同學們面面相覷。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2nvgMkyVq
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhZb9pAVrG
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「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzuvMMJsx6
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWCfYmWhUe

「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl1f35kpX9
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRFUaZKGrD

「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSUXVhmHOZ
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「那改成老不羞好了。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5XERTI8ix
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「更糟糕了啊！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3I01LgafzE
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUh1T9ARB4

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3graMpO3uH
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2AzSKlhZF

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fqcRg5oKR
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVJgA0g8p3

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpX9YBP05X
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqw8bJwwxiz

「老師，它正在暖身。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLRaCwy9Ez
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpLEzLGYZy

「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZmKaUT4WU
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjnWlO1oWH

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc19YQKW64E
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUhrCZU26d

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflMlpYQ9B9
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ItrsDjkj5

「那我改姓三岐。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuEj7fDHaF
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「才不是這個意思！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzSdmCXQJl
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8IzMyiYaX

「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTw0juLrJS3
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oWsKMycdQ

「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNmGkUCtlT
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7Uv7Z1KWH

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUG2BHtF5hQ
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「元帥好弱。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Sxakqlcyf
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「你根本是想殺了我吧！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hQeSu5g6l
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9lR9Z6r0o

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AOqtyrVjd
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvrBCqp2OJ

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfL7F8dUrpY
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCBRGal0y0

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmyBBHhIsk
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6NIrxVkvR
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「老師！別中計啊！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWugwIP20V
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SS07dzQR0

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkhwkCBILZ
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL59oxc4Rn

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLEfetNzLx
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAnCp1azr4

    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO5u9mfjNG
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCDutGtSlg

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8H0kSbKRpg
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfo9uNr6fSX

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBwMZOG8VF
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkk8g9o67Ji

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUrJJs3G14
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxGm7HzCnQ

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ND6H0za2f
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDowcoF8d7V

「什──」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7YdGCYc6g
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「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRlPT6ERzU
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRukee15JzV

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IlYQmBhkV
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGOVe7OvFT

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0znG7AGkX
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbi8AvsJz1

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLsCvs1p0V
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    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGDj9rRBzI
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjJtWhxQKT

「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZLnI3MCd1
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiufGQRY9EI

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYz7pSGk9AD
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaWXl7VV5U

    賴妍歪頭。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkEpG0j9D5
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoeGSi02Hb

「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTGunFdGkT
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsrCb2UZdB

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZIYdXqm0n
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72JFdvLwEt

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1FEU4CLDB
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAYYFxHnIv

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7tL9QNS0o
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tmzkW8F3P

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpFXsC4X8k
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8vFazRRKd

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PbczVQ37U
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxugS27WvWb

「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJPFgc4OfT
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「一加一等於二。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqasu6QJ5E1
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「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0dE7X3LbG
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「……咦？」老師愣住了。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV53d6TSBtF
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhetRDgnwg

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQifMD2Uwp
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeUt76ESuS

「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5WyyTuHPF
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfOSoUPkdZ

「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaTQWpStxb
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmCzMqD50c

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nF3QL32Aw
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    完蛋了。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXCQnMSdWp
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「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQqxOYPCvP
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyM0pmOmtG

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgkWYMiHVe
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyskfOZfDgd

「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy2LZuRcMa
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SnZUYyilC

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3LVXjI0kF
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9SDbEZi3q

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtviXvWMjeh
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsP9MyZTYa

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRAZltMywy
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuvTU7FnkI

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO9puHSoJi
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36D0CjBCBT

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCJf5FK1MZ
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZz3iBwJc3D

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95tJSIUdfi
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5yviWn3D0

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8Sv1IjIgX
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNw43aA19B

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDu3u2Rb9FW
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Fni1hhNs0

  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYX2hSQgVg

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmMq6QzZOV
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpwtKf2dLe

「同學！一加一等於多少！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTmIDrY8pY
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexfMI2YHWy

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHFS4h20U7
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNeEMlJczo

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNaiuKlrLA
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0ordHJYTE

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSQzrvCBfi
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIk9nlpXQw

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd2BLVWckm
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LetwfLv3j

「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLhH1lgrIt
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIfg3mmjcS

    全班盯著三岐。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRMK9jYwPs
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAyoa8TSJ4

「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡato27Zh0W0
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx2egHY1yu

    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5f5k05uzj2
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d5UGqqC6v

「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzySOwAO99d
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7CSjQNMBL

「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6z6bdo7G0i
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當日結果：254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYUf0yVPZD
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYiNh1dnMb

    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEZWpnkJTB
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNOZvvslU4

    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEHSIVtwyc
254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH4LSKd6Tq

    柳困依然單身。254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbU8s8zUILm