惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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我不是那種「一般」的孩子306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2iQA19217
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qbhPCR9AF
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiID0evzXrI
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童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCo6UYFks1j
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不是我害怕306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXku7Lbocw
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjdMvZPN1G
是害怕自身
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLn6zFapfPn
世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmoQpowfxw
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSl9S5X1Acd
因為不同，意味改變306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfeiP7XhNt
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMUfC3djqJ
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiqQE4Nr6s
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmQT9ExzjT
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RXmpSWz0V
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFQs5HVuto
這道理306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5jPIkTPLw
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWnGYwd4mE
我是明白的306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w5aWC46SH
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5u0EnrEHI
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwU0sFoJGyt
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxwwvG6ViG
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDcValhD1J
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqy3uTEh3X
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFkCO7b1y7
—— 啪喇 ——306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I0trUpIEA
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG4axZVdLt
「廢物！」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vIk42IFgs
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgC5HPYggvR
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy5nd9ozbb
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS2mJxVmpc
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t90otTGOs
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHr9UWJWCE3
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXrJR4an9J
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSB8BFJzdE
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uNjKm5BAW
「該死⋯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyx7SbXmO1
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使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa55rWEjMGD
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstJHK4NBlH
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlfLVbHPOY
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohgh6pxIVm
象牙製煙斗
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd68NOO7TLm
勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkg0sIHkqf
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghLBoTJtz1
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUGOptZYh1
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zSMaFABdh
「⋯呼⋯⋯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYztR62qRZ3
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmczsCkqlv
雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQvUmRtFZv
背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoWmbZGZZb
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7KQ8sO4gi
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Aag2HwxOp
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU9z12LWwH
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Pz8jmVt0b
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JIYdJvyhY
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZrQyLwpPM
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiXAdvTEEl
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYXAmu5HNd
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVyjNi8VRC
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8Ru8PFHlN
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBahRYpdMVr
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLytEn8of8b
因為她要真正的「全景」
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu18u3PIUH8
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLQIlF5Os1
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL51CSTIuj
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFbBgHnRfe
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JsJVBMpaV
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHT9pMjKOz
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt1qdgfl5H
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9Wg1piQTz
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSv6JPZhTm
山松組的力量306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjS4VN8L46
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAFqZPxONz
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIOjDW5u6M
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTOtrRyOtu
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BbWx5zK5x
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCjLb4BRob
她是我的姐姐306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxN1huQy9GN
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhelab9yOHm
山松組的老大306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdf56NIt4N
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvlSrXnhJR
大和英加306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowbpjos2e7
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdKs6xROIp
「說話啊」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8ec6wTZAm
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon8w5nY0Ui
央百花306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8gF3RpeFs
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnQHXiPNFk
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3QfAf6Wqx
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRTGAWNtjd
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoh0F8OC6OY
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
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「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89bDQqa3fo
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
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「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjuEoR0mT3
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Rourg9Tmg
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpOuJPIjsw
「⋯⋯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdg4DIJ09Wi
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtWaSbhsXh
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEay40zOcuf
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgA0R1Mon9
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4Itc5Gbzr
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BZ2tDVEJh
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY267r9ST5V
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3bWVPHUJm
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnddJkfiSQV
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62RFpJYNg9
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2MbtxivxP
所以說，我到底做了什麼？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ADVtvkPCu
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiLNyDGwdd
我在反叛嗎？可能306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLdBuLulvH
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZwXN566IB
讓困難自己解決306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yPGLhF3Oo
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikUDP5gQCB
但困難就是自己306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylADrMQcgI
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPOB1QEOJK
所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueTYEoqZCc
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBqn8X4U3N
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsJwco3l5l
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7g7ag2QQmv
不用去想更多平時的負面了306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59G1thrTIN
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrtBe7hP2p
單憑感覺行事306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3W6kTyQ9J
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkmLJMMrSF
這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQqgUvMQLz
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOfvUCKiRl
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcBZlh21HR
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGr7KmTM6P
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxn8vXUVd6r
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別開玩笑306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIc8D2f4u1
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但我有選擇嗎？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcbUn3A4Sg
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注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVnw7toB5r
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不過單是自己也是306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDtHUSDe0E
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我不想這樣子306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYo8dtYnAeT
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我不希望這樣子的「特別」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPC13RLDtmo
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrD0gyELHi
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
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當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq2ETxDwAf
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我根本沒有能力去保護自己306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0DkfI6fX2
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沒有能力306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxXott8aZM
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一直以來也是306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy6a66YlRQ
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我⋯⋯306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWYVkCg1dE
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我306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5iDr9yB4t
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我根本沒有選擇306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhJYS4EqKI
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306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoi8yM2NSMG
現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiaiXnEQxk
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算啦⋯306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6b0SR7NPh
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ituswQN6W
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
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「⋯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzNfjSP8oD
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怎也沒所謂了306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGvDnxT99o
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「⋯算了」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYGG3uiHHT
「我要出去食晚飯了」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPrkrTM9qe
「你打算怎樣子呢」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqn3PfHMEt
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「⋯⋯嗯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUpu3EIDWF
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沒所謂了306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbx6ZKdBwgg
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「⋯⋯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQUgV4Ro12
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反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KJyA2CKQj
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反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykajfhMjGn
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反正306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp18jdXjRIt
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「⋯」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJtfjsrzJZ
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「笨蛋」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OkSolfxp7
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