x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpEmXQg06d
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOB4xrOSht
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGvDq9TpXB
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZmULVOF7S
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IVrQhCIOa
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2K6Yo4ZZ0
Really talking.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75hneF6TWB
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrc1H1x92s
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw93JblD0U
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHDWf5eqRV
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMe3jpAln0n
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BEMiXN9Yy
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXH7ElG9YA
Or176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7yrcmOeIN
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqlGgZnYlz
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEuZ2OxYnm
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW9lnhZG7p
I typed.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLEVToHHQs
Deleted.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6LsqhQTaF
Typed again.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIxeyhqGgE
Deleted.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21OWT8E9Ww
Typed again.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBIIimhPku
Deleted.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU1xW864p3
Typed again.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQYtEHw6bC
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9b42hC5kHb
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjxgXhMPW2
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJdIcfJWhU
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhAOlTxD1Z
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLefKIz7CRh
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuG1YJbPDi
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbJVWYbEkz
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOftdpWANCq
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6XO2k7FHn
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ1Jj5uPaT
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5dGDc36e5
“I love pizza.”176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoRqlg18aG
“I love that show.”176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuTNN1FYsM
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGv9WGhrrX
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwzfztbWpC
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOpbvUM3pA
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZnEimZEcf
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZDlsvZRYl
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY7dWyHuBB
Maybe love is giving without expecting.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejlDV5ga9k
Hoping without demanding.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS73AK7nKkL
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYiOdiVHJ8
then what does that make me?
A gambler?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEK1WcERXg
A poet with no ink?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SlnzCPkmv
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkzU0cWl7Y
It doesn’t ask for returns.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0dgMox2wi
It just… is.
Like the moon.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgxzJvJBg8
Distant. Cold sometimes.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pVhqOBf5f
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa29TWA0vi
One that felt like surrender.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMkXBkvgSU
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXu5E5ozYC
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0N0ZCwzQXb
Not because I wanted to.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFcLnSIgmA
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCSTrU9nbh
let the poet in me die trying,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM11Sjt3qf
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzK5kheLJsc
time won't change the answer,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlwB1oMvEK
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0e7ANQZ0L
I want her to smile when she sees my name.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wo02iQzXh
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RNESHa7XR
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4DQp8xIB7
But I can be someone good.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwEJD7bd2E
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtkYURRBlh
"Sure, of course."176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2WZjKgPkD
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgInNHAWR8B
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C0l6rRcoZ
but it still matters.
The night grew older.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Xvu1CPoKk
The conversation faded into a simple:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDie3QfrAj
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0i4HtxkmOS
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKdEzVnqtC
Ceiling fan humming.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzp6pGRMLX
Eyes open.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAClqik6hb
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjiWKanVAb
The silence turned into a lullaby.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrK2r3tZGO
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2goBVQlDl
not even of love,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96JgAp0Aav
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDX1VEKk4mj
No moon. No wind.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHg6LnVJyO
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29EZsQmSt0
“Do you think love makes you whole?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYRX1H9dOh
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdYk7XZLJG
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMvQ5aENUg
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGI2xEiReDP
A reason.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPfHzFZbzr
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U2DNyvt5w
a feeling.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUdsJGfdCp
A choice.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD0sFYtRx7
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00id9WktOI
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipmg3eTNPx
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOJ3ZhvgyD
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08mvO786at
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSzDq2nsT2
peace.
