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For long minutes, I stroke Jessy's wet hair, trying to soothe his pain, his fears. When he straightens his face, he seems ashamed to have cried in my arms. Delicately, I wipe away his last tears, surprised that he lets me do it, and smile at him to reassure him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43RADeG146
We set off on our way back in torrential rain, yet we walk peacefully, savoring the fact of being together. I don't care if it rains as long as I'm with him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKuZjxpjXg
— Anyway, we're already soaked, I answer Jessy when he asks me if I want to run to get to his house faster. It'll be OK ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLxkgBcDJx
— Yeah, I think so.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w3KiyvTXO
— Jessy, please promise me you’ll never let yourself fall into the void like that again. I got the fright of my life.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwrJV0M0t3
Hands in his pockets, he shrugs his shoulders and breathes deeply before telling me : 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUaAWWGMMo
— Promise. Why do you care about me so much ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwW1AUtHhY
His question makes my heart beat faster. I'm not ready to tell him the feelings he inspires in me. I have to analyze them first and try to find out what he feels. So even though I feel my cheeks turning pink, I answer him evasively.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCsqqMfkM8
— Why not ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHx8LZMZew2
— When people learn about AIDS, they turn their backs on me. This is why my mother and I came to live here. Even my father-in-law couldn't stand me living under his roof anymore.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IsK99dwuL
— There are morons everywhere, I whisper. Jessy, I like you. I'm not going to start ignoring you because you have a health problem.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43QhStECjQ
— Thank you, he murmurs, pursing his lips. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean to be so rude.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4bfAnagca
His unexpected apology really makes me happy. When Jessy stops telling me off, I see in him the boy I had guessed at first glance : A good guy to whom difficult things happen. I think that's why he always tries to show an angry face, he has suffered so much that he doesn't want people to perceive his fragility.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rXBiwDMBk
— It's forgotten. By the way, I met your mother. She seems very nice.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KZSuZhuyy
Despite our slow walk, we already arrive in front of his house.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvysQLFSaC
— She is. Do you want me to take you home ? I can borrow his car.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqB1NQNTvXV
— No, it is going to be fine. I don't want to get the seats soggy, I smile. See you tomorrow ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjkFTnMbEr
I am happy to see him nod with a big smile. And as I walk away, I realize I've never been closer to him than I am tonight.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsJJHcbmL5
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It's almost 11 p.m. when I get home, completely soaked. My parents are waiting for me, impatient and worried.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDcsyIsYMo
— Finally, here you are, my father roared. Look at you, you're good at wringing ! 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZmJWr301X
— Were you with Jessy ? My mother asks in her usual soft voice.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFIXwZZty9
I nod, shivering from the cold.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54YH2Az1sD
— We spoke with Mrs. Sutter at the meeting. She told us that her son had been missing for hours and that she had no idea where he might be. She was very worried about him, my father told me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEoGf2M8QY
— He went back home. How did the meeting go ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9IADoloR7
— Start by drying off, we'll tell you later.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMMOUhYNkW
I head into the bathroom where I warm up quickly and quickly put on my pajamas, as well as a warm dressing gown, as I can't wait to see how the evening unfolds. I find my parents in the living room, where everyone, in an armchair, drinks coffee while waiting for me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3u3Y3NF3p
— So how did it go ? I said, sitting across from them on the couch.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKNYPrRbZk
— Difficult to say, my father grimaces. The principal had asked a doctor to come and answer the parents' questions. It calmed some when he assured their children were not at risk of breathing the same air as Jessy or touching him. But other parents are obtuse and want him to be expelled at all costs. They are simply scared to death, to the point of not understanding that AIDS is not caught like that.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ1bOUPwNW
— Mrs. Sutter spoke, saying how much she loves her son and that there is no risk in sharing his life since she has been doing it for a year without problem, my mother added. She is a very dignified and courageous woman. She told us you came to see her.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAobrUUkFA
— Indeed, I was looking for Jessy.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJT8Sj6DZiM
— Nina told us that you went looking for him after Chad’s visit. Did you find it ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCzh2cDPbJ
— Yes, and as far as you know, it’s over between Chad and me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG0zu1TIKY
Contrary to what I thought, my father doesn't seem surprised. My mother must have already told him about it. However, I don't like the look they exchange before my mother asks me : 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvmQmkLdhf
— Because of Jessy ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg92Du1siH8
— Yes and no. Jessy and I are friends. But let’s say that meeting him allowed me to open my eyes to Chad and his little world. I realized that, contrary to what I believed, I am not in love with him. I like him a lot but in a friendly way.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCGPqh7PNb
Once again my parents exchange this strange look which seems to mean that they are not at the end of their trouble with me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGx6B97pOMa
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The next morning, when I arrived near the school, I saw Jessy waiting outside on the sidewalk.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLopcRbxTJi
— Hi, how are you ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtgayBKeTL
He puts a hand to his heart.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67eIEKNigu
— Oh, you scared me ! 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKKot3TZkN
I burst out laughing.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzhc9lxjp7
— That’s for the scare you gave me last night ! 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVzGRAOR75
— It’s fair game, he smiled.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3WtLlpgpj
He stares at the large white building without taking a step towards it. Since I stayed in his arms the day before for several minutes, he no longer intimidates me as much, and this impression of knowing him for a long time has strengthened. I saw his fragility behind his anger, I saw his despair, but also his strength.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDHuWcmwiE
— Are you planning to come to class today ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxuXxqVXpM
— I don't know. After what happened yesterday...and then this meeting.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7pZOlyNoj
He huffs and then purses his lips, visibly uncomfortable.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjb4ji17eC
— Did your mother tell you ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vn3yNBUNT
— Yes, apparently the parents can't do anything against me, but there is always the possibility that they will contact the academy and file a complaint to have me fired. In fact, I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I gave up... 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJuAYa0Aq2
— No way ! 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Nv79gh0eW
Jessy looks at me, surprised.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlb1FBtnPi
— We'll go together and everything will go well, you'll see.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ePzAi97zI
— There are looks that are sometimes hard to bear, he admits to me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qkIx5N4Dm
However, I notice that he accompanies me towards high school.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oYc0tB1qr
— I believe that, unfortunately, you can never please everyone, so give a chance to know you to those who want it and forget the morons.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR8MxBgrSr
We enter the main hallway, students turn to look at us as I continue talking so that he focuses more on my voice than on the eyes focused on him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1LO15k1EL
— With time, there will be those who will realize who you really are and they will come to you, as for those who continue to criticize you, act as if they don't exist. They're the idiots, not you.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgb7tA42kJ
I meet the gaze of a tall guy, named Tyler, who grimaces when he hears me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVJTD2cKri
— Yes, complete idiots, I said again in a louder voice.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCMLZVy2MZ
Jessy gives me a grateful smile.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NS0GYveeU
— Oh, it’s getting bad, he murmurs.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6DNOeWM2k
I follow his gaze and see Chad striding towards us. He stands in front of Jessy and, after a few seconds of hesitation, offers his hand.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcXAov3abW
— I'm sorry for yesterday. For the fight…and everything else. I should never have listened to your conversation and above all I should never have repeated his secret. I'm really sorry.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI9G0UylXw
Jessy hesitates for a few seconds then squeezes his hand, nodding.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXnCHISehU
— Thanks.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClshFn0Qvc
His eyes move from Jessy to me, he doesn't seem to know how to behave around me anymore.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxz97hjVVkx
Around us, several students observe the scene. Chad is the most popular boy in school and I suspect that after this reconciling handshake, the attitude of some people will change.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4kAKC1SuC
He taps Jessy on the shoulder and says — See you later and walks away.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO228XBLUID
— It’s weird that Chad came to apologize. Did you ask him to do it ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4gjOJ87e9
— No, he did it alone, but you know, he’s like that. He is impulsive, but quickly regrets his outbursts... I feel, more than I see, Jessy looking at me in profile.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZBRxysw2P
— What ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkdXJJQvgO
I turn my head towards him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4Fs9z9bDq
— Why did you break up ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLCGQqEYa3
— We are too different.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNWr3B4O6P
I shrug my shoulders as if it were obvious.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bGbDlyIdC
— And are you okay ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBj4HEK2HQ
I see in his eyes that he really cares about me, it warms my heart.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWyz9e4D5Q
— Alright.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3GrogUAzD
A small smile appears at the corners of his lips.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7Se9mBBL3
— I know you don't like Chad very much, but erase that little smug look. (I smile in turn as the bell rings for the start of classes.) We're going to be late, come on.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7We3Tnx0a
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In the days that followed, things calmed down at the school. I can't say that Jessy goes unnoticed, but he is seen less as an outcast, which is already a small victory. At school, I was always the model student, collecting good grades. The super serious girl who has the teachers on her side. When I dated Chad, who is the most popular guy, I became popular and other girls tended to take their cues from me. So, even if there are a few who look away and whisper as she passes, most of the students are starting to accept Jessy. Since the evening on the bridge, we have spent a lot of time together. I prefer to be with him rather than with my pseudo friends : Pearl and especially Amy, who has turned her back on me since Chad and I separated.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3gniY73MP
Jessy has become my best friend. I can talk to him about everything without being afraid that he will judge me; however, he always gives me his honest opinion.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDZ4WLccqv
Jessy lived surrounded by family and friends before learning of his HIV status, but he told me that when those close to him learned of his illness, everyone turned their backs on him and, overnight, he found himself abandoned. Only his mother remained near him. By moving to Millisky where Mrs. Sutter found a job as a secretary in a bank, she hoped that her son would finally be able to return to a normal life.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZNM8b3U2O
The more I get to know him and the less I want this solitary life for him, it's like a kind of mission that I have set for myself. I may not be able to save him, but I can make him smile again. Also, I force him to accompany me to the cinema, to the theater, to fast food. Jessy complains, protests, sometimes drags his feet, but in the end, I always make him give in.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTAs0H5N3T
— You've lived locked up enough like that ! » is my key phrase to convince him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbU3P07DXC
He then rolls his eyes, huffing in exasperation while his cross— shaped earring swings to the rhythm of his breathing. Finally, he looks at me with a little smile which alone symbolizes my victory.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth0PVbo6nD
I am myself with him. We have a lot of tastes in common, we laugh at the same jokes, we talk about everything and nothing without ever getting tired of it. And when I'm not with him, he haunts my mind. He is the first person I think of in the morning when I wake up and the last in the evening before I go to sleep. In a few weeks, it has invaded my life and I hope more than anything that it continues as long as possible.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJ9TFy9RK7
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— Hello Mrs. Sutter, are you well ? I say happily as I enter the living room, accompanied by Jessy.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fY3wVDomL
Over the past few weeks, I've been spending so much time at the Sutters' that it feels like my second home. I really like Jessy's mother. Just by his look, we perceive his kindness and his strength. I am always welcome at their home and even though Jessy can come to my house whenever he wants, I understand that he is more comfortable in his environment.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtLAYvOmDO
— Good Meg and you ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWq7iR0f7u
— I’m fine.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFHtRTzQq0
Elise gets up while Jessy goes to turn on the television.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNtuHWaQbU
— What movie are you going to watch ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Muu5FnKbO
— Ghost ! With a big smile, I show the video tape I brought, asking him : Are you staying to watch it with us ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYuljBKHhS
— Unfortunately, I can't. I have not finished completing a loan application for a client. I’m going to go lock myself in my room with this file, she sighs.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwyr8koVXh
— Good luck, Mrs Sutter. 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7keC9Fts81
She takes a few steps away before turning back to me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhWme8PKXq
— Meg, for the hundredth time, call me Elise.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsjLHx231J
— I'll try, I promise.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3i3njlXBt
His mother leaves the room, leaving us alone.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbbqERFl79
— Pop corn ? Jessy asks me. I only have salty, I don't like sweet.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZcEk7B0qK
— That suits me very well.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xCnyyc1Gz
Once the popcorn is in a large bowl, we sit on the sofa in front of the television. Almost two hours later, I overcame my fear that he would send me away for daring to lean my head on Jessy's shoulder. To my great relief, he just smiled as he continued to watch the film. Now that it is ending, I can no longer contain my emotion and shed many tears.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUL1MRXcI9
— Don’t make fun, I said, seeing him laugh discreetly.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCbvEqpk41
I stand up and stretch before wiping my eyes.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0DZlvcJ9k
— Patrick Swayze is too sexy, I comment.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BR5bM4CFS
— Demi Moore is not to be outdone, he sighs, lowering his head.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBiT7oPZbq
He suddenly seems sad, which worries me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDMyBl5M9I
— Isn't that okay ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJP82hy5ow
— Yes, it’s just that… Do you believe that the afterlife exists ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d7xfWkIan
Still sitting on the couch, I turn to him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgahTFsQNw
— I think yes. However, I don't know if it's like in this movie.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuriIwm5ZMm
He adopts the same position as me, we find ourselves face to face.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6yvaMmrT0
— If that’s the case, I’ll make sure to let you know when I get there.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNcWWjsmG0
I wasn't expecting this response which took me completely by surprise. New uncontrollable tears flood my face. Reality suddenly reminds me. When I am with Jessy, I forget his illness because he is him, the boy I love with all my heart even if he knows nothing about my feelings. But there, faced with the virus, I find myself facing its imminent death. It’s a horrible thing that I try not to think about, as if that could prevent it from happening. I know this is stupid and despite all my efforts, AIDS still remains in the back of my mind. But hearing Jessy talk about his departure is upsetting. I would love to tell him that I am in love with him and that he has no right to leave me, ever. However, this is one of the subjects that I cannot discuss with him as I am sure that he would send me away again. He needs support, so I'm content to be his friend, secretly hoping that one day he'll realize that I mean more to him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERzFqb0Df0
— What do you have ? He is surprised.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUrtzsyspV
— I don't want you to die Jessy ! 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35j1jKCDhw
I burst into tears as I threw myself on his neck. Immediately, he hugs me back.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiznkKbwL6l
— Don’t cry, he whispers in my ear. I don't like seeing you sad.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCR7pDsOykr
His heart beating wildly against my chest reminds me that he is still very much alive and that as long as that is the case, we must not lose hope.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP26s3NRmxk
Staring at him, I detach myself from him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy2EsndyAn
— You're going to fight to stay alive, aren't you ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnZOmQzZIu
He strokes a lock of my hair that falls to the side of his face while observing me attentively. He seems to weigh the weight of his words.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUzhekS7Pw
Finally, he nods in agreement.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDr4LQaCQJ
— I have confidence in the future and in medicine. They will find a cure, it’s just a matter of time, I resume with confidence.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0EmEynJQJ
— Meg, we've already talked about this. You can't save me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GX7JGBeZ1
He lowers his head but I have time to see his eyes fill with tears.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9FGzolYZN
— I know... For the moment, but I can keep hope, I smile, wiping away the last tears that linger on my cheeks.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqh4zjEehE
Mrs. Sutter enters the room at this moment, breaking our moment of complicity.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTGVpmcRiZ
— Megan, are you crying ? She worries, looking at us in turn. And you too ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdUxcH4B9U
Jessy and I exchange a look before bursting out laughing under the surprised gaze of Elise.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEl3gO7DzP
— I’m going to go home, I announce, leaving the sofa.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xo4XlcHcV
— I'll take you back.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJXrC29I9E
— No, it is going to be fine. I need to get some fresh air.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZdbQBOGvV
Above all, I need to expel from my body this disorder that I am trying to control, and also to silence my fears about its future. Kindly, he will get me my coat. After putting it on, I turn to him and take him in my arms. For a few more seconds, I want to feel him against me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCD3Q5OlXHM
— Do me a favor, hold on to life, I whisper in his ear.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4W51ERqxQ4
Emu, he acquiesced.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihIqyGBqgZ
When I leave the warmth of his arms, I see Elise watching us from the kitchen, she wears a little knowing smile, which makes me understand that she knows perfectly well how I feel about her son.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK8E8721xk
— Good night, see you tomorrow ! I throw before going out.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3pKHwyv3V
I take a few steps while staring at the dark sky, inside I promise myself to do everything to save Jessy's life.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbWOEOAl9O
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Since Jessy stubbornly refuses to tell me about his virus, during the days that follow, I go around bookstores looking for medical journals. At that time, when AIDS was terrifying the population, I had hoped to learn more, unfortunately the articles were still rare and the possible treatments even more so. Everyone repeats the instructions to follow in order not to be contaminated but none of them informs me about the solutions to overcome this cursed disease.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ281Y8eVOzA
— What is all this ? My mother asks me when I return home, my arms full of magazines and books.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBRgGmC7vt
— I'm finding out about AIDS, I admit, placing my load on the kitchen table.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBQVFEmbdL
— Meg, I know you care about Jessy but... Don't waste your life for him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K7cXdc2ap
My mother's words felt like a stab to the heart.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZqSKEpP7N
— That's not what I meant, she continues, realizing my fear.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth8SGWD9OZ
Hand on her forehead, she shakes her head as I grab my books again, determined to put an end to this discussion.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXETSefT7I
— Megan, you are 16 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjLOCDvhvP
— And not Jessy, right ? ! I get angry.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwEUIR6Bip
My mother looks down.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabJ4XZPCta
— That's not what I said. I just think you're too young to have all these worries. You should be able to enjoy your teenage years completely carefree.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkuho0sq1l
— I would have liked it too, Mom, believe me I would have preferred that Jessy wasn’t sick. But he is and if I can help him in any way I will be there for him. I realize there's not much I can do, however, maybe one of these books will talk about a treatment and I can tell Jessy about it.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8bX7Dvuth
My mother nods weakly.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cLXckIO2A
— I just ask you to be careful. Don't get too involved.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprJ0zvIoBB
— It's already too late for that, I emphasize. If it was Dad who was sick, wouldn't you do what you could to help him ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGlsj5PJKt
I turn on my heel, ready to leave the room when my mother asks me : 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZp7W93eFu
— You love him, don’t you ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjiiPgv51n
I don't answer. I lock my gaze on my mother's, trying to make her understand all the feelings that are inside me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLusUnb9gy2
— Please don’t tell Jessy about these books, I ask her before going out.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKRGgtEBhd
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62Hjsv5kW4
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHlEyesFGA
— Good evening, Megan, Mrs. Sutter calls me from the kitchen when I arrive at their house.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRJmRzD5hS
— Good evening.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mcbjkRhUU
— Jessy hasn’t come home yet.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsy7LR2SWx2
I look up at his mother with worried eyes. It's 8 p.m., classes ended several hours ago.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqTzFGJDP0
— Don’t worry, she reassures me. You know that his doctor advised him to go to the AIDS center, there was a meeting this evening. He had no desire to go, but I think it will do him good to talk to people who are going through the same thing as him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8yvsyuZJF
— Did he leave there complaining ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QGjPEgQkh
— You know him well enough to know that he complains a lot, she said, smiling.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5ht17hZ2B
— When he is with me, he is rather...481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2abfwW8Cq
Hearing the front door open, I don't finish my sentence.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYESAT4L65
— Yes, but you are special to him, Elise whispers to me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdWZ7Cen7H
I remain speechless, wondering what she means by that.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6gTRa3igb
— Sorry to be late.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX09ftndTmE
Jessy's face is tense, he seems upset. The evening could be long if he remains in this state of mind.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtC1ldokwy
— How was it ? His mother immediately questions him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6HEm90Puw
Jessy glances at me quickly before responding coldly : 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdMHdHTuRN
— I don't want to talk about it.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFvWb2XNMx
Mrs. Sutter looks at us in turn before announcing that she is going to watch television in her room so that we can watch the screen in the living room. Jessy walks around the bar and goes to help herself to some fruit juice.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiWWJxmREb
— You want some ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlHqZIsuyJ
His tone is less cold, but still full of anger that he tries to contain.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAT1VQkJbNb
— Yes, thanks.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUBPnAemGl
He purses his lips before asking me : 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx78Xwe1OsL
— What movie did you bring this evening ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj3STkqIPe
The week before, I had brought the filmGhost which caused us both to end up in tears. This time, I chose to take a lighter one, but still with my favorite actor. Proudly, I take the video tape out of my backpack and show it to him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUu1wGpRjGX
— Dirty Dancing ! 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuc2q56yLW
He rolls his eyes, but I sense that he is holding back a smile.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivbT4EQad5
— You and your Patrick Swayze ! I know you think he's the most handsome guy in the world, but your obsession with him is starting to turn into an obsession.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbUEgAWNDV
I pretend to look shocked, which makes him laugh.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOezi8GT02
— It’s true that he’s hot, but in my ranking of the most handsome guys, he only occupies second place.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKzToBsrqo
— Oh, my God, he whispers with a hint of despair. Which other actor are you planning to pester me with when you're done making me watch all his films ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRbDMmlizx
Jessy sighs, making a face. His good mood has returned, which makes me happy. I don't want to ask him about the meeting; If he wants to talk to me about it, he will do it alone. I just want to take his mind off things and see him smile. I get up to turn on the VCR while he puts away the bottle of orange juice.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxL6dZNour
— No others, I promise. For me, the hottest guy isn't an actor.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjaRNYT31A
— Ah good ? Who is it ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFCi9QjrCd
He comes to join me on the sofa, frowning.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XCKw50i5Q
— He’s someone I see every day.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDaX0O4CnV
The movie starts and I shut up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my friend racking his brain to figure out who I'm talking about.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbv8UAErqPH
— Your father ? he asks after a few minutes.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYJLbavBz3
Without taking my eyes off the screen, I shake my head and smile. It amuses me to see him searching.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5me2HXDxE
— Someone from high school ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxNaeDKQPn
J'acquiesce481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4QQVJB5nx
— Chad ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExr3gWAN40
A hint of anger and disbelief filters into his voice.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3gKkELMwV
— No. Jessy, do you want to watch the movie or tell me all the names of the guys at school ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVB6szi0Xe3
— Sorry, but no matter how hard I look, I can’t see who…481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHuT4ibNlq
— It's you.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZQG4f7UzK
I didn't mean to tell him, it just came out, and now I feel myself blushing as I keep my eyes glued to the television. The words have barely passed my lips before Jessy chokes on swallowing and starts coughing. He gets up to go drink some water.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZG7VG8P6K4
— Well, that makes you feel, I said mockingly, pausing the movie.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSeMIZpamf
— You got me, he says from the kitchen.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57988cEcaL
I turn around on the couch to look at him.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvwYsv9Vyf
— It’s the truth, Jessy, I’m not making you walk.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxyEYJcepP
He comes back to sit next to me on the sofa. His cheeks are red as he places a kiss on my forehead.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgVbLGojET
— It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up. I love you.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmHkqt7Dou
That's not what I'm trying to do, I really mean it, yet my heart immediately races : he adores me. 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFXoTPwhVX
— Is it true ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvPmZ3eucS
— Of course. You're my best friend, Meg.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoijysKbBL
Oh… Friend ? My heart calms down quickly.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULOjuDulny
— Aren’t you in good spirits ? Is it because of the meeting ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0672gLpxr
Your mother told me about it, I add in front of his frown.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSi3bW3ZnG
— Yeah… it was depressing. Hearing all these patients talk about their fears… it brought me back to my own.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9rJntxTfd
— Did you speak with them ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3qo71IGIO
— No, I listened to them. It’s strange to arrive in this center where I don’t know anyone and where they invite me to confide.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqahPvVePZm
— If you want, next time, can I accompany you ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNckrOjDFpX
I suggest, but I already know the answer.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxOVUIYgSW
— Non ! 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJxWgCLgTa
His tone is harsher than I thought. However, he softens very quickly.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORQoWWaQLd
— That’s nice, but no. I don't want you to come into this part of my life.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF6JGEstCk
— For what ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJGGFroiL4
Anger reappears in his eyes, he lowers his head.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgDyjVKcor
— Because you are too important to me for me to drag you into this world of illness with me.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUQ9WgvMmu
— Jessy… 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUiPLtPOsb
— No, Meg. I'm willing to give in when you force my hand to leave this house, but when it comes to AIDS, I won't change my mind, he said firmly, turning his gaze back to the television.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0oJJXhOCq
— OK as you want.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYortOP3M3b
I sigh as he resumes playing the movie. After a few minutes of silence, he glances at me and whispers : 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvof8e2IJAm
— Are you mad at me ? 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRL4z4Udew4
I can't help but smile and lean my head on his shoulder like I've gotten used to doing when we watch movies together.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFzZq6BPIk
— No, it’s your choice.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡResqEEIPsA
He places another kiss on my forehead. I whisper to him without taking my eyes off Patrick Swayze : 481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjVsV7pDgg
— Me too, I like you.481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiohzOyhgwu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hf04NSZAn
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUoJzm4wak
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNwRoI80hH
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLBinmIxjJ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMTpwREvnu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2dg2fcUhJ
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