I'm a horrible person.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ysv7jHWce
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirgVFP4O1E
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKGyW4rawk
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV7OZlfzPq
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKFXKx23KQ
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEG6Wh5qy8V
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkX4bTAfT14
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RQi9vq6SP
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWvqT0UZla
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHKlamEXRl
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Js3xrSNxj
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSUQUdksCk
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSioHd8WOr
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2WTCbKu1O
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPcXVzTE6L
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0AQIKWfQ2
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkyv4Klycr
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsg2geJ7dDW
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcu8PdCS0n
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9gzsbwjpt
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSclckkFDH
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhe5CVNuLt
Of being lonely.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuboq3Gjxo
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVY9YEdtkxU
374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ476Z6Il6vJ
So I take comfort in my own world.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCSLu1gWBB
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdbLnAWCtu
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoUEcvHgNj
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAxOcAKXzx
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SyU3Oky4z
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpEP7z4UpJ
374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEvfw4eqXn
I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfamTUAuBC
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDfF8whOTg
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINWuKWCkpu
374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3x8FgbpXw
What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqA9Xp9co4
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyHwdjopZS
I shouldn't even have been born.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU30jf0vK2g
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQ2xtfEtCb
....374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ1cnTTqqi
[Deleted passage]374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFYKR9KOrP
