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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKbJMcQ0Sk
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9uspoONGJ
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdTbLdGl1s
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzqr1PndMr
— Ok I hear you.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SiZqP056X
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCKckgSLpm
— A tattoo ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkgikNf6Bq
She nods energetically.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8w4Om6tG9r
— While you are still a minor ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxr9Zz0vcg0
— Soon to be an adult.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zovAQFCNm
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsNyjWOeSF
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPwzZ7jh2v
— No way ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T4dqOpUlZ
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiD4ffOaQfE
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwl11xDjJi4
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmevXIScIUm
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsICDS3SDU
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8mzoiHx1s
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc94FYPT3tP
— She’s not a cool mother ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIM5Lkn3Sf
I decide to join them in the kitchen.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcCZiqIhmj
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQ7Lw97Yif
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLxjtYRF6j
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfVoSLr1Gd
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC80dGapvPx
My son looks at us, imperturbable.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziS9Wm8O7K
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SeBqYZLli
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20YxPmyVJj
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDRSEaOImh
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrgXFbIDFG
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAhM9IwTGm
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrXhQfWzX5
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54ITxcoDjG
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I02Re2TVB
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxHSe5DXyC
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiL28lCVLa0
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TLhEnAeIp
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlIYar6P9V
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqUUAQMtbI
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMzflJo008
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXq71ADTdt
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZFKmDNNW4
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PCoZHpwzJ
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMhW2AA3rb
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6hvhihXiE
My father coughs and chokes.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8pesxGOe3
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPlfNg0PaL
I nod yes.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFvNZb0SIB
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnla6glRs6j
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ3XpqFf4i
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35OkoW34dA
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s9OVgISHu
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuOCOQaLLz
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRmvq5jOlk
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiFBGPPYoP
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzozcZJJYT
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyajFuQuOa
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK12cQ7p84v
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GwZ5AqMTq
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dNAiFpwp3
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6YzlDWRvX
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH9qa9DXuq
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4ASNo501k
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqzy0gJUJ1
— Yes Megan.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzBVB0gsgZ
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83HxXpevpI
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHcBdo33X4
Many raise their hands including the new one.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvCHqmMKAR
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMKyU8IoV8
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2f9guhOsk
— Perfect, Jessy ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOGdWrlPVt
Jessy… 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAKmQEZODV
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaRwSzCg1N
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA8gG0LXv8
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Lj8uKyyQb
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1QG7c5L6G
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbQFOHoKrd
My cheeks immediately turn red.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNdESnZpcz
— There is nothing to say.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68cNfP6f4m
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61qQ4OnxnQ
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjh2tWBTvAg
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJXZ5R0W1P
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiB9esIiLQ
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVbVIjzbhR
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMugJiJkl5s
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTwQZYKSpY
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62f2jumWsa
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Pt1tstrxp
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKeDoiQpv9
— I learned a few things about him...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAATZfW3vQ7
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPnRP7CMHi
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFddEUOpXNb
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeV7o42nIQI
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP0lyi7yHP
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIiqgKXZZV
When I don't answer, he continues : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojnTfDqSPJ
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9elRnjpMs
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvuBRCg2QQ
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZlZ23a09g
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhVGDhb4L2
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglq47bjEnr
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoIm3lchRJ
Why am I blushing ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCQxfPm56p
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8TxJwHgOz
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXPQoDMKoc
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUydRCRrIz
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IwdEzJZT8
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BNtabAaoD
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnQPlge0dB
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ivbHrFNW6
— Where were you ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXWIaw3SMh
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yOycsyv5D
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTVQFzhQvb
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK6Spb5xLK
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixdmCNmDQ2
— This guy is weird ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iHTdCvZXZ
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqgKTjLC2V
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxXcWPxVVl
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHThXoVRPd
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcC3SAgwqR
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyG7cjTEJ7g
— I am coming with you.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl5W4AkoCI
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IGTjBGQpc
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgeJGCqHlv
My boyfriend raises his voice.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV9eItiC9P
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeex0Pck3a2
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGHk02wQxd
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MH105uXKv
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ5mXcx3NR
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvXSsNkKuD
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpG0S1Iusx
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WMaGFyoYS
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZHNh5Kb1l
Having little choice, I accept.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwheEyw5HC
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tk4u7yDE4
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekXPu6I5Fe
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck1kgXDXVS
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eJNv2u5zz
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRGq3Wf0sM
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgIfoEOXFn
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpmDXylTqo
— What are you talking about ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM8dk5NMm9
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0DVoxCZYQ
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQCLjyvQXo
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB4Py7RcV3
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrGNW0JEGK
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCC5B7YkrB
— I'm going back.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6Z0tZ5ch8
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rjrDZFzyc
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RXkYXQcek
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x66gNGllT
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkM2RsXd7c
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYE9ezOGI8
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi2zVW7Omz
— I need to walk...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFiYCU1Car
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It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yzHyViaES
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuuILWYKdh
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx1lAVEJUV
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlngs6VPQE3
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXUcuRIL9k
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfrtSMF0aw
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9Y9RKQc6W
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAev0z66xqD
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzHZq5Ik2c
I look at him, surprised.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyqQbFhjAr
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rcM4Yc9GZ
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFMFzH5Qtn
— You're good ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf269ZKG6NX
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOXnBVdqVR
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPXPUWh60t
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSZywSpyhg
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzC7aK2Qgq
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROI4bAuOxt
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQgy3XgZg2
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoQqKzt5fo
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoSkvLOMX9
— Did this happen to you too ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vYTQemMMR
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8mV7lDbv8
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsc1d5p0e0A
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUbDfdkzrM
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOCrfpwE9y
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gqL3V8PRh
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPNuDkMW4B
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvSWaLydAb
— I see in you.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj876FenWzM
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacEIuPj5RL
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sk8wgBfHZ
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlLjm7Dji8
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0uGnClmhN
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The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXg77ro9x4W
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWVhHM4CIA
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GFs34IU1q
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeZ3AoCwsD
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡav4zuvcPrj
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85nu4Vf4d6
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOuabAl2St
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeA0EvACIA
Immediately, boos are heard.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHPvl5ZmmM
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYcjKKgcF4
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91GyM1T2J7
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1015nDSXO
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJnw6Su7XK
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr5Xzs835L
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEHqfkRt8h
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2I6C9Htxd
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWeRhzkrG4
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApRq7rO5TR
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPdMaLuh3x
— Jessy, wait ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCE707yv0E
He slows down, but doesn't stop.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNA2bhpDX9
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCamvltQWl
His shoulders relax and he exhales.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4oQrvlFu2
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2Ylg70ZPA
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10iBpLQkwT
— I'm not…415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKn1iksJFGr
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8THrMorzJ
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vx0AV5v4u
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zHs5Vz0n2
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiy6lHeFtB
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uJdE2zXpu
Why didn't I think of that ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0toVrPIbDO
I refrain from slapping myself.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87GxCdETAQ
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjDF5TAbRN
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThnAGIK7Fb
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf94eXXjGF
But what is happening to me ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0aaEc6s8c
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoQC9gTqs6
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YkvbRxcVP
What's going on with Jessy ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GF21c518d
Astonished, I wrote : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRevyithjd
What ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjHA84xqRW
Chad's response was quick : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfOXkbBaNx
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9jl63QBlV
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpCbwaJFSA
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZim4apNr5T
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmc9CTa2aIM
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkXPvwM4km
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZsNVReXjB
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At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCtr0IVZar
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNBgz6eHvP
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRg1yqOl4f
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeC8ABxzVrK
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXh6SJnKAGi
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwoicEw1cP
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnWe7miMEi
I am left speechless.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavNNyEPKMh
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNg5yPO5UhV
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcXAuaOnu4
— Very often. I hurt you ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJWUYfTEv9
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWTyr6rqRS
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvu8sSPzY3
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPKxTqdiW3
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupvrynMEdq
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOH1HurzJBv
— Mom, this is Jessy.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjx6eKhmsW
They greet each other.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllTYBp64ld
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CLTuFik8y
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurxL271mhN
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n8sJJba2k
He shrugs his shoulders.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3NdDSC29r
— I don't want to bother you…415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCVqrWdIu5
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlZTbPrnrB
— Nicolas is my older brother…415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ70rFlCkh
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11ViDEpbRe
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡws9Bsxqkap
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvcM8CqrNB
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgvjkyE28k
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU6R67PGb9
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FSr0kcmQc
— For what ? I tell the truth.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ClIl8cAkJ
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprnphT1bxl
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6oJAI5lYq
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WYlKY2EGu
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44SSzD3PGN
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IT8hjU8GX
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNOpItQWGL
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBAlUaqyxB
I glance at him sideways, smiling.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNQRafVc89
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX2XXq6fur
— Not really.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPAE4aF1sX
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkgdQSP5Pj
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxw8pYN4Qt
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2H9dTKRnQA
— You think that…415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8XVLjE9RH
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4igxBfUF3G
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jhYvRsycV
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSviDhjendX
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TPrb2eGir
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwFzvnxF5P
— Megan ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSu3Xr6Utj
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoQQEwVIYN
— I am sure of it ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcvncVe1yZ
I give him a big smile.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGSlbZZAja
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X7LfHw0P4
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiT3PyyzaWZ
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZWIJ28WOF
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsOoQM7XvK
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMCX4butYt
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdM0sdNfqKj
— Did you move here alone ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrrhPspVNH
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTXulKF1oX
— No, I live with my mother.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwbSfE6tTf
— And your father ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvY9sAdsTlX
— My father died when I was a kid.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPb9i7yzDXx
— Sorry.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCNOXDY9yS
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2prNUf83OR
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPqDa4MCod
Jessy grimace. 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkVHY1fYGm
— No, they stayed in Allentown.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz21NqGjBGM
— For what ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdikzj23iP
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9CssZkoE3
— Joker ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIMpv3g44E
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCi0Egf2ul
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpn5zccePas
— Re joker ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IRsBwlES3
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMxbXZhykQ
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucxkhHeYB5
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtRba3jopk
Looking serious, he nods.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDHKebeAvQ
— So you’re from Allentown ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGRcGMsln6
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31JmNZZpvJ
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VGePT8gn7
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uKdx83AFM
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GNPsMBcIE
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJSI7xYQ2h
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaZXiA3Nep
I blush and lower my head.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBoTPUpZCS
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4C6MfXCIvU
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSYMRkXzF0
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvVy1GeGAk
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDPhjCseIj
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdlfFK6ev4
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zzR8tthrp
— You still have ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqpsayFFdO
— Well no, we split up...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGScCQxluc
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aA5ZgHXjW
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw1NExmjzC
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAJoWoRVjr
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lK4ucDpwr
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAig18ra5PF
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2124vEtMAZ
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ74w1YRBxU
He glares at me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKS0Dnwn4c
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoDkKFQum8
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQDDQH6ykN
— So where is the problem ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUn0Fx4WmW
— I can not do that.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQLyDzRKTS
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmSQNf6esy
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyo6feyMjTx
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2XmNA5gSl
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyB3FcU51M
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFGiWludme
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhBfoNwiok
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEegnFisTPl
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhLg6agTtU
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVgW4ZA6Cp
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGzuHzAs2p
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVREeoEqjeN
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUwUj4HgpL
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkQ1drx1dK
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc3ZjqYkor
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstIAOeJmOI
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jnuQZcKFk
— Hello ? he says, happily.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUluH5wJDWY
— Nick, it’s me.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2m5rgxzgkS
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDfJCLnMM2
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC0hUMhEns
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYnq1sxr9m
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmLWRijkBR
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sxY8XR5oK
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWdq0VeBBG
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUXib79WMm
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfC5urX3q6o
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEVv9UW8cG
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlLnLfenwe
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3J21xUp6Ei
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gjRewNr6I
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C79FD1u17
— I wouldn't be able to.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbnjedWawU
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocXnbArh9X
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vIJXZD69K
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEPpRHIx70
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRuQQw4EM9
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoTPnDLClt
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
