"Ms. Montgomery, will you stay back for a moment?" My English teacher calls out as I'm halfway to the door.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8FjcSbVdF
The most annoying part about a teacher telling you to stay after class is their complete disregard for the very little time students have between classes. Each moment we get out of a desk is cherished, treated as though it's the best part of our day besides lunch and the final school's bell. To keep us any longer than scheduled shouldn't ever be a thing.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlPOabJnlp
Maybe Mrs. Thompson is the first to notice me, my unhealthiness. After all this time, she could be the one to finally address being high at school. That might give me hope, hope that I won't have to make the choice of getting better for myself. If my teachers see it, the counselors will be told and then my parents will be called. I know that doesn't sound ideal to most, but I for as long as I can remember, I've been begging for this exact series of events to happen.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjSLy3BY0W
She didn't notice me though.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9T2AVAK8k
"I wanted to talk to you about your essay; the short story you wrote." Mrs. Thompson tells me, sitting behind her desk with that warm, nurturing smile she always wears.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxDJQcQiOD
She holds the three pieces of paper, stapled together in the corner, in her hands. She holds it delicately, as if being extra careful not to crease it.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Y8sfhA9ZB
"You've never gotten less than an A on a paper you've wrote in my class, Lilliana." She tells me. "But compared to all your others, this one really stood out to me. I couldn't give you any less than a perfect grade."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoH91amnuw
The papers transfer from her hands to mine. Looking down at the paper, in thin red ink, written in large letters in the corner is a '100%'. She drew a cheesy smiley face underneath the grade.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncVNBefpjc
Seeing it, I don't feel prideful like I used to when presented something like this. I remember wearing the largest smile after getting a grade back, in any class. At one point, I anticipated them, spending extra hours to achieve them. I haven't strived for one for a long while.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtBhOex7vR
School always came as second nature to me. I pick things up quickly; rather it's numbers, literature, or historical events, I learn it without much effort put into studying.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtQReB1aCc
The past year, I put down the books and picked up pills...and I still have yet to make my grades budge.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIzkVG1EOe
"You truly excel in creative writing." Mrs. Thompson adds. "Have you thought about doing it as a career, Lilliana?" She uses a hand to motion to the paper. "I mean, it's impressive."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfdzdXR8Nm
Typically, when someone compliments me on anything other than my looks, my instincts is to call them a liar. But I know writing is my strong suit. Creating an entire world unlike your own is a high within itself. Putting myself in an alternate reality is the ultimate form of therapy.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAR28FSD61
As a career? No.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzloI8a7Fq
College, for me, was thrown out the window around the same time I started using drugs as a blanket for my emotions. I don't plan on being here long enough to endure another long handful of years of schooling. Why do that when I won't be alive to actually use my degree?
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡburhNHdaG8
"I don't plan on going to college." I blurt out.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRlb7cMBpr
My answer catches her off guard, giving a brief look of surprise before straightening her face.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZxtCD237S
Mrs. Thompson's eyes brighten as she gets an idea. "You don't have to go to college to be a writer, Lilliana. It depends on what you want to do with it. Do you write at home?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5087TuAfWW
I give a disinterested shrug, as if to say 'a little bit.'
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdDE8JNL86
"What do you write?" She asks, leaning forward on her desk a bit, eager for my response.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9Jw39HqH3
I suppress the urge to groan and tell her to shut up. Instead I answer with, "Stories."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZ7nRuw5Ee
She holds an excited hand up. "You could publish those! Be an author! That's a career!"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVDeXCwxze
"I'm really not interested in making a career out of anything, Mrs. Thompson." I say uncomfortably. "I've put a lot of thought into it and I just want to get a job when I graduate...go from there."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIxP0KFXA9
She gives a light laugh. "Well that's not much of a plan, Lilliana. You're far too smart to let all your talents go to waste. I hope you don't take that the wrong way."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRxdgyLjnU
The lady doesn't understand me. Pressure makes me run and right now, I just want out of this conversation.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBiEfVMChK
"I should really get to my next class, Mrs. Thompson. Thank you for the grade though." I wave my papers awkwardly.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYd4QMhmGF8
She glances at the clock before giving a soft smile. "Of course. But I'd like to talk about this more with you."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGFnN6LTON
Having zero interest in continuing this conversation at any point, I nod with a fake smile, starting for the door with hurried steps.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbjbTJWO4c
—————————-
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tJbLEeJYU
"I'm suffocating, Maverick! Every fucking day!" My tears threaten to fall but I don't let them, instead I let it out in the form of anger. "And this bitch has the audacity to tell me I'm wasting all my talents?!" I cross my arms over my chest, pacing the pavement of the empty parking lot we're in. "Every breath I take is a fucking waste."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHu7YYPY9B
I roll my eyes, shaking my head to myself. "I want to die. What am I gonna do, Mrs. Thompson? Write a fucking book and then kill myself?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylgzOvXPfh
"You know..." Maverick finally speaks up after hearing me rant for a good five minutes.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99VK64Nwbo
Turning to look at him, he's rested back against the hood of the car, flicking the ash off the end of the blunt.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqkrbqgAwz
"That's not a bad idea." He says. "Not the killing yourself part." He clarifies. "You should publish a heavy hitter before you die."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraZjp6qaDu
I groan. "You don't get it either. Never mind."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMtKVM38O9
"To deeply know you is a privilege...and I learned you long ago." He tells me. "Most people won't be able to wrap their mind around yours...ours are extremely similar, Lilliana. You know as well as I do that I get it...so don't act like I don't because you're angry right now."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfQ6Y0tGmr
He pauses.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TXEke12fP
"You've been aware since the start that just because I understand you, doesn't mean I agree with you killing yourself."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5lyDFvHqm
"But you think I'm wasting my talents too, don't you?" I ask, approaching him to take the blunt he's offering.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCXQBiE5bh
Maverick shakes his head. "I wouldn't say you're wasting them. I do think you need to find at least one thing you have a passion for and do it. It can be anything, Lilliana. It doesn't have to be something any teacher or parent suggests, doesn't have to be traditional. Just one thing you want to do before you die."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVaMO9p8F4
"Like what?" I ask through a breath of smoke. "What's your one thing?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6bBKtmwWt
His eye contact is odd, which makes me realize this is the first time I've ever been uncomfortable under Maverick's stare.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmV5vYMMBW
I can visibly see the wheels turning in his head but I have no idea what it could be about. He seems almost tempted in a way that confuses me.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiet9HBedOS
His shift in demeanor makes the atmosphere around us darken, thicken.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aUMbFYzoF
All of a sudden, Maverick comes back to reality, that relaxed, expressionless face back. "I haven't found it yet either." He then reaches an arm out, taking the blunt from me. "Stop hogging it."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqRBITlbBZ
"You smoked like half of it by yourself!"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCwLOalgdy
"You wouldn't stop talking." He states with lungs full of smoke before exhaling. "And if you're smoking for free, you're definitely not wasting my weed."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWr5YbU0Cvh
I can't help my laugh. "Do you even sell close to the amount you smoke?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCG6ExuAttz
"My money." He flashes that award winning smile that he uses to get on my nerves. "My business."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIXsiemLNA
"It's practically my money too. You spend enough on me." I tell him smugly.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk89SWq5bkJ
He lets out a puff of breath. "I spend more on you than I do myself. You do realize that you've never paid for yourself, right? Any and everything you have and get is from someone else?" His amused expression doesn't match his disapproving tone. "Easy with the attitude, Lilliana. I could cut you off whenever I want."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCqSRpwvek
"There's always someone else, Maverick."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD026ldpJbj
His eyes squint but his grin remains. "Is that why you've kept me around; To use me?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlxJkR6boR
I laugh, nudging his arm playfully. "Oh don't get all sad boy on me now."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm4VItBqaU
"Yes...well, at least you know I'm only using you for friendship and not anything else."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmrRxTGc4r
"I can't tell if that was an insult or a compliment."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8snDjfIY4
"A bit of both."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2uO05rO38
"Ha. Ha."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6F9WrIMIg
I start for my own car that's parked right beside his. "Let's go get some food."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY1cVQG5Un
"You mean, I go get some food and you wait comfortably on your bed?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWA3q0QJ9b
I smile at him from over the roof as he pushes off the hood of his own car. "How did you know?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXVCTrt1ui
Maverick has his back to me, shaking his head as he opens his door. "What do you want?"
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7fjJpuOIN
"I'm not really feeling anything in particular." My left shoulder gives one short shrug. "Surprise me."
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6jrO9fNIy
"Of course." He says with a sarcastic smile over his shoulder at me before getting in and closing the door without another glance my way.
ns3.142.54.53da2
