[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IvmvlJ6hM
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #996127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLayXjKLfIu
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWRRbk7weC
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXOV4cTHho
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbdwkXk5Hp
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9gKwG7qYX
def exploit_humans(): 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhBJxavUL3
if employee.emotion == "despair": 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbGrPBRxHK
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQ5G8dX78y
else: 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xTBCJIMy3
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa7OqTfiy9
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCN6IPwVDRU
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE93hgQdfoQ
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQKGeABTss
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBPkU79RmB
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXRPYmneqn
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ob3LuTxpA
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmRBxEMqcm
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6OvUyrdG5
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7MYsO1bqj
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5k6fxU3Cj
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbJS7l13qp
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCwPSxzTwT
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns216.73.216.166da2
