致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh8MZECQxb
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前提，是特殊情況之下376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZrAEtRkyE
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ8RsQOVXg
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大概376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHMoXVkNiI
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWiD0hpMPh
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVZpIg0hZJ
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「⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlk4STJaB1u
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzazA4oN3V0
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRafH6kEsFw
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpR5oQCseRq
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3pBEN5Kbe
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不良日常性時候376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0FZfnC8Q8
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PjOUSRaO9
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTAukEFS53
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8rkbpeW3T
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT9fzFk4w0
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMUd6jlzPI
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u25li8Xlm
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXfx4wzZK5
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24yo88Yfes
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGnuUC3xlS
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk87i4yZpP
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「呀！來了、來了！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ72LIzkB6
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「走啊～」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2nxrlraWs
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp1jyLnfsb
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr3Vmp0bhI
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他376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkODQirLB3
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「又被欺負了嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXde2jcBt7
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuxp8lLICk
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcqALlAj2J
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtPoQ7MYwe
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZbEAEcdP5
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw31HuZdA7j
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⋯⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VYxyX0KYN
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怎也好呢376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzseufNq3f3
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「⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMJztJ9vQw
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59An9zB50b
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvIUxlRFrK
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—— 咔 ——376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1H7DKB0L8P
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⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDZVoZ9tbN
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⋯⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv0j01sOrN
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CZkXpj2vR
「嗚⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiB30VpbE5
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTrBMFmo5J
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMrgdgCfEo
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8pqkokUuF
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「啊？！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnuwDAKrjZ
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—— 啪噹 ——376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZlSbVlMwb
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr4q4u12hJ
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbU4AGF77Dn
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她一樣376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47HTIyvbp4
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbxkE4zU29
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIW8PvtzCW
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「對不起！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYfKOuzo1e
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXb44psGWx
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「來」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSabBSVQlO
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「⋯謝謝」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtfLazHeoF
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPc4eM9oo3L
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1ZDuW5uXz
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3wRA9ThBk
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiA1P6O1mjh
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「那個，水無月？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgP6a7FOYx
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「怎麼了？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMIJ7swLVQ
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczI7gK8MJy
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各種376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxvn05zCNR
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgCrJbcFaE
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDiz72kzbY
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且只能回味376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs5Xi3KFxj
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「回來了嗎，島見？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxlz0jTc6A
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrGCx2c2cX
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAHKu3gbl3
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsANxVndAmJ
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「媽媽⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzn6VANA53b
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「⋯⋯是的？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfivyoqUuu
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1kk1W03on
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7nS4zjgTx
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEtplp3XZ0
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq8HIye1mL
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呢376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGtEk9wtsy
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVasyLvfubp
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi4UTWrRU7
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZMeGPhHau
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「欸？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2vyglw8Af
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjykD880fK
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「這樣嗎⋯？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCXoyoQojt
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehH64hnkk7
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「生日快樂！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyg1ykqztl
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIo0yAUvegF
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太過成功才使人後悔啊376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zCMLzkKOx
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghoA1zKiDZ
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「⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRq2ovJPCR
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD276L46fSW
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—— 噗 ——376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBDupvmMtP
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「喜歡」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSRhL4YHU1
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「賀羽？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8o1PGe1lf
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡze7Cqf4zcs
「太好了⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIFRWGEPIn
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcBW5ZxKyI
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如果⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUgLueFfLh
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnJeo792he
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來得太突然了，去得太突然376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagkDJNEALy
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376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZygQprkad好痛376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJRml0CBtr
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「什麼？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRe6xwpunRp
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF02AfUzGX3
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPIKCqDW8w
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbgWDnZHj5
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFF67n9zax
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「⋯對不起⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgIoO1055b
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對不起有什麼用？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LCkKy0ave
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道歉又有什麼用？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeU6DcYc2n
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卻376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3gXtxpTjT
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAVoKFtwF2
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要説再見了嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13dLSjz6q6
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我不想376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHTLjT6sf5
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG1yEXsVuf
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtGbPrLRbx
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我不想那樣子376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yoINEx9fs
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CoMCKg8Vq
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1ozaArVU2
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不在這般的前半生之後376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6eH27X1CQ
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⋯⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IgMZjo0SO
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無論如何，日子倒是來了376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILkSNUPmCI
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最後的笑容，就在當刻376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L8v6oScNN
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpljIohBla
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDH363qfL2q我不接受376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRpTgLisoz
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxlmpFXzPR我不接受376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwsHY5zIqN
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—— 啾 ——376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BsrnRKKbt
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我不接受376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaptSzvwwk
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「賀羽⋯？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbnpK0UD7U
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—— 啾 ——376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTE7cflL06
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WYyQUJdXd
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcB80Lvf33N
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我不接受這樣的結果376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyP6yDWpKW
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2FVxGVCnl
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AX81tFhEK
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1bSF8tYji
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我的本性376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH6HiuEHFM
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkFFTK2ee9
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—— 啪 ——376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71mJQQxT3c
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「給我閉嘴」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡei5RRISR3y
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84fxtrGl7A
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我終究只是野獸而已呢376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdtXFfTYtq
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqwpZAlhf2
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BtplAP48r
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而作為人形野獸真的該死376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZx6M1Xjq5
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如此痛苦也是活該376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5YRUSaNo0
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忘記不能也是376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc7KPDmsF3
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMK9MiFhqS
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmE3lHor74
「張開口！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbQySCtZhs
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH9Ro6IipA
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發現了嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cKi34Huap
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMNywzf7dC
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUAk1J1ZJa
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRSjineJSw
我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIanHJzbvVz
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「為什麼⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7O2GfyZQp
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我所嚮往的376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KUa29b1us
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzOn347my9
所謂的376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfViUJWI7t
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「正常」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxx5eNo2tp
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純粹是個謊言376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGdn4ILTlu
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4kOTYWArT
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5Bv3v6isz
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⋯⋯376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieSfkfrQdm
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所以說，我是異類嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5kLw4trk4
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「⋯⋯再見了」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrZFL4szy5
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當然376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgO8YBjiNp
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYkzGa1FX4
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt47MBIfqu
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F22jwls6s
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「嘿⋯」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Acq4M3GH6
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自討而已376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNiu81cHAk
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns216.73.216.85da2
