四、9Please respect copyright.PENANAfGJqDbgPaE
9Please respect copyright.PENANA00iUgoxTzI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAGlwIfhTuxK
9Please respect copyright.PENANAQY96uzGe8I
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmRMK7m2qfP
9Please respect copyright.PENANAnyJgNt9sQj
久到母親幾乎要鬆手的時候,黎絳洵開口,遲疑地問:「假如,娘一直以來相信的,其實都是假的,所作所為,不只沒有意義,還……還因此覺得喪失了所有的自信,無法從自我懷疑中脫身,娘會怎麼做?」9Please respect copyright.PENANACAYNKGpZaC
9Please respect copyright.PENANAErOViKQPVl
母親原本想說什麼,張口欲言幾次,還是嘆氣,「娘很想說出什麼人生哲理,不過……」9Please respect copyright.PENANA4eukwtQ85e
9Please respect copyright.PENANAj47hAa5BBE
黎絳洵看著母親,總是強勢走在前面,為他抵擋風雨,疼他、寵他的母親,她第一次露出孩子般的迷茫神色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAngYxBQcZOo
9Please respect copyright.PENANAnlPGz433nX
「娘不是什麼成功的人,也沒有什麼大道理可以說,或許你爹會有吧,畢竟當初是你爹非要離家出走的。」母親聳聳肩,接著說:「相信的事情,娘只能想到你爹騙了娘,這可能在別人家裡是常有的事,不過你爹的話,假如他騙了娘,那娘也會想,所以這個人到底是誰啊?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAs11iVlbe5T
9Please respect copyright.PENANApQrBelWfla
父親欺騙母親這種事,在他家裡是不可能發生的,雖然黎絳洵仍然不覺得父親喜歡自己,但父親做任何事情的出發點,都是為了母親。9Please respect copyright.PENANAV2OPcJRg7r
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7FN66UHZZx
母親繼續說:「只是說起來,其實你也長大了,有自己的想法了,說不定經歷的事情,已經比娘還多了。無論什麼原因,選擇相信什麼,就要承擔被背叛的可能信,可是終究……終究做下決定的,是你自己。人不可能完全不做錯任何事,自責也在所難免,你說的那些沒自信之類的,如果是錯信了人、做錯了決定,那除了彌補以外,也沒有其他的事情可以做了。只是……娘還是想讓你知道,天塌下來,有娘在啊,你爹也會在的,你不是一個人。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAh1mi9YzEqx
9Please respect copyright.PENANATTRv5yxFWI
水流聲在對話結束後,變得清晰起來。9Please respect copyright.PENANARNy9s57CJr
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8LCXBSX7ev
母親離開後,黎絳洵依舊待在涼亭裡。9Please respect copyright.PENANAef7KZTQdDo
9Please respect copyright.PENANAhA3c150KGB
信與不信前世的存在,都是錯的話,是不是也只能繼續想,哪一條路,錯得比較少?9Please respect copyright.PENANA4uPUjYvZAJ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAraNt7t9xVP
為了彌補前世的缺憾,黎絳洵一直都在朝著目標前進,殫精竭慮,一步不歇。9Please respect copyright.PENANAsILtXGNklo
9Please respect copyright.PENANAtnLmhILSpt
已經可以覺得累了嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1csJPUXgx
9Please respect copyright.PENANAHwqV3vGfaf
什麼都不知道的時候,還比較輕鬆,可是他總要面對,因為他不是一個人。9Please respect copyright.PENANAz3L7pAS9Ag
9Please respect copyright.PENANAW0h4o0c33C
後來母親替自己擋下了不少拜帖,尤其是言府的,讓黎絳洵有更多空間思考。9Please respect copyright.PENANADhtzHAGHy6
9Please respect copyright.PENANAKpMaYq0gC6
原以為母親會擔心和言府的婚約告吹,母親卻沒有問連言府也不要聯絡的原因。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgR7P8xdi49
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmCcmeaClYB
過了一段與言府再無交集的日子,黎絳洵的心慢慢平穩下來。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZqeXjQKU90
9Please respect copyright.PENANAeSP6yaq5VB
妻子的音容笑貌仍在腦海中盤旋不去,言曇岫和妻子又長得這麼像,要說妻子完全不曾存在,那也缺乏關鍵的證據。9Please respect copyright.PENANA9ML73231Ah
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYiCNu16Cnk
可是,如果前世是真的,那妻子便是撒了謊。9Please respect copyright.PENANAE0PnYxnPRT
9Please respect copyright.PENANA09OmirdJ48
即便黎絳洵不追究或找尋真相,妻子究竟是誰?又在哪裡?更進一步來說,他已經改變了黎家的未來,妻子的人生也被改變了嗎?妻子仍會自己來到他面前嗎?要是再也無法相見,自己要怎麼做?9Please respect copyright.PENANAtTQHpWhUrE
9Please respect copyright.PENANAHsiau2TyJi
和言曇橋的婚約是必須退掉的,雖然這點是篤定的,只是倘若取消婚約,妻子無法冒用未婚妻的名頭,她仍會來到他身邊嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAJizjOHMqSa
9Please respect copyright.PENANAqBxI4BKxPG
而為了給妻子一個機會,不取消婚約,拖著言曇橋的年紀不提,即便自私一點想,不考慮言曇橋,妻子也未必就會出現。9Please respect copyright.PENANAmkR0cQC79j
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8hyE8psJcv
期限不能是永遠,他不能將一生虛耗在等待上,總要有期限。9Please respect copyright.PENANA0qHxnDuBeJ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAtjBoh7Y4LH
巡視店鋪的例行公事,母親原本不希望黎絳洵再費心,黎絳洵卻堅持這個工作不能中斷,依然每隔一段時間,就要親自去現場,看看還有什麼能改進的、或者有沒有需要他處理的事,而回程路上,黎絳洵原會滯留在街市上,替妻子挑選前世沒能送出的各種禮物以及飾品,如今多看一眼那些華美或可愛的小玩意兒,都會再次陷入謎團。9Please respect copyright.PENANACAlbFJi12k
9Please respect copyright.PENANAX48FqQz7Cs
於是他也少了逛市集的理由,那些曾經新奇有趣的東西,對黎絳洵而言,再也沒有意義。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3U3zcaCPr2
9Please respect copyright.PENANAfpBwa2vKFc
他經過一應失去色彩的街景,回到家中。9Please respect copyright.PENANAUYLpN1EBhp
9Please respect copyright.PENANAi2GOWd4NSX
庫房裡已經囤積了一些要送給妻子的東西,那都是這些年累積起來的,原本想著以未婚夫的名字送去言府,並無不妥;只是世事難料,待他打點好一切後,有能力守護妻子時,卻不曉得這些東西怎麼送到它們的主人那裡,亦沒了送禮給言府的理由。9Please respect copyright.PENANAyFhkwCqVUE
9Please respect copyright.PENANAtYQhXlhhHZ
如果只是各家之間年節往來的禮物,自有母親籌備打理,不需要他處理,就如母親說的,他不是一個人,不是只有受到父母保護,他還需要考慮到母親在與言府退婚後,該怎麼面對流言蜚語。9Please respect copyright.PENANAsBmfzgtAl7
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmQz63xLd7a
唯獨不禁惆悵,原本看著就會想到妻子笑容的東西,現在成了積灰而礙事的秤砣,壓著他的心口,嘲諷他兩世都活在謊言中,遠遠重於其他。9Please respect copyright.PENANAKjC5mXimma
9Please respect copyright.PENANA441CKk1kGC
怎麼也無法繼續前進時,他才會轉往酒樓。9Please respect copyright.PENANArBWzvFx2TW
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7Dnm0X090s
杯中物澆愁,杯中物忘憂,都說好酒醇厚,黎絳洵卻喝不出來,為了交際應酬,雖然他確實練了酒量,不會幾杯就倒,可他品不出酒水吸引人之處。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZeIosWGVh1
9Please respect copyright.PENANARznfpQWeUx
倘若只是希望讓神思恍惚一些,不再思考自己徒勞無功的努力,實際上根本沒幫上妻子,那麼,酒的味道就半分也不重要。9Please respect copyright.PENANAXmDxSWQ16q
9Please respect copyright.PENANAySvIUl1GKX
照明與招人用的燈籠,掛上了每個店家醒目之處,黎絳洵也離開酒樓,晚飯時間,自是沒多少人逗留在街上,他吹著風,想藉此吹散酒氣,免去母親煩憂,只是眨眼間,錯過的大門在身後傳出巨響。9Please respect copyright.PENANAXwIrMKHefQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAItH1y10hkq
他停下腳步往後看,一團黑影被扔出來,摔在地上的聲音相當有份量。9Please respect copyright.PENANApMxPevazAB
9Please respect copyright.PENANAz1HmvDAbxA
黎絳洵的目光,很快被圍過來看熱鬧的路人們阻隔。看慣了這戶人家做派的街坊鄰居們對著縮成一團的人指指點點,向不明所以的路人嘰嘰喳喳地解釋著。9Please respect copyright.PENANADORlja5X19
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言府庶長子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAdX6JRQa7S0
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjUhqS5yM0f
聽著反復在人們口中出現的稱呼,黎絳洵沒有立刻離開,他本就知道言曇岫的事情,他人說來說去,也是同樣那些事情,即便黎絳洵能替他阻撓幾次,源源不絕的惡意才是根源,不治本,就只能聽由虐待之事繼續加諸在言曇岫身上。9Please respect copyright.PENANAh6PnbvZerT
9Please respect copyright.PENANALVGplxbr9t
人潮或快或慢地散開,逐漸露出了正在書展四肢的言曇岫,不曉得是頭部或者四肢受了傷,站起來的動作並不順暢,他搖了幾晃,茫然四顧,直到看見黎絳洵。9Please respect copyright.PENANAagJAckx5t8
9Please respect copyright.PENANAiPfqOQ0ggY
言曇岫全身一僵,慌忙用也沒多乾淨的袖子擦拭著臉,卻只是越擦越髒,只是言曇岫不曉得這件事。9Please respect copyright.PENANAM9bjEu3QhR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAnkFMdaG0eI
他跑向黎絳洵,期期艾艾地問:「記得嗎?我……你。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAXLbYVGgD7J
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkkbyvZSTVJ
黎絳洵緩緩眨著眼,他想不起來剛才思量了什麼,又為何要停下,分明早該回家。9Please respect copyright.PENANAUBo5pncAoQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANANkkXbfSzFx
家中……家中有備菜,妻子在等他回家。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxoR8m7CO3j
9Please respect copyright.PENANA1ch5kpHlBJ
因為酒精而逐漸加重的頭暈,讓黎絳洵的身子搖搖擺擺的,無法完全站穩,言曇岫想扶住他,然而一伸出手,對比黎絳洵身上乾淨精緻的衣服,自己連手都不乾淨,要是碰了,只會弄髒人家而已。9Please respect copyright.PENANApGJGHMwEmg
9Please respect copyright.PENANAltkmJdbMTW
言曇岫這麼一猶豫,黎絳洵便差點撲倒了言曇岫,言曇岫盡力撐直身板,讓黎絳洵不要摔到地上。9Please respect copyright.PENANAE1TaUgN0fU
9Please respect copyright.PENANAg4d4QC94rq
黎絳洵靠在言談岫肩上咕噥著,有些糊在一起的詞彙以及鼻音,有些過於小聲,幾乎聽不見。9Please respect copyright.PENANA5A1l8R2lGH
9Please respect copyright.PENANAi2DWLHHqbz
言曇岫皺著眉看天,他沒有思考過太複雜的事情,但他記得,有一次自己等不到其他願意幫他開門的人,又冷又餓的,有個和尚經過,把化緣而來的飯菜分了些給他。9Please respect copyright.PENANA1e7yWiai38
9Please respect copyright.PENANAWjuwbrc7rd
他就這麼扶著黎絳洵走,走到附近一間讓他躲雨過的寺廟,儘管言曇岫沒辦法好好說明,廟裡的人還是騰了乾淨的地方,給黎絳洵休息。9Please respect copyright.PENANAQw4WvCk6ZU
9Please respect copyright.PENANAqnySSKvN6r
言曇岫縮著肩膀,彎曲著手指,時不時瞥向黎絳洵,每每對上他身上被自己弄髒的地方,他就越不敢坐下休息,在一旁站了很久。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxNX2CuNV3w
9Please respect copyright.PENANALOczIJZ59k
黎絳洵一直沒有醒,言曇岫不曉得到底發生什麼事,只能學著其他香客,在案前下跪,跪也不敢跪在地板以外的地方,雙手合十,小小聲用自己理解的語言,向神明祈求。9Please respect copyright.PENANAujijXyORB2
9Please respect copyright.PENANA99kvwzUxfz
半課鐘後,由於初醒而模糊的視線,被灰煙繚繞半遮半掩,黎絳洵愣神望著跪在地上、虔誠求神的身影,過了很久,言曇岫察覺到他醒了,走到他面前,怯怯地看他,黎絳洵才反應過來,他仍舊沒有回到妻子所在的地方,那個專注祈禱的熟悉身影,不是他妻子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAGOtfyHvTMa
9Please respect copyright.PENANANLHDlnLi1S
黎絳洵深深吸了口氣,雙肩隨著呼氣垂下來。9Please respect copyright.PENANAGny2fx2Qmm
9Please respect copyright.PENANAzoXfoiZSoN
「你……想離開言府嗎?」黎絳洵遲疑地問。9Please respect copyright.PENANArcgnbpBkXg
9Please respect copyright.PENANAbH0adPrWHN
言曇岫歪著頭問:「去哪裡?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAnqZv78VvQt
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvBtk9Kgigv
「跟我回家,要嗎?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAiP4YfXimb3
9Please respect copyright.PENANAd1GfOBa4wI
言曇岫看起來不太明白這句話的意思,黎絳洵只能用過往問他事情時的老方法,發音盡量清晰地、將同一個意思換成其他句子。9Please respect copyright.PENANANp9jFo9YVH
9Please respect copyright.PENANApJbVJSDbN8
言曇岫的四肢過瘦,身高也比黎絳洵矮,黎絳洵順著言曇岫的視線看過去,是自己的手正摩娑著腰間的玉珮。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJLpXPUPaEH
9Please respect copyright.PENANAu2huS0MyKI
黎絳洵沒等到答覆,他不由得想,是他不該介入他人的人生,能決定自身命運的、永遠只有當事人,若言曇岫不願意,無論所處環境再怎樣令人憐憫,黎絳洵都不會主動干涉。9Please respect copyright.PENANAHKdEbm8WNQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAb9BRM5pWBx
黎絳洵向廟裡的人問明了位置,接著帶言曇岫回到言府的宏偉大門前。9Please respect copyright.PENANAH2xClymopA
9Please respect copyright.PENANAcrpzcYQtlF
他躬身對言曇岫說:「再見。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAQEsjkVdunE
9Please respect copyright.PENANA2gY1pnS7FB
玉珮下的流蘇隨著他轉身而晃動,黎絳洵暗忖著恐怕要放棄言曇岫這條線索,用更間接的方式,先從言曇岫的生母那邊查起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAXyqmkrqaWW
9Please respect copyright.PENANAiz77gu22qC
雖說他原本也不是為了要找妻子才問言曇岫要不要跟他走的,要問為什麼,他自己也不曉得。9Please respect copyright.PENANAE0D5gJygXp
9Please respect copyright.PENANAKHShMgKv9n
忽然從背後撞上來的力道不輕,言曇岫環著他的腰,頓了頓,又趕忙鬆手,小力扯了扯黎絳洵的袖子尾端。9Please respect copyright.PENANAaFf2EyQ9jz
9Please respect copyright.PENANAQJ95j92xmW
「生氣嗎?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAVacd2VVoPT
9Please respect copyright.PENANAaw0eLbdO80
黎絳洵搖頭說:「我沒生氣。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA8ABy3JteW0
9Please respect copyright.PENANAuzZY8F0bCb
言曇岫鬆開手,怯生生地說:「生氣……打人的,可是……可是想。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAsgqyZr2pGM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAI8yXRU6mHf
要說黎絳洵能光靠這些詞彙理解全文,那是不可能的,不過他凝視著努力想表達意思的言曇岫,露出鬆了口氣的笑容。9Please respect copyright.PENANAGsFe5IGjye
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7jNjnfAL73
「好。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA4gIMOjXRkF
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6lUx9j9Lu
只要這樣就夠了。9Please respect copyright.PENANA0niZAXnwGR
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9Please respect copyright.PENANA7XlfqI8IzF
9Please respect copyright.PENANAg6qHSBXyOR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAaeXPD89mps