I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYh7t3XV2jo
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I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLc7fSsIGM
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As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2fM2I2VfW
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“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2LoaeQ7GV
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“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aQMekRZXM
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“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJfktC5PLN
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“Got dirty clothes?”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgH3AsHRaL
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“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgTi1o26XF
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“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkhqNCSOyW
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“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gbP7uJFSv
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After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK61Ty9bN1J
421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HCcUxiZfh
I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNuGjubYAo
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“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eAvUm3zyV
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“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatAD3gPMPe
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“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRBC56t9kb
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“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdE0JNirCTg
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“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOwOk1LXIo
421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhjuXzqS9J
“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tF7IQFszj
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“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPjC01hYEr
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“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlsVYEkgfs
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Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq5GxNzdIF
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He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzkpuSwFyc
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About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQousLoqCst
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I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxag3ldzn0Z
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“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEDxGEHHAv
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“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8DXhxD4df
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“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3FqWOWtCN
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“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0leghSCyid
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“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24vTqW5azh
421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzv8rL1BuV
“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrsdLHpNef
421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBDma1pNIZ
“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCGU2vRIr7
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“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06dCFoqF6Q
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“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm2GKDundX
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“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRr3nCycxX
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“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Fu5r8FBbk
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“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WPHhuZ7hL
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“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiOcKKpSR6
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“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxj09ZJVTSz
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Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolkyWUNpZN
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My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvvsF0cTQ5
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Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQECAK9y1v
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“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95uy681IIM
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“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8Vc5Qj1sP
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“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDCRGPJJWO
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“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59HvTpcOvU
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He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgKLer3o6t
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I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwsb14jMxt
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“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FAl7RPbF0
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“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrySj9A6ig
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“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnQWT9vHCd
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“Why not?” Max frowned.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFom0NXwgkW
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“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAUvMMveEA
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“I wanna know too,” he blinked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0RWRmNA4H
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“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSekruGNSeI
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The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBQJ8alunl
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I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aj05ktrES
421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFS8xMvvU1U
It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOtXXfT71f
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I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58BVB52QeF
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There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbqmZ0ZD7T
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He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT2AzYETs4
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But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJVEIikJYU
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Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Pp8OHphMH
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Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlU4WSPHHc
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After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdwQhXCCNm
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“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBqemwhR1o
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“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuS4khCUrx
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“Yes,” I lied automatically.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYsD9WXClw
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“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPF7YdWI1jt
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“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjUlCSk9JZ
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“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJjRWykJKa
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He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzjj8NEwsj
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I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrSwk9gjeu
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“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzubNoIt26
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“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjb4pwOXLQ
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“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrffgGHtnM
421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmI39vRvBQ
I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vl1Nrdpu7
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When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW9mBi6v1N
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“Are you okay?” he asked softly.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmlkp2WOz3
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“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2wddilrip
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“I’m better too,” he smiled.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluydYf62XQ
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“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkVlRNBln3
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“No.”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteLL7EsRWV
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“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvZs1z2mrV
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“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSc2hl1iPx
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“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQsUi5V1XO
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“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YS4pZcgJJ
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“Do what?” I blinked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4GQZKrqQn
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“Be so strong.”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEExxnOVfPm
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“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1zRZcUk4y
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“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zPLcKwDEg
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“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSFqQZGIyt
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“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0v5d1NVTZ
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“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33vzu2N7bt
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“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQAnGjo2Cx
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“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFnkbI7dWH
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I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZKKQi1933
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“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZbeGwQgM4
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But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraUVsEvJ8W
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“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMguCazvh6Z
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“Where?” I asked breathlessly.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FBpvMx2t7
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“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTBHcdYmlR
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The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCSG3vG4Cv
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At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUoOP0GJtu
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Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7EUEdN6ZK
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I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirq6Lw4PvZ
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“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyk94AknCp
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“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vw3gjYOla
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“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao2YvrnxE1
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“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyqVVsQico
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“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAI3N31wWH
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“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFxy75Kdar
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“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWA7CuFfQTY
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“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3XYtlIKDS
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“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D3zXtbtlc
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“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy8WGVFVM1
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“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZCPuTDjXS
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“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdkltC4Ts7
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“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiapQMHccK8
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“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvitmlHHUD1
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“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3Sacin7Fj
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“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkakcbVsSRb
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“I’ll try,” I mumbled.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlocqJBnYEj
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The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESJSQKwUph
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I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTFYE8nMO4
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“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy8Ks4d66l
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“Hi,” I breathed.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPLG9oQjfL
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“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8nxBgOaiC
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EPTVt8emU
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“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzvP0RBkmv
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And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjMChYRa99
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“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMM7AorO1ch
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“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVDY6Gsjdk
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“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TVn76jOBO
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“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjffatKvyG
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“It happened again?”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hYJzvzC6W
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“Yes,” I breathed.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0xivNKQvU
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“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp1uqOdm90
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This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TqXPhxo6M
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“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyS26Cl484
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“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy96A1RNsD
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“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUYIUMU7rP
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“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBj11qXdWV3
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“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27uyRHoEOY
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“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gvoGs5sXB
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“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCi2LJMYfBV
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“Alex, what are you talking about?”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY78Ujhuiwx
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“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59i5luSfJt
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“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0nzfm6P56
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“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qpzWYex8T
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“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aHRehoE9M
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“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC61vEwQhEt
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I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAo44kgEniC
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYWh0itlss
Conjure One - Tears From the Moon421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJA9WPSM7VB
