惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnXcox4BEI
我不是那種「一般」的孩子381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9f4aB3wZtN
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv8gEfCF8J
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9DktgO3gY
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rr79qPI8M
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKqH95yFmS
童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡff93KXkHcN
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qrJwcJGPn
不是我害怕381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5849xuSzdV
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkl5rA0inYe
是害怕自身
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBweaA6Jye3
世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaGBtd9onC
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcs8ks0bGF
因為不同，意味改變381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUQ7yJcH26
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTUg1b6vvI
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BhsSD1Bta
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3LDsdWqSc
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMgnTniXQi
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJUsJxrXjD
這道理381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEInFetXtt
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRZqnYVpKv
我是明白的381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbeEFz1tU9
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiSk3w9tQe
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKxoJE5xio
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHOb48b0Dl
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFB4IwyPLj
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzNaB6JmTd
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaadNAWApV3
—— 啪喇 ——381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVL97tQEGP
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcwoyVa37t
「廢物！」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZR2xd1rFL
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbSYRCQvNY
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbENJHK8V6
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxl1ssVSzkp
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKt6cl2g4Q
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXji2SuQD3X
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0wRb15zNN
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQhUCVry2m
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKahzwcWJk
「該死⋯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzTs3HkfEo
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGgqEBMPCz
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7PI4ipNfh
使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQNC7cOCOD
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlvOfVzt3M
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjokPcZ921F
象牙製煙斗
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勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO3PexFgdB
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TpsHmNdfT
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE08155f7Zs
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl9kuooBvz
「⋯呼⋯⋯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2RRu9mmmC
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yoNgb1wJZ
雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpMxCysSWP
背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK573FQrTP
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyaVuk8Tf5
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6sVKKZs3R
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1TdooWzoz
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRF8ByIKswW
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBAVwHtxbk
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFpSds8UQx
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT3F5cswA2
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRZNeMthd0
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9r3jSgytY
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzATGGr2Qvy
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKM3epHskIU
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarCGieyQLg
因為她要真正的「全景」
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUPSNfBiCr
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb31vn7Fdx1
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpXoLWzZPs
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJKBL0b5Bp
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPbFdSSGW5
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNT2b6brPV
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95s8vqPGnA
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCwT3cvDio
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPUwix7kXj
山松組的力量381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxShH2wOS5
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBEZx0wbhW
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPZ6sKAh71
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud4agQznx8
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZblnhMtw2
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAQFN2ZBIy
她是我的姐姐381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF8X71faIS
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAsgxp2sPs
山松組的老大381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBepoCvdwNi
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoET6h8A6oi
大和英加381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2jEHYtFq7
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡme24onPrjs
「說話啊」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjHIUDyK8s
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkMl8OlNmW
央百花381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHFzVlsruH
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFvpZzQYEu
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWiIL1ambs
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTguIm6uZg
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs8MqhzQOf
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRG6IgXqYx
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf8sTMlPV4
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKxUwBc2Fk
「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4B7oCMUvU
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtHxcW0bQB
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybpKxcRFhG
「⋯⋯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ndKcpulxm
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LRsewAQIA
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAB31I8kAQ
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTBgnU2v3U
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SXQJQ8FlG
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5ZwyVPhM2
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvCkUHGdQw
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yG7ZE23S4
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKudLPyhhX
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvZk7uCh1Q
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBUy9SAK9N
所以說，我到底做了什麼？381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlpqvk6mgV
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QQIBGfyg2
我在反叛嗎？可能381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRikbb6zyIo
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppjqa312IA
讓困難自己解決381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8EiG8Js01
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxtfDfGiUB
但困難就是自己381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmnKOJNZTm
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHEuBiohC2
所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhqGTPJ5hO
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMvRLAt7ac
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrKzo4RO3m
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPfBZrpdvC
不用去想更多平時的負面了381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WlQ2ZGvFs
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR1tHXGPWb
單憑感覺行事381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClcbmgHiRY
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ztHb14wxC
這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UA40SdsaF
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4J7atURrX4
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYSwTB11n8
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrxYVgqgvO
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wmfYtsfuz
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別開玩笑381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXA6mXoUBqd
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但我有選擇嗎？381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCJQqE6PiU
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注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmg7Oqpvmiy
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJJtKVDWDh
不過單是自己也是381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7gySrkWgL
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我不想這樣子381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8RQl7SJo8
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ27TUvHFth
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我不希望這樣子的「特別」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaTtAM74Gd
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFL0RHyF6L
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsMKUCdYxU
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
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當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaSjU2ceJY
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我根本沒有能力去保護自己381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6jwPjY2GY
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沒有能力381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatxNjlVlcA
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一直以來也是381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX36FcICef
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我⋯⋯381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiCgqKAfpm
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我381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6A8wpg7KD
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我根本沒有選擇381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVO15r8xHmR
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現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFZrDRQqCU
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdmwPp1rpz
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算啦⋯381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38GVcqIkQU
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW3yiSNfst
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
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「⋯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuF0OOZ1LD
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kqzs04vd1
怎也沒所謂了381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jcHdRfFOv
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73QIiZxPH3
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPb7MrE9sJs
「⋯算了」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm2kUkEDA0
「我要出去食晚飯了」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CYEUVaPbA
「你打算怎樣子呢」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDpgbYArYO
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdiKwhd9u2
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381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2XxP9lnq0
「⋯⋯嗯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bcybyRnRe
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMNGsP0dM3
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXDs05U3lX
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqday4Ax7l
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31Lxsx4PJW
沒所謂了381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEJHqtSTmd
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexxriqd0Oo
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbEgo7FmJi
「⋯⋯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcmTgrSXKo
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TejKzVvLh
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mNYFE2mCo
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP3C6O3avN
反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZvWSQvAMt
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZpTdRe77i
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhd30iQPMr
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6VIdZOlsh
反正381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOriyjbULH
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemof5aU2yU
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOHs0VC8lc
「⋯」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgp3lrsiNiA
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIxJ6LgD62
「笨蛋」381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvvcB9B5n4
381Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnx6g00T2LK
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