copyright.PENANA1nnGIaUI9S
12Please respect copyright.PENANAn8t6EVX7fk
「冴那孩子不會說喜歡妳,不會說想妳,也不會主動牽手⋯⋯但每次妳跌倒了,都是他站在妳後面,手放在妳背上,等妳自己站起來——從小就是這樣呢。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAxQ6xbMkf2K
12Please respect copyright.PENANAlok9LHT4oo
星野莉奈很安靜,雙手卻把曲起的雙膝抱得更緊。12Please respect copyright.PENANAHl0KQ5LLuM
媽媽靜靜看了她一會兒,然後緩緩地站起來,走到她身邊。12Please respect copyright.PENANAFCBAN6oCHK
12Please respect copyright.PENANAxGI6GR860X
什麼都沒說,只是坐下,輕輕把她摟進懷裡。12Please respect copyright.PENANA905guDUr7s
12Please respect copyright.PENANA3g78TCr7C9
沒有太用力,也沒有多餘的語言。12Please respect copyright.PENANAH7Ho22HWtG
只是這麼靜靜地,把她抱住。12Please respect copyright.PENANAQkdSzbWuiB
12Please respect copyright.PENANA83WAh8NIyJ
一開始星野莉奈還僵著,像是不太習慣。12Please respect copyright.PENANAs6rEsSEimK
但很快,她慢慢地,把額頭靠進媽媽的肩膀。像終於找到可以喘氣的地方。12Please respect copyright.PENANAamJsdiwf3h
12Please respect copyright.PENANA9ymqgst0cp
媽媽一隻手輕輕拍著她的背,低低地說:12Please respect copyright.PENANAJplTBt37Ne
12Please respect copyright.PENANA4Wtpc7TYxw
「辛苦了,寶貝。真的很辛苦了。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAJhF4oukSlk
12Please respect copyright.PENANAGxMNYrGTBu
星野莉奈緊緊閉著眼,眼淚無聲地滑下來。12Please respect copyright.PENANAY0SzpL4cc1
12Please respect copyright.PENANAVek1xVlVT2
媽媽輕輕拍著星野莉奈的背,過了一會兒,輕聲笑了:12Please respect copyright.PENANAEggPHIR8sD
12Please respect copyright.PENANAu6ne9mSBIP
「媽媽啊,年輕的時候也有過喔。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAkAZ7lcji4T
12Please respect copyright.PENANAjL9piWyFba
星野莉奈動了動,沒有抬頭,但她聽見了。媽媽的手一邊順著她的背,一邊慢慢地說:12Please respect copyright.PENANACm9EWH0tRi
12Please respect copyright.PENANARdoIRSh8Gm
「那時候,我還是新人模特兒,剛開始走紅。接了很多廣告,也拍了人生第一本寫真集。那本是跟一位很有名的攝影師合作的,風格偏紀實、比較像是在記錄那時候的我,沒有太多妝、也沒有太多設計——只是陽光、素顏,還有一些比較生活感的場景。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAmfSgGt64QN
12Please respect copyright.PENANAp4JwAXk2h3
她頓了一下,像在回想那段時間的味道。12Please respect copyright.PENANAXlbPFFP7aT
12Please respect copyright.PENANAD7KznnzmNL
「但外界的聲音很難聽。什麼天生好命啦、靠人脈啦、會炒作啦⋯⋯說得好像我所有的努力都不是我自己的一樣。那時我也年輕,不太會反駁,只能一直拍、一直撐,讓自己撐到那些聲音沒辦法再把我抹掉。」12Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZELOkWOp9
12Please respect copyright.PENANAAatCFA0gQ4
她笑了笑,語氣帶著一點無奈,又有點溫柔:12Please respect copyright.PENANAbrLsUy7rML
12Please respect copyright.PENANAGFsqlpKiZf
「那時候啊,唯一相信我、支持我的,就是妳爸爸。他還只是個小小的攝影助理,沒什麼話語權——但每次拍照,他都特別認真幫我找角度、打光,什麼都不多說,卻用行動讓我知道,我不是一個人在對抗這個世界。」12Please respect copyright.PENANA89OH0rHpRm
12Please respect copyright.PENANA1YJjljWUIl
媽媽低頭親了親星野莉奈的髮頂,聲音低低地,像是把一個秘密輕輕放進她耳朵裡:12Please respect copyright.PENANApx2niUds2n
12Please respect copyright.PENANA5Bl8tfikK8
「所以啊,妳現在這樣難過,是很正常的。不是妳做錯了什麼,也不是妳不夠好。是這個世界,有時候就是這麼吵、這麼粗糙。」12Please respect copyright.PENANA8MQGuAd5Jy
12Please respect copyright.PENANArQ4WEQn8qR
她停頓了一下,又笑了笑,語氣變得更溫柔:12Please respect copyright.PENANAHWk6tg1lCb
12Please respect copyright.PENANA5z0GusoiR5
「我一直都知道,妳活得很自主,走路很穩,不太需要別人扶——也一直以為,給妳空間、讓妳自由,就是對妳最好的支持。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAuryvKpvI1M
12Please respect copyright.PENANAWsoxRD4JIl
媽媽輕輕收緊了擁抱,語氣像嘆息又像自問自答:12Please respect copyright.PENANAFmwzeQC1P5
12Please respect copyright.PENANATVdZ7r2kNH
「但是啊⋯⋯就算是最會走路的小孩,有時候也會想被抱一下吧。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAUG0G5PY5rz
12Please respect copyright.PENANAjfdpuOeeTy
星野莉奈緊緊咬著唇,肩膀又顫了一下。媽媽輕輕拍拍她的背,接著說:12Please respect copyright.PENANAbTAzoAlFVf
12Please respect copyright.PENANAZVagjcEHH7
「鈴也是啊。那孩子,特別有正義感。她知道妳不想被誤會、不想傷害任何人,所以她什麼都想擋在自己前面——讓妳可以專心做妳自己。」12Please respect copyright.PENANA6CRImCUQU8
12Please respect copyright.PENANAYmgw5FSVPQ
媽媽的呼吸很輕,輕到不帶任何情緒:12Please respect copyright.PENANACaLNO2JzLy
12Please respect copyright.PENANAZMe91GTzZI
「而小冴呢⋯⋯很早就決定好怎麼走他的人生了。妳不能拉住他,但妳可以在他停下來的時候,剛好在那裡⋯⋯他不是會說出『我需要妳』的那種人,但那不代表他不需要。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAkP2vLEYrFd
12Please respect copyright.PENANAwgL4HlgPvS
星野莉奈伸手輕輕抓住媽媽的衣角。媽媽溫柔而堅定地說:12Please respect copyright.PENANA3y85p9qOiM
12Please respect copyright.PENANA7o9qg6NbDa
「妳啊,真的做得很好了。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAKMyCIJtUEs
12Please respect copyright.PENANA3rCzdh60zM
媽媽低笑了一下,帶著一點調皮的寵溺:12Please respect copyright.PENANACYCPM6z2Cw
12Please respect copyright.PENANABjT5CDSv7E
「誰叫咱們家女兒眼光這麼好,偏偏喜歡上那麼獨立、又不太會說話的小傻瓜呢?」12Please respect copyright.PENANAvGYpQOtwJb
12Please respect copyright.PENANAmtewJVIzzU
她閉著眼,眼淚靜靜地,不斷滑下來。12Please respect copyright.PENANAVxNOQsHTJg
沒有聲音,也沒有顫抖。12Please respect copyright.PENANAhjfjcQ6StY
12Please respect copyright.PENANAcllRHP9nWe
只有胸口,微微一下一下地疼著。12Please respect copyright.PENANArqRd6gNGYV
12Please respect copyright.PENANAKkApw0vs9Z
她忽然想起自己曾經無數次,12Please respect copyright.PENANA87roqyFNBB
在球場邊,在便利商店,在一個又一個不經意的黃昏裡,12Please respect copyright.PENANAkQNOwViGdp
悄悄地等過那個人。12Please respect copyright.PENANAhAM3BTFxq3
12Please respect copyright.PENANALJS14o41rC
等他的訊息。12Please respect copyright.PENANA5bUsIDHVi1
等他的目光。12Please respect copyright.PENANAwO8gXr4PVG
等一個不一定會到來的回應。12Please respect copyright.PENANAVB2r0qqdgM
12Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3V2xY7EOa
不是為了要證明什麼,12Please respect copyright.PENANAHSqiHDcUe1
只是因為——12Please respect copyright.PENANAvuoYE8Mv5Q
她真的很在意他。12Please respect copyright.PENANAqwjcHGAJEE
12Please respect copyright.PENANAvUSro8cLYa
那時候,她總是告訴自己:12Please respect copyright.PENANAqNNi8ZHxqH
12Please respect copyright.PENANABwy07QUbaw
「沒關係的,我可以等。」12Please respect copyright.PENANAMQMsOidc9r
12Please respect copyright.PENANAcNQCgMXHL5
直到今天,她才第一次承認,12Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7GQ19pH7m
原來那些輕描淡寫的等,12Please respect copyright.PENANAFgI6lz09Mj
從來都不是輕的。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuSL0JF6blO
12Please respect copyright.PENANAj5u5EFnsEW
媽媽的手掌還在輕輕地拍著她的背。沒有催促,也沒有要求她快點振作。12Please respect copyright.PENANA6iHt7OVpQE
只是一遍又一遍,溫柔地拍著她的背。12Please respect copyright.PENANAbjfKxkq90Q
12Please respect copyright.PENANA26FBU0bsKf
外面的風聲輕輕吹過,屋子裡只剩下心跳的聲音,和媽媽溫暖而堅定的擁抱。
ns216.73.216.41da2