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For long minutes, I stroke Jessy's wet hair, trying to soothe his pain, his fears. When he straightens his face, he seems ashamed to have cried in my arms. Delicately, I wipe away his last tears, surprised that he lets me do it, and smile at him to reassure him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bSnks6rbt
We set off on our way back in torrential rain, yet we walk peacefully, savoring the fact of being together. I don't care if it rains as long as I'm with him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnOqAcqG0H
— Anyway, we're already soaked, I answer Jessy when he asks me if I want to run to get to his house faster. It'll be OK ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHygjHJOmx
— Yeah, I think so.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2LoNvV7xf
— Jessy, please promise me you’ll never let yourself fall into the void like that again. I got the fright of my life.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2evkFy7DD
Hands in his pockets, he shrugs his shoulders and breathes deeply before telling me : 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTavgeZiTJv
— Promise. Why do you care about me so much ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUHw4Rj4q9
His question makes my heart beat faster. I'm not ready to tell him the feelings he inspires in me. I have to analyze them first and try to find out what he feels. So even though I feel my cheeks turning pink, I answer him evasively.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jvHwRPRwk
— Why not ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zPUfblTuy
— When people learn about AIDS, they turn their backs on me. This is why my mother and I came to live here. Even my father-in-law couldn't stand me living under his roof anymore.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfjGkmho5T
— There are morons everywhere, I whisper. Jessy, I like you. I'm not going to start ignoring you because you have a health problem.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8O8qXCVoB
— Thank you, he murmurs, pursing his lips. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean to be so rude.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrxXeYA6Rp
His unexpected apology really makes me happy. When Jessy stops telling me off, I see in him the boy I had guessed at first glance : A good guy to whom difficult things happen. I think that's why he always tries to show an angry face, he has suffered so much that he doesn't want people to perceive his fragility.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWwdKIGTX0
— It's forgotten. By the way, I met your mother. She seems very nice.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA60Rn0eW2O
Despite our slow walk, we already arrive in front of his house.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUDIxMF5I5
— She is. Do you want me to take you home ? I can borrow his car.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5Oxyeg9et
— No, it is going to be fine. I don't want to get the seats soggy, I smile. See you tomorrow ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPhtS3xcG5
I am happy to see him nod with a big smile. And as I walk away, I realize I've never been closer to him than I am tonight.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JMCiAEBm4
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It's almost 11 p.m. when I get home, completely soaked. My parents are waiting for me, impatient and worried.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmq8PrhZIUy
— Finally, here you are, my father roared. Look at you, you're good at wringing ! 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjAnAQr9v3
— Were you with Jessy ? My mother asks in her usual soft voice.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxC3ipTMo94
I nod, shivering from the cold.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigvxfwblii
— We spoke with Mrs. Sutter at the meeting. She told us that her son had been missing for hours and that she had no idea where he might be. She was very worried about him, my father told me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8Ixvf64Vq
— He went back home. How did the meeting go ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiaDE12BxS
— Start by drying off, we'll tell you later.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsOvbm3o0T
I head into the bathroom where I warm up quickly and quickly put on my pajamas, as well as a warm dressing gown, as I can't wait to see how the evening unfolds. I find my parents in the living room, where everyone, in an armchair, drinks coffee while waiting for me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEFquCqPhQ
— So how did it go ? I said, sitting across from them on the couch.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnO5qJh5Cp
— Difficult to say, my father grimaces. The principal had asked a doctor to come and answer the parents' questions. It calmed some when he assured their children were not at risk of breathing the same air as Jessy or touching him. But other parents are obtuse and want him to be expelled at all costs. They are simply scared to death, to the point of not understanding that AIDS is not caught like that.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPfrKwJt4l
— Mrs. Sutter spoke, saying how much she loves her son and that there is no risk in sharing his life since she has been doing it for a year without problem, my mother added. She is a very dignified and courageous woman. She told us you came to see her.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j50BTQ7Ds
— Indeed, I was looking for Jessy.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmRMwKDkxc
— Nina told us that you went looking for him after Chad’s visit. Did you find it ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOLkuuqOPS
— Yes, and as far as you know, it’s over between Chad and me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSR0tbYE0NZ
Contrary to what I thought, my father doesn't seem surprised. My mother must have already told him about it. However, I don't like the look they exchange before my mother asks me : 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qgc04DH8X
— Because of Jessy ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZFyLq1U1N
— Yes and no. Jessy and I are friends. But let’s say that meeting him allowed me to open my eyes to Chad and his little world. I realized that, contrary to what I believed, I am not in love with him. I like him a lot but in a friendly way.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7q1Apo45xk
Once again my parents exchange this strange look which seems to mean that they are not at the end of their trouble with me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpyxIV4gKQ
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The next morning, when I arrived near the school, I saw Jessy waiting outside on the sidewalk.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSfCMMB77V
— Hi, how are you ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ0jSfa2dU
He puts a hand to his heart.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fjZ15uGoJ
— Oh, you scared me ! 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FymLj0UsP
I burst out laughing.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYMelUYzSk
— That’s for the scare you gave me last night ! 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BcvFP5iZz
— It’s fair game, he smiled.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdMbfCOf4Z
He stares at the large white building without taking a step towards it. Since I stayed in his arms the day before for several minutes, he no longer intimidates me as much, and this impression of knowing him for a long time has strengthened. I saw his fragility behind his anger, I saw his despair, but also his strength.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDAHoK4j4v
— Are you planning to come to class today ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOuerhqZIJ
— I don't know. After what happened yesterday...and then this meeting.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdSDvt3usr
He huffs and then purses his lips, visibly uncomfortable.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocIxuwHfF2
— Did your mother tell you ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRj4gh7Tj9
— Yes, apparently the parents can't do anything against me, but there is always the possibility that they will contact the academy and file a complaint to have me fired. In fact, I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I gave up... 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1O3b9bDWq
— No way ! 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIMzT7ESsB
Jessy looks at me, surprised.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JqmfJ59D7
— We'll go together and everything will go well, you'll see.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9reTEp48qD
— There are looks that are sometimes hard to bear, he admits to me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDivPfLGHh
However, I notice that he accompanies me towards high school.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoXPs4PfXj
— I believe that, unfortunately, you can never please everyone, so give a chance to know you to those who want it and forget the morons.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6ldLGNAxa
We enter the main hallway, students turn to look at us as I continue talking so that he focuses more on my voice than on the eyes focused on him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOghKjP4wo
— With time, there will be those who will realize who you really are and they will come to you, as for those who continue to criticize you, act as if they don't exist. They're the idiots, not you.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLbFphaIWi
I meet the gaze of a tall guy, named Tyler, who grimaces when he hears me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyMgoMOfnN
— Yes, complete idiots, I said again in a louder voice.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCLU3BEHWI
Jessy gives me a grateful smile.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVSL3FSpsB
— Oh, it’s getting bad, he murmurs.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2S0vJ2N4xh
I follow his gaze and see Chad striding towards us. He stands in front of Jessy and, after a few seconds of hesitation, offers his hand.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jDrncVvgk
— I'm sorry for yesterday. For the fight…and everything else. I should never have listened to your conversation and above all I should never have repeated his secret. I'm really sorry.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebUnjNIvV0
Jessy hesitates for a few seconds then squeezes his hand, nodding.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuESsLw9m7G
— Thanks.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0yXKrxktW
His eyes move from Jessy to me, he doesn't seem to know how to behave around me anymore.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2j6gZi3vsF
Around us, several students observe the scene. Chad is the most popular boy in school and I suspect that after this reconciling handshake, the attitude of some people will change.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx84O9a4ibm
He taps Jessy on the shoulder and says — See you later and walks away.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2VNrhOuqb
— It’s weird that Chad came to apologize. Did you ask him to do it ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaGhoFxvc9
— No, he did it alone, but you know, he’s like that. He is impulsive, but quickly regrets his outbursts... I feel, more than I see, Jessy looking at me in profile.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4iRZ9hAa3
— What ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeA0U0QAllh
I turn my head towards him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLplV6KRsW
— Why did you break up ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvqJIfY3we
— We are too different.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9xfvHZrc3
I shrug my shoulders as if it were obvious.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuPmfGQMvq
— And are you okay ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzA16ANcXv
I see in his eyes that he really cares about me, it warms my heart.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomgIgMnW6H
— Alright.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfnJB9w76V
A small smile appears at the corners of his lips.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwuHhGYOWY
— I know you don't like Chad very much, but erase that little smug look. (I smile in turn as the bell rings for the start of classes.) We're going to be late, come on.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtscHbg7bKT
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In the days that followed, things calmed down at the school. I can't say that Jessy goes unnoticed, but he is seen less as an outcast, which is already a small victory. At school, I was always the model student, collecting good grades. The super serious girl who has the teachers on her side. When I dated Chad, who is the most popular guy, I became popular and other girls tended to take their cues from me. So, even if there are a few who look away and whisper as she passes, most of the students are starting to accept Jessy. Since the evening on the bridge, we have spent a lot of time together. I prefer to be with him rather than with my pseudo friends : Pearl and especially Amy, who has turned her back on me since Chad and I separated.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDlKnSIM86
Jessy has become my best friend. I can talk to him about everything without being afraid that he will judge me; however, he always gives me his honest opinion.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yuLCJKQeu
Jessy lived surrounded by family and friends before learning of his HIV status, but he told me that when those close to him learned of his illness, everyone turned their backs on him and, overnight, he found himself abandoned. Only his mother remained near him. By moving to Millisky where Mrs. Sutter found a job as a secretary in a bank, she hoped that her son would finally be able to return to a normal life.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKL9ILP19WM
The more I get to know him and the less I want this solitary life for him, it's like a kind of mission that I have set for myself. I may not be able to save him, but I can make him smile again. Also, I force him to accompany me to the cinema, to the theater, to fast food. Jessy complains, protests, sometimes drags his feet, but in the end, I always make him give in.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm49KEFPwZ
— You've lived locked up enough like that ! » is my key phrase to convince him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdRDmcipTD
He then rolls his eyes, huffing in exasperation while his cross— shaped earring swings to the rhythm of his breathing. Finally, he looks at me with a little smile which alone symbolizes my victory.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1o2zFgCttW
I am myself with him. We have a lot of tastes in common, we laugh at the same jokes, we talk about everything and nothing without ever getting tired of it. And when I'm not with him, he haunts my mind. He is the first person I think of in the morning when I wake up and the last in the evening before I go to sleep. In a few weeks, it has invaded my life and I hope more than anything that it continues as long as possible.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1V0lFKo9o
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— Hello Mrs. Sutter, are you well ? I say happily as I enter the living room, accompanied by Jessy.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGdugjlQ03
Over the past few weeks, I've been spending so much time at the Sutters' that it feels like my second home. I really like Jessy's mother. Just by his look, we perceive his kindness and his strength. I am always welcome at their home and even though Jessy can come to my house whenever he wants, I understand that he is more comfortable in his environment.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwp4a0eFOsA
— Good Meg and you ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6qx5uQDAl
— I’m fine.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhE7aFzu6I
Elise gets up while Jessy goes to turn on the television.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObycUMbCC4
— What movie are you going to watch ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPyUYZvPeN
— Ghost ! With a big smile, I show the video tape I brought, asking him : Are you staying to watch it with us ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXzDj5NFc3
— Unfortunately, I can't. I have not finished completing a loan application for a client. I’m going to go lock myself in my room with this file, she sighs.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0cOVeUoPA
— Good luck, Mrs Sutter. 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxlj0pUjGx
She takes a few steps away before turning back to me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpijClY6EDn
— Meg, for the hundredth time, call me Elise.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JEPZ3Ep0n
— I'll try, I promise.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsDM4fD9gm
His mother leaves the room, leaving us alone.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlpG4GZ3rq
— Pop corn ? Jessy asks me. I only have salty, I don't like sweet.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nCJSreVzb
— That suits me very well.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAueC8puBtE
Once the popcorn is in a large bowl, we sit on the sofa in front of the television. Almost two hours later, I overcame my fear that he would send me away for daring to lean my head on Jessy's shoulder. To my great relief, he just smiled as he continued to watch the film. Now that it is ending, I can no longer contain my emotion and shed many tears.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4x5cmj0rf
— Don’t make fun, I said, seeing him laugh discreetly.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4JbJBTXpc
I stand up and stretch before wiping my eyes.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWeFZrXr8f
— Patrick Swayze is too sexy, I comment.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10ccQMWymc
— Demi Moore is not to be outdone, he sighs, lowering his head.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoeMzK1nDa
He suddenly seems sad, which worries me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVHI0ldW8G
— Isn't that okay ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4sKD4m7bM
— Yes, it’s just that… Do you believe that the afterlife exists ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxRCYsF0oh
Still sitting on the couch, I turn to him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXrfu1VfP5
— I think yes. However, I don't know if it's like in this movie.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcts4MMryk
He adopts the same position as me, we find ourselves face to face.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3wQ8CGA2A
— If that’s the case, I’ll make sure to let you know when I get there.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5fzeYXGpE
I wasn't expecting this response which took me completely by surprise. New uncontrollable tears flood my face. Reality suddenly reminds me. When I am with Jessy, I forget his illness because he is him, the boy I love with all my heart even if he knows nothing about my feelings. But there, faced with the virus, I find myself facing its imminent death. It’s a horrible thing that I try not to think about, as if that could prevent it from happening. I know this is stupid and despite all my efforts, AIDS still remains in the back of my mind. But hearing Jessy talk about his departure is upsetting. I would love to tell him that I am in love with him and that he has no right to leave me, ever. However, this is one of the subjects that I cannot discuss with him as I am sure that he would send me away again. He needs support, so I'm content to be his friend, secretly hoping that one day he'll realize that I mean more to him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyZPh9llOV
— What do you have ? He is surprised.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEI3ccq4Dr
— I don't want you to die Jessy ! 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRI8t99vh2
I burst into tears as I threw myself on his neck. Immediately, he hugs me back.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJSLcbR4xz
— Don’t cry, he whispers in my ear. I don't like seeing you sad.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6h8NQ3gvq
His heart beating wildly against my chest reminds me that he is still very much alive and that as long as that is the case, we must not lose hope.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS21Put0RA
Staring at him, I detach myself from him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYRclvoXu3
— You're going to fight to stay alive, aren't you ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6binE3uIzf
He strokes a lock of my hair that falls to the side of his face while observing me attentively. He seems to weigh the weight of his words.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfncYuNc83
Finally, he nods in agreement.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVZo60zykc
— I have confidence in the future and in medicine. They will find a cure, it’s just a matter of time, I resume with confidence.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgLrYz9Gml
— Meg, we've already talked about this. You can't save me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFnAOeSbqP
He lowers his head but I have time to see his eyes fill with tears.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvHONoOUKb
— I know... For the moment, but I can keep hope, I smile, wiping away the last tears that linger on my cheeks.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5spqPSAAFs
Mrs. Sutter enters the room at this moment, breaking our moment of complicity.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey0QkWlhBM
— Megan, are you crying ? She worries, looking at us in turn. And you too ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFAhaLHEU5
Jessy and I exchange a look before bursting out laughing under the surprised gaze of Elise.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqe3M0AZrX
— I’m going to go home, I announce, leaving the sofa.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB64PqfgxOG
— I'll take you back.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jCoA9Jh0U
— No, it is going to be fine. I need to get some fresh air.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hYJzartpo
Above all, I need to expel from my body this disorder that I am trying to control, and also to silence my fears about its future. Kindly, he will get me my coat. After putting it on, I turn to him and take him in my arms. For a few more seconds, I want to feel him against me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIk4OIKIlP
— Do me a favor, hold on to life, I whisper in his ear.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrloa3OUiD
Emu, he acquiesced.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtM29R4srqh
When I leave the warmth of his arms, I see Elise watching us from the kitchen, she wears a little knowing smile, which makes me understand that she knows perfectly well how I feel about her son.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZBvgG51LV
— Good night, see you tomorrow ! I throw before going out.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXsA1wieVG
I take a few steps while staring at the dark sky, inside I promise myself to do everything to save Jessy's life.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGSwNwUZbO
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Since Jessy stubbornly refuses to tell me about his virus, during the days that follow, I go around bookstores looking for medical journals. At that time, when AIDS was terrifying the population, I had hoped to learn more, unfortunately the articles were still rare and the possible treatments even more so. Everyone repeats the instructions to follow in order not to be contaminated but none of them informs me about the solutions to overcome this cursed disease.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDFr3dCaeS
— What is all this ? My mother asks me when I return home, my arms full of magazines and books.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vtwsfcI3Z
— I'm finding out about AIDS, I admit, placing my load on the kitchen table.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXitOeyUuW
— Meg, I know you care about Jessy but... Don't waste your life for him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZku5uNcsB
My mother's words felt like a stab to the heart.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI47TSHDP53
— That's not what I meant, she continues, realizing my fear.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL77IiuhCIl
Hand on her forehead, she shakes her head as I grab my books again, determined to put an end to this discussion.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8wTiCKeVk
— Megan, you are 16 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoq0ndOyou
— And not Jessy, right ? ! I get angry.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0XLGGMoRV
My mother looks down.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37d7WroCLC
— That's not what I said. I just think you're too young to have all these worries. You should be able to enjoy your teenage years completely carefree.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjKlW0hYtj
— I would have liked it too, Mom, believe me I would have preferred that Jessy wasn’t sick. But he is and if I can help him in any way I will be there for him. I realize there's not much I can do, however, maybe one of these books will talk about a treatment and I can tell Jessy about it.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbvMovK0g1
My mother nods weakly.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcbYoLVpOQ
— I just ask you to be careful. Don't get too involved.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX502tOCUMG
— It's already too late for that, I emphasize. If it was Dad who was sick, wouldn't you do what you could to help him ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90Gvfrq0nW
I turn on my heel, ready to leave the room when my mother asks me : 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuMyUYuFuh
— You love him, don’t you ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWPmDomf2T
I don't answer. I lock my gaze on my mother's, trying to make her understand all the feelings that are inside me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcIg7F8IpG
— Please don’t tell Jessy about these books, I ask her before going out.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGMj5BJXHV
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyum4tdIyRt
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp5O8FVawO
— Good evening, Megan, Mrs. Sutter calls me from the kitchen when I arrive at their house.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8lHsffDsL
— Good evening.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfJaDMWDVZ
— Jessy hasn’t come home yet.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViHZmMPqKY
I look up at his mother with worried eyes. It's 8 p.m., classes ended several hours ago.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOptC8FSPj
— Don’t worry, she reassures me. You know that his doctor advised him to go to the AIDS center, there was a meeting this evening. He had no desire to go, but I think it will do him good to talk to people who are going through the same thing as him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPx230V1VO
— Did he leave there complaining ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7a5zeU7DY
— You know him well enough to know that he complains a lot, she said, smiling.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuLRoXvPEa
— When he is with me, he is rather...362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWe7ViDn5C
Hearing the front door open, I don't finish my sentence.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiJcDYKhV0
— Yes, but you are special to him, Elise whispers to me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWgwYeASwC
I remain speechless, wondering what she means by that.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchY3QIurJQ
— Sorry to be late.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4NpwKRuWL
Jessy's face is tense, he seems upset. The evening could be long if he remains in this state of mind.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0EHKhVNIZ
— How was it ? His mother immediately questions him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlpu24VYj2
Jessy glances at me quickly before responding coldly : 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtcYTKRKUp
— I don't want to talk about it.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeT1oFK9zZ
Mrs. Sutter looks at us in turn before announcing that she is going to watch television in her room so that we can watch the screen in the living room. Jessy walks around the bar and goes to help herself to some fruit juice.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul71m9IL4W
— You want some ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bi7ibeiK2
His tone is less cold, but still full of anger that he tries to contain.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zAC0UULyl
— Yes, thanks.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4I1QcGCq3
He purses his lips before asking me : 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRwzTr75wO
— What movie did you bring this evening ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwmGuBGexM
The week before, I had brought the filmGhost which caused us both to end up in tears. This time, I chose to take a lighter one, but still with my favorite actor. Proudly, I take the video tape out of my backpack and show it to him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNM3pQ17doG
— Dirty Dancing ! 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsg420IXbwz
He rolls his eyes, but I sense that he is holding back a smile.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYUuwXOXlV
— You and your Patrick Swayze ! I know you think he's the most handsome guy in the world, but your obsession with him is starting to turn into an obsession.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXCq0Bxnbf
I pretend to look shocked, which makes him laugh.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GVqI4NQpz
— It’s true that he’s hot, but in my ranking of the most handsome guys, he only occupies second place.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISiTgNeNkn
— Oh, my God, he whispers with a hint of despair. Which other actor are you planning to pester me with when you're done making me watch all his films ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3VyfiL5ak
Jessy sighs, making a face. His good mood has returned, which makes me happy. I don't want to ask him about the meeting; If he wants to talk to me about it, he will do it alone. I just want to take his mind off things and see him smile. I get up to turn on the VCR while he puts away the bottle of orange juice.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhgZfYD2Hv
— No others, I promise. For me, the hottest guy isn't an actor.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYi9jha64w
— Ah good ? Who is it ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWpB89JYeA
He comes to join me on the sofa, frowning.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6I2NdvhUG
— He’s someone I see every day.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqG5l8Fs60N
The movie starts and I shut up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my friend racking his brain to figure out who I'm talking about.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSHNI8ufFt
— Your father ? he asks after a few minutes.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8H3p166kb8
Without taking my eyes off the screen, I shake my head and smile. It amuses me to see him searching.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuYGAqVDeK
— Someone from high school ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq585o8DpBX
J'acquiesce362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowOmvbsWfx
— Chad ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnhotDAZfq
A hint of anger and disbelief filters into his voice.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXVkfoWQ0L
— No. Jessy, do you want to watch the movie or tell me all the names of the guys at school ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVXQSJRSW5
— Sorry, but no matter how hard I look, I can’t see who…362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMXM1TrSkj
— It's you.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTWuCKJkzA
I didn't mean to tell him, it just came out, and now I feel myself blushing as I keep my eyes glued to the television. The words have barely passed my lips before Jessy chokes on swallowing and starts coughing. He gets up to go drink some water.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0D0sF52yC
— Well, that makes you feel, I said mockingly, pausing the movie.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV83TOwmYMb
— You got me, he says from the kitchen.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw18NlMq3c9
I turn around on the couch to look at him.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2DFr4GSSb
— It’s the truth, Jessy, I’m not making you walk.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68g3dYEj3m
He comes back to sit next to me on the sofa. His cheeks are red as he places a kiss on my forehead.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAS6Bswk1FO
— It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up. I love you.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbpU3UDrz0
That's not what I'm trying to do, I really mean it, yet my heart immediately races : he adores me. 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwu9EYkKUVg
— Is it true ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRmALxaloy
— Of course. You're my best friend, Meg.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJF55RKsSD6
Oh… Friend ? My heart calms down quickly.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKJFV6WBP3
— Aren’t you in good spirits ? Is it because of the meeting ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkU7qDIRq3
Your mother told me about it, I add in front of his frown.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzpZ8sHXiB
— Yeah… it was depressing. Hearing all these patients talk about their fears… it brought me back to my own.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sMNFYzF2h
— Did you speak with them ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsGuloocGV
— No, I listened to them. It’s strange to arrive in this center where I don’t know anyone and where they invite me to confide.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbMP1OSfVw
— If you want, next time, can I accompany you ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDycHT6Q2Z
I suggest, but I already know the answer.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyx8tgZCKmz
— Non ! 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GEx1uuq8Q
His tone is harsher than I thought. However, he softens very quickly.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDSUYHk6Na
— That’s nice, but no. I don't want you to come into this part of my life.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4uKEyCrIS
— For what ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjBJpJSWTR
Anger reappears in his eyes, he lowers his head.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSYYZ1vqkI
— Because you are too important to me for me to drag you into this world of illness with me.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yuStz6GfZ
— Jessy… 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBIohYtiIv
— No, Meg. I'm willing to give in when you force my hand to leave this house, but when it comes to AIDS, I won't change my mind, he said firmly, turning his gaze back to the television.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWM0eqyJfj
— OK as you want.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdUvkVEhuX
I sigh as he resumes playing the movie. After a few minutes of silence, he glances at me and whispers : 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV1Wvlhhjl
— Are you mad at me ? 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8oXBBeoF7
I can't help but smile and lean my head on his shoulder like I've gotten used to doing when we watch movies together.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnv5SEFepfs
— No, it’s your choice.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9BtqdSk02
He places another kiss on my forehead. I whisper to him without taking my eyes off Patrick Swayze : 362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwEGMXA2kS
— Me too, I like you.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5Ip9a9nFL
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DzN8qWlf9
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2yyLdFItd
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfLtOxaubs
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0kGHUNCpA
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLMHj84MSB
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF73Bfly3kR
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