致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZrmszDepZ
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前提，是特殊情況之下291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQqFVoJArM
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBR2NLFx7F
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大概291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIGNf4cWhJ
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXMY2GS5t1
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1O82M13dUM
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「⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0J0CqO67m
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjhrwmUylJ
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JIJyOP6Kq
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tvxwZi1TX
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7s4PBxmJjU
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不良日常性時候291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwAZGneN6j
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjcN6E6OyV
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgk0Dd6V4F
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu21wqDukGg
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiY3b82JfI
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDrfKBVHXm
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmw9BqnX9be
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewCvDsI39x
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsGyR6SUvz
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzpM1p1pHM
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqqtZA9tB0
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「呀！來了、來了！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0W2aH0A4X1
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「走啊～」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIikyj3Y2A
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aFxoTV1pr
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTQIvWHla6
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他291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWyU9Jj3mY
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「又被欺負了嗎？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglDcX3NRBV
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefOTGM76k6
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PW4LlNOmi
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTUSTPHwV5
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4jmUGtDC4
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmTgI6EIb2
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⋯⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2SfRU9LED
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怎也好呢291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOvWnvVSyZ
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「⋯⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7xnj2Xjr3
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUx3cw4gOc
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlvb1hrliP
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—— 咔 ——291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgDkX4rLDi
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⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHGyHq179R
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⋯⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa316O028j
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wEWSbnNs3
「嗚⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcaVLeWLck
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RPdYntYIv
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDSQrY6g2o
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmyoHOjCFe
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「啊？！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vujgeIF24
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—— 啪噹 ——291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOc4cmwEih
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzGF5QNEIC
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RUBODRvbw
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她一樣291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFTwgJjkhe
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPakTRm6UUA
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluDTO2Jzs2
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「對不起！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOvE3B7t1k
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EMK5vMxxJ
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「來」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WaUjidMcK
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「⋯謝謝」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAR5jxuqpc
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSDN7fDkEm
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO9Q5NLAOY
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8qQBOZREw
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1xx6j6Wri
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「那個，水無月？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeBxgBVQDh
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「怎麼了？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZLVj2MuRE
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Kl8ClE9Cc
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各種291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETUZxFvWq6
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FcPjMPu48
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R5ieKWfnF
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且只能回味291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZICVMIAn0C
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「回來了嗎，島見？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7cgAgHuyw
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2vF3KMUF4
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwMcHu9fFE
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDMaexp6ZK
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「媽媽⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWSvmKObsw
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「⋯⋯是的？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GQpyyn1Rt
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1XXBRX1qK
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjSVywDD4E
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3vRAcYzTK
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2nXlogV5f
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呢291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoI8LUPLPvK
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnoxWZ5bcD
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEyZD8mO2b
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCTH566Fec
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotrDDRvSto
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「這樣嗎⋯？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLnCEB3uju
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb8dp1cCs2
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「生日快樂！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mg3HN0FGs
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJ713kRn52
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太過成功才使人後悔啊291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPECiuQjAq7
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FLtpilmyI
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—— 噗 ——291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTUOf9QWgW
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「喜歡」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTXH7iKFZ9
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GqoTn5apa
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如果⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5yUiBQDL2
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE422zsixx
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來得太突然了，去得太突然291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsz27LMgRj
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeTZ4CWc0O
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWYYf0qLlj
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE06J6oNCA
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「⋯對不起⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0f6l7Pb3b
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對不起有什麼用？291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3DLz6aqkn
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道歉又有什麼用？291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhSMHu38n2
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卻291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIn7wD0QqtA
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK2bexj4AF
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要説再見了嗎？291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IPYloEsCi
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我不想291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8695RR8VN
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyTJSQCga5
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KMv3TLv57
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我不想那樣子291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrrXHdZsYF
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCcZcigzUx
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubVvIo4gs8
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不在這般的前半生之後291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBn8JLPBLc
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⋯⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOAXSR1xka
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無論如何，日子倒是來了291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuz1EjZaq3
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最後的笑容，就在當刻291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2x2x81ue6
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4MVRrBh7h
291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcN9z0LAS8我不接受291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIttSz5NOAY
291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OMgrWXtCJ我不接受291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPObbFW72o
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—— 啾 ——291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRMJqFiMS4
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我不接受291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63bGkcXo6g
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「賀羽⋯？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60CrcvZubq
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—— 啾 ——291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITy7oZJvK6
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT11XtFWVuR
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMO8mYXUly
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我不接受這樣的結果291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBj1k7Ton0
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKpKgZfuuc
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqkPzDlOOg
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkEVsayQYJ
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我的本性291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWvkcDBY25
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME70W1BFrh
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—— 啪 ——291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCVj64EoXe
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「給我閉嘴」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWmpiQ5Pgn
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNulEkjDnqT
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我終究只是野獸而已呢291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKDwkJN4Mf
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZCHMzVaRJ
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gOrml53Cc
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而作為人形野獸真的該死291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypVwYGghSb
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如此痛苦也是活該291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknOSwjiT7I
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忘記不能也是291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXt6bBhqcV
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkICRez8mi6
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lonXgLmEg
「張開口！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5Dj6drJgI
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fuEcUkqV4
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發現了嗎？291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ggp97epUP
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsQkaEX4nN
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt30KveMdQD
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tFMTe1c8h
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「為什麼⋯⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8Vi33xAox
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我所嚮往的291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXOlOkYwdi
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所謂的291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeI469YeiC
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「正常」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m24Hhs7Qi
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純粹是個謊言291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlTmN35Njx
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0MDis8Xtl
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡar1FqeSmPm
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⋯⋯291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX29jyO0Ger
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所以說，我是異類嗎？291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZrtbrUD0t
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「⋯⋯再見了」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpKSarUDxw
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當然291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr64G9IUf7Y
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyt468NJgC
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl26j9KhOVW
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vhwb4foVi
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「嘿⋯」291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DAqmdHmjD
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自討而已291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrVMX4sE0p
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns52.14.165.32da2
