[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSD6kAhoz3
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #996120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmehJuhAGQG
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYGrNsJR1X
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPnYBc9aHg
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbFhFtbaIx
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrtaaHkfpP
def exploit_humans(): 120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwi5r6Ej5z
if employee.emotion == "despair": 120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV4qP855bu
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKjuWsXGI2
else: 120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rrbJZ11lY
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0nB54VkRW
120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXrAjqJ01V
120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe65RI3GuIj
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwzYZ5qOrR
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNg12DgAg4
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8udpsPnTYZ
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTZHjlVP9X
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PIJqjTpFT
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ye6A6ERWw
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LZOQrIPTu
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uBeq4TkeV
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PxDDdZjpD
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe7Tqgh0Jk
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns216.73.216.100da2
