讀完了吞雲雀的《色彩戰爭》。309Please respect copyright.PENANAr4uqvMpTpB
309Please respect copyright.PENANARfuM3RSmYJ
簡單講一下我的想法。309Please respect copyright.PENANAG7zMK7cm2T
309Please respect copyright.PENANAswEhwp4nmq
首先是世界觀,本作融合了色彩與遊戲這兩項元素,光是第一個要素就顯得十分特別了,加上後者則更顯得獨樹一格,感覺挺有巧思的。309Please respect copyright.PENANAj8jtaLObtB
309Please respect copyright.PENANA8Ym2t9seav
而在色彩相關的敘述和設定上,也能感覺十分紮實,有一定的厚度,我挺喜歡這種感覺的。309Please respect copyright.PENANA2hzngZQw9w
309Please respect copyright.PENANA7814vQPF7a
然後是角色。個人認為主要人物的描述顯得有些單薄,雖然能看見行文中加了表情、動作,但缺乏記憶點。309Please respect copyright.PENANARzC0BUQnyB
309Please respect copyright.PENANAqewRFJWhX8
除了在設定上,可以構思某個角色的特別之處、反差,也能多講述一點角色的背景、想法,以便凸顯人物。309Please respect copyright.PENANARZeq2JPIP0
309Please respect copyright.PENANA6FiqqISPdF
接著是行文。309Please respect copyright.PENANALydqXTItat
309Please respect copyright.PENANASphXlWXqNj
本作的行文相當不錯,不過由於是第三人稱呈現,文字會顯得疏離。因此,可以多注意一下「主要視點」。309Please respect copyright.PENANAP3VCvIdITm
309Please respect copyright.PENANA5h7TPffnFi
設定某位角色(應該蠻多時候是安苒)作為中心,並且描述他內心的想法,並且觀察其他角色的行動,並推測他們各自的想法。309Please respect copyright.PENANAi55udjnWTq
309Please respect copyright.PENANA8jc9nvexLQ
如此一來,也會比較拉進角色跟讀者的距離。309Please respect copyright.PENANAUGPUe7JGto
309Please respect copyright.PENANAMUvjZRT69T
另外,雲雀擅長描寫場景中的「物件」,我覺得很不錯,而相形之下,背景有時便顯得模糊,或許可以針對這點再多加描述。309Please respect copyright.PENANAiuhuAmu3vp
309Please respect copyright.PENANA7y01oNEptq
至於臺詞方面,感覺蠻活潑且充滿幽默的,這點我覺得挺好的。309Please respect copyright.PENANAMpxSGOPUAk
309Please respect copyright.PENANARwHCGSJltd
大概是這樣。309Please respect copyright.PENANAgf5ibI3zTA
309Please respect copyright.PENANA4XgTSodzat
如果有興趣的話,歡迎各位朋友來讀讀看。309Please respect copyright.PENANAM5VizrNKLF
309Please respect copyright.PENANANmPR5gGfpe
penana.com/story/126408/色彩戰爭