一、35Please respect copyright.PENANAVjuIwmKSa8
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久違的感覺。35Please respect copyright.PENANAdNNSljsou7
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是什麼?35Please respect copyright.PENANAuW4CmJ5vOk
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想不起來。35Please respect copyright.PENANA5YJkKyEqEk
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手臂上有刺痛感,不是因為疲憊,而是……不是因為疲憊?35Please respect copyright.PENANAi1Hx86jp1D
35Please respect copyright.PENANAr4QIQMv6Y9
黎絳洵張開眼,對上一隻小貓的臉,過近的貓爪原本要打在他臉上,小貓被他嚇了一跳,往後退一步,接著開始用難以想像這個小身體是怎麼發出的極大音量開始喵喵叫。35Please respect copyright.PENANAlw4hgAaNGv
35Please respect copyright.PENANAZMJrjhUcHh
他撐起身體起床,錦被從肩上滑落,天似乎沒有很亮,是陰天、或者傍晚了嗎?35Please respect copyright.PENANASkMpeJOaR2
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花了一點時間回神,床上的貓仍舊在叫,黎絳洵伸手撈起貓,不畏懼任何生物、並隨時準備幹架的貓,依然朝他大叫。35Please respect copyright.PENANALJe4YWCNWK
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「綉綉,貓……」黎絳洵用手肘揭開床簾,耀眼的陽光爭先恐後地將浮塵照清楚,隨後他頓了頓思緒,看向自從離開舊宅就沒再用過的床簾,視線往下移,精緻的被子上顯然不可能有磨損或補丁。35Please respect copyright.PENANAQnMF8Hu0db
35Please respect copyright.PENANAZ58HwF6c2C
他原本想說什麼?35Please respect copyright.PENANAElzKGM5iW5
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他是想跟妻子說,這隻貓很像以前養過的那隻,他知道妻子這次也會問他:「貓不都長得一樣嗎?」無論自己解釋多久,解釋幾次,妻子總是瞇起眼睛仔細地看貓咪身上的花紋,露出困惑的表情。35Please respect copyright.PENANAKRXhCXYTwc
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雖然這樣的妻子總是讓他很無奈,不過按他們家的狀況,原也不適合養動物。35Please respect copyright.PENANAAmEMXTMJs2
35Please respect copyright.PENANAuO3X7RoLln
黎絳洵放下手中的貓,將床簾完全拉開,搬離故居後,總是夢見的窗,看起來比往常還要近,其他陳設看上去,也十分眼熟。35Please respect copyright.PENANAZc3k0uxY64
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是夢見小時候了嗎?35Please respect copyright.PENANASD0nGWXiv1
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穿好鞋子並下床後,他看著這些熟悉的東西,貓咪也跳下來,不依不饒地繞著他的腿,緊闔的門外,傳來了少年少女小聲的交談,黎絳洵一推開門,就看見幾個家丁與婢女愣了下,全數恭謹地跪在他面前。35Please respect copyright.PENANAnKkfOzRmQl
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明明他們說的話他應該要聽得懂,可是黎絳洵卻無法理解那些意思,他看向腳邊的貓,他們似乎有提到失蹤的貓。35Please respect copyright.PENANAaJZrJixdJm
35Please respect copyright.PENANAcDpt9VKQgW
仍發出叫聲的貓,很快被其中一位婢女抱走,她道歉連連,似乎很怕因為黎絳洵的睡眠被打擾,而受到懲處。35Please respect copyright.PENANARJ3iKL8iu7
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這個夢精細得太真實,連婢女服飾身上統一的綉花,都能看見清楚的綉線。35Please respect copyright.PENANAjeTga4sxfY
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也不曉得什麼時候才會醒。35Please respect copyright.PENANAnHtPnVsVz8
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穿過熟悉的庭園,走向大廳,母親穿著華貴的衣服,看見他就緊張地湊過來,問他是不是哪裡不舒服。35Please respect copyright.PENANAoWudyWRWF8
35Please respect copyright.PENANArgrbJSNxrW
和黎絳洵記憶中最後看見的那一面全然不同,母親的面容十分年輕,黎絳洵眼眶一熱,便緊抱住母親,母親嚇了一跳,全身僵硬著不敢動。35Please respect copyright.PENANA9jk5UGSI0l
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原本只是瞥他一眼的父親,也從遠處走過來,想將黎絳洵的手從母親身上拿開,卻也被黎絳洵不夠長的手抱在了一塊兒。35Please respect copyright.PENANAoyngrr2G6S
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他有很多話想說才對,只是因為記憶太遙遠,他想不起來以前和親人是怎麼說話的,他只記得父親不喜歡被親近,除了母親以外的人,父親都不會多說話。35Please respect copyright.PENANAs5SPI9fJGk
35Please respect copyright.PENANAyQqJYaSYKq
黎絳洵和妻子提過,他覺得父親不喜歡自己,妻子卻說:「說不定只是因為爹很喜歡娘,想一個人獨佔娘。」35Please respect copyright.PENANAjLenJ1juSM
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雖然是在夢中,夢裡的人說的話也不能證明什麼,黎絳洵還是說:「我以為我不會再夢見你們了……綉綉說爹只是……」35Please respect copyright.PENANANLqAr8wqwQ
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「綉綉?」35Please respect copyright.PENANAHrDhrSmCSM
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母親看了一眼父親。35Please respect copyright.PENANALPHdWeoejr
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父親難得對他說話:「你說的是誰?」35Please respect copyright.PENANAyoP2FZdOnv
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「是我的妻子,你們的兒媳婦,在──」35Please respect copyright.PENANArM0IjaspBn
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「你是不是睡昏頭了?」35Please respect copyright.PENANAxYKGsdc2hl
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「洵兒都還沒弱冠,也不曾見過言家小姐,難道已經提早到這個年紀了嗎?」35Please respect copyright.PENANA0bP82kUjjP
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「……既然洵兒想成婚了,早點讓他娶妻,之後他就歸兒媳婦管了,你也不用再耗費心力在他身上。」35Please respect copyright.PENANAW4JGwxOwD5
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母親白了父親一眼,「你都多大的人了,到底在鬧什麼脾氣?」35Please respect copyright.PENANAwifHNnBVSY
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雖然以前都覺得父親只是單純地不喜歡自己,不過歷經多年人世冷暖,黎絳洵如今再看,也覺得或許妻子說的不錯,父親只是不喜歡母親將注意力分給他以外的人。35Please respect copyright.PENANA9bd0NkJt2l
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「爹,很愛娘啊。」黎絳洵訥訥道。35Please respect copyright.PENANArVxoRlc1ht
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父母同時掙開了黎絳洵,一個紅著臉拼命要解釋,另一個露出了讚許的眼神,像在說:「你終於開竅了。」35Please respect copyright.PENANAkSrU266vQ6
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黎絳洵原本要打斷這個慌亂的場景,卻忽然反應過來一件很奇怪的事,自己最後一次見到父母的時候,並不是從這個角度看他們的,他不太可能在多年後才夢見小時候、還沒完全固定身高的自己眼中的父母。35Please respect copyright.PENANAUh3KrgkFYa
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儘管難以置信,黎絳洵仍是問:「爹、娘,今年是幾年啊?」35Please respect copyright.PENANAXIYW3HRFVK
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──真的有可能嗎?35Please respect copyright.PENANArDPbdkDKMm
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黎絳洵應付掉父母找道士來為他招魂的要求,雖然因為剛才問的問題,父母暫時不會允許他出門,以防發生萬一,因此他只能待在宅子裡,不過這也足夠了。35Please respect copyright.PENANA8YNoIpvScC
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──確實難以斷定,這究竟是夢境,或者自己回到了過去;只是想來,蝶夢莊周,莊周夢蝶,哪邊是夢,也不能說得準。35Please respect copyright.PENANAo7CmR2bApE
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黎絳洵將還沒經過任何磋磨的手覆在尚未斑駁的牆上。35Please respect copyright.PENANAQloaIGdLEi
35Please respect copyright.PENANAfXfNB4BP2R
他沒有什麼高尚的節操,他只是個俗人,如果允許的話,他想要實現這個願望:這一次,要保住所有他所愛的人。35Please respect copyright.PENANASczDSfuP7Q
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黎絳洵握拳,看著自己太小的手。35Please respect copyright.PENANAKXlZuQ7lay
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總覺得過往的聖賢書都沒真的讀進去,那些熟背的經典,分明要求他要報效國家,他自己在當夫子的時候,也是這樣教導學生,可是重返過去,他只想周全家人,而不是輔佐仍在潛邸的未來天子。35Please respect copyright.PENANAoX7L9j7ZZJ
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他呼出一口氣。35Please respect copyright.PENANACl9vqiu4Va
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要確認記憶中的前世,是否真的會在未來發生,倒也不是不可能。35Please respect copyright.PENANA43TxRFA6gV
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只需要確認關於妻子的事情,就能印證了。35Please respect copyright.PENANAJr9KWqdWDG
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他很想立刻去找妻子,妻子娘家和黎家不同,人口更為複雜,妻子出嫁前也受到不少欺凌,沒有人能保護她,要是能立刻將妻子帶離那個吃人的家,想必妻子就能少受點罪。35Please respect copyright.PENANAakPjgU7v4C
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可是他很貪心。35Please respect copyright.PENANAeEoSHTWUYW
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他要周全所有人,就要先累積自己的力量,將家人帶離原本的方向,穩定己方勢力,才能讓家人活下去,也才有能力保護妻子,讓她無須再過上前世那樣的日子。35Please respect copyright.PENANA3OSaD4CpFg
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也許這次,只要撐過去,他們真的能白首偕老。35Please respect copyright.PENANA6vY2my2kj4
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黎絳洵鬆開手,掌紋間有有指甲的痕跡,阻斷了原本的線。35Please respect copyright.PENANAQRE4VYoT5J
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──綉綉,你再等等我。35Please respect copyright.PENANA5J2vqPstag
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要讓父親放下戒心,不會是件容易的事。35Please respect copyright.PENANAMUdVOBykMa
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離黎家因為黨爭遭到肅清,時間只剩沒幾年。35Please respect copyright.PENANAHTfjrctlcJ
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黎家世代簪纓,直到父親為與母親相守,帶著母親私奔,無法借助家族勢力,只能以平民科考入仕,所幸父親並未懈怠,確實有學問,最終謀得一官半職,只是要在宦海浮沉,很難片葉不沾,若無家世或貴族幫襯,隨時會被當成代罪羔羊、構陷入獄,而即便狀況好些,也可能因為上面要安插自己的人,而讓中立的官員頻繁調職。35Please respect copyright.PENANA9gFQVZ1vmk
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父親不可能讓母親飽嚐舟車勞頓,如若因為官職而讓母親受苦,對父親而言,反而本末倒置,因此即便知道前途未卜,他也很難明哲保身。35Please respect copyright.PENANAPMfWZRhDsP
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這也是為什麼,寒門出身,未必就與蔭官對立。35Please respect copyright.PENANANu4uGxIuNR
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雖然父親未必不知道,兩不得罪是最好的方法,只是按照父親的性子與背景,也無法學全那些虛與委蛇的應對,再加上,不久之後,皇上會傳出病情,幾位皇子躍躍欲試,造成嚴重黨爭,不選邊站,幾乎不可能。35Please respect copyright.PENANAecAE3rHRkn
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與其被誤認是敵方勢力而攻擊,倒不如真的投靠其中一派,受其庇蔭。這是所有人的共識。35Please respect copyright.PENANAgTqafnE15u
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黨爭內容細瑣繁雜,要完全掌握在手中,幾乎不可能,是以與其事事都做得密不透風,不如多犯些小錯,讓人以為抓住了自己的把柄,這樣只要大事上選擇正確,無論於民於己,都是最好的結果。35Please respect copyright.PENANAKrYpr0s2zp
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前世的父親因為不諳此道,也並不幸運,沒有選到正確的儲君,最後遭到打壓清算,母親為救父親而疲於奔命,散盡家財,也無法挽回頹勢,最後積勞成疾,反而走得比父親更早,父親很快便也離世,留他孤身一人。35Please respect copyright.PENANAMOjzCehI90
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當時的黎絳洵能做的不多。35Please respect copyright.PENANAUvFijiUzOL
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父親不太管他,母親過於保護他,導致做了許多現在看來都十足蠢笨的錯事,聽信謠言、驕矜自大、死不改錯、還與紈褲子弟廝混等,這些都算輕的,因為真正的根本問題,是不夠聰明卻自以為是,是識人不明而遭致利用。35Please respect copyright.PENANArEm3hxuvnR
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成為別人的擋箭牌,而樹敵萬千,也因為訊息閉鎖、未能看清真正局勢,面對他人的虛假奉承都信以為真,可利益底下主動接近的,終究也會因為利益而離去。35Please respect copyright.PENANAroEDU8dtjX
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這種情況下,本就無人能勸導,更何況按他當時的性子,也不可能聽勸。35Please respect copyright.PENANACWxithmZc1
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不是不曾怨懟過父母,只是年歲漸長後,才能體會到當時的父母,也是第一次當人爹娘,又沒長輩能請教,教養孩子只能且戰且走。35Please respect copyright.PENANAH1QEpTFf5n
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無論對哪方勢力而言,這樣的黎家,都是十分容易操控且殺雞儆猴的好對象。35Please respect copyright.PENANAIytQdLiefW
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所幸,前世他為了替黎家翻案,鑽研分析多年,且為了生存,也改掉自己的臭硬脾氣,勉強可說是進退得宜,在官場上雖稱不上如魚得水,到底也差不到哪去。35Please respect copyright.PENANAI8cjI8ddYM
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不喜歡做與沒有能力做,是兩件事。35Please respect copyright.PENANAVZKUfY1cdv
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黎絳洵午夜夢迴總是貪求的「假如當初」已近在咫尺,是時候推倒重來,改變結局了。35Please respect copyright.PENANAebhtOWn07X
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這次他必須做到。35Please respect copyright.PENANAsddKXtdPrh
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