x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ebDoQZsDO
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSdIuLDi2W
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sEGsGAP0R
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlzm3XtMJL
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmnGuPmxLR
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZJYRlAZmV
Really talking.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY5H0AFHGa
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKA4DmdPh8
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lXS1MgiC5
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEVBhJYzoR
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FL2Yy0fUG
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8E6RzomptV
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaOsB3B4Bb
Or162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEchjHMcWk
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8sNpL6BJs
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicpHcAlBkr
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGSh99lGLy
I typed.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4W5y6ER3V
Deleted.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEVwiIo5rX
Typed again.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxnyH0mlic
Deleted.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyZ7yqmA0I
Typed again.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCUpZEqOWS
Deleted.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlvADDSYvG
Typed again.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91JShxpG22
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAe8nVm1Gom
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgx4xaNcloB
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CGehTQXhx
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBwn6Ge48A
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQdrB4iUIn
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Gy5cJiXJK
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9StHpYFNr0
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOZoZTzT5N
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iQ8azRFan
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAzv0RK58S
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2iz7l96LG
“I love pizza.”162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUiaOJrYbh
“I love that show.”162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSsmfBPdRf
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB68m1nK1pK
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD1ZwCNopj
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy425QUlcn4
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQP4b2ljjO
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoJ32zAs4F
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQhy53ULCR
Maybe love is giving without expecting.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnc8d3MD0Gh
Hoping without demanding.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrWWfgbg7L
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOcltWQEw5
then what does that make me?
A gambler?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfWLS7E0VG
A poet with no ink?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq9wy6tlt3
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4geRFsEnZV
It doesn’t ask for returns.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡod1ZcAg0wv
It just… is.
Like the moon.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaKQ4BFzR7
Distant. Cold sometimes.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTcYPxDn1y
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ss5SvZMpf
One that felt like surrender.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PVL64RPUW
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8ghBSkKU1
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXn98OFF0e
Not because I wanted to.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39QsrmbLXz
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7IjxGwY7x
let the poet in me die trying,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLCUjAvfOl
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6CtAxsClT
time won't change the answer,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6KZPoI8o5
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsOEVlrVnG
I want her to smile when she sees my name.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlcONQtWXr
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDDtk8v7nI
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiile6qzbQa
But I can be someone good.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67IDhiOkrc
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2awDfnldgG
"Sure, of course."162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc58GmpmLe
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTWZZcfRqw
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4AfeseW61
but it still matters.
The night grew older.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPjU4fMH9Y
The conversation faded into a simple:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKHf2dGNd3
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlfodHSRnj
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHXTSCEY4S
Ceiling fan humming.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxXSJy9fsO
Eyes open.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBRQGb99pA
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85dCF7c7aA
The silence turned into a lullaby.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEbKdM3f0K
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGlDEF5FpP
not even of love,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGO8JEsH9E1
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI5GZfSKu7
No moon. No wind.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06CfHDj7Os
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuw4Q51QHv
“Do you think love makes you whole?162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXc684Odf6y
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNN9XATioxo
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspcchzj4yd
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR52BbivsGK
A reason.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUO92LQtdV
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcStRz8UQqy
a feeling.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQGL5M8Hw5
A choice.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DZEDHCBux
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2yc30JAaK
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRetnmtm4j
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlO41UPMm4
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3a0kwKSkyX
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNRRRsS5Gf
peace.
