— No, I don't feel like it.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOVJkRP0Bi
— But yes, it will be fun.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2G4Z8ekgUA
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLyO1jDTLM
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfacrWooD93
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYfst5V8tr
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEX1roiwCC
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjsSjPj97M
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62fEN0s90f
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpoeFJhZfC
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRywo1BQx1
I can see by his expression that I have a point.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB11QU68Yu
— Hello, Megan.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwu8sBQWCD
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCTaNuVKGv
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIQdyXUnmk
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0s3PizAO5g
— At the high school Halloween party.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnf7cfsMKJE
— Good idea ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBy98WKYLx
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlA1byY2lES
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzudmpgrhfs
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CUbM9X1zT
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxTJXnQbqA
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58aJeWEfBm
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3I3IfgQaIY
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMQwfQ5JIf
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcEAnw27dN
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAQOkoISyv
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RGwGzvR5v
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Mr7zCEG6p
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dfeSJ48dK
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M1U2V151D
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The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K6tjpfuKL
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpDUhAukSe
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD7KaRZCDV
Immediately, I grimace.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGTy89mTj8
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡem6CJxzWoP
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOF18zJUuO
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uDsn7kwcZ
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjQObyM8f2
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMfiA3cMke
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0HWwpr4wX
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBzBPJIshJ
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvg8zGMCy9
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsAIPbTr5G
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuj8fYws8sx
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87tPVsw8q8
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6Phx4jKhH
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbp7yHbUdjm
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXp9yIfO3q
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdjlOqSRsI
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizYGlrpeos
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uJ76ab0rn
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxOTdB9ZQj
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi77gTv5LHW
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bgHdJaEVT
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWU0W7YzreT
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRALtHmgd2
— Ah good ? What ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcTWQXFsHF
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBgW5STZn1
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxHcrLfqlR
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3WoS3bCPb
— No, but I have never been in love.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6zx17aiyL
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4UpJu0OI9
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjABYvvz0mB
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNL2vBo3wV
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oKEQinpgq
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSWJNyO4Ny
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoayRFHiohx
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On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlL3nO1nY04
— Is my dress okay ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbdtU6zEGu
— You are very chic, admire my father.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaTgqmabu0
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPaCQVdKWH
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi9QpbOFTQ
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m7Ox58e9N
My mother laughs.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRx8v98GyE
— That’s definitely your idea ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCxx0OovmH
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsrMAXRvIi
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFg2CgZ4jjc
— Yes, he’s great ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpMeCrxpp9
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnOvRgKjee
— We are just friends.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpD76tWMKn
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SMfq5qF2z
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkDRDoAHhB
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcejcOCVi2s
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8rcu6XoDZ
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmS7AXBCo9
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC9O2lOtGx
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdEZpzaPNl
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLcb0eAxOw
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNhUub31Rs
— I go ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9J0BtWGUX
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbmRWO4U0W
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCro2O7mCP
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdBNToRS8H
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRqMAiMjbO
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrTkQ6bZ6F
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0XSFOCoaw
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIqKauU4Nl
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VGnOgXAqK
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLrDqEMUhh
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzK7SRAOuv
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbghYcsThK
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV8lSibq5R
We burst out laughing.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2yCGWmETL
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsix7FXXdKE
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4DCJ7Sda4
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7Z8yPyh0j
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjhv94Y3HN
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuWXb126MW
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdpOqoK89e
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEPUQVio15
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xktWyhdHC
He is suddenly serious.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCK4jgfGI7y
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22aoRdxk8u
I want to tell him, but I hold back.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡti3Th9t3iZ
Instead, I answer him : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GHAnsBYTT
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIK5yJxh3T
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1bARSRd5i
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kqRr41WkY
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4co44YjG8G
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5PoVRVVTy
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnye9mcaYUt
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C8OVac9cL
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqqfwjVlf6
— Who wants to start ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPajM7iZ0aj
Jessy and I exchange a look.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5BcnEaX1Z
"Iron, Meg."403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYatw78MCJ
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHxwzdxC2A
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDjrQcqiUa
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAUzidtnwY
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8pxgpf22p
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBPeGQm7IN
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxvjRJ5dpE
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFPnLEGcfX
— Thanks.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUT2vY2Ogl
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDBD3ayl1S
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7dtZk1dJT
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWOu3eVlKj
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqTzHY6IuA
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2Q3DVaZjg
She turns over another card : the Hermit.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU1RleKMeS
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiSd5ubKCI
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTkAeXw1H2
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ098E3YrNEw
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd9MJhFdb8
She turns over the last card : the World.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zGcfXHUOk
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcq9l4NC3y
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDxEB1AkUT
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiufP6u0P5p
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7sVSQRMbc
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAikm4QDin8
— Jessy, are you okay ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqNVfwuwpq
— Yes, very good.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfExtgy68x9
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAm4olO8ZL
He stops and turns to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAdWSTiQm9
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2BPtW5B7o
— It wasn't that clear to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTbMWsebZm
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlctY3f2d23
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DJkVoDu35
My reply makes Jessy laugh.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB3wt3AS0v
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVo1d2Yf2s
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNEqEm8BvI
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDUM7z1O1c
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMAkGaQ9MZ
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0BWrmgcRJ
— You are thirsty ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZpT7qKEBF
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRszYR7Mj8
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP92xeI7Iv
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXKGF9dZs3
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjmkqp2NCd
— Come Dance.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv7wvSMXW0
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPy1JOyfTv5
— I thought you didn't dance ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr4gDPspaU
— I never said that.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOO7vvN08LE
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfd4BMX145
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSrncBep36
— What is…403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE508LBm1Y
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGnijGCQOD
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiIMmjfjAl
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoFwi3Eoig
We lean against a car.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxebOmqKRAC
— Why are you shaking ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmZq0XNNSt
I question him timidly.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2fFilNHX3
— I don't really want to talk about it.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8G1CFdxRs
— But you are livid ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p0ahh9pZQ
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eOYwRbNpO
— Agree as you like.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW3t46yEc8
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnbWHGcHcL
— Shall we go back ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypWnFplMyC
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJdbBXpzcH
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafy51nN1r1
— All that ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgtVo8ir27
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXw0irW0Ex
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB2klQ3Yov
Jessy turns to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA9XOBBJca
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlirt1kQCw
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboxppDHULw
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEwX1w0qdc
He nods silently.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzZKqI5kBl
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QzTH3UcCz
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2Lv01fYo1
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHBUXoBjab
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcAw76ORz3
A black car stops next to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf35f6KdTPM
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNfrvdqizo
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2BnvEHSyU
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFXVU273BH
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3m3zmkQ6A
— Where are we going ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx9jFfC9En
— It's coming ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJacS4qeYH9
— At the cinema ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8p0PuclAE
— Non. 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡei1Toa4KYb
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7qYygBgHG
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtD8BpUxFn
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHuHjceuQF
— Your parents won't be worried ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffC5deK37K
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6cPp9JfX8
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2eSjltPZn
Still want to come ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhgOxOprZ4
He gets onto the highway.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCap9PXfhj1
— Totally ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIwvIIj1IQ
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCsXWYqXbv
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTbVkH61xe
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After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtexlRlVmL7
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjef3rzDRQ9
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxt6hfaKIO
— Is this where you lived ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2C6bI5Wr59
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyuysTiVIE
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5itUddib6T
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppWH4GojNx
— What ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qbdsH43Aq
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EwarGdnIJ
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKc0FbYMWV
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QvYVMCXiR
— Come on, let’s go.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7T1GgUC5Dn
I remain stunned.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0OjuyPRiA
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZ0tNZQBaJ
He stares at me, his face frozen.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8VlkrfdV6
— I am scared.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7HUjINOoP
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuaf6lEPhl
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesdKOL5H1C
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34DvXr9wPc
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzgiAbzXKS
— Did it go wrong ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJjLjqtVFl
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofIDRzQduA
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8WSQ9biJw
— Haley died five months ago.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQnjO6eJo4
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibfgFTcCRT
— Is that all his mother told you ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zRnEIZAlu
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAte842ITN
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquEnfsBCWG
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhPOcQixVm
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZBWjOU3ht
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRrKf8yJwd
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHxYbcXTqi
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglxEA74y5T
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RoKby3Jt4
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOSBgYsyAF
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo63BJybwti
Soon his fist is bloody.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKYvb0HBSM
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7j7YFxjUL
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzR2h8cpDe
— For what ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe7iPLGdr1
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8P2Wdze274
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1ZGg65zUb
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21g0R94XQ4
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZAZLIOpD7
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNTkMDDYnI
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRNsPzz2PR
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rJjj6zdSE
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcV4GbMG2wt
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8Nx7fg9di
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ856mdR88Au
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHAyyhWxR3
— Why do you feel relieved ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6JT7Y226J
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPBeKXviyY
— For nothing, forget it.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWG3AnH9GE
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzuUdywhLK
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM7fzVDvHq
He looks at me, incredulous.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6AXmvwPGY
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkSS89OXWa
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY72NCmHzv
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUhcxltO1o
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcxT3BamrN
— I'm not going back with Chad.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LFJ1WfjuC
— It's true ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWodjPT46cA
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4m5RjhQHlV
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbgRRzh2iY
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOOqO0WxlF
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyR29VRMZa
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJZ32WqDGL
I fiddle with a button on his coat.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7afdxepJfZ
— It's true.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQ0S4pZ6qv
He purses his lips and says : 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae6h9Nl25E
— Do you want to go out with me ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzOxC3zW4H
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxxP6LpHxm
Jessy gives me a big smile.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMHJZu64Ni
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ301ZVdOzOq
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdSlBNBLGO
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcooLIYeXMj
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc97hHwrSy6
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoCuYZuZEd
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvEr79S2uy
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kQ5pI3Vds
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNuFzALuCX
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UQmuRx7gF
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5y5vmMAPiH
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQI6oPPQM0
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR03vPVBUtX
— Where are we ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYR8pdANcK
— Come with me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBamf7v9t1G
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ976T1KILDq
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBM2bI9KnAv
With tears in his eyes, he nods.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgRaRrgiTF
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm3X61Ypov
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIExJAhRNB
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCw8ExfuYcI
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFpNH6fpQv
— No, it’s meant for you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhPNApjCuG
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdWCd7FiTl
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29AqRrWEpR
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Jessy, 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U1yWkvglz
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTMQnWNDqZ
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbBiHX8YOC
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl94jV4b7YZ
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rNpLykg8E
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI3J9gnBYL
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Haley 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlw8DgWPnfJ
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrATngFXr0
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAcBeADRe1
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNa2QOWTm37
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Gx2lPeSer
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOmxevtL0Q
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWD9pUrQa3l
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNe3F7jKcf
He holds out his hand to me. 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9jyCRVUhV
— With pleasure.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbHdMoukAv
« I’m on your side 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgMg2FNq3N
You know I’m not the enemy. » 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJi9r8QVYAJ
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSfkLXQYDV
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuaRUzCckv
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfcA1SubU2
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQA2djLlaP
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeYksmS0iG
« I’ll hold on to you. » 403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tYdwK1LW6
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ996nW13AFH
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveEiAnlNhF
