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I told her once—
"I'll be your confidence."
Because she had always been mine.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1wfHFdYzA
From the beginning.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01oqjGVjuu
She lit sparks in dull moments.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79grG76fEq
Listened when I didn’t even know what I was saying.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaL7Bl2F3XH
Talked like every word was music, and I was just lucky to hear it.
So when I saw an internship opportunity from Flipkart — open only for girls —33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwKrGzWHDW
I didn’t hesitate.
I told her.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuny0J2XEzv
Knowing full well she might hesitate.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOI2rnTZHE
Because that’s me when it comes to her.
Never missing a chance to be her helping hand.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRdno2IH8T
Never wanting her to miss one step toward something better.
She thought about it.
And she said, “Okay.”
The day of the test arrived.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJPnSGYU3T
We planned to meet in the library, afternoon.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLfDWDecRX
In one of the quiet discussion rooms.
I reached early.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3zv0evMcn
Maybe because I was eager.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXaBa0SHcX
Maybe because I thought, somehow, today could fix the cracks.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoEMZzwxib
Or at least remind us of how we once were.
I had everything ready: the laptop open, test page preloaded, my heart strangely light.
When she arrived, I gave her my laptop for a while — to finish some English assignment.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyJ71sMxqj
And I took her laptop.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHT4p1R3qh
Told her not to worry about it.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezOeM67Yai
Told myself it would ease the guilt… the distance.
She smiled.
And it felt like I was doing the right thing.
But then… I did something I can never take back.
Not because I wanted to know who she was texting.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zWvKHY8w1
Not out of jealousy.
But out of that quiet ache —33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DqbsI7oY1
To know if I still existed in her world the way she lived in mine.
I opened her WhatsApp.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNbHZulJtH
Typed my own name in the search bar.
What I read…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T8xYIA8yG
Was not what I was ready for.
At first, it made me smile.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYE3YiF2ai
Little mentions.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq2tzzOzFA
Small memories.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcfc5E0MmR
Familiar tones.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59ugIt6fbP
But then…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9rEFWtZFc
The words changed.
"I feel awkward around him."33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUY74O20sg
"At last, I feel comfortable talking to someone… than talking to him"
It crushed me.
Like being stabbed by a voice I once trusted to save me.
I wanted to cry.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyigI3FqRFp
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I just stared ahead.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUFGcqerwp
Acted normal.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqnWgNH78n
Pretended the world hadn’t just collapsed under my feet.
Because that’s what I do best.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ165usLlU8c
Break in silence.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjkxGRWHPQ
Smile with scars.
The test began.
I gave it everything.
Some questions were easy.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5LR1uPmMz
Some weren’t.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xohyaYAuH
But she never saw the storm behind my calm.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDAmbZ5i1m
She didn’t know the war I was fighting in my head as I smiled, as I helped, as I tried to just be a friend.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLKZG5DcwX
But I had made a promise.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiy3X03qeKt
And no matter how broken I was, I never go back on a promise.
Later, as we packed up to leave…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtYKG11CNf
She noticed something on my laptop.
Her name.
Saved as Stranger.
She asked.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqo3EKLuzjX
But I didn’t answer.
Because how do you explain that someone once felt like home,33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iZAEZltfK
and now they’re just…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwwWtWr81l
an address you can’t return to?
I still see her.
With Ren.
Laughing.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkeKwK4Mcl
Talking freely.
No awkwardness.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKrfEBa86r
No hesitation.
Everything I ever tried to be for her…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ruWgFDx5j
he now is.
I never wanted more than friendship.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGJqPPXhUw
But somehow… even that was too much to ask for.
I buried everything — my feelings, thoughts, jealousy, guilt —33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrUQeVQaqZ
over and over.
But no matter how many times I tried to bury it all…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ssVvGUZKi
I always ended up the one grieving.
But it never seemed to be enough.
What changed?
Or maybe…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd338cALo4
nothing ever did.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3QDQAer7J
Maybe there was nothing from the start — to change at all.
Now the buses have changed their places again.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXV9bwAvMlZ
Destiny playing chess with people’s lives.
Alice’s bus — no longer somewhere in between —33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE46w5AXAs
now parked neatly alongside Ren’s.
While mine?
Still at the same spot since day one.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand the stories whispered by the evening wind.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1YsKsL8Ru
And the answers it hides in plain sight.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7LaX0OZxF
At last,… all these are just words.
Words I wish she heard.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbkBuw3qxW
Words I wish I never said.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGPBLyOW7Z
Words I’ll carry long after she forgets them.
Because…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0C3TVJ2nID
When I saw those messages, I couldn’t bear to read any further.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCid9fyDBc0
When I sat across from her —33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEkXnVKVnl
And she had no idea that she still trusted me,33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcHQRYfwra
While I was doing the very thing I swore, I’d never do.
I broke her trust.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPZm6k1mm5
I betrayed her.
And the worst part?
I still love her enough to hope…33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhLoPlQiLt
She never finds out.
