I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHBiTYZxJJ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBL3XDMm5s
I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42TUf6ZjlO
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As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3fLCDGVT8
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“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHNV16SYqA
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“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wRkVcqEgy
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“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1OUhOCu0l
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“Got dirty clothes?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGERenUgH1P
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“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMcrubSGNz
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“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTurW7RRfR1
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“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVuSVrLRQp
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60Y9BOCOM9
After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1b6GNEXkW
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUM9pp5PDtL
I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEcYw3SUbq
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“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqq0DHD59ni
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“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTa2EI1VNYI
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“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrfQn1ByzQ
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“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiw3AHyIk2
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdr2h5vhH6d
“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOHW22IIAV
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmlXaWr1V0
“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iFYKWulxm
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“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBEK3DU9A5
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“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCez01jhTLP
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Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WKhtC8wPD
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2SHgznZof
He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2zTDKv47L
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFl8S3DYHpb
About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSmuMMdfNq
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfyeFN8qs7
I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7mDY9Hxxm
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“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyPzYth5fa
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK545AAJKD
“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5YYk6kPxV
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“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKwZQmvu7A
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“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcWWpjaou1
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrtWUcsD9M
“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKSXNvvngT
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspcykHPeaI
“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVhtxjjlv5
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pUVsqu1qv
“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGZM9cHigD
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycY3y1oPYZ
“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxO1jSzDGG
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdkbaYMzRG
“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sLiO04V19
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GCPl1VUz3
“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwGXQcOaqr
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFkjwwX8f9
“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9v7aTPpbSB
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2yakSByqu
“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8nvsQ6KES
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaq1eVKjEWS
“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj28jxFh0tl
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“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplSBJB3RTY
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BkUZBJmxt
Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP023lHoZHL
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7Cps1khWK
My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAiT8PyfDs
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Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXInUOutN8
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“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaxXcCKMJB
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“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCb9qGo1na
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1p7CzpRwFF
“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZUwEkfYeZ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlEEA2SLoS
“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh0GVjzp0M
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB515Iy8sAr
He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sdbrCSO1u
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGYi9Dfm7C
I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupc1uhsdz8
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGP5amZLse
“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUQekApE5d
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“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqByU0wUFc8
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“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiUIEM0RPF
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“Why not?” Max frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzmyD261H4
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“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybuHWHqvwS
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“I wanna know too,” he blinked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDK6bWOCV8
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“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIZMUsRIrt
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqoc8ZYFXR
The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFDDVsHREs
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I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6euktE0z5
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL7tD86rmp
It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4PxT8thxv
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I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzid4Uev0Sl
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There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6aE91cxSf
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptDYpTtn7y
He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYtHRxVtlP
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyg7oTs7yBZ
But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpqeuOy93Y
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoQMZ3UyBT
Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUCB0shiCZ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwOOd0U4JG
Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtGoO6wb8y
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlf22kneID
After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI0pUBjfW6
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2VcOBO4Ia
“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzPPUiRmmn
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlew0ZyoPn
“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgW56cS4jNz
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“Yes,” I lied automatically.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGcNg1db7a
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“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxDDlzY5F6
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“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzDmGvAG8G
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADeEUAxnbE
“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ff4dzO3Gi
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBctFFySbu
He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVqf9Y4wUb
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1c7Fivuur2
I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBLahC4TIk
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7lh0YzRyS
“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDqMGjs18k
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“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTylv6UdGWg
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWOEwf2fz1
“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DZ1J8CosB
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtyuKeQ3VF
I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ArdN5zFHF
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8JeWKaOMT
When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRkJakMGlO
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“Are you okay?” he asked softly.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MAFfqM3hJ
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“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarptUdLiWw
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“I’m better too,” he smiled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjIU3FsgCM
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“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pba4JdpAu
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“No.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzktRvJ2yQd
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspgfh79gYF
“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnfmotdla5
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“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4wGDUpzfs
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“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToNRROtR45
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“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevfwyHzIYN
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“Do what?” I blinked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIt9MIT5FI
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“Be so strong.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3A9idiVErl
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“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GJi7p2yNT
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“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuErpNvNRC7
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“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIUGhHT3th
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“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3sjfRHgQ8
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“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4RbxEaN7o
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“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT3m7tvVsp
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“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSazk1hmnS7
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I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFqljrde8J
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“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOoK3v57k2
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But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALluIAKYe9
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“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡON3nYir5H8
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“Where?” I asked breathlessly.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWk2uEkPxp
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“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWJn3xdGZD
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The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruWM1RQG6C
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At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HzoWbYD8a
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Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMYQVIPeI3
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I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvKWxeqyf4
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“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2xdpJTwbR
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“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBddTCTfviX
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“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRi6OhkcIz4
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“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivoySA6LmB
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“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3ZTg4FbeB
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“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfNp5MryrI
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“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyLyhXLx8o
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“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb0KLj0Xqg
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“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNA8tj70JL
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“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwrsQFCy8B
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“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJBQT6CPBs
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“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoihAChnqm
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“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIq8jhBqxc
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“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqhU4GXfO7
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“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3bmUXPDkm
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“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlYQ6eRoeC
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“I’ll try,” I mumbled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttXk4bXPv0
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The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0gCly9hiu
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I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt09u539w7c
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“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6p9bCAMcN
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“Hi,” I breathed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC98NGm661R
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“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XIlbzBKSN
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8Sr0GoxHF
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“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx8IwIiyml
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And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMGyMNQFZy
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“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUrsTWWNRB
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“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnngHk4X67u
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“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpQKNDdS6b
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“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd5ph5DP2v
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“It happened again?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNH5qc767m
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“Yes,” I breathed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3myDOjLiZ
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“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1W7NU6AIx
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This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIl7sWbwzGU
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“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHdAr2NYv2
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“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8w3yVLLgx
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“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksGKpv30B2
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“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6uQ1nRYmW
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“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhIfJANflp
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“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iN2ZLOGB3
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“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHzxQ8zM70
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“Alex, what are you talking about?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskSPLeDg9M
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“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlIpa7LsXy
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“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5qTECaeON
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“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfMciBNU5C
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“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQktmtUIO9w
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“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUbOho1BOy
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I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbd5Hgdzr2x
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePxG4n6hkB
Conjure One - Tears From the Moon422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4g5LhK4zN
