x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmvpIv1wg9
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtLyH6hLHv
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5biTipwL3P
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKiIOWa6EH
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMZKLsiatm
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAzUZn1B7S
Really talking.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJp40dipx3A
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl15ab96FfQ
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXAFVeL8D2
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYgIsqeJcv
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9CiOWBk7L
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uDi7R3X1k
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXv5aMRcGm
Or164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4wNOBOfs4
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUBd9ZrPxO
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJ8t0ZicvM
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknWXJogbWu
I typed.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZkQsKrUZD
Deleted.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf05jtQAbWn
Typed again.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz9Cw35gdJ
Deleted.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAWb694Cnb
Typed again.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIv38ivDIKK
Deleted.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkcCzctjsC
Typed again.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP93UBEIA22
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUpjsjdspP
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡce4Jd0O5xX
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplgY6LQxrx
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mtrzsxZp2
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaDdnADyjn
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU93v5fWkh
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQ7JncOubJ
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6NHsKFaoj
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6Jsxd5HzH
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKBQFLb6tC
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdXp242dlW
“I love pizza.”164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBx2abb0TV
“I love that show.”164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxJQSKmUOh
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKWsZGRXgc
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCigTzULN1
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCD7Iu3uKz
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPuU7rWea0
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnIlUbzO9q
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzxLSvfNCH
Maybe love is giving without expecting.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKonSyr5LVN
Hoping without demanding.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLTy2CfnNT
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPDDGlzDLU
then what does that make me?
A gambler?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJmJx7EL8W
A poet with no ink?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwm6R8fyaN
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOxDjXCgqe
It doesn’t ask for returns.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAbNr16LrH
It just… is.
Like the moon.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleuhBD1LXZ
Distant. Cold sometimes.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9z2E8sQzQ
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aipDJe6Hg
One that felt like surrender.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTMiDQgp7B
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6L0AuEe2G
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwT0ykJzN8d
Not because I wanted to.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByxtQzxE7F
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9GztRJGe1
let the poet in me die trying,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcdC0RVjVt
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iI69CRNSV
time won't change the answer,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4m4oUqqmU
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKhLaaRavc
I want her to smile when she sees my name.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhpZgYh7vj
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt8YOYoEI9
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4T1q9vN4B
But I can be someone good.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgCKJvMd1S
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bs0ujUMDZ
"Sure, of course."164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdglb1BED5Y
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKDaKp9iZL
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEre8tXdNEC
but it still matters.
The night grew older.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwl6un6Hnpw
The conversation faded into a simple:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUvnWFXGMe
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP32sm34u9
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxp0tIDHig
Ceiling fan humming.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gkIDHdzMg
Eyes open.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XJglucrWE
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvFoQpS1Nv
The silence turned into a lullaby.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6PkLipg9F
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PBMkFlZBg
not even of love,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxjDSgv68c
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicp7quPSPB
No moon. No wind.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhocCMAsHQ
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡle7N43z0uA
“Do you think love makes you whole?164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpigrVdZ2K
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PDBNVXMkJ
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmOr3Ai99Z
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xlI6M0eGV
A reason.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwRKk895iP
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGOxEB4CBg
a feeling.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlV81a5vvaK
A choice.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK4TPhSEgR
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPGzuPDphc
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6K6ZeQilA
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXV6jTdSFqe
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQDN8egP6y
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMuTrtmXnS
peace.
