[1] "Welcome to... (gritted teeth) Celestial Enterprises Convenience Store"
The Goddess stood there in a crumpled clerk uniform, her bunny ear headband replaced with a "Smile Performance Monitor." Every time her cheek twitched, the "Faith Meter Collar" around her neck zapped her with electricity.
"Here’s your order, sir," she dead-eyed, handing me an onigiri. "The 'Hellfire Spicy Flavor'... (voice trembling) En-joy."
I stared at the tiny flag stabbed into the rice ball:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoqvwf0Jze
"WARNING: Contains Demon King saliva. May awaken unionization urges."118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmOCreECRs
—Clearly, my familiar’s handiwork.
[2] The Familiar’s Managerial Gaslighting 101
"Listen up!" The familiar hopped onto the register counter, prodding the Goddess’ forehead with a pointer:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnAZXPFPQq
"Three Rules of Retail:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXzQDfDgGT
1️⃣ The Customer is God (even if you used to be one)118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFJZuBc7rx
2️⃣ Late Clock-Ins Deduct Pay (yesterday’s "holy teleportation" punch-in was caught on camera)118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2Fbya6dJC
3️⃣ Expired Stock Comes Out of Your Paycheck (we know you ate that pudding!)"
The Goddess gripped the barcode scanner: "But I’m a deity! Why should I—"
BZZT!
The collar electrocuted her into a faceplant—just as her former Heavenly colleagues walked in and filmed it:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6q6iLRNNRE
"SHOCKING! Goddess Performs Dogeza Over Failed KPIs!" (Retweet to enter Hell Coin giveaway!)
[3] "Do You Have Any Idea How Hard the Mortal Realm Is?!"
During late-night restocking, the Goddess suddenly hurled a box at me:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpG7vEbbbmK
"Why do humans buy 'Demon Castle Ruins Merch' over Heaven Lottery Tickets?! Why does 'Holy Water' sell worse than 'Hell Energy Drinks'?! Why—"
"Because you gods..." I tore open a bag of chips, "...never understood value for money."
Inside the bag, she found "Union Propaganda":118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrFhBOcnMj
"Tired of Divine Exploitation? Join the Three-Realm United Workers' Union!118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I6lNMVRWR
First Month FREE + 'Deicide Spicy Strips' Sample Pack!"
[4] The Goddess’ Awakening – Convenience Store Existentialism
After failing her 101st Smile Evaluation, the Goddess was punished with fridge-cleaning duty. Then, she overheard two office ladies:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt2TSRu8Ly
"Pulled another all-nighter..."118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrCOHPbX4V
"At least convenience store hot dogs won’t betray me."
Staring at the 24/7 neon glow, her holy eyes welled up:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEaqHpJj5y
"So... eternal light exists... for exhausted souls to have somewhere to go?"
Right then—
DING! The door chime rang. The otaku demon burst in wearing a VR headset:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8Yaqb8hFC
"Quick! Animal Crossing: Hell Edition just dropped the 'Heaven Island DLC'! Goddess-sama, PLEASE help me grind a 5-star rating!"
